Yoni

You missed the old him. Not the old him who took things too far and left you with an aching feeling of hurt in your chest. But the old him where it felt almost like sport to rip into each other. You missed the banter and the laughs that came with it.

He’d turned into this yes man. He didn’t disagree with you on anything, he didn’t laugh with you when you did something stupid and if you suggested doing something, he’d just agree to it. Just last week, you’d purposely suggested going to eat at a place you knew he hated, hoping that he’d finally stand up for himself, but no. He sat for a whole hour and forced down a noodle dish you know he hated.

You were beginning to feel more like you were holding him against his will and he was just suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

That night did backfire on you slightly though. Because it scratched at something that had been bothering you even more than him becoming the world’s biggest people pleaser.

You’d been sat happily enjoying your noodles, trying to ignore the way that Cheol sort of looked like he might vomit at any given second, when someone you vaguely recognised wandered over to your table.

“Cheol?” his eyes flit up to the woman hovering by your table, “oh my god it is you! How have you been?” She beams at him.

Your eyes run over the woman stood in front of you. She’s stunning. Perfect make up, perfect hair and annoyingly perfect body, automatically you feel the sudden urge to throw your noodles at her. Or maybe even him.

“Er,” he glances at you, putting his chop sticks down tentatively, “Good! I’ve been good. You?”

“All the better for seeing you.” the woman, who you now decide is your sworn mortal enemy, replies in a sickly-sweet tone.

You could make a big deal out of it, make a song and dance of showing off that he’s yours to whoever this random goddess is. But you don’t. Instead, you decide that your noodles are far more entertaining than anything going on here, and try to ignore her.

“Did you lose a bet?”

That you can’t ignore. What the fuck is she insinuating? You glance at Seungcheol who looks like a deer caught in headlights.

“No? Why?” His eyes look between you and the woman you now hate more than anyone in the world. 

“Well. That night at the club,” oh that’s where she’s from! Mingyu had dragged you all to some themed night at a club run by one of his friends, a couple of weeks before the cottage trip. Your stomach drops when you remember that the perfect woman stood in front of you is the very woman you saw Seungcheol had pressed against the wall as you went to get some air, “you said any man who ended up stuck with her, would be the unluckiest man alive.”

Your body tenses though you keep your eyes firmly on your noodles. You were used to him being fucking cruel in the past but knowing he’d said it to someone you don’t even know cuts pretty deep. It doesn’t change how you feel about him. All of that is in the past. You know him now better than anyone and you know he said all that shit because his head was messed up, but it doesn’t stop the tears that threaten to spill.

His fingers twitch like he wants to reach for your hand across the table, his eyes holding so much worry and regret that his “friend” who’s brought nothing but drama, must be able to see.

“Actually.” He turns to her, her smile faltering a little when she sees how pissed off he is. “She’s my girlfriend. And whatever shit I told you that night, was bullshit. I’ve been in love with her since we were teenagers. So, fuck off and leave us alone.”

He turns back to his noodles, not wanting to say anything to you until she’s disappeared back under whatever hole she’s crawled out of.

“Well,” she huffs, glaring at you both, “I only came over because you were a good fuck. It’s not like I liked you or anything.”

All three of you know that’s not true. Her excitement at seeing him would suggest she was hoping something might happen. She turns on her heel though and struts off into the night, leaving you with a very worried Seungcheol.

“I never meant that ____, you know what I was like. Please don’t be upset about it, I’m really sorry.”

You can’t lie, you are upset. You’re upset that he said it, but you’re not surprised. And with everything that’s happened and how solid you two have been since that night in the cottage, you can’t hold it against him.

But one thing did start to niggle at you more and more. “You’re a good fuck.”

Those four little words have been spinning round and round in your head for days now. He’s a good fuck.

It’s not like you don’t know that. Multiple women over the years can attest to that.

But one person who can’t? You.   

And it was starting to drive you insane.

Since that first night where you rode his thigh and watched him cum all over his hand, you’ve only experienced what can only be described as heavy petting, at best. That isn’t to say he doesn’t touch you. He’s always touching you somehow, a gentle hand on your thigh in the car, wrapped in his arms on the sofa and if you’re making out it’s rare that his hands aren’t on your ass. But that’s where it stops.

And it isn’t like you haven’t tried. Fuck have you tried to show him that you want him, that you’re ready to finally know what all the fuss is about and for him to finally take your virginity. But it’s like he’s blind to it, content to happily wander through life without so much as a hand job. And you really don’t get it. His friend from the noodle bar said it herself, “You’re a good fuck.”.

So why won’t he do anything? He won’t even finger you for fucks sake.

When you mix his newfound celibacy with the fact that he would literally tell you how right you are if you confidently declared that Mingyu had grown a whole second head, instead of clearly calling you an idiot, you were starting to feel like you were in some sort of twilight zone.

It was beginning to make you question everything. Does he even want this? Surely, he’s going to get bored sooner rather than later, things will fizzle out and you will truly end up hating each other. Your mind tries to tell you that maybe he just doesn’t want you that way, that you’re not his type and he’s now trying to find a way out of it. But that doesn’t make sense at all, why spend all his time telling you how beautiful you are to then turn around and say you’re not his type.

But maybe that’s it. There’s a difference between finding someone beautiful and wanting to tear their clothes off and pin them against the kitchen counter. Over the past 11 years you’ve seen him get with women smaller than you, bigger than you, smaller tits, bigger tits, the list goes on and on. Seungcheol doesn’t discriminate, if he thinks you’re hot, then you’re in his bed or literally wherever he can have you.

So maybe you’re not hot?

He just thinks you’re beautiful like you’d say about a nice view or a scenic water colour or something, nice to look at but it doesn’t get him going.

What doesn’t help is that for the past week you’d been staying at his place. Your lease ended on your apartment and there was another two weeks until you could move into your new one, so Seungcheol being the annoying loving boyfriend he is, said you could stay at his place.

Which is perfect. Sort of.

Each morning you wake up with his strong arms wrapped around you and you’ve never felt safer or more loved. But that also means most mornings you wake up with his hard dick against you and once he’s realised that you’re both awake and you can feel it, he rushes off to the bathroom and has a shower. Leaving you feeling more and more like you’re diseased and everyone forgot to tell you.

And so now you find yourself on your boyfriend’s bed, kindle in hand and only a baggy old t-shirt on, as you try to relieve at least some of the frustration you’re currently feeling. The mafia boss is doing something with his gun that is absolutely not how it was intended to be used, but fuck does the idea of it make your clit throb under your fingers. It’s not unusual that you imagine Seungcheol in these scenarios, especially when your book gets to the filthiest scenes, and that just makes you even wetter. 

You can’t help it, no matter how the male lead is described, you still only see Seungcheol’s handsome features and big body as you conjure up the fantasy world you’re trying to escape to. And today is no different. He’s holding his wife down on to desk, telling her to be more fucking careful about who she speaks to, as his gun runs through her sopping folds. You close your eyes, imagining your fingers are the barrel of the gun, that Seungcheol is the one pressed against you, caging you between the desk and his strong body, whispering into your ear about how you’d better start fucking behaving yourself or you’d regret it.

You’re barely even reading the words at this point, your eyes only flit open occasionally but then go back to whatever fantasy you’ve concocted for yourself whilst your fingers move frantically up and down your clit. Your pussy is drenched, your fingers absolutely covered in your essence as the familiar wet sounds of you pleasuring yourself ring round the room.

Gun play isn’t something you’d ever considered but when you open your eyes to finally read the next sentence and the mafia boss slips the tip of his gun just enough into his wife’s pussy to make her scream, you slam your eyes shut again as your fingers glide down to your clenching hole. You slip two in, stretching yourself open a little, just how his gun does in the book, before you peer at the next sentence, “are you even listening to me darling? Or has your brain turned all dumb baby, you like me fucking you with my gun? It’s all you’re gonna get, such a dumb little slut for me, you only deserve my gun. One day you’ll learn to keep your fucking mouth shut.”

