Ah! Sorry for this, but can you explain what the poem Ishida made means? (The tumblr post he wrote which you recently reblogged), I'm not quite perceptive enough to understand the meaning and it makes me sad because I is a beautiful poem on its own :)
Sorry for the late reply anon! I havenāt had the time or the mindset to carefully go through this poem until today, so hopefully this will make up for my tardiness;; (btw for anyone who doesnāt know what Iām talking about, Ishidaās poem is found here, and the translation here.
The poem mostly talks about Kaneki and the revelations revealed in chapter 53, such as his suicidal thoughts and his abusive past. Iāll go through the poem in four parts, and Iāll save theĀ āI had a dreamā lines and the title of the poem, āThe Sky Fallsā for last.
I had a dream where the sky fell down.
The bloodstains wonāt come out, no matter how many times I pour warm water on them, they wonāt come out.
Only words begin to dissolve everything, and get stuck in the drain.
And you become unable to forgive yourself, unforgiving.
The first four lines of the poem are about Kaneki and how he coped with his painful past. TheĀ ābloodstainsā are his painful memories (from his abuse and whatever else that we might not know of), and even though he tries to get rid of them byĀ āpour[ing] warm water on themā, it doesnāt erase his pain. He ends up coping through some of the pain throughĀ āwordsā, whether that be through books or the lies he tells himself (like saying that his mother was a very kind person), but even that doesnāt completely get rid of it, as itĀ āget[s] stuck in the drainā and refuses to leave. And because he only gets rid of the pain superficially by suppressing them, Kaneki is unable to move on from his past and dwells in it instead, which leads to his twisted belief that love is pain and that he would be better off dead than alive.
I had a dream.
A failure of a God
She laughed and squeezed my throat.
Itās always like this.
Only people dull to pain hurt me.
She truly loved me,
Only she didnāt know how to love.
What a stupid God.
Iām not entirely sure about these lines, so feel free to comment on this interpretation and come up with your own!
From the mention of a God, it seems like itās Eto thatās being mentioned in this poem. But there would be no reason for Eto toĀ ātruly loveā Kaneki, so I thought that theĀ āsheā was referring to Kanekiās mom, who probably loves her son (āShe truly loved meā) but coped with her stress by abusing her own son (āShe laughed and squeezed my throatā, āOnly she didnāt know how to loveā). To Kaneki, whose main and important person in his life was his mother, she must have been like a God to him, but that image was shattered by the abuse, calling herĀ āa failure of a Godā andĀ āa stupid Godā.
Another thing to mention is that Kaneki is used to the abuse and being beaten, asĀ āItās always like thisā, which might refer to both how his mom is always like this, and how he is treated by other people as well, such as his aunt, and even his ghoul friends when they first meet. Also, it seems that people who have already been in lots of pain and are used to it (ādull to painā) such as his mom, are able to truly hurt Kaneki.
My nerves grow strangely and pierce through my skin.
All at once they sing out.
Far away, someone laughs. Soon, itās not even my voice any more.
My brain becomes transparent, and thereās nothing I canāt see.
On knowing the things you didnāt know, you die.
This set of lines refers to V14 fight with Arima. The first two lines refer to his kagune, and specifically to this scene here in chapter 139:
where all his kagune are released,Ā āsing[ing] outā (this specific wording emphasizes the beauty, however horrific, of this scene). Kaneki starts losing his mind after being stabbed in the eye by Arima. The third line is really similar to a quote from chapter 61:
but theĀ āfar away, someone laughsā line can also refer to this in chapter 140 before Kaneki loses consciousness:
My brain becomes transparent, and thereās nothing I canāt see.
On knowing the things you didnāt know, you die.
I copied these two lines again since itās hard to scroll back and forth. So anyways, this refers to the entirety of chapter 140, where Kaneki becomes aware of his mistakes, his thoughts completely ātransparentā and free of repression, and once he realizes it, heĀ ādiesā.
I had a dream where the sky fell.
A checkerboard sky.
Squashed by it, I died.
Yes, I wished for that.
These lines refer to another scene in chapter 140 again:
Checkerboards in Tokyo Ghoul have been associated with manipulation (for example, Uta has been associated with the checkerboard pattern multiple times), so one interpretation of this is that KanekiĀ ādiedā partly to being manipulated by others around him (for example, he wouldnāt have become a half-ghoul if it wasnāt for Souta who dropped the steel beams on Rize). Kaneki would have been fine with it, because he would have been ādeadā, which is what he wanted all along, butĀ āYes, I wished for thatā means that his death didnāt occur, which is shown by him returning as Sasaki Haise.
I skipped theĀ āI had a dreamā lines to discuss at the end. The dream aspect, which was also mentioned in chapter 53 many times, is about what is inside Kanekiās mind. He dreams to pretend that he isnāt completely broken, and that his mother truly loves him. He dreams that he wants to die because he believes everyone would be better off without him, and that this act would show his love for them.
What about theĀ āsky fallingā? Itās obviously very important, sinceĀ āThe Sky Fallsā is the title of the poem. This one is definitely up for lots of interpretation, but the main one for me is extreme hardship and destruction due to reality, where youāre so drowned in your sorrows that it feels like the sky, the weight of the earth is going to collapse on top of you.
The sky is falling when Kaneki copes with his painful memories, and when heĀ ādiesā by Arimaās hand after realizing his mistakes. Both greatly challenge his sense of reality, but the difference is the result, where in the former Kaneki lives on by avoiding his past, whereas in the latter Kaneki is able to be reborn and use his second chance wisely.
So ultimately this poem is about Kanekiās mindset up until heĀ ādiedā as Kaneki Ken. Ishida is seriously amazingā¦
Anyways, feel free to send me any other interpretations you have for this poem!
