Connor Storrie for Cultured Magazine
Claire Keane

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@yourfavouritewineaunt
Connor Storrie for Cultured Magazine

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Post TLG, Shane has a rare completely off night. He was awful and he knows it. When they get back to the locker room after the loss, Shane goes to apologize to the team. Before he can start, the team just pushes him out of the way and surrounds Ilya. They’re like “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? What’s your problem?” and Ilya is so confused as to why they’re upset with him because he played well despite losing. Someone is like “Cap, it’s your job to put out and you clearly haven’t been and that’s why Shane is playing like shit, so why are you not giving it up?”. Someone else explains that they figured out a while ago that Shane plays like a God when he’s getting laid regularly, and goes back to being a normal human when not, so they need to know why Ilya isn’t bending over and giving it up. They start assuming that something is medically wrong and Bood is like “Well if Ilya can’t take it then someone on the team has to step up” and Luca is immediately like “I’ll let Shane fuck me…I mean for the sake of team and everything…if I must…I’m not actually eager or anything…like I haven’t thought about this at all…ever!” Ilya starts yelling at the team, telling them that everything is fine, but they yell back and now everyone is arguing. Meanwhile, Shane is very amused by the fact that the team thinks he’s the top.
The thing about Shane is that the WOULD NOT kill himself. Ilya always kinda has it in the back of his mind. He's been passively suicidal since he was a preteen and, forgive me for saying so, pretty actively suicidal at several points as well. Ilya Rozanov does not expect or really even WANT to make it to thirty. Ilya lives his life under the assumption that he will someday wrap his car around a tree or catch a skate wrong and bleed out on national television or maybe, honestly, just go missing. Take himself out somewhere like a sick dog and nobody will care enough to find him (they will) or at the very least the tragedy of his early demise will be overshadowed by the relief felt when everyone realizes that They Don't Have To Deal With Him Anymore (He is wrong)
So that's the tragedy of Ilya Rozanov. The tragedy of Shane Hollander is that he will give completely up and then just keep going. Failure is not an option and he needs to keep performing at the highest level possible for as long as possible but everything else will be gone. Any sort of light or warmth extinguished. Deprivation will become its own reward. He will become so scared of his own wants that he starts actively avoiding things that bring him even some modicum of pleasure--and yes, this would be self harm. He starts to associate the pain of longing with success. Family is his only reprieve, and even then he rations it out. He holds all of his ache and his longing and his need in a fist in his chest and sometimes when his mom hugs him too tight or his dad rubs his shoulders it starts to dislodge and that's dangerous. He can't let himself have that.
Shane would not be Scott Hunter, hooking up with men in Europe on the down-low every summer just to fill that gaping maw of absent affection and connection in some small way. He would not be Ilya Rozanov, making bad decision after bad decision and waiting for one of them to catch up with him in a way that finally shoves him off the coil, one way or another. He would ignore and deprive the soft animal of his body until it became something dark and cold and barren and he would feel accomplished when it finally stopped whimpering and just laid down to die. And then he would keep going.
@lavenderprose OP your tags though 😭

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Honestly, I feel like Oliver Tree’s music is really Ilya coded. Sounds silly and unserious as all hell but then you listen to the lyrics and it is the most romantic melancholy sincere shit you’ve ever heard.
Case in point:
I'll love you 'til I don't exist here anymore
You're what I'm looking for
We can make it work for sure
I'll love you 'til I don't exist here anymore
You're my one and only
i think we’ve been neglecting the concept of pop girl heated rivalry
CW: CSA Jacob Tierney and Ilana Glazer discuss the ways male child actors can be sexualized, and how this creates (unfortunate) kinship with women
It's Open With Ilana Glazer
Shane Hollander Appreciation Week ↳ Day 1: Favourite moment
Nnghhh he’s so down bad I love it
Shane Hollander: Ilya, I know you don’t respect French, but please don’t pronounce ‘hors d'oeuvres’ as ‘horse divorce’ again.

