Here for those gay hockey fellas

So that's the tragedy of Ilya Rozanov. The tragedy of Shane Hollander is that he will give completely up and then just keep going. Failure is not an option and he needs to keep performing at the highest level possible for as long as possible but everything else will be gone. Any sort of light or warmth extinguished. Deprivation will become its own reward. He will become so scared of his own wants that he starts actively avoiding things that bring him even some modicum of pleasure--and yes, this would be self harm. He starts to associate the pain of longing with success. Family is his only reprieve, and even then he rations it out. He holds all of his ache and his longing and his need in a fist in his chest and sometimes when his mom hugs him too tight or his dad rubs his shoulders it starts to dislodge and that's dangerous. He can't let himself have that.

CW: CSA Jacob Tierney and Ilana Glazer discuss the ways male child actors can be sexualized, and how this creates (unfortunate) kinship with women

The thing is, I had a Very Russian girl bff in that time period. So I know in my heart of hearts, that Lilya would not be dressing butch like I see in most fanart. If you asked her she would say that she'd actually rather die. Bc being perceived as unfeminine would be worse than death.

Ilya is very much religiously following slavic male fashion trends of the time and trying to project this macho hypermasculine image that his culture expects of him (even though it isn't his true nature), so vice versa, season 1 Lilya would not be caught dead in comfy or unfeminine clothes.

She'd actually be wearing those tacky cut up Ed Hardy tops that show lots of skin (do people remember those?) and skinny jeans she can just barely squeeze into.

She'd wear stiletto heels out shopping, in the club and even on the way to the gym, and if there's blood running down her heels every day that's just a thing you have to deal with to serve *shrug*

She's definitely highlighting her hair and I am sad to report there is quite a high likelihood she is straightening her curls :/ (moment of silence please).

She'd be worried that Jane wouldn't find her hot anymore if she shows up to a hotel night without makeup on or in non-form fitting clothes, cause she thinks it's that hyperfeminine image she projects that Jane is actually attracted to - Jane doesn't KNOW the side of her that is lazy and would like to just not put in the effort. (Jane goes absolutely feral though, when she finally gets to see Lilya without ANY makeup whatsoever for the first time, at the cottage.)

I think she'd be settled in Canada for a while by the time she allows herself to actually be seen out wearing flat shoes in a non sports setting by anyone other than Jane and it would feel really vulnurable and weird for a while.

I'm afraid that for the purity culture crowd, it makes it worse, but it isn't, people are allowed to read whatever they want. I don't know if there was explicit material in the stories/book because in Russia, any form of homosexuality mentioned is "propaganda", but it shouldn't matter either.