Your Loving Monster...

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Looks home done, like you know, buzzed it in the bathroom mirror with a pair of clippers, which is exactly what I’m rocking too, so I say yeah, looks great because I think it does.  And the next thing this kid does is say with chin stuck in the air, “I’m trans, you know.”  And I can see the look on his face, expecting the adult to challenge, push back, or scoff, or maybe just blink ignorantly and say “what’s that?” I smile and say, “cool, brother, same hat.”  And my god the way his face lit up.  Absolutely beaming.  We fist bumped and he started chattering at me full tilt, not even about anything to do with gender but just talking.  Because in that moment he was safe to be himself.  Since then he’s got a full wardrobe change and a binder so I very much hope his mom is also being supportive, but he still likes to pop by just to chat about whatever.

I just had the most incredible experience in front of my apartment building and I have to share it.

There’s a little old man who walks up and down the street and says hi if we’re out there smoking cigarettes. I was outside smoking and he was walking past and said “good afternoon young lady!”

And normally I’d probably be too scared to correct a stranger but he’d said hi before.

No I said “actually I’m not a young lady, I’m a man” and immediately got nervous and try to explain my high voice and, uh, tiddy. “I have a condition.”

And this little old man goes “oh are you transgender?” And having painted myself into a corner I say yes.

“Me too,” he says

And I realize this little old man is shorter than me. And he’s got suspenders and a cute hat (hello call-out post for my fashion sense). And he’s smiling so warmly.

I am meeting a trans man elder and I don’t even have a good bowtie on!! WTF Kivan!

And he called me brother and said he was honored to meet me and hugged me and just after everything with my dad I can’t even begin to put into words how much I needed to see a little old man I could grow to be.

I’m actually crying right now because I just really really need that.