my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.
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I've seen this clip many times, but never really appreciated the power of "what was her problem?" Just casually assuming that lesbians come in a wide variety of shapes and being inclusive. As a transbian who is probably still closer to Homer shaped than to my ideal, that's huge!
every now and then i remember how funny the lego batman Dick Grayson adoption story was. like, Dick was just a fanboy in an orphanage who decided it would be cool if Bruce Wayne was his dad, so when he met Bruce he straight up just asked if Bruce would adopt him, and Bruce wasn't listening to a word this kid was saying because he was distracted, so he just assumed Dick wanted an autograph and signed the adoption documents in Dick's hands, and then he just got in his car and drove off. Alfred had to be the one to go back and get him, just sighing as he opened the car door like 'well, i guess it's legal now, you better get in'. like that's gotta be top ten funniest fucking ways for Bruce to adopt a kid. i think that method should be used more, and i personally think it should be used by Tim.
like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.
Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.
Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.
he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.
it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.
Tim goes home to pack his bags and then smugly shows up at Wayne Manor the next day, where Jason lets him in and shows him to one of the empty bedrooms. Alfred spots them and stops for a minute, wondering if this is something he should be involved in. then the kettle goes off and he figures it's not his problem. Bruce does not clock that there is another person unpacking and starting to live in his house until Tim sits next to him at the dinner table and no-shame starts referring to him as dad while Jason gives him the most shit-eating grin imaginable.
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long ass car trips are alot like the modern day whaling voyage if you think about it. I think itd really be improved if the passenger seat could launch harpoons at passing pickup trucks though
Tim, sighing: no, i’m not allowed to have friends over when Bruce has been drinking alcohol, and he had a couple glasses of wine with brunch.
Damian, confused: since when is that a rule?
Tim: he enforced it last month, after he got drunk with Dick and Kon came round.
Damian: why… what happened?
Tim: he saw Kon walk onto the property without knocking, you know, like usual, and then he burst into tears and screamed ‘EVERYBODY TELLS ME I’M NOT GOOD AT HAVING KIDS BUT EVERYBODY KEEPS GIVING ME MORE KIDS!’
Damian: …geez.
Tim: yeah. Jason laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Tim threw his hands up in the air. “You don’t even know why we’re here!”
“Whatever it is can’t be good.” Jason stalked forward until he was toe to toe with Tim. The red helmet was angled down in a way that made it look like it was glaring. Cass loved how expressive Jason could be with it. “I didn’t invite you into my territory. Go home.”
Arms crossed, Tim jutted his chin up defiantly. “We’re not vampires, we don’t need an invite.”
“Boys, boys! You’re both pretty!” Steph said as she tried push herself between them before a fight started.
Tim sputtered and rocked back slightly from Steph’s efforts to separate them. “Pretty?”
“What? You’re a hundred p pretty and Red Hood’s got them thighs,” Steph defended herself. “Shut up, I’m only human, I’m allowed to look!”
Cass laughed silently as Jason’s shoulders slumped in weary defeat. Steph’s shoulder was really digging into him now as she tried unsuccessfully to get either of the boys to move.
“What the fuck do you three want?”
“Danny,” Cass chirped.
“What?”
“Danny,” Cass repeated.
“Okay, yeah,” Jason scoffed, “so repeating what I said at the start of all this, no.”
Cass would have pouted if she wasn’t wearing her mask; pouting usually worked on Jason. She would have to try using her words instead. “You like Red more than me?”
“Him?” Jason asked, incredulously, as he motioned around Steph to Tim.
“Hey!” Tim snapped and finally took a step back. He could pout.
“What? Fuck,” Jason cussed. “No, I mean. It’s her, I don’t like any sibling more than her. Don’t look at me like that, she’s your favorite too!”
Tim sighed, though he was still pouting a little. “Of course she is. She’s everyone’s favorite. Except maybe the brat, I mean, but does he really count?”
“No,” Cass said serenely. Besides, she would win Damian over yet. He just didn’t understand it was alright to care that way for people and show it yet.
“See all good here. So I’m going to—”
“Red met Danny. If I am your favorite I should too.”
Jason just stared at her. His eyes may have been unreadable, but she could tell the moment she had won by how his body shifted. “I hate you.”
“You love me,” she said confidently.
“So much hate,” Jason grumbled before turning his back to them and leaping over to the next building.
The rest of them followed loyally along as Jason lead them through Crime Alley and to a dinner.”
