“Cause We’re Just Clogging Up These Streets Again”

average letter size: well adjusted and adaptable

wide spacing between words: enjoy your freedom and dont like to be overwhelmed or crowded

no slant: logical and practical; dont let your emotions get the best of you

rounded letters: very creative and artistic

wide ‘e’ loops: open minded & enjoy trying new experiences

dots high over the ‘i’: you have a great imagination

crossing t’s right in the middle: confident and feel comfortable in your own skin

As your handwriting reflects your entire personality and the way you think, changing your handwriting can help you to develop yourself in more desirable ways. Handwriting can be used in all sorts of magic, as writing is something we already do on a nearly daily basis.

Handwriting General Associations:

Shape: determines general traits (Round = nicer/softer, sharp = sharper/meaner, etc)

Neatness: only determines communication skill to an extent, and/or organizational skills

Speed: only determines speed of the person (in general)

Signatures: Your public face; how you present yourself to the really broad public (like acquaintances, acquaintances of acquaintances)

Left: Introverted/past-associated

None: Balanced/Present-day 

Right: Extroverted/Future associated

Large = Call to attention

Small = avoid attention/notice

Size: How much attention you enjoy calling to that specific aspect. 

Of Handwriting: How much attention you enjoy calling to yourself in general.  Does NOT dictate personal expression- you can still be extroverted but not personally express yourself (which would manifest as large writing, but with a left slant).

Of Certain Letters: How much you want that specific aspect of yourself (that the letter represents) to gain notice. 

Zones: Represent different portions of your thinking and emotions. 

Upper Zone: Superconcsious/higher thinking/intellectual-ness,

Middle Zone: conscious; the self; regular daily thoughts

Lower zone: sexuality, subconscious

Slant: Dictates personal expression; expression of very personal emotions

Left: low personal expression

None: Balanced personal expression

Right: High personal expression

Spacing:

Between Letters: “Space” in personal expression; how closely you guard your personal emotions

Between Words: Spacing in large social situations; short spacing may be very outgoing and/or crowdy/intrusive, large spacing denotes introvertedness/someone who may not like crowds

How to Apply:

Writing spells: write your intention down a certain number of times (can be done for many days, as a daily ritual thing), changing your handwriting to fit the intention. 

If making sigils out of words, change the letters for whatever associations to add a bit more oomph. 

Actively try to change things in your handwriting that reflect parts of yourself you don’t like. 

Edit your handwriting while recording things in a physical grimoire to weave spellwork into the words and book itself. 

Note: The above is my information that I have gathered over the years.

Recommended Readings: 

Handwriting Analysis Putting it to Work for You by Andrea McNichol 

One of those muslin shirts with the big sleeves and metal clippy bits! Great for Flappy Hands and jingly noises!! Plus, no nasty seams!

Bondage trousers!!! An excellent pressure stim, and with zips and stuff to fiddle with!

Cool-coloured hair with buzzed bits: W O N D E R F U L

Safety pins!! Poke them through everything! Make nice patterns in your clothes, and a fun texture to run your hand across!

Jackets with spikes to touch, and fun badges and patches with all the things you care about!! 

classmate: what happened

me: I’m getting rid of energy

classmate: no I get that but what happened to your bones

google: elevate and apply pressure

(I didn’t think I would need to say this but for clarity, I am in no way attempting to help people cheat/game the system. I am not suggesting you lie or ham up your symptoms or issues. I am merely helping people navigate an often broken system. Be honest with the professional you are working with and with yourself. Thank you in advance for your understanding.)

Getting an Autism diagnosis as an adult can be a terrifying, and difficult thing to do for many reasons, but the payoff can be extremely beneficial mentally, emotionally, and in many other ways. Here are some of the things you can expect to experience when trying to get diagnosed, and some tips on making those expected issues go smoother.

1. Recognize that most professionals who are capable of giving an Autism diagnosis also know very little about Autistic people and our experiences, and are often looking for an ancient list of outdated “symptoms” to render their diagnosis.

2. If you end up with a professional who appears to not be taking you seriously or fits the first criteria, don’t get disheartened, and don’t give up immediately. It is often possible to inform them of true Autistic issues that coincide with what they may understand while broadening their view.

3. If they act unprofessionally or scoff at the idea of you being Autistic as if they “know” you aren’t while barely listening to you, or claim to have “more Autistic” patients, or compare you to other “more Autistic” people don’t waste your time. They aren’t giving you theirs.