Your eyes roll back, as fresh wave of arousal pouring out of you as you clamp down on your own fingers. What you wouldn’t give for Seungcheol to fuck you with anything at this point. You can imagine him, in one of the pristine suits he goes to the office in, folding you over his desk whilst he fucks something, anything into you to ease the pain of longing that you’re feeling.

You’re close, so fucking close that it’ll only take a couple more…….

“OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY!”

Your kindle flies across the bed, your heart in your throat thinking it’s someone who’s broken in and found you knuckles deep in yourself. But it isn’t, it’s just Seungcheol, eyes covered with his fingers as he turns around quickly then he doesn’t see you.

Does he find the idea of even seeing you masturbating so offensive, that he can’t bring himself to look at you?

Or maybe he’s just nervous? Maybe it’s time for you to take the initiative, to show him that you want him properly.

“You could help me?” you say softly, far too innocently for what you actually mean.

“Oh! Yeah sure!”

Your heart flutters almost as much as your pussy. This is it, he’s actually going to finally do something.

The small smile you had toying on your lips soon disappears though when he walks backyards into the room, eyes still covered aside from a small gap in his fingers, so he doesn’t fall, and he throws your sleep shorts at you.

“There you go.” They land on the bed as you watch him fumble out of the room, “I’ll be in the kitchen! I got us dinner from that Thai place you like.”

And with that he’s gone. He rushes out of the room, and you’re left with your legs spread, sleep shorts between them where they landed and your best hope of an orgasm long gone. All thanks to the man who is apparently “a good fuck.”

You can’t keep doing this. He doesn’t want you. Not like you want him. Why did he even start this if it was never going to go anywhere?

“I think I’m going to go and stay at my mom’s until I can move into my new place.”

You don’t look at him. Just keep eating your food, resigned to the fact that you’ll be a virgin for the rest of your life. Perhaps it won’t be that bad, you can live your darkest fantasies through the characters in your books and never have to deal with the fact that all men ever do is disappoint you. He can go back to being his usual self and this whole charade will be over.

“Why?”

He looks genuinely confused, his pad thai halfway to his mouth and a pout quickly forming on those perfect lips of his.

“I think it’d just be a better idea for me to be there.”

He searches your face, hoping there’d be some sign as to why you’re suddenly leaving but all he finds is a vacant expression that looks almost tired.

“Is this because of earlier? I swear I don’t mind you doing that! It was just a shock, I shouldn’t have made it a thing, I should’ve just turned around and let you finish.”

Should have just let you finish?! He cannot be serious. Your chest feels like someone is bouncing on it from how much your heart is thumping. There’s not a single part of him that had any inclination to even join you. To let his fingers bring you that much needed release instead of your own.

“This relationship isn’t working Cheol.”

You’ve no idea what he was expecting you to say but it clearly wasn’t that. He looks dumb struck with panic, eyes filling with tears before you’ve even told him why. And that breaks you, you feel like the worst person in the world, but you can’t do this anymore.

“Why? Everything was fine! Is this because of what’s just happened?” He presses again.

“It’s sort of because of that, I don’t know, there’s a lot.”

“A LOT? Fuck, what are you even talking about? Everything has been perfect!”

Your heart aches from how sad he sounds, tears now streaming down his cheeks and food pushed to the side.

“But that’s the problem! I think this whole thing has just been a fantasy of what you thought the perfect relationship should be. None of it even feels real Cheol!”

“What the fuck does that mean?! It feels real to me!”

“I don’t know how to explain this,” you mumble, fingers massaging your temples.

“THEN FUCKING TRY!” You jump when he screams it at you, tears still coursing down his cheeks and pain in his eyes.

“I..... I don’t think you want me. Not how I want you.”

“What th.....”

“Please Seungcheol,” you hold your shaky hand up to stop him, “just let me say this.”

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you with a trembling bottom lip.

“That first night, at the cottage, you told me I made you feral. I always remembered it because it made me feel so wanted, so desired. But when this whole thing started, I was nervous we wouldn’t be ourselves anymore and I think I was right,”

“But we are!” He interrupts.

“We’re not Cheol,” you plead with him, “You haven’t been normal with me in months. And I don’t mean telling me things you wouldn’t tell anyone else or trying to make me happy, I love that you do that. But I mean your normal, jokey self, ready to laugh with me or mock something stupid I did. Like I would mock you. I don’t mean I want you to be fucking mean to me like you used to, I just mean I miss that banter. It’s what made us, us. And now any time I disagree with you, you just change your mind. It’s like you’ve got no opinion. I want to bicker, I want to laugh, I want the Seungcheol I’ve been in love with for years. Not this yes man that just agrees with me.”

He’s quiet, thinking through what you’ve just said to him.

“I didn’t want to lose you.” His voice is only a little louder than a whisper, but you hear him.

“Why would you lose me?”

“Because I know I took it way too far a lot of the time when we were at each other’s throats. Fuck I saw my whole life flash before me at the restaurant the other day, when she said about losing a bet. I know you always gave as good as you got but it was me that took it too far. I just kept thinking if I didn’t even give myself the opportunity to go too far, then I couldn’t hurt you like I used to. And now I’m losing you anyway.”

You hate that you’ve caused this sadness. All because you were too horny with your kindle. And you don’t want to lose him but surely going through this hurt temporarily, is better than hurting each other permanently, later down the line.

“Do you find me attractive?”

“What?” his eyes snap to yours.

“I just..... I guess this also ties into the other thing that’s been bothering me.”

You look up at him, hoping now he might stop you. Because now you’re not feeling as brave as you did when he was pissing you off. Because now you’re fucking terrified of hearing the answer.

“Why won’t you have sex with me? Earlier when you found me on your bed, all you did was fucking cover your eyes, it’s like the option of joining me, didn’t even cross your mind! Seriously if you don’t find me attractive, I’d rather you just tell me because clearly there’s a massive fucking problem here. Did you think you wanted me and now you’re stuck with me, you’ve realised I’m not what you want at all. Do you want other people? Like the woman from the other night? Why do you not want me like you wanted all those women?”

Your voice gets gradually quieter. Now you’re saying it out loud you just want the ground to swallow you up. All your insecurities are bubbling to the surface after spending years comparing yourself to the countless women you’ve seen him with.

And the fact he’s not saying anything, just staring at you, makes you feel even more insecure. You’ve actually done it, you must’ve done. You’ve managed to hit every nail on the head and now he doesn’t want to upset you by admitting that everything you’ve just said is true.

“Of course I do.”

Is that all he has to say? After everything you’ve just said to him, all he can do is appease you again.

“Don’t bullshit me Seungcheol. You’re not being you. Not in the way you are with women you want. Not in the way you behave with me in general.”

“How would you know?!” The sudden shout makes you jump again, your chopsticks falling to the ground.

“Because I’ve been watching you Cheol, for years!! And it’s broken me every single time! I’ve seen how you are with women, there’s a fire in your eyes, like you’re ready to risk it all for however long you spend with them! And with me it’s just “you’re pretty” and a quick half assed squeeze of my ass and that’s it! I know you better than that and don’t insult me by saying I don’t. I’ve seen you when you want people and you don’t want me! Fuck, you find your girlfriend fingering herself and you do fuck all and run off?!”

“This is what it’s about?! You just want to fuck?! Get up then, I’ll fuck you if that’s what you want!! Then you can stop all this fucking bullshit!!” He stands up like he’s ready to go.

Panic sets in.

Not only is he not understanding you. You’re really losing him.

That isn’t what you want. You want him to want to. Which he clearly doesn’t and your heart shatters.

“That’s not what I want!!” you sob, it all getting too much, “I just want you to tell me what I’m doing wrong and why you don’t want me,” you can’t help it, you can barely catch your breath you’re crying so much but this has been building up for weeks.

“Oh,_____.” He rushes over to you, kneeling down in front of you, hands tentatively holding your chair.