“Jenny,” he rasped as they entered.
“Hood,” she said back and nodded with her head. “You boy is in the back. You might want to see if you can get him to lay off on the coffee.”
Jason gave a sigh at that, Jenny didn’t react at all to the way the helmet made the noise threatening or the rest of them following after Red Hood to the back booth where a mop of black hair was bowed down over the table covered in books, paper, and a battered laptop that glowed faintly grew under the keys.
“Danny,” Jason said, motioning to the guy in the booth.
He didn’t look much like Tim had described him, dressed in a light, long sleeve shirt over a tank top.
“Hum?”
“Guests,” Jason said and settled into the booth. He ran his hand through Danny’s hair and the other just leaned into the motion with a pleased nice.
“Guests?” Danny asked, finally looking up. “Oh, Bats! Hi.”
Cass waved back.
“Red you’ve met. Spoiler, don’t trust her, and Black Bat,” Jason said. “They wanted to meet you.”
Danny gave them a smile from over the lip of his coffee cup. “Little ‘ol me?”
Jason snorted and reached to take the coffee away. “Don’t act innocent.”
“My coffee…”
“Jenny tattled on you. I’ll get you a milk shake instead. When did you eat?”
‘See?’ Tim mouthed at Steph and Cass.
“I ate! I ate lunch when I got here.”
“Danny, it’s dark out,” Jason said, sounded so worn down.
“I’ve been studying?” Danny said, innocently, and made another grab for his coffee.
Jason just scoffed and handed Tim the coffee as he got back out of the booth. “Drink this before he can and sit down. I’m getting menus.”
“Sweet, I’m going to get waffles!” Steph said as she slid into the booth. Cass nudged Tim to slide in after her.
Danny eyed the coffee cup. “If I promise to drink it before he can see will you give me that back?”
“Oh my god, there are two of you,” Steph grumbled. She grabbed the cup out of Tim’s hand and chugged it. “There, solved.”
“Hood is right, I shouldn’t trust you,” Danny said with a pout.
It was a very good pout. Cass bet it got Danny his way a lot.
---
AN: This could/should have been longer but I wanted to get you all something this week and it is A) hell week and B) I am not doing Great™️(almost fell down last time I got up, which wasn't great as I was above the basement stairs but hey, we're ooooookay). Anyways, enjoy some Cass POV and more Bats meeting Danny!
I no longer tag, you can subscribe to the masterpost!
Merry xmas, have a tiny little, slightly spice bit I didn't write of the boys:
masterpost
Hood glanced up from his work when his door opened. It was Danny, dressed with what was clearly Nickie’s influence. The skin tight, black pants had a slight shimmer to them, which was picked up by the red, glitter covered symbol on the too large black tee-shirt.
“Dangerous walking around in that,” Hood rumbled.
Danny hummed as he closed and locked the door behind him. (And damn if his ass didn’t look good in those pants.) “I’m not afraid of walking around in your mark, Hood, not in your territory.”
“Makes you a target.”
“Makes me yours,” Danny said. He pushed himself up onto the desk and leaned back. “I like being yours.”
“And Jason’s, apparently.”
Danny’s answering grin felt dangerous in the best ways, he tilted his head back, as if to show off the faint marks around his neck that the collar had left. “And Jason’s. Of course Jason’s too. He makes me want to be good for him.”
Hood snorted as he finally gave in to abandoning his work. He leaned back and let himself just take in the sight of Danny perched so carefully on the desk. For the mess that Danny often was around Jason, he always seemed so aware of himself when in the presence of Red Hood. Hood wondered if it was like recognizing dangerous like.
“Good for him?”
“Hum.”
“And what do I make you want to be?”
“Appreciative.”
Appreciative. Hood tilted his head. That was a new one.
“I want,” Danny started. He uncrossed his legs so that there was on resting on either arm of Hood’s chair, “to to worship you. To take you apart piece by piece and marvel at what makes you up. To shower you with my attention. To show you how precious you are.”
WC: 1284, Masterpost
CW: visit to a leath kink shop, mentions of sex work
Paulina held up her hand, looking at her freshly painted nails. “You, Nickie, are a goddess and an artist.”
“I know,” Nickie said smugly.
“Like, seriously, you could make bank,” Paulina said. She pulled out her cellphone to snap a photo. The crystals in the center of the flowers that frame the sugar skull flashed beautifully.
