My ball python, Harker, is really scared of this one stapler.

Every time he sees it, he balls up.

I was grading today and sure enough, the stapler was still scary.

However, for the first time, I introduced a second stapler!

He was nervous at first… 

But it didn’t take him long to warm up to it.

Pretty soon it became his best friend!

There was nothing the new stapler couldn’t do!

Including protecting him from the other stapler.

The moral of the story?

He was fairly apathetic at first, but eventually they got on pretty well!

This stapler was smaller than either of the others, but one thing was sure: this stapler was definitely not scary!

Am I any closer to understanding my snake’s strange relationship with staplers?

an interviewer asks brendon urie a question about ryan ross. brendon’s smile falters and he avoids the question. the next day, the interviewer is gone. all copies of the interview have disappeared. you cannot recall the face or the name of the interviewer.

whenever pete wentz looks into a mirror, he sees himself as he was in 2007, with his emo fringe and eyeliner. whenever patrick stump looks into a mirror, he sees himself with his old sideburns. there are no mirrors on their tour bus.

gerard way summons a demon on stage. no one notices.

you are listening to from under the cork tree. there is a song you do not recognize. you look in the liner notes. the song’s title is 78 words long.

at any given moment, josh dun is both a member of twenty one pilots and kicked out of it. he is schrödinger’s drummer. even he does not know the truth.

patrick agrees to let pete take off his hat. underneath there is a smaller hat and another one under that. eventually there is just a large pile of hats.

you find an unnamed mp3 on panic! at the disco’s website. when you play it, you find it is a clip of shrieking and sobbing. someone asks brendon urie about it. “oh, that’s one of the songs from the cabin album,” he says.

gerard way’s twitter makes less and less sense each day. you don’t recognize the language his tweets are in. nobody does.

you go to a panic! at the disco concert in the year 2050. brendon urie is still the only original member left. in fact, he is the only official member left. the touring musicians are just shadowy figures at their instruments. brendon looks exactly the same as he did in 2013.

it is the year 3015. ryan ross’s instagram is still updating.

pete wentz’s hair changes color every time you look at him. he speaks entirely in emoji.

This is their cat. Her name is Pooface.

This is the three of them photoshopped into a land of dinosaurs and laser beams.

And here is a rather large oil painting that I commissioned from an artist for their wedding gift. It took him a month.