“I-i don’t want to lose y-you,” you hiccup, wiping your eyes, “but I don’t even feel like I’ve got you to lose. I-i know you’ll always protect me, but I don’t feel like you’re here. The real you.”

He hangs is head in shame, hands tightening on your chair.

“I want you. And I know I’m not showing it. But it’s because I don’t know how to stop myself if I behave exactly how I want to around you, because I want you so fucking much and I’m well aware I’m your first. And I know I’m behaving weird, but I swear it’s because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to hurt you and that’s all I’ve ever done.”

You get that. You really do. But he’s just not him.

“These past few months,” you sniffle, “they’ve been amazing. I love you so much Cheol, but I miss how we used to be.”

You look down at the man kneeling in front of you and you still can’t believe he’s yours. You just wish he felt like yours.

“I love how caring you are, how safe you make me feel. And don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that you’ve never forced me to do anything before I’m ready. But it gets to a point where I’m starting to feel like I’m going insane. You don’t have to wrap me cotton wool,”

“I just,” he frowns, trying to find the right words, “I’m so scared of ruining this. And I don’t want you to ever think I’m going back to how I used to be.”

“I get that. But I miss being able to laugh at each other, I mean for god’s sake Cheol even I could tell I was driving like a grandma the other day and you didn’t even laugh with me. You just said that it wise to be cautious... Like what the fuck is that?!”

“If it helps,” he chuckles, thumbing your cheek, his beautiful smile wiping away the sadness slightly, “I did think it to myself.”

“Well thank fuck for that! At least you’re in there somewhere! Please just stop being so cautious. I just want the us from before but without the extra dickhead Cheol that came with it.”

“I get what you’re saying,” he chuckles, squeezing your hand, “I just never want to cross that line.”

“But I don’t think you will Cheol because the main thing that was making you do that, was because you loved me and thought you couldn’t have me. But you’ve got me. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

You take his cheek in your hand when a fresh tear falls from his tired eyes, wiping it away and hoping you’re finally getting through to him.

“I want to have sex with you. More than anything. And I hate that I’ve made you question yourself so much and compare yourself to anyone. You’re it for me _____, you are the most beautiful, hottest, most insanely attractive woman I’ve ever met.” He smiles when you giggle at that.

“And it isn’t a responsibility thing, I don’t think. It’s more that I don’t feel like I deserve it. It’s such a big thing and I’ve been such a dick to you, I’ve got it in my mind that it shouldn’t be mine to take. Fuck, every day I have to hold myself back because I don’t want us to finally do it, and then you to wake up tomorrow and realise what I’ve always known, that you’re way too good for me.”

“I wish you saw what I do,” your eyes search his, “you’re the person I rely on Choi Seungcheol, you’re the person I know I can go to when I’m scared or sad. And you’ve been protecting me for longer than I even knew. I don’t want a perfect relationship where neither of us speak our mind. I want us to argue, I want us to laugh....I want us to love Seungcheol. But we can’t do that until you open your fucking eyes and realise that I am totally and utterly in love with you. And I know you. And if I say you’re good enough for me. Then you are.”

“But.....”

“No. There’s no but. Even when we were fighting for all those years, we still knew each other better than anyone. You can’t piss people off as well as us two did to each other without knowing them. And I do know all of you. And I still love you.”

“I’m sorry, I love you so fucking much.” He says with a sad smile, staring at your knee rather than your face.

“I don’t want you to be sorry.” You lift his head with a finger under his chin, “I just want you back. The proper Seungcheol, who stands on the back of my shoe to make me trip so he can.....wait....” Something clicks in your mind that you’d never realised before. “Oh my god have you been doing that for years so that you could catch me?!”

He is such a fucking child.

“Took you long enough to figure out.” He chuckles, eyes shining. A huge improvement from the tears of a few moments ago.

You roll your eyes but pull on his hands to make him sit up so you can pull him into your arms.

You hold each other for what feels like hours, your nose nuzzled in his hoody, finding comfort in the familiar scent of him filling your senses.

“So next time you find me like you did......”  

“Oh, there won’t be a next time baby,” he interrupts, “I’ll make sure you never need to do that again.” You can almost hear the smirk in his voice.

You try to hold back your excited squeal at that, though he knows you so well that he’ll know that anyway.

“Was that the right answer, your Highness?”

“Mm-mm” 

“Good,” he pulls himself up in your arms and launches himself on top of you.

“Cheol you big idiot!! What are you doing?!” 

“I’m holding you.”

“You’re sitting on me. Could you move?!”

You can feel your legs going numb already. You may love his scrumptious thighs and big body but not when he’s on top of you. You feel like you’re being crushed.

“No. You told me to be myself. And I want to hold you. So, deal with it.” He pats your head sarcastically with a smug smile before humming when he makes himself comfy on top of you.

“Asshole.” 

“Takes one to know one.”

You huff but, in the end, tighten your arms around him, pretty pleased with finally getting to the bottom of whatever the hell was going on with him. And finally feeling like the normal Seungcheol is back.

Seungcheol’s apartment is eerily quiet when you close the door and take your shoes off, leaving your bag and coat on the stand and creeping in.

It’s pitch black. No TV blaring or food burning in the kitchen. Just dark and silent.

That is until you smell the distinct scent of candles. And hear a sort of warbling coming from the bedroom.

You wonder whether you should even look what he’s doing. Maybe he’s taken up Mongolian throat singing and wants his privacy. Or maybe he’s doing exactly what you were doing two nights ago. Fuck. If he’s doing that, surely you can risk a small peak round the door. Just to see. Just for a second.

But against your better, more pervy, judgement. You decide it’s best to announce yourself.

“Cheol?!” 

“You’re home!” he rushes through the door, a wide, if not frantic, smile on his face.

“Should I not be?” you narrow your eyes at him.

“You should be! Absolutely! Just give me one more second? Please?” he doesn’t wait for you to answer him, just rushes back into his bedroom.

What the hell is he even doing?

After the chaos of the other night, you felt a lot better about your relationship. He was far more like his old self, no more treating you like you were royalty and he feared being sent to be executed. Just the boyfriend you always wanted, that you knew was still there somewhere, who makes your heart flutter and smile like a goofball.

Your mind wanders whilst you stand and wait for whatever he’s doing. Maybe he’s taking you for dinner. You noticed, as he rushed in and out of the room, that he had your favourite brown suit on. He wore it for your best friend’s wedding, and you’d spent most of the day staring at him, rather than taking in anything else happening around you.

Now though, it looks even better.

He’d had his hair cut, much to your horror. Although when he walked in with his fresh cut, you’d had to eat your words and accept that you were wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. Because if Seungcheol with long hair made you weak at the knees, Seungcheol with short hair had you frothing at the mouth, barking on the ground like a dog.

He had no business being so fucking hot.

The night of the haircut you’d tried your hardest to get him to do something, finally. But instead, you sat and watched Shrek whilst he held your hand and occasionally kissed your head.

You were nearly in tears by the time you got home, crawled into bed and shakily took out your vibrator. Cursing Seungcheol. And his barber.

You’re so lost in thought at how hot he looks that you don’t even notice that he’s in front of you.

“Hi,” he beams at you, hands on your hips and placing a gentle kiss on your cheek.

You can’t help it, your whole body goes gooey when he’s soft with you like that.

“Hello.” You grin back, “What are you up to?”

“I got the afternoon off,” he takes your hand and leads you towards his bedroom. Every part of you hopes this is what you think it is. But then you remember Shrek and you do find yourself doubting it a little bit. “And so, I’ve got a surprise.”

Fuck you hope it’s his dick with a pretty bow on it.

Although that wouldn’t explain the warbling and the candles.

Good god maybe he’s joined a cult. And you’re about to be the sacrifice.

Your body jolts when you smack into him, you not even realising he’d stopped in front of you.

“Are you ok?” he chuckles.

“Y-yeah,” you don’t really answer him properly, your eyes catch sight of his bedroom and all your ability to speak disappears.