Nickie gave a little shrug. The muscle tank she worn slipped off her tan shoulder, revealing more of the over the top, bright red bra. “Considering it for after. Right now sex pays well, I got the body for it—”
“Hell yeah you do,” Paulina agreed.
“—and it let’s me look after my girls. But I might be putting money aside for a shop front, yeah.”
“When you open I will let anyone I know in the area to come to you,” Paulina said. “And come myself if I’m still haunting Metropolis. Got to visit my boo Danny.”
“Someone has to come keep him in line.”
“Hey!” Danny protested from where he was carefully painting Han’s nails a blinding magenta. He did just fine with himself these days.
“He’s mixed up with a bad crowed,” Nickie continued, completely ignoring Danny, “just like Han here.”
“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Han protested meekly.
Paulina flipped her hair. “Who do you think helped him get his bad crowd? Danny can’t dress himself worth shit.”
“I know,” Nickie said with a sigh. “I remember what he was wearing when he moved in.”
“Again- hey!”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t love your new gets.”
“That is true, I look amazing,” Danny said. He struck a pose as best as he could while sitting at a coffee table with nail polish in hand. He felt his bootleg Red Hood crop top ride up with the act, exposing a sliver of skin between it and his black joggers. “But I hate you for getting me hooked on lululemon, it’s stupidly pricey.”
“Good thing you have two sugar daddies then, ain’t it honey,” Nickie pointed out.
“Blessed life,” Danny said, finishing off the magenta polish with a flourish. He capped it before he started with the other hand to carefully remove the tape. His tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth as he focused.
“You should get them something nice.”
Danny snorted. “What, with their own money?”
“Sure,” Nickie said, starting to clean up. “Doesn’t matter who’s dough bought it if it’s good fun for everyone.”
Danny paused in his work of revealing the highlighter yellow polish under the tape to look over to Nickie. “What? I don’t— ooh.”
Paulina just laughed at him, of course. Even Han chuckled which was frankly a little insulting.
Danny cleared his throat. “I, um, do you think they’d… like that?”
“Honey, I’ve seen how they are with you. Doesn’t have to be nothing cray either. You can start simple, just a little accessory.”
“Huh.”
“I, uh,” Han said, nervously, drawing everyone’s attention. “I know a place?”
At least Danny was able to follow how they ended up standing in a leather centric kink shop, even if it felt like a bizarre turn for his life to take. He looked at the harness wearing mannequin he was standing in front of and tilted his head.
“Who has the patience to get into that?”
“Well,” drawled the shopkeep who had appeared next to Danny so suddenly he was half tempted to think the other was a ghost, “for some people, getting their partner into the harness is half of the fun. The obedience, the touches, the control… the denial.”
Danny swallowed heavily. Huh.
“Hello my darling, bring in some friends?” the shopkeep asked and swanned over to kiss a blushing Han.
“I’m not sure what they are,” Han said with a weary sigh. They let the other pick up their hand and examine their bright nails. “But Danny here was thinking of picking up something on the… introductory side to treat his boyfriends with.”
“Oh well we can certainly help with that. I’m Liam, Han’s boyfriend,” the shopkeep said, holding out his hand.
Danny shook the hand. “Danny, like Han said.”
“He’s dating the Boss and the Boss’ boy,” Han explained.
“They’re his sugar daddies,” Paulina pipped in.
“And damn adorable,” Nickie said.
Danny released Liam’s hand to bury his face in his hands. “I hate you all.”
“No you don’t,” Paulina said. “Now, what do you have in mind for the blushing boy, Liam?”
“Well that’s something for him and I to talk about,” Liam said. He put an arm around Danny’s shoulder (though was really barely touching him) and guided him away. Over his shoulder he called, “Show them around, Han!”
When they had space and a tall display between them and the other’s, Liam stopped. “Now, best way for me to get you something good is for you to be honest with me. I promise, nothing you say to me is going to be something I haven’t heard before. I’m not going to judge you. You and your boys ever done anything like this before?”
Danny shook his head.
“So you’ve had sex but it’s been mostly vanilla?”
“Yep,” Danny said, the word coming out as a strangled squeak. He cleared his throat. “I mean, Red Hood keeps his helmet on so that’s not really… usual. We haven’t done much, in any combo.”
“But you like this idea?” Liam asked, motioning around them, “Or did they just bully you into coming? Because if that’s the case I can find you something cheap to buy you won’t feel bad about throwing away or you can come back and return it in a few days provided you keep it in it’s packaging.”