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Dramatic russian millenial songs Ilya definitely flounced around to during the Rose Landry era
I've been stewing on some controversial Hollanova headcanons and I have to unleash them to become sane again, even though I am scared the world is not ready. So I'm dipping my toes in with Lilya:
The thing is, I had a Very Russian girl bff in that time period. So I know in my heart of hearts, that Lilya would not be dressing butch like I see in most fanart. If you asked her she would say that she'd actually rather die. Bc being perceived as unfeminine would be worse than death.
Ilya is very much religiously following slavic male fashion trends of the time and trying to project this macho hypermasculine image that his culture expects of him (even though it isn't his true nature), so vice versa, season 1 Lilya would not be caught dead in comfy or unfeminine clothes.
She'd actually be wearing those tacky cut up Ed Hardy tops that show lots of skin (do people remember those?) and skinny jeans she can just barely squeeze into.
She'd wear stiletto heels out shopping, in the club and even on the way to the gym, and if there's blood running down her heels every day that's just a thing you have to deal with to serve *shrug*
She's definitely highlighting her hair and I am sad to report there is quite a high likelihood she is straightening her curls :/ (moment of silence please).
She'd be worried that Jane wouldn't find her hot anymore if she shows up to a hotel night without makeup on or in non-form fitting clothes, cause she thinks it's that hyperfeminine image she projects that Jane is actually attracted to - Jane doesn't KNOW the side of her that is lazy and would like to just not put in the effort. (Jane goes absolutely feral though, when she finally gets to see Lilya without ANY makeup whatsoever for the first time, at the cottage.)
I think she'd be settled in Canada for a while by the time she allows herself to actually be seen out wearing flat shoes in a non sports setting by anyone other than Jane and it would feel really vulnurable and weird for a while.
So yeah. To me, anyway.
So pike is a type of fish.
Pike in russian is shuka [schOOkah].
Baby pikes are shuchata [schoochAtah].
Ilya calls Hayden’s kids schuchata
“Hello, my little shuchata, uncle Ilya is here and he will kick your ass at Mario Kart”
“Ey, Shane, you think shuchata would like slip and slide for summer party?”
“Remember when the shuchata clocked our tea and married us?”
Bonus: When he does bedtime he tells the shuchata a Russian fairy tale about a magical pike that grants wishes.
Alexandra Kuzyk has been sentenced to 18 months in a Russian labor camp for “illegal pornography.”
this is the source article, if anyone was wondering. (here’s an archived version if you hit a paywall)
Small correction because the article doesn't phrase it very well and then it's misrepresented everywhere: it wasn't her own mother who turned her in. A book of her fanfiction was printed on paper (probably for bookbinding, idk), some underage girl's mother found it and turned it to the police. Then they found the writer somehow, raided her home etc.
I'm afraid that for the purity culture crowd, it makes it worse, but it isn't, people are allowed to read whatever they want. I don't know if there was explicit material in the stories/book because in Russia, any form of homosexuality mentioned is "propaganda", but it shouldn't matter either.
I'm also incredibly angry at people clowning on twitter about Stray Kids fans deserving it, or RPS shippers deserving to be put in prison.

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Снегурочка / The Snow Maiden (1952) dir. Ivan Ivanov-Vano
Little Ilya at his preschool New Years Eve concert, dressed as a bunny ofc.
For those of us who didnt live through this:
NYE is Russias Christmas. Religion and religious celebrations were banned by the communists but the people still wanted a winter party so here we are. Its a BIG DEAL.
In the run up to the holidays kindergartens and schools across the land will stage a big concert/party type thing in which the kids will dress up and perform various things, call for the tree lights to come on, and then someone dressed up as Grandfather Frost (our Santa Claus) and his granddaughter will show up and give the kids gifts. Its all very magical n wholesome.
The classic thing for little boys to dress up as bunnies and for girls to be snowflakes. Ask any Russian and they will have at least one photograph of them dressed up in a costume (or at least formal wear), standing in front of the tree clutching a toy, giving a tiny little baby Slavic stare (it is genetic btw. Both my kids have it and they’re only half slavic)
So I can totally imagine Ilya having gone through this, and hopefully having very pleasant memories of seeing his mama in the crowd as he performed and showing off a little for her.