It looks like hundreds of candles, differing in size, on every surface and on the wooden floor, even on the window ledge. And where there’s no candles, there’s bouquets of pink peonies all in different sizes. The rain hitting the window and the cold night outside, completely juxtaposes the warmth and extravagance of the bedroom, making it seem like you’re in your own world completely.

“Cheol,” you move past him, taking in every detail in the room in wonderment, “this must’ve taken you so long to do! It’s....it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

“Well, that’s a lie, you must’ve looked in a mirror before.”

You’re so awe struck you haven’t even got it in you to roll your eyes at that cheesy line. The more you look, the more details you spot.

He’s hung up string lights with clips on them, each clip holding Polaroids of you both taken over the years. Your friends always making you have your photos taken together, even when you were both adamant you didn’t want to.

There’re chocolates and champagne on the bed side table and even two new fluffy robes thrown over the chair that sits in the corner of the room.

“Do you like it?” his arms wrap around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder as you keep taking everything in.

“It’s amazing Cheol, I can’t believe you did all this.” You turn in his hold, arms settling around his neck whilst his arms tighten around your waist.

“I’m sorry I was so stupid about all this, anybody would think I’m the virgin.”

You both snicker at that. He has been very dramatic about this whole thing. You, of course, have been very level headed. Frothing at the mouth and barking aside.

“So....you want to? Tonight?”

“We absolutely don’t have to, there’s no pressure. Either way I wanted to do something to show you I love you, and that I’m sorry for being so weird about everything. But. Just for the sake of clarity and because I made you question everything..... I’m absolutely ready to ruin you.”

“Oh my god!” You whine, head on his shoulder as he roars in laughter.

You lift you head slowly, his laughter dying down and just leaving his most perfect smile as he looks at you.

“Do you want to?” he asks, nothing but care in his voice.

Your heart is hammering and suddenly you feel nervous. Yes, you’re horny and you’ve thought about this more and more every day. But now it’s happening, your mind is foggy with worry.

“Hey,” he says softly, a gentle finger lifting your chin to make you look at him. “It’s normal to be nervous, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I want this. I want it to be you, it was always meant to be you. It was always yours.” 

His breath hitches, his eyes marvelling at you.

“Fuck.” his voice is no louder than a whisper, his forehead resting against yours.

Your eyes flick down to his lips, his doing the same. It’s like you’re both in the same position, even though Seungcheol definitely isn’t. But the nerves feel the same. You suppose it’s a lot of pressure to be someone’s first when it’s been so long they’ve been waiting.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mm-mm” he stares at your lips, watching you talk.

“Why is this weird music on?”

His eyes snap to yours.

“It’s Enya. I wanted to set the mood.”

You bite your lips, desperately trying not to laugh at him, not wanting to ruin all his hard work.

“Is there another option?”

“There is. I fuck you so good that all we hear is your sopping pussy talking to us.”

You freeze. Ears turning pink and pussy clenching around nothing. You were not expecting that switch up.

You just stare at him, open mouthed, not really knowing how to respond to that. You’ve spent over a decade wanting to hear shit like that come out his mouth and now you have, you’re not quite sure how to respond.

“Shall I turn it off?” he mutters, fingers digging into your waist and lips so close, you can feel his breath.

“N-no… I mean yes?” you glance at his lips, “Oh I don’t fucking care.”

You crash your lips into his, his smile soon fading when grabs your face and deepens the kiss straight away. Your lips move with such urgency that your brain can hardly keep up. His tongue slips into your mouth, swallowing the little moans that leave you as his hands grope your ass, bringing you flush against his already hardening dick. You’ve kissed him, a lot. But nothing like this. This time it’s like he’s trying to show you just how much he’s wanted you all these months. All these years.

You love his suit. But right now? You need it as far away from him as possible. Shakey fingers yank it out of his suit pants, buttons opening as quick as you can so you can see the body you love so much. He’s big, he always has been and you love how that feels. How when you’re in his arms, it literally feels like he’s caging you from the world. How when he gets out of the shower, you just want to bite his biceps they look so yummy. He’s big and you fucking love it.

His jacket is thrown onto the floor, followed by the shirt once you’ve finally got all those trickly little buttons undone and he begins to move you backwards towards the bed, unzipping your dress as you go, meaning that by the time the back of your legs hit the mattress, you’re in nothing but your underwear.

His lips never leave yours, both of you trying desperately to cling to each other whilst wrestling every last piece of clothing off yourselves.

“Get on the bed,” he mumbles, between little pecks on your kiss bitten lips.

You don’t even hesitate, just shuffle quickly up the bed, head meeting the pillows and resting on your elbows then you can see Seungcheol take off his last piece of clothing, revealing is now hard dick to you as he stands transfixed by your naked body in front of him.

Any nerves you may have had the first time, in the cottage, are long gone. His gaze doesn’t allow you to question is desire for you at all. He looks at you like you are the centre of his universe, which is lucky, because that’s exactly how you think of him.

He kneels between your legs, eyes taking in every inch of you in awe, fingers brushing along the soft skin of your calves, drawing little swirls and whirls as they wander higher up your legs, his eyes never leaving your body. When his fingers hover on the inside of your thighs, he glances at you, but you don’t look at him, you can’t, you’re just transfixed by how close his hands are to where you need him the most. You’re pussy weeping more the longer it takes him to do something.

His strong hands clasp your thighs and open your legs, your pussy fully on display for him the more he opens them.

“Fuck,” he whispers, shuffling at little closer to you and hovering over you, one hand near your head and the other softly stroking your thigh, “I love you.”

He looks deep into your eyes as his fingers finally part your soaked folds, gliding through them from how utterly ruined you are for him already. Finally, after all this waiting, you feel him and your whole mind goes dizzy. That night in the cottage, you’d felt his thigh against you but nothing else, and in the months after that you’d yearned for his touch so much that you were starting to feel like it might never happen.

But now your feel his long, calloused fingers circling your clit, your hips twitching evertytime he applies more pressure and you have to remind yourself that he is entirely yours. That he loves you just like you hoped he would for all those years.

He never takes his eyes off you, his big body hovering over you, lips occasionally leaving featherlight kisses along your collar bone and neck but pretty quickly averting his eyes back to your pretty face and the even prettier reactions you make when his two fingers circle your clit a little harder each time.

“You’re so fucking wet baby, all this time you’ve been this desperate for me?”

Your brain wants to answer him, it really does, but those two fingers he had on your clit glide down to your entrance and any ability you had to speak, is gone as his fingers apply the lightest bit of pressure before moving back to your clit.

“You’ve been this needy? All this fucking time. Fuck,” he bites your ear lobe, a whine leaving you at the shock of it, “I’ve thought about this you know. Every single time,” another bite and a particularly firm circle of your clit that has your thighs shaking, “I wake up and my dick is nestled in your perfect ass, fuck the number of times I’ve almost cum just from that.”

His fingers move back down to tease your leaking hole again and your hips buck a little, like you’re trying to make him move his fingers into you. You would literally do anything at this point, you just need something inside you.

“But you knew that didn’t you?” His fingers just push into your hole, “I’ve felt you shoving your ass back when you thought I was still asleep, fucking little tease.” He moves his fingers from your hole and back to your clit, making you want to scream in frustration.

“Cheol,” you plead, finally looking at him in the eye rather than at his body, “please.”

You’re pleading so innocently that you see a fire burn in his eyes, but you can tell he’s not done toying with you yet.

“Please what?” He pouts. “Please finger your perfect little pussy?” His fingers go back to toying with your swollen bundle of nerves.

“Mm-mm,” you nod, revelling in the way his fingers are playing with you.

“You didn’t do a good enough job the other day? Fingering yourself on my bed, pretending like you didn’t want me to find you? What were you reading baby?”

“A-a..book,” you sigh when you feel his fingers near your hole again.

“Don’t,” he nips your nipple with his teeth, the pain making you squirm underneath him, “get smart with me. What was happening? What got my perfect little girlfriend so wet that she had to finger herself on her boyfriend’s bed?”