“I, um,” Danny picked at the edge of his hoodie as he glanced around the store from under his bangs. What Liam had said about the harness came back to mind. “Sometimes, like, not in bed, Jason will tell me to ‘stay’. And, um…”
“That does things for you.”
Danny nodded, feeling mortified.
“Not that odd at all. Now, there are a few ways we could go,” Liam said and started walking again. “Handcuffs and restraints are one way. Or rope, it’s an art form so one of your boys would have to be interested in learning, but it can be something special. Or, I think maybe for you… this is where we should start.”
They had stopped in front of a display of collars and leashes. There were more types than Danny could have ever dreampt up. There was leather of all colors and patterns. There were plain black and brown collars and bright colors with poppy cutouts and rich jewel tones with detailed filigree and earth tones with geometrics. They were lined with suede and velvet and fur. Danny itched to reach out and touch them.
“Yes, I do think we’re in the right area. Go ahead, you can touch. If nothing here works for you, you could always custom order something instead.”
Danny reached out and ran his fingers over one of the collars, thinking. If this was Red Hood, Danny would have to go custom order red and black. But really this was for Jason. Danny lingered on one that was lined in turquoise suede. The leather was a bold rust and turquoise patina on a delicate, detailed circle and diamond pattern. Brass circles studded across the pattern.
“You know, I think we have a leash that will match that one beautifully. Should we ring you up?”
-
When Jason walked in a few days later to find Danny sitting on his kitchen counter, swamped in one of Jason’s large shirts, and wearing the collar he nearly swallowed his tongue.
---
AN: So this is a thing that I've now written! Loved the response to the tease I post last night~
Danny has gotten ideas and Jason is gobsmacked. Don't worry, I'm sure he bought something for 'Red Hood' too. ^_~ (Collar 100% inspired by one of Big Cat Den Crafts)
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Clock, I need you to know that I dreamt about that fic you aren't writing.
Clock, I don't dream. And on the very rare instances that I do, it's 99% disjointed nonsense that slips out of my head within 10 minutes of waking up. Literally, in my 24 years of life I've only had like 3 or 4 dreams that actually stuck.
But that fic you aren't writing has apparently sunk itself so deep into my brain that I had a once in a blue moon memorable dream about it.
It was still a bit disjointed, but I distinctly recall a dinner party? potluck? IDK, there was food; at Danny and Jason's apartment complex. Like, the while building. Some of Red Hood's crew was there. And Jason was in civvies. Dick was there too. And Danny was conspiring with everyone (not Jason) to be a mischievous little shit. So there weren't enough chairs. I'm sure you can see where this is going.
Oh my gods that is amazing. Also I'm sorry(?) for making you dream? Or you're welcome?
As a gift, to feed your poor brain... let's write a little bit of this. Hum, when would this happen for max amusement... Let's say this is after Danny has asked Hood if he wanted to share, but before the Goon scene.
-
“What the fuck,” Dick murmured to himself.
“They’re hiding chairs,” the stranger, who Dick hadn’t noticed leaning against the kitchen counter till then, explained.
Dick tilted his head in thought and took another sip of the battery acid they were calling punch at this potluck. The potency of the drink might explain what he was watching happen.
The chair on top of the tenuous stack wobbled dangerous.
One of the men— Marco? —who were trying to shove the stack of three chairs into the closet shushed the chair. He pointed at it like one would a misbehaving dog and that the threat alone would get it to stay.
Definitely the punch.
“Why?”
“Because if there aren’t enough chairs, someone is going to have to sit in someone else’s lap and they’re plotting to make that happen,” the stranger said.
Dick took a moment to glance away from the game of closet Jenga to look over the other person. They were a slight thing, but slight in the way that spoke of lean muscles and a hidden strength. It reminded Dick of how Wally was built. The bright aqua eyes were almost unnerving in how bold the color was. The way they were grinning, widely, as they continued to watch the struggle didn’t exactly make them any less unsettling.
They took a large bite out of the cookie they had in hand.
A cookie sounded like a good idea. Dick snagged one from the platter, recognizing Jason’s baking.
Cinnamon and spice bloomed across his tongue. “Huh. Okay. Does Jason know?”
The stranger laughed, shaking their head. “No, that would defeat the whole purpose. He’s the intended chair.”
“Huh.” Well that was interesting. “Who’s the intended seater. Sitter? Sittie?”
