Salamander

it's such a sadness to me that kids eventually lose that 'no filter' thing when they grow up. my niece asked what 9/11 is and someone explained it to her and her unfiltered conclusion was "bro. is that it"

I’ve been told my entire life not to take showers or baths during thunderstorms because lightening can travel through the plumbing and you know what? I don’t care anymore. If God decides to kill me in that ridiculous manner, it’ll be a hell of a way to go. Going to take the risk. Fuck it.

nonbinary cats >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<>>

“We could’ve built this place in seventy two hours, but human rights violations kept us from completely treating these people like animals in a zoo.”

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

I know they're named after him but for reasons I can't fully articulate it's hilarious that the guy who invented zeppelins was named Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin literally sounds like the joke name someone would make up if they didn't know the actual answer

whispering my problems to the 1x1x1 cube hoping the solved state area of effect will fix them