This does make you snap back to reality. You can’t tell him. You know you said you wanted the little shit Seungcheol back, but you know damn well, he will never let you live it down if you tell him.

So, remain silent.

But that proves a step too far for Seungcheol. He removes his fingers from you, instead deciding to run his wet fingertip around your nipples whilst he waits for you to tell him what you were reading.

“I won’t do anything until you tell me. You’ll just have to finish yourself off whilst I watch.”

Fuck.

“It…..It’s a book about a mafia boss,”

He hums whilst he listens, watching his fingers wander back down to your pussy, his hand massaging you soothingly.

“And?” He parts your folds, spreading you open and gazing down at how much you’re leaking.

You suppose you’re going to have to bite the bullet. Much like the heroine did in your book.

“He was fucking his wife with his gun.”

His head whips back up to gawk at you. His hand frozen over your aching mound.

“He…..What? You were reading a book about fucking cats last week. And now you’re reading hardcore porn?!”

Does he really need to do this now?!

“It is not hardcore porn. It’s a love story.”

“Why do you only read boring shit when you’re sitting with me?!”

“Because you’re fucking nosey and I thought you’d get so bored, reading over my shoulder, you might finally decide to fuck me!”

His eyes are full of challenge, showing you he’s no intention of letting this whole gun fucking thing drop. But he’s got more pressing things to be getting on with, and his fingers finally greet your clit once again.

“Such a dirty fucking girl,” he bites your neck, his fingers moving back down to your hole, “who knew the quiet little virgin had such a nasty fucking mind.”

Your hands are clutching the bed sheets, his fingers circling your entrance once again.

“Look at me.” You do, without hesitation and his two long fingers finally push into you.

His eyes are filled with lust, almost daring you to look away from him as his fingers move slowly in and out of you, hitting deeper and deeper each time. You’re a squirming mess underneath him, head thrown back and desperately trying to keep your eyes open to revel in the fucked out look already on Seungcheol’s face. 

“Fuck your greedy pussy is fucking swallowing my fingers baby, you feel fucking incredible. So warm,” he nibbles your ear lobe, “so fucking wet for me.”

His fingers speed up once he knows you’re used to him, his two long digits hitting a spot inside you that you’ve never been able to find before. The second he hits your g-spot, you cry out, your legs kicking slightly as you cling to him.

“That’s it,” he coos at you, “doesn’t that feel good baby?”

It does feel good. It feels fucking incredible, it’s literally nothing you’ve ever felt before, but you can’t even figure out a way to tell him that. Your mind is blank, the only thing coursing through it is how his fingers greet your g-spot every time he fucks them into you and how incredible they feel as they drag along your warm, wet walls. Your fingers will never cut it again, you can already tell that.

“You want another one?” Fuck he needs to stop talking to you like that, like you’re nothing but his little toy, but you know he won’t because he can feel just how much you like it from the way your keep clenching down on his fingers, “you think you can handle another one baby?”

You’ve no fucking idea. Why the hell does he keep asking you questions?!

He takes your squirming as a yes and gently adds another finger, stretching you open more than you’ve ever been and making you throw your head back on the pillow, eyes clamped shut and lip between your teeth.

It stings. It borderline hurts. But he goes slow with it, watching every reaction you have to make sure you’re not in any huge amount of pain. He can tell it’s a little uncomfortable from the way your eyebrows have knitted together like they do when you get a paper cut or something. But the second he sees that fade and your mouth open a little, airy little moans leaving it, he knows he can speed up again.

You can feel your orgasm bubbling already, his fingers fucking you open and repeatedly hitting that spongey spot inside you that you never knew you had until about five minutes ago. His breath his heavy against your neck, he occasionally places a gentle kiss on it but he’s mainly just watching how his fingers disappear inside you.

“Shit _____, look at you creaming my fucking fingers. You gonna cum for me?”

You nod and cling to his forearms. Because its all you can do.

His fingers plunge in and out of you, the sound of squelching filling the room as your pussy only gets wetter and wetter the closer you get to your release. When his thumb meets your clit, just rubbing it slightly because his fingers are fucking you too fast to make even the loosest of circles, it proves too much for you.

You clamp down on his fingers so hard that he struggles to even keep moving them, they’re covered in a milky white ring as you spasm beneath him. Your whole body shaking as electricity courses through you like you’ve never experienced before. You always thought it was a myth that orgasms felt different if it was just your clit being stimulated rather than your g spot too. But now you know you were wrong. So wrong.

Your hips grind down onto him, meeting the thrusts of his fingers as you ride out your high, your body tingling and tears falling from how hard it hit you. And Seungcheol can do nothing but stare at you with hungry eyes, fingers slowing slightly as you orgasm ebbs away and his dick twitching against your thigh from how fucking beautiful you look, writhing around underneath him.

It finally hits him, as your body slows, that he’s the only person to ever see this. To ever know how stunning you look as you cum, to have your body like this. And it also hits him just how lucky he is, that you trust and love him so much that you’ve let him do this, to be the one that you give something so precious to. That you’ve been keeping for all those years.

He loses all sense at that point, he doesn’t even let you catch your breath, just smashes his lips into yours hoping that you feel just how much he loves you from how wanton his kiss is.

You hum into it, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer to you. You can feel his hard dick against the inside of your thigh, but you don’t care, you just want him close to you, to feel the weight of his body against yours to ground you slightly.

His kiss turns into little pecks, like he doesn’t want to disconnect your lips but also wants to see you, to check on you.

“That was fucking incredible,” you beam at him, beating him to it.

“Really,” a quick kiss on your lips, “I couldn’t tell.”

You haven’t even got it in you to be mad at his sarcastic comment. Your body is on a high and now you’re back to reality, you very much do care that his hard dick in currently leaking precum all over your thigh.

Your hand twitches to touch him but then it hits you. You’ve never held one. Never felt one. Even that night all those months ago, you didn’t feel anything, you just watched him cum. Sure, you’ve felt it through his clothes, but you’ve never actually done anything more. What if you do it wrong? What if……

“What are you thinking about?” He moves your hair behind your ear, still hovering over you.

“I was g-going….” You curse yourself for faltering, he’s going to think you’re such an idiot, “to touch you. But,” you look anywhere but at him, “I’ve never…..I don’t want to….do it wrong?”

“Hey,” he makes you look at him, his hand holding your cheek, “do whatever you want to. I’m yours. Completely.”

Your heart leaps at that but it doesn’t shift the worry about fucking this up.

“I just, I don’t know what to do, what you like I mean.”

“I like,” he takes your hand in his, guiding it down towards his throbbing length and closing your hand around it, his on top of yours guiding your movements, “whatever you do. Because it’s you doing it, just like I always wanted.”

He guides your movements for a couple of strokes but then his hand leaves yours and now it’s just you, with his hard dick in your hand and moving slowly along it. His breath hitches, him taking your nipple into his mouth so you feel his moans against you as well as hear them, as your grip tightens slightly and your movements speed up a little.

You’re transfixed by him, the way his swollen tip leaks occasionally making the slip easier for your movements, how his body shudders against you when your thumb grazes said tip, wanting to know what the liquid oozing out of it feels like. Your pussy leaks a fresh wave slick when you realise just how big he is, and how he’s going to be buried inside you, the first and last man to ever do it. You can feel every ridge and vein, every breath that hitches as he suckles gently on your nipple.

He raises his head to look at you, his pupils blown and cheeks pink.

“I’m not being pushy, but if you’re going to keep doing that, the whole losing virginity thing is going to have to be put back a little because I’m about five seconds from cumming.”

Your hand freezes, eyes wide and feeling more than a little proud of yourself. It turns out years of smutty books have paid off.

“Really?”

“You don’t have to look so smug!” he chastises you, though he can’t fight of the little smile playing on his lips.

“Do you want to?”

“Baby,” he sits up, hands kneading your thighs, “I want you. I always have. And if you’re ready, then yes, I want to.”

“I’m ready.”