“That would be me,” the stranger said, sticking their hand not holding the cookie out. Dick set his war crime known as punch down to shake it. “Hi, I’m Danny. I’m your brother’s accidental sugar baby.”
Jason looked up from the report he was going over to see two of his people standing in the the doorway to his office. They shifted nervously and he prepared himself for bad news. While he didn’t exactly aim for a friendly demeanor (that’s what being around as Jason was for), he did attempt to make it clear his people could talk to him. If shit was going to go down then he wanted to know so that he could get on top of it.
Like now.
Fuck.
Things had been looking so good, too. The new shelter would be up and running next week. The supplemented housing for single parents and their kids was doing well— Jason had been by as, well, Jason early that day to make sure everything was on the up and up— and there had been no new shit heads trying to sell drugs on his street corners. He should have expected for it to go wrong.
He tucked the reports away and leaned back in his chair before motioning the two in. Ralph and Marco, Jason thought, placing the two as they came to sit across from him. Ralph mostly helped manage the gym and train new people not to get killed— an ex boxer and coach from when times were better. Marco had just recently risen to lieutenant.
Jason had no clue what trouble the two of them would be bringing him together. Maybe someone did something stupid and needed more training.
It seemed they didn’t know where to start either and kept trading each other uneasy looks. Jason shifted, just slightly, in the way he knew made his chair creek ominously and watched both his men start.
“So, um, us goons have been doing some reading,” Ralph finally started. Jason wasn’t much fond of the term ‘goons’ himself, but for some reason his people had embraced it.
“Reading.” Jason replied, keeping his voice carefully monotone. Where was this going?
“Right, reading,” Marco picked up. “Found some ourselves and then Yasmine called us idiots and suggested some other stuff, but well, we’ve been doing reading. And we didn’t know if you had been.”
What.
“So, we, erm, well we just thought maybe we’d pass along the important bits?” Ralph said, wringing his hat in his hands so hard Jason thought he’d tear the seems apart. “See, when ya enter into a polyamorous relationship with a new partner, it’s important to make them feel included.”
What.
“Yeah,” Marco said with an enthusiastic nod. “And we get that you and Jason already have a rhythm and everything, but Danny seems like a really sweet kid—”
“Little feral.”
“Ralph’s right, little feral, but sos you, Boss— no offense. But he seems sweet. So we don’t want to see him be hurt none just ‘cause you aren’t making room for him.”
“What.” Seriously, what?
“Yeah. Sos like, in our reading—”
Holy fucking shit. His goons did reading about polygamy for him. Because Danny had asked him to share himself. What the fucking fuck.
“—it was important that you make sure that Danny feels like he has space in your space too.”
“Yeah,” Ralph agreed and then pulled an honest to God printout from his back pocket that he smoothed out on the corner of Red Hood’s desk before sliding it over. “Small things, see? Like making sure his favorite snacks are in your apartment. Or stocking up the bath products Danny uses. Don’t just make him use what you or Jason uses.”
“He uses a 5in1 bar of soap, I’m not encouraging that behavior,” Jason growled. (Why the fuck did he say that? He only knew that as Jason.)
It made his men pause for a moment before Marco gave a little nod. “Fair enough, deserves better and all. Buy him something special to use then.”
“What’s wrong with 5in1?” Ralph asked.
“Shut up Ralph, I’ll send you some reading,” Marco replied. “Point is Boss, You have to show Danny he's just as important. We just want this to work out for you, Boss.”
“Right.”
Ralph nodded. “We see how you two look at each other is all. And how Jason looks at him. We aren’t blind, Boss.”
“Right.”
“Um, right,” Marco repeated. He stood up and slapped at Ralph’s arm till Ralph did the same. He did reach out and scoot the printouts a little closer though. “Just, we’re here for you Boss.”
Jason gave a nod of his helmet before watching them scurry out of his office.
He picked up printouts. They did research for him. His little pack of supposedly hardened criminals (fuck the fact they were more and more becoming humanitarian aid) had read up on queer relationships for him.
Shaking his head Jason set the print outs aside and tried to get back to the reports he’d been reading before whatever the fuck that just happened happened.
The third time he glanced over at the printouts he gave up, folded him up into his back pocket, and stormed out of his office. He headed for Jenny’s, the 24/7 dinner that had survived in Crime Alley for nearly 70 years through sheer determination and having good enough food and coffee that no one dared fuck with it. (Didn’t hurt that Jenny kept shotguns under the counter and was a mean shot.)
