milk & honey

Two Worlds

A thousand ways to say, "I love you still,"

Yet not a single word escapes my will.

The words that once would leave my lips with ease

Now drown my heart and bring me to my knees.

I try to speak, but all I do is break,

Like fragile glass that trembles in a quake.

The thought of us is all it ever takes

To turn my calm into a thousand aches.

For I am not your world, nor you are mine,

Though once I thought our stars were meant to shine.

We were never meant to carry all we lacked,

Or build our hearts upon another's back.

I still care for you, I always will,

But caring and returning are different still.

For love should never ask a soul to bear

A weight so great it leaves no room for air.

One life is hard enough to understand,

Without trying to hold another's hand

So tightly that it loses all its grace

And slowly starts to suffocate in place.

Two hearts should walk beside, not intertwine

So deeply that they blur each other's line.

For love is not the loss of who you are,

But growing while remaining who you were.

My heart has mourned for far too many years,

Silently drowning underneath its tears.

And now at last the funeral bells ring clear,

For something died long before we got here.

I hope one day we'll both become aware

Of all the things we lost while standing there.

I hope we grow, and in that growth we find

The strength to leave old versions far behind.

So thank you for the love you chose to give,

For every reason that made me want to live.

Despite the hurt, despite the tears we knew,

Some of my sweetest memories came from you.

Perhaps we'll never meet again someday,

Perhaps we're only passing on our way.

But if our paths should cross beneath the skies,

I hope forgiveness shines within our eyes.

Forgiveness for the things we failed to see,

For all the ways we chained what should be free.

For not knowing how to love without fear,

And holding on long after love disappeared.

For sometimes love is not the choice to stay,

But knowing when to gently walk away.

Not because the feeling wasn't true—

But because we finally outgrew

The pain we called love,

The wounds we called fate,

And found the wisdom

Before it was too late.

A Dreadful Bond

I tried for weeks to find the words to say,

But every thought would slowly fade away.

My chest was full, my mind a crowded sea,

Too many storms were raging inside me.

We stood beneath the concert's shining light,

Pretending maybe we'd survive the night.

The music soared, the memories came through,

Yet every song confirmed I was done with you.

Not done with love, not done with what we knew,

But done with trying to become untrue.

I searched your eyes the way I used to do,

And found a stranger staring back in view.

How cruel it is when someone once adored

Becomes the very sight you can't afford.

How tragic that the warmth I used to seek

Now leaves my soul unsettled, tired, and weak.

That's when I knew the road had reached its end,

Though neither one of us could comprehend.

Because you would not leave, and I could see

The poison that was slowly poisoning thee.

I was the venom burning through your veins,

The thorn that bloomed from all our hidden pains.

A curse disguised as comfort and as care,

Destroying both our hearts while standing there.

I never wished to hurt you, not one day,

Yet somehow hurt became our only way.

Each missed apology, each promise dropped,

Each time you begged for change that never stopped.

Being with you taught me to despise

The weary reflection behind my eyes.

And hating me became hating you instead,

A cycle neither love nor hope could mend.

God knows I wanted kindness to remain,

To soothe your fears and shelter all your pain.

To tell you that I'd never leave your side,

To be your home, your comfort, and your guide.

But wanting is not always enough to stay,

And love alone can't wash the truth away.

For tolerance is not the same as love,

No matter how we try to cover up

I thought I helped by bending to your will,

By shrinking down and learning to stand still.

But every piece of me I chose to hide

Was one more piece of myself that slowly died.

You loved a version of me made for you,

A painted sky instead of something true.

And when the colors changed, you called it wrong,

Not knowing I'd been lost there all along.

You were the wall that blocked my view of me,

The cage I called protection willingly.

I would have stayed forever in that place,

If not for seeing what it did erase.

I hate the way we speak and carry on,

Like something living after it is gone.

I hate the routine messages we send,

Pretending there's a future at the end.

I care for you, I always think I will,

But care for us has long since fallen still.

Your feelings matter, every tear is true,

But this relationship is killing you.

And maybe me as well, though less each day,

Because I've already started walking away.

The saddest part is knowing from the start

Exactly where this road would tear apart.

The moment that you crossed the line I drew,

The moment "no" stopped meaning "no" to you,

I should have left, I should have walked away,

Instead I chose to convince myself to stay.

Once became twice, then countless times again,

A growing ache I buried deep within.

I lied and called it normal, called it fine,

While every warning sign screamed in my mind.

I thought that giving in would make it cease,

That sacrifice would somehow purchase peace.

Instead the boundaries weakened every day,

And little by little they washed away.

I chose your wants above what I believed,

And every compromise left me deceived.

I thought I could protect us both somehow,

But all those choices stand before me now.

And here we are—the harvest of our past,

The consequence that finally came at last.

Not lightning from above, not wrath divine,

But watching love decay a piece at a time.

I hate the way you take the hurt I give,

As though surviving me is how you live.

The less you fought, the more resentment grew,

Until I barely recognized you.

What crueler punishment could there ever be

Than becoming who I swore I'd never be?

The one who wounds the heart they used to hold,

The one whose touch has slowly turned to cold.

So let me end the suffering we've known,

Before the last good thing is overthrown.

Because no matter how we force and bend,

Some stories only heal when they can end.

The damage lingers deeper than we show,

And neither one of us knows how to grow.

We thought that growth meant never letting go,

But growth is sometimes choosing not to hold.

Perhaps one day when all this pain has passed,

When guilt no longer chains us to the past,

We'll look behind and finally understand

That love was real—but love alone could never help us heal.

It's not painful. You just let go, everything you once were, and then there's nothing. It's not darkness, no, sweetie. Darkness is a color. There's just... nothing…”

And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.”