You say it confidently though you both know there’s a lot of nervous courage behind those words. 29 years you’ve waited and 11 of those you’ve waited for it to be Seungcheol. Sure, you always thought it would probably be someone else, always presuming Seungcheol never even liked you, let alone loved you. But now it’s happening. Finally. And you’re caught between excitement and fear.

He leans over you to his bedside drawer.

“Wait.”

He pulls back a little to look at you, hoping he hasn’t moved to quickly.

“Can we……Not use a condom? Please?”

Cheol’s eyes widen and panic sets in your mind.                                                                                                                       

“Wait that’s stupid, ignore me. You know best…….sorry.”

“_____,” he kneels back between your legs, the drawer long forgotten. “it’s not stupid. But, you’re sure? I’m clean, I got tested when we started dating. Are you?......Wait, of course you are.” He rambles on, “I know you’re on birth control but like there’s still risks. But like I said I’ve been tested……”

“Cheol.” His eyes snap to yours, pleased you’ve stopped his rambling on.

“I want to know what it feels like. Like really feels like. I want to feel you.”

His breathing is ragged as he stares down you, dick twitching slightly at your admission.

“Lean back baby,” he makes sure you’re settled on the pillows, his hands stroking your thighs and spreading them open wider for him.

Your heart is hammering in its cage. This is it. He’s finally going to take what has always been his.

“I can’t believe we’re finally doing this, I love you so fucking much _____, so, so much.” He places featherlight kisses on every bit of skin he can, his lips travel from hip, across your stomach, over your tits until eventually, the eyes you love so much are staring into yours.

“I love you,” you whisper, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

He pulls back a little, lining himself up with you but pauses.

“You’re certain? You want this?”

Fuck you love this man more than anything. The fact he is being so careful with you, so caring, only makes you love him even more.

“I do,” your hand comes up to play with the short hair at the back of his head, “I want to be yours.”

“Oh baby,” he pushes forward a little, his bulbous tip pushing into your aching hole just a little, your whole body vibrating from that first feeling, “you always have been. Just like I’ve always been yours.”

Your breathing is heavy, his whole tip now inside you making your head spin as your fingers dig into his biceps.

“Just breathe baby,” he coos, fingers coming down to circle your clit just a little meaning he can slip into you just a little further.

You do as he says, taking a deep breath and feeling a little better for it.

“Just breathe,”

“I did.”

“I meant me that time,” his forehead comes to rest against yours, “I’m about three seconds from nutting and I’m not even halfway in yet.”

You can’t help the giggle you let slip.

“Don’t do that,” he half complains, half laughs, “you clench when you fucking giggle.”

“Sorry,” you kiss his cheek.

His hips rock, his dick moving deeper and deeper inside you each time, stretching your virgin hole so much that tears start to glide down your cheeks.

Cheol pauses when he notices.

“You good? Want me to…..”

“Don’t stop,” you whine, the pain turning more to pleasure by the second, “just..keep going.”

“Yeah?” he looks down at himself disappearing inside of you. “You like how my big dick is stretching your tiny little hole open?”

Fuck. Both of your heads are thrown back when his filthy mouth makes you clamp down on him.

“Who knew,” he rocks his hips a little faster, the wetness spilling out of you making it that bit easier, “that you liked such dirty talk? All these years I thought you were just a hot nerdm and you’re reading about fucking guns and thinking about my big dick fucking you into next week.”

“Shit!” you can’t help but scream when he finally bottoms out and that last light thrust hits you even deeper than his fingers did, “why are you s-so,” you swallow, “fucking b-big?”

You feel like you’ve been impaled on something. You always wondered what writers meant when they said someone felt full and now you fucking know. It’s like he’s moulded your cunt around him. Him sitting so snugly inside of you that it’s like he’s been your missing piece all this time, like you’ve been waiting for him to make you whole.

“I’m so big then I can hear you make all those pretty noises when you take my fat dick. Can I move?” he rushes to say, voice strained.

“Mm-mm,” you hum, nodding your head.

“Tsk,” he pouts, “use your words baby, if you can sit and read such fucking filth, surely you can say a simple yes or no.”

What the hell does he want from you?! His huge dick is inside you, your mind and body feel like they’re about to explode and now he wants you to actually form real words?!

“Yes.” You whisper.

“Sorry,” he nibbles your nipple a little, your pussy fluttering around him letting him know just what he always thought, that you like a little pain, “I didn’t quite catch that.”

“YES,” you basically cry, nails digging into his biceps and fresh tears forming in your lust blown eyes.

“Well, there’s no need to shout,”

You don’t get to answer, he pulls back so that just his tip is inside you and then slams, albeit pretty gently still, into your soaked pussy.

“Fuck,” you throw your head back, body writing and squirming at the new sensations you feel every time he slams back into you, it getting a little harder each time.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you feel incredible baby,” he gets out through a strained voice, his eyes fixed on where your bodies are connected.

You can feel every ridge and vein just like you did when you had him in your hand. But now you feel them as he bullies his way into your eager hole, you feel his thick length drag against your walls as he hits your cervix, he’s that deep inside you. You feel his balls smack into your ass every time he slams into you and it makes your whole head spin. Every little thing is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. It’s like you can focus on every tiny detail but then your mind is so fogged that you also can’t form any simple thoughts. You’re just caught in this limbo where the only thing that matters to you is Seungcheol’s dick and how fucking incredible he feels inside you.

When you finally open your eyes a little, the pain now fully gone and just a wanton need left between your thighs, you manage to take in the sight above you. Seungcheol’s eyebrows are pinched in concentration, his tongue in the side of his cheek as he grunts every time he hits the spongey spot inside you. His eyes never leaving the way his dick looks as his buries it inside you or the way your reward him with any increasing creamy ring around his dick, your pretty pussy showing him how much you need him.

“Turn over,”

“What?” you whine.

You can’t be without his dick inside you now, not when you’re already so close.

“Turn. Over.” He quickly takes his throbbing length out of you and all but rolls you over himself. “I want to see the way your pretty ass looks when you take my big dick from behind.”

“Shit,” you bury your head in the duvet.

“Come on,” he taps your thigh, “ass up. Be a good girl for me.”

You might actually die on this bed. Surrounded by hundreds of candles and bouquets of flowers. It can double as a wake you suppose.

He doesn’t give you chance to finish your thoughts, and he certainly doesn’t give you chance to kneel. Or just yanks you into the position he wants you, presses down on your back so arch for him and slams his dick back into you.

“F-fuck,” you clutch the bed sheets again.

This new angle has him hitting even deeper into you if that’s even possible. His hips crash into your ass, the sounds of wet skin slapping together drowning out whatever bullshit he had on this playlist as your eyes roll back from how amazing it feels.

His balls hit your clit just a little when he crashes into you, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulls you back onto his dick to meet his movements.

Your moans mix with his, your sopping pussy leaking all over his balls and your thighs, the wet sounds only adding your arousal. It’s like a viscous, horny circle. The more you hear the pathetic sounds of pussy squelching every time he fucks himself into you, the wetter you get. And that cycle repeats until you’re balancing perilously close to the edge of your second orgasm of the night.

“You’re taking me so well baby, just like I always knew you would.”

He pulls you up by your arm, your back meeting his chest, the feeling of his sweaty, sticky pecks and tummy meeting your skin and only adding to your arousal.

He holds you against him, one hand around your waist, keeping you where he wants you and the other moving your hair away from you ear then he can whisper his filth down it.

“For years,” he grunts, hitting even deeper into you whilst you hold his thighs behind you, because it’s the only thing you can get a good grip of, “I’ve thought about this. About ruining your pretty little cunt for everyone else.”

You’re certain you’re crying though you’ve no real idea. You’re just trying to cling onto your sanity whilst you feel his throbbing length repeatedly smash into your cervix.

“And then,” he bites your neck, trying to ground himself a little, “you tell me you’re a fucking virgin and you expect me to not want to claim this pussy as my own. To not claim you as my own.”

