The Very Personification of Laziness

Word count: 2k

Me:

That’s a really good point. It’s really not a “female vs male takes” issue. Like you said, Sailor Moon (especially the manga) can get really dark and have the characters go through a lot of suffering while the much more upbeat and light Precure series have male directors. 

Suphero prioritised his ‘work’ over his family once too often in his young days, and never told his wife he was a secret superhero, and thus he and his wife split up. It was acrimonious at the time, but they’re both good people and they’ve worked through it and are friends again and he makes a real effort to show up when the kids expect him, etc, and basically he’s a lot more together now. Met a nice badass lady at his day job and it’s all good. 

His ex-wife has also met a nice lady at *her* job, he’s happy for her, the kids like this new one, and eventually the ex-wife decides, hey, my gf and I are getting serious, she’s in our kids’ lives, they should meet each other. 

Great, says Superhero, I’d love to, dinner sounds great. He turns up at the ex-wife’s place with wine, flowers, and some candy for the kids to show how mature and evolved he is these days, and he’s just walking up to the door when he hears a very familiar screech of fury from behind him. 

Turns around and Holy Shit it is Lady Villain, the one who’s always kicking the crap out of him (and vice versa) and he doesn’t actually know her name but they’ve ripped each other’s masks off plenty of times and they recognise each other and in perfect unison they look at the house, look at each other, and shout “You stay away from my family.” 

They’re seconds away from beating each other to a pulp on the lawn when Ex-Wife opens the door and is all ‘oh, great, you’re both here, have you introduced yourselves, come on in dinner’s almost ready’. 

Well, shit, they both mumble, and walk in because she’s WATCHING and they have to sit through dinner while Ex-Wife and the kids tell each of them all these cute stories about how great the other one is and how happy they are that they’re both here. 

It’s so, SO awkward, and they can’t entirely hide how awkward it is, but under the circumstances that’s not unreasonable and at the end of dinner they have to say a polite goodbye and the next day Lady Villain levels the local DMV just to get Superhero’s attention so they can have an even more awkward conversation about what they’re gonna do now. Neither of them is at all willing to exit Ex-Wife’s life, and it would break her heart, and the kid’s hearts, and Lady Villain is not actually dangerous to civilians, it’s the establishment and the rich she wants to bring down, so eventually they agree to just… uh… keep their two lives separate. This is our little secret. 

And it stays that way for months until Ex-Wife suggests that she and Lady Villain go on a double date with Superhero and Badass Girlfriend. Superhero and Lady Villain try all sorts of shenanigans to get out of this, including a bank-robbery, but eventually they’re both there at the restaurant having increasingly desperate awkward conversations because Lady Villain has abducted Badass Girlfriend like five times and she is def. going to figure this out if we give her time to think and that works right up until Lady Villain absently calls Ex-Wife ‘honey’ and they can both see the exact second that Badass Girlfriend recognizes  Lady Villain’s Sultry Flirty Voice and they’re both frantically trying to shush her without Ex-Wife noticing and Superhero has SO MUCH EXPLAINING TO DO WHEN THEY GET HOME.