fatshit

I’m trying to kill the parts of me I so badly don’t want to exist. It just seems to be more of me than I expected.

you care not for my life, you care not for the tears you did not pay attention when I told you all my fears you do not understand my heart, you do not understand my pain you do not understand the chaos that tears around my brain you broken, odd child, you possessor of the inane I am allowed to have this anger! It does not make me insane! I am allowed to be bitter, I am allowed to be sad I am allowed to hate you for treating me like I’m mad what sick trick of fate, turns love into this crime this beautiful thing marred! the fault is not just mine have you forgotten who I am, have you forgotten that I care have you forgotten all the smiles or the love that we have shared you wish I was dead, frozen in the ground you wish to sew my mouth shut, so I never make a sound you ignore the love I gave, you ignore the things I do you ignore that despite everything, I’m still in love with you you spare no thought for me, or miss my peculiar ways I gave you my everything, and now I have to pay and I will pay and pay and pay until you see that I care until you see that I am broken and losing you has me scared I’m scared, I’m hurt, I miss you It’s an illness everyday It’s an illness to love someone who doesn’t mind if you go away Might as well die It won’t be a shame You won’t spare a glance Everything will just be the same

You’re ashamed of crying because it has a salty bitter taste. But let me tell you, darling, so does the ocean. And just like the ocean, your tears are powerful and magnificent. They’re a mystery waiting to be uncovered.