His dick keeps slamming and you keep whining.

“Because it is mine, isn’t it? You’re mine. Tell me this cunt is mine _____. Tell me and I’ll let you feel what it feels like when my cum hits so deep inside you, that it’ll take days to drip out of your tight little hole.”

You have actually died. It’s the only explanation for why you feel so fucking good but also like you’re at the gates of hell, this fucking devil with a god-like body behind you, whispering more and more shit into your ear that just ruins you even more.

But you’re so fucking close and he’s right, you do want to know what it feels like when he cums inside you.

So, you muster all your strength, every last scrap of sanity in your body.

“I-it’s yours,” you manage to get out.

He doesn’t say anything else, just turns your head so he can look at your face as you cum around his dick for the first time and pommels into you, your cunt dripping around him and clenching uncontrollably as you finally cum around him.

Your whole body tenses and shakes in his arms, your head thrown back on his shoulder as a wave much like a tsunami hits you. You’re cold and hot, torn between pleasure and the constant need to get more as he fucks into you again and again, like your body doesn’t know how to react to the pleasure it’s receiving. Your orgasm tips him over the edge, his body stilling a little when he slams you down onto his dick, it twitches inside you as he holds you down and cums so deep inside you that what he said earlier is sure to be true. Your body feels on fire as you feel him empty his balls inside, his body rocking gently as he rides out his high, the thrill of having his cum inside you making yours last just that bit longer.

You never thought it could feel like this, you’re numb yet your body feels like it can feel every tiny thing that’s happening to it. All you know is, you want more and more of it.

His body stills behind you as he holds you close, both of you breathless and sweaty but bodies still ringing from the pleasure.

“You good?” he whispers in your ear, placing a gentle kiss just below it.

“I’m great,” you fall forward onto the bed, a big goofy smile on your lips.

You freeze though when you don’t hear anything from him and lift your head, with much more effort than it should take, to look at him.

“Cheol?”

He doesn’t reply, just looks hungrily at your abused pussy as the first drops of him start to ooze out.

He leans forward whilst you frown at him, spreading your ass cheeks so he can see everything.

You watch in horror as leans forward.

“What you doing?” you squeal.

“Cleaning you up.”

And before you know it you feel his tongue licking every part of your pussy he can.

He can’t be serious?! You can barely even move, let alone do anything else! But the way his tongue feels, the first tongue you’ve ever felt on your pussy, makes new arousal start to gather already. Your body betraying your sex addled mind.

Once he realises you’re not stopping him, he lies on his stomach, spreads your legs completely, spreads your ass cheeks again so he can truly see his seed seeping out of you, and goes to town. He licks and sucks all over your pussy, swallowing his cum and yours until eventually your pussy drips with fresh essence that only seems to spur him on even more.

He goes between gently sucking on your clit and placing gentle little kisses all over your puffy folds, humming at being able to finally taste you and savour you just how he always wanted to.

You don’t move, mainly because you’re not sure that you can, but also due to fact that what he’s doing is bordering on relaxing. His tongue is so soothing, even though he’s bringing you closer and closer to yet another orgasm, you feel totally at peace as his pouty lips gently suckle on your clit.

His tongue flicks gently when he’s finished sucking, your hole seeping more and more as the gentle pressure builds in your stomach again and with a one last gentle lick, your third orgasm washes over you. It’s gentle, bordering on serine, just a warm buzz sparking through you like his tongue is thanking you for giving him to most precious gift you could. You.

Seungcheol swallows everything you give him, every last drop that leaves your beautiful pussy until eventually he stops and begins kissing his way up your body. Over your ass cheeks, along the small of your back and up onto your shoulder blades until he finally reaches your turned head, and he places a gentle kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you,” he whispers in your ear, kissing it softly, “for trusting me.” Another kiss, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

You lie in Seungcheol’s arms, both of you in the new fluffy robes and freshly showered, as you bite into one of the Belgian chocolates he’d bought for the night. The room is now only lit by six or so candles, Seungcheol having taken a good five minutes to blow them all out before your shower. But it’s lit enough so you get to thoroughly enjoy the look of increasing horror on your boyfriend’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he lowers your kindle, staring down at your mischievous grin, “you’re trying to say this isn’t hardcore porn?”

“No, it’s a love story. I told you.”

“_____. He’s just made her lick her own cum off his gun.”

“HEY! Don’t fucking ruin it!” you reach for your kindle, but he pulls it out of your reach.

“What happened to the sweet innocent girl that was reading Charles Dickens in the library just before Christmas break at university?”

“How do you remember what I used to read in the library? It was years ago.”

“I remember thinking I’d have to actually read something to see what made you smile so prettily,”

Your heart flutters, even now you find out little bits of the past that are entirely different from how you remember.

“If it was Christmas, it was probably A Christmas Carol,” you nod, taking another chocolate off the box on his stomach, “tiny Tim didn’t die, it was all very emotional.”

He doesn’t answer and you start to feel a little self-conscious when he just watches you eat your chocolate.

“What?” You ask slowly, lowering the chocolate from your mouth.

“Nothing, I just really love you. It’s hot when you talk about books.” He shrugs making you giggle.

“I thought I was a nerd.” You challenge.

“Oh, you absolutely are,” he pulls you into him, so your head rests on his chest, “but now you’re my hot, filthy minded, nerd, who I happen to love more than anything.”

“I love you too.” You snuggle into him, hoping to dose happily off to sleep.

What you don’t see is Seungcheol picking your kindle back up.

“Hm,” his chest hums, you not realising he’s reading out loud just yet, “you licked my gun so fucking well baby, get on your fucking knees you filthy little whore and……”

“SEUNGCHEOL, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD,” you lunge for the kindle, the chocolates flying everywhere and his cackling laugh filling the room.

You realise two things as you try to wrestle your kindle from him. One. You love him like you didn’t think was even possible. And two. You’re never letting him near your kindle ever again.

🏷️ @rutheaflowers @bramos91 @blueyedqtpie1186 @vwintershire @toohyperactiveforyou12 @cheolwoo @sejeonggggg @epelletart @wonwooslefttiddie @fwairychlo3 @4kwp @fzenn @ninigyuuu @ashlinxloves @frayaatiny @cardi-bre91 @adoreuzi

“It’s a blood smear. We’re supposed to do this in pairs. And you’re my pair, by the way,” you deadpanned, grabbing your friend’s arm as he whined when you pricked his finger for some blood. You carefully placed the small drop of Joshua’s blood into the glass slide, grabbed the second slide and placed it at a 45-degree angle before your phone buzzed again, causing you to lose your focus and fail to do your task once more.

Taking a deep breath, you tried not to crash out and scream as you grabbed your phone, unlocked it, and checked your messages from the unknown number.

???: Cheol.

???: Cheol, check this out.

???: [sent 1 attachment]

???: I got sushi from that one place just outside campus. I was thinking we could go.

???: Cheooooooooooooooool

???: dude, stop ignoring me 😐

You: I’m not Cheol, and you have the wrong number.

???: There’s no way you’re not Cheol. This is literally the number he gave me.

You: You must’ve saved the wrong number then. Please stop texting me.

???: Why?

You: Uhhh, because I’m not your friend?

???: I mean, we could be :)) 

You snorted at the logic the stranger you were texting was showing. Glancing around, you continued to text the unknown number while your PI was busy with other undergrads.

You: How?

You: For all you know, I could be a 64-year-old creep.

???: You see, you wouldn’t be saying that if you were actually that old.

???: Plus, no old man would be able to text as quickly as you do.

You: Fair enough.

You: Still, you don’t know me, and you shouldn’t really be spamming a random person’s number.

???: I thought you were my friend, so 🤷

???: Anyway, new friend!

???: What are you up to?

You: I’m in a lab right now, actually.

???: As in you’re a scientist?

You: Undergrad in the Biology department.

You: How about you?

???: Now, now… It won’t be fun if I reveal everything about myself now, will it?

You: You’re so strange.

