When I said, I will love you forever,

I meant, I will love you until I stop loving you.

& then, I will leave gently.

whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder was right

but

distance will also make you think about her every time rain paints your window

it will make you pretend that your pillow is her warm body nestled into your curves

it will make her face glow in your mind every time a song mentions a kiss

(whether or not it’s a happy song)

it will make your friends grow inwardly tired of hearing the same story over and over because you haven’t been able to make new memories with her yet

it will make you learn how to tell the passage of time without a watch because youre always counting down months, days, hours, and minutes

it will make you more careful with your money because you need it all to see her and you want to take her out for so many dates to make up for the past few months

it will teach you your best selfie angles and your favourite filters because you send pictures to her every other day

it will show you how hard it is to understand tone and sarcasm over text - especially when you already struggle with that in real life

it will make you hold your own hand at night so you can imagine you’re falling asleep holding *her* hand

it will get you to spend hours curating the perfect long distance playlist for her, only to feel too embarrassed to actually share it

“l-o-v-e” will caress every thought and pierce you with its sharp pink edges, but you’ll wrap it up with blankets of “you’re so beautiful” and “I miss you” and “I had a dream about you” because you want her to hear those four letters before she reads them

you will notice everything wonderful about your home that never before crossed your mind, because you will imagine how wonderful and tiny she would look in front of the mountains

you will realize how much easier it is to just TALK about your day instead of typing it all out when your eyelids are being held down by the weight of exhaustion

you will worry that you’ve forgotten the sound of her voice until the next time you skype her, when you’ll realize that it’s impossible to forget your favourite music

you will see her face everywhere - in the sun that blinds you while you drive, in the forest that speaks to you as you tell children about how magical bees are, in the flames that laugh when you burn your third marshmallow, in the moon that lights your way when you forgot your flashlight, in the Perseids that you stayed up too late to watch, in the night sky that’s so clear, you can taste the milky way

it will be worth it when she meets you at the arrival gate with a smile that could melt the canadian tundra

it will be worth it with every kiss you share to make up for 344 days apart

it will be worth it when the pillow you imagined as her becomes the pillow you share with her

it will be worth it when her voice is pure and clear, no longer filtered through an internet connection

it will be worth it when you can listen to the playlist you never sent her while candles light up your room and you can both smell the rain hitting the pavement outside

it will be worth it when the moon light her lips between kisses

whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder was right

but

distance will also make you think about her every time rain paints your window

it will make you pretend that your pillow is her warm body nestled into your curves

it will make her face glow in your mind every time a song mentions a kiss

(whether or not it’s a happy song)

it will make your friends grow inwardly tired of hearing the same story over and over because you haven’t been able to make new memories with her yet

it will make you learn how to tell the passage of time without a watch because youre always counting down months, days, hours, and minutes

it will make you more careful with your money because you need it all to see her and you want to take her out for so many dates to make up for the past few months

it will teach you your best selfie angles and your favourite filters because you send pictures to her every other day

it will show you how hard it is to understand tone and sarcasm over text - especially when you already struggle with that in real life

it will make you hold your own hand at night so you can imagine you’re falling asleep holding *her* hand

it will get you to spend hours curating the perfect long distance playlist for her, only to feel too embarrassed to actually share it

“l-o-v-e” will caress every thought and pierce you with its sharp pink edges, but you’ll wrap it up with blankets of “you’re so beautiful” and “I miss you” and “I had a dream about you” because you want her to hear those four letters before she reads them

you will notice everything wonderful about your home that never before crossed your mind, because you will imagine how wonderful and tiny she would look in front of the mountains

you will realize how much easier it is to just TALK about your day instead of typing it all out when your eyelids are being held down by the weight of exhaustion

you will worry that you’ve forgotten the sound of her voice until the next time you skype her, when you’ll realize that it’s impossible to forget your favourite music

you will see her face everywhere - in the sun that blinds you while you drive, in the forest that speaks to you as you tell children about how magical bees are, in the flames that laugh when you burn your third marshmallow, in the moon that lights your way when you forgot your flashlight, in the Perseids that you stayed up too late to watch, in the night sky that’s so clear, you can taste the milky way

it will be worth it when she meets you at the arrival gate with a smile that could melt the canadian tundra

it will be worth it with every kiss you share to make up for 344 days apart

it will be worth it when the pillow you imagined as her becomes the pillow you share with her

it will be worth it when her voice is pure and clear, no longer filtered through an internet connection

it will be worth it when you can listen to the playlist you never sent her while candles light up your room and you can both smell the rain hitting the pavement outside

it will be worth it when the moon light her lips between kisses