Una verdad sin remedio

—Hoy no —declaró—. Probablemente tampoco mañana, pero quizás... Ayer lo fuimos todo.

Xiumin: You filmed a sageuk recently. What part of that was the hardest? You know I’m your senior when it comes to sageuks, right? D.O.: It was really hot this summer. We filmed outside often and the heat was a struggle. It was my first time wearing my hair in a topknot, and it tugged a lot. I felt awkward filming in a hanbok, too. But can I say something, Xiumin hyung? You might have filmed a sageuk before me, but I spent more time filming a sageuk. Hahaha.

Xiumin: Have you thought about growing your hair out? Shoulder-length! D.O.: Of course! I haven’t! Hahaha. Longer hair is more bother. I like having short hair. I’d rather have the comfort than look cool. 

Suho: It was hard for you to fly around for our overseas events. Are long-distance flights really hard for you? D.O.: Just like you said, being on a plane for long is a bit tough for me so I’m not exactly fond of long-distance flights. I think it’s because we fly too often. 

Suho: When were you happiest as a part of EXO? D.O.: EXO has made me happy through the years. I feel especially glad for us whenever we win an award because it feels like our hard work is recognized. But pride and happiness are different things. It’s when all the EXO members are healthy and close together, like we are now, that’s honestly what makes me happy. We find energy in each other and we’re growing together.

Baekhyun: What’s the hardest part of acting? D.O.: Trying to balance my schedule between singing and acting is the hardest part.

Baekhyun: How are your shoulders doing? D.O.: They’re weak and hurt sometimes, but it’s fine as long as I don’t overdo anything. It kind of hurts a lot if I make the wrong move, but I’m okay right now. 

Chanyeol: It feels like you’re always working; how come you never take a break? D.O.: I do want to take a break sometimes, but there’s a lot of joy and fun to find in work too. I think that’s why I’ve been working so much.

Chanyeol: I think we match the most. Do you think so too? D.O.: I think we match a lot too. Hahaha. It’s so easy to talk with you and that has to mean something, right?

Chen: D.O., you barely talk so I have no idea what you think about on a daily basis. What do you have on mind lately? D.O.: You’re more mysterious than I am, Chen! I think you’re the one who talks the least about himself of the EXO members, so how could you say that about me! But if I have to answer, my last concern was 100 Days My Prince. I was losing my mind trying to memorize all the lines. Now that it’s over, I kind of want to rest. I haven’t had a chance to take a proper break in the last four years. I’d like to travel with the EXO members if that’s possible. 

Chen: You sang For Life in English. Your English pronunciation is so good! Are you planning on singing any other songs in English? D.O.: Of course I’d like to try again. We have a lot of song demos that are in English. To be honest, I wanted to sing a different song than For Life for The Elyxion, but I gave up because there was no time to practice something else. I’d like to sing the English version of Light Out if there’s a chance to. 

Kai: The members touched your head a lot when you shaved your hair. How’d you feel about that? D.O.: I didn’t really feel anything. Seriously! It wasn’t bad at all. But not exactly good either! Haha.

Kai: You know about a lot of good places to eat. How did you find them? D.O.: The Blue Ribbon in Korea and the international Michelin Guide list restaurants that I check out when there’s the chance. Googling shows you the ratings and reviews of places too. I seek out the ones that look interesting and put together my own list. Filming lets me visit many places. Even if I can only have one meal that day, I want to enjoy the food. You know how much I like exploring new places to eat.

Sehun: When were you happy during The Elyxion? D.O.: When we were standing on stage. The first concert is important too, but there’s nothing like the feeling of returning to Seoul after touring for the encore show. The relief and pride I felt from closing our fourth tour made me happy. 

Sehun: I feel this fourth tour was your favorite. Do you think so? D.O.: Our concerts upgrade every year, so I can’t help that the latest tour ends up as my favorite. I think The Elyxion suited EXO a lot. The bar section was especially fun. None of it was scripted, and that’s what made it even more exciting.

Foto: Joanna Watala.

Había oído mucho esa frase a lo largo de mi vida, y lo cierto es que no la terminaba de entender del todo, me parecía una frase sin sentido al pensar que era imposible que una persona se despidiera de alguien a quien no quería perder.

Y es que, realmente me doy cuenta de que uno no entiende por completo algo, hasta que lo vive en carne propia, hasta que pasa por lo mismo y todo lo que parecía no tener sentido comienza a tenerlo.

Y te digo a ti, donde quiera que estés, que te digo adiós, aunque no quiero que te vayas, pero como lo he dicho ya antes, tampoco me diste indicios de querer quedarte.

Por qué, podemos querer mucho a una persona, hacer hasta lo imposible por ella, y que ni si quiera lo noté, que ni siquiera valore todo el esfuerzo que llegamos a poner para que todo sea distinto.

Hice lo que nunca había hecho por nadie , y me hiciste sentir que no fue suficiente, por lo que he decidido dejar de hacerlo, seguir mi camino y cerrar la página de esta historia, te digo adiós a ti, y me encaminó a escribir otra historia.