4. It may take 2-3 different professionals to find someone who actually listens and understands, and has more than a basic understanding of Autism, and sometimes just as difficult to find one to take you seriously. For some reason, some of them seem to think people are clamoring to claim Autism these days for no reason.

5. When attempting to get a diagnosis as an adult, remember that you have more than likely spent years learning to mimic Neurotypicals, and dampening your Autistic traits in an attempt to fit in. This means you will appear Neurotypical and will often not broadcast the traits they are looking for in the diagnostic tests or criteria.

For that reason, when talking about why you feel that you are Autistic, make sure to focus on your time growing up, the struggles you went through, and the coping mechanisms of learning to mimic those around you and hiding your Autistic traits. (Things like sitting in front of a mirror practicing facial expressions because people bullied you for making the wrong ones.)

6. Know that medical professionals often take Autistic idiosyncrasies to mean they are untrustworthy, dangerous, seeking attention, lying, etcetera. For this reason, things like avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, and other Autistic traits can make some of them feel like we are hypochondriacs, liars or drug seekers as in my recent comic “What’s Up Doc?”

I am in no way saying you should attempt to hide these things. Don’t. They are Autistic traits and you should allow them to be seen. What I am saying is be aware that the Neurotypical person in front of you may be misreading them, and you may have to explain this to them.

7. Stand up for yourself. Feel free to say that this wasn’t a simple google search home diagnosis, and you didn’t just check out symptoms on WebMD. That you have been listening to the Autism community and that you share our issues, experiences, and abilities enough to inquire further.

8. If you come across as “quirky” or “goofy” and the doctors write it off as either of those two words (or similar,) you should recheck the steps in the earlier tips and realize you are either at the wrong doctor/professional, you aren’t being taken seriously, or you need to explain your issues a bit more. “I have pain” when you are in severe pain can make the wrong doctor say “everybody has pain” and dismiss you. “everyone’s a little weird and quirky. Bye” mean you need a second opinion.

9. Getting diagnosed Autistic as a female is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. Ok, the caps might not have been needed, but here’s the deal. Autistic women learn to mimic and present themselves differently than Autistic men. They are often better at both and start to have a need to learn to mimic at an earlier age.

On top of that, many professionals (and especially male professionals) have been known to see Autism as not only a children’s “disease” but also as a male “disease.” so you will have to be extra motivated, and diligent to persevere through the red tape that is the preconceived notions about Autism.

10. The difficulty above also applies to POC and even more so for WOC as Autism has also in the past been seen as a predominantly white, predominantly male diagnosis in the eyes of professionals around the world. As many of us always knew, and what they just starting to realize, is they were very wrong. The Autism community consists of all genders, races, shapes, and sizes.

11. Know that receiving an Autism diagnosis can either be a traumatic event, or a freeing and life-changing experience depending on your perception of what Autism is and what it means to you as a person. Like with anything, you can focus on the negatives and beat yourself up for being different and making so many mistakes along the way. You can even treat your Autism like a curse, and let that idea permeate your thoughts and control your perception. I did at one time.

Or you can realize that the majority of research out there (that isn’t ant-vaxxer propaganda) points to the idea of Neurodivergence being an important part of the history of humanity. We have always been here, and we have been instrumental in some of the most influential technological, and artistic innovations throughout the world.

Many of your shortcomings in the past may stem from your problems with social issues and other Autistic traits which we often have problems with and if you look back on them you can forgive yourself by explaining them through the understanding of your diagnosis.

Many things I used to beat myself up for, I realized A: Happened because I am Autistic and didn’t know any better, and B: The people around me held me specifically to a higher level of expectation and criticism because of my differences and they were 100% at fault for treating me unfairly for them.

Anybody who sits around yelling at people in wheelchairs for not being able to climb stairs is no different from these people punishing us for missing a joke or being misunderstood. That’s on them. Not on you.

You are who and what you are supposed to be. Forgive yourself. Love who you are. Live it. Own it. Be proud of it. These aren’t just words on a motivational poster. These are thoughts from an actual Autistic person from my own journey as an Autistic adult.

I hope this helps clear up some of your issues.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

Extra note: The difficulties noted above, also including the difficulty to afford care, or distance from care, and many other issues are exactly the reason that self-diagnosis is valid in my opinion.

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them: "hey can you get me that thing from on top of that shelf?"

me: "what?"

them: "can you ge-"

me: "oh yeah sure"

you’re not stupid

you’re not lazy 

you don’t have to compare your best to others’

Your brain is made in certain way and it’s not laking. It’s just different.