The bell clattered at his entrance as he barged in and headed to the booth in the back corner. Bright blue eyes glanced up from the pile of textbooks and notes and Danny had the nerve to smirk at him.
Jason slammed his hands down onto the table, the coffee mug rattling from the force of it. Danny calmly picked it up and cradled it to his chest.
“Want to explain to me why the fuck I just sat through two of my people trying to explain some of the finer points of polygamy to me?”
Danny choked on a sip of his coffee. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Oh Ancients, they—” Danny cut himself off with a snort that soon devolved into full on laughter. Jason gave up looming and took a seat as he waited the laughter out. Finally Danny recovered enough to ask, “Are they trying to talk you into it or out of it?”
“They think I’m already in it.”
It took effort not to stiffen as one of Danny’s feet brushed up against his calf. He was smirking in that way that Jason was coming to both love and hate— and that only seemed to come out around Red Hood. “You could be, if you’d give me an answer.”
“You asked to share Jason.”
Danny gave a little shrug. The motion caused the oversized sweater that Jason was just realizing was his to slip down Danny’s bare shoulder on the one side. “I figured you came as part of that deal.”
“What has Jason said about it?” He asked, as if he didn’t very well know.
“Nothing, I haven’t asked. I’m not a home wrecker. I’m not going to tempt a man to cheat if you’re not into the idea.”
Jason crossed his arms.
Danny watched him back from under his dark lashes.
This was insane.
“You know I won’t take off my helmet.”
What the fuck was he doing?
“Never said I need you to. I’m more creative than that, Boss.”
Fuck.
Danny's smirk widened.
---
Fiends, the lot of you. I'm still claiming I'm not writing this shut up. We're blaming the poll, alright?
The GOOOOONS. They're just trying their best to be supportive! They want everyone to be happy!
Have a bit of a fic I'm totally not writing that is 110% @mokulule's fault. If I were writing it, it would include:
Accidental (?) sugar daddy Jason
Secret Identity shenanigans
The goons researching polygamy to be supportive of their Boss' lifestyle and new partner
Danny 100% knowing Jason and Red Hood are the same person
Jason being completely oblivious to this fact
Danny being a little shit
But I'm not writing it. Really.
Edit: master post of parts I totally didn't write
-
"So," Danny started. His tone was purposefully casual in a way that made Jason pay attention.
Jason was starting to understand that when Danny was too casual, he was up to something. This seemed doubly true when Danny was talking to Red Hood. It was fascinating, really, how Danny acted more mischievous around the crime boss than his supposed boyfriend.
They were currently taking a break in their sparing session to let some of the other goons take the mat and for them to have a breather. The way Danny was stretching out his muscles to stay warmed up was really, really distracting. Jason crossed his arms to avoid reaching out and touching the sliver of skin at Danny's hip where his shirt rode up. Jason swore that shirt had not been in Danny’s closet before.
He should know, he’d been replacing most of Danny’s heinous wardrobe for weeks now as Jason and what was basically a crop top had not been on the list.
"I've heard some of your crew talking." (It was cute when Danny tried to use lingo.)
Jason tilted his head to show that he was listening. It was the downside of the Red Hood helmet that it often seemed he wasn’t paying attention, so he had long since incorporated a few exaggerate head movements to telegraph his intent. It was nice, though, that at the moment hid his blatant staring.
Danny tilted his head back. "And the word from them is that Jason is yours."
Jason froze, mind scrambling about where this could be going.
Nothing could have prepared him with predatory smirk that Danny looked up at him with. Or the other's next words. "So what are your thoughts on sharing?"
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Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.
And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.
A website of tiny ceramic frogs.
Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.
I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.
“This is your website?” I asked finally.
“Yep!”
“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.
“Yep!”
“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”
“I made those too,” he says, beaming.
And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.
“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”
It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.
And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.
other superheros get training from their mentors, from the super secret society, from alien tech,from the monks or they have some kind of military background.
phantom, on the other hand, got training from the firefighters in his town after he crashed on their cases one too many times and they decided that "yup, if your gonna try to help, might aswell give you some training so you could be useful.", he got training from the paramedics because they were worried he wouldn't know how to help an injured human, he got training from his local town detective who smokes too much and gives him cookies when he can help with his Ghost senses and figure out if this was a human crime or a ghost crime.
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