You: I’m gonna block you now. Nice meeting you, stranger.

???: WAIT WAIT

???: I’m a journalism major. I’m assuming we’re from the same uni?

You: Why would you assume that?

???: Idk, hunch.

You: Okay… I need to go. I don’t want to get in trouble with my PI.

???: Does that mean you won’t block me?

You: I’ll think about it.

You turned off your phone, shaking your head as you grabbed Joshua’s arm again. “One more time.”

“You pricked my finger in the same spot like four times! How consistent can you be?!” Joshua complained as he held his “tortured” finger, as he called it, after you had pricked him four more times during lab. The two of you were walking from the lab towards the exit of the Biology department building to grab lunch at your usual hangout spot, which was the campus cafeteria.

As you shrugged, you shook your head at your best friend and his antics. Your thoughts were too preoccupied with the stranger whom you had texted earlier, wondering what they were up to at the current moment. Deciding to pull out your phone, you checked if they had texted you, but there was nothing.

“Waiting for prince charming to message you?” Joshua peered over your shoulder, which he immediately regretted when you elbowed him.

“I don’t even know if he’s a guy or not.” You rolled your eyes as you pocketed your phone, walking ahead as your friend followed. 

Joshua grabbed your phone from your pocket with ease, unlocked it, and checked your messages. “Totally a guy. No girl would message like this.”

“How do you know?” You muttered as you snatched your phone back from your best friend, smacking him gently as you looked through the messages again. He was right. A girl would typically not text like this, and it was just pretty obvious that a guy was texting you, but you didn’t want to assume.

The two of you continued to banter until you got to the cafeteria to meet up with Wonwoo, who had to leave earlier because of a student council meeting. Once all of you had your food, you sat down by the windows and placed your trays on the table. That’s when your phone buzzed, prompting you to check, only to get disappointed when it was an email from your professor about your data analysis report for Statistics.

Wonwoo raised his eyebrow at Joshua, who just shrugged with a fond smile before digging into his food. You noticed the glance your four-eyed friend was giving you and gave up on staying quiet.

“A random number kept texting me these past three days,” you grumbled, taking a bite out of your food. Chewing and swallowing, you continued, “And I just replied to them today during lab.”

Wonwoo raised his brows, intrigued by your situation before speaking. “So… You just ignored them for three days straight?”

“...yes?” You sounded uncertain as Wonwoo hummed, thinking before shaking his head. “What? You thought of something, tell me!”

“No, nothing. I just thought it was strange that you’d ignore them rather than just block them.” He shrugged, and you blinked at his words, realising what he meant.

Right. You usually did block random numbers, but that was when they called! And this guy did not call, so you didn’t feel obligated to block him. Plus, you were pretty curious about the mysterious texter who wanted to “befriend” you.

“Do we know any journalism majors?” You suddenly blurted out, causing Joshua to look at you with a cocked eyebrow.

“Uh, Seungcheol is a journalism major with his friend—what was his name…” he muttered, trying to recall the name of Seungcheol’s friend. “I don’t remember his name, but why?”

You shook your head, trying to dismiss Joshua’s growing suspicions. “Nothing, nothing… It’s just that he said we might be from the same uni.”

Joshua groaned at that, and you knew what that sound meant. You chuckled awkwardly, knowing it was probably a bad idea to meet up with this person without getting to know them first, but hey, at least you were trying to socialise, right?

“You are not going to meet him! What if he’s some serial killer?” You rolled your eyes at your friend’s tendency to exaggerate everything, but Wonwoo seemed to agree with him. A sigh left your lips before raising your hands, as if to say you were forfeiting the idea. For now.

“You should get to know this guy first before meeting him. Stranger danger and all,” Wonwoo murmured while cutting his pork katsu into bite-sized pieces. “We don’t want you to get into unnecessary danger.”

Your eyes softened at your friend, understanding that they were only looking out for you. Taking another bite of your food, your phone buzzed once more. Expecting another email, you unlocked your phone only to see that the unknown number sent you a picture.

???: [sent 1 attachment]

???: Lunch 😋

You: Huh.

???: What?

You: We are from the same uni, after all.

???: So, my hunch proves to be correct!

???: What are you up to?

You: I'm also in the campus cafeteria, with some friends.

???: OoOoh

You: ??

???: Nothing, nothing.

???: I'd say let's meet, but that's a little too early for that 😉

You: My friends and I were actually just talking about that.

You: Stranger danger, so… what's your name?

???: Wouldn't you like to know? What's yours?

You bit your lower lip as you looked up from your phone to check any students in the surrounding vicinity who were on their phones—almost everyone. A sigh left your lips before you typed out your name and hit send.

???: Cute name

???: I'm Jeonghan. At your humble service.

You: Jeonghan, huh? You know I could just search you up in the student files on the uni website, right?

Jeonghan: But what would be the fun in that, sweets?

You: ‘sweets’?

Jeonghan: You sound sweet, so sweets 🤷🏻

Jeonghan: Anyway, let's set up some rules!

You: For what???

Jeonghan: Since we're from the same uni and all, we're bound to bump into each other.

You: The journalism department and biology department are on opposite ends of campus.

Jeonghan: We could share classes, you never know, sweets.

Jeonghan: Anyways, rules! One, you're forbidden from searching me up on the school website and vice versa. It's more fun if we don't know what we look like for now.

Jeonghan: Two, no asking around people on campus if they know who we are. That'd be cheating. 

Jeonghan: Three, we update each other on our day-to-day to get to know each other better until we're ready to meet. And wanting to meet needs to be mutual, so if one doesn't want to, we can't meet.

You: So, you want this to be like a game?

Jeonghan: Kind of? It'll be fun :)

Jeonghan: So, what do you say, sweets?

You: What if I say no?

Jeonghan: Then I will never text you again, and we will go on with our lives as strangers.

Jeonghan: But I know you're interested, so please say yes.

You: Whatever, sure.

Jeonghan: Perfect. I knew I could count on you 😗

You: Don't ever send that emoji again, or I'm blocking you.

Jeonghan: Got it 🫡

“Having fun texting the stranger?” You almost jumped out of your seat when Joshua spoke up, prompting you to smack him.

“His name’s Jeonghan.” You glanced back at your screen to check if he had sent anything else, but there was just a gif with confetti. A soft snort left your mouth at that before you shook your head. “He's strange, but I'm only a human, and humans get curious.”

Joshua rolled his eyes, finishing his lunch as he stole a fry from your tray. “Just eat your food, you've been texting the guy for the past ten minutes. We have Statistics after this.”

A groan left your lips at that, disliking Statistics out of all of your lectures for the day. You'd rather have lab all day with your strict PI rather than Statistics with your notoriously annoying professor. You finished your lunch quickly and said goodbye to Wonwoo, who had a different lecture from you and Joshua.

“Who's got you smiling like that, dude?” Seungcheol sat across from Jeonghan as the latter cleared his throat before pocketing his phone.

“No one, what are you talking about?” Jeonghan shoved a couple of fries into his mouth, pretending like he wasn't just giggling to himself like some moron after texting you. His best friend raised his eyebrows, unimpressed as he sighed.

“You were texting her, weren't you?” Seungcheol noted the way Jeonghan glanced away, neck and ears burning as he sighed. “Dude, I gave you her number so you could introduce yourself! Not that you could convince her you had the wrong number.”

“I did introduce myself, kind of…” Jeonghan muttered, looking back at Seungcheol with a pleading glance. “I made this whole thing—I'll get to know her through texting, and we'll meet each other once we're ready—”

“Or you could just stop complicating this for yourself and introduce yourself to her like a normal human being?” Seungcheol deadpanned, crossing his arms as Jeonghan groaned. Only if it were that simple.

Jeonghan didn't have the guts to approach you and talk to you as he usually would with other people. He wasn't sure why, but something was stopping him from acting like himself—maybe it was because he didn't want to give you the wrong first impression? He couldn't figure it out, but what he did want was to get to know you better, and this was one way to do it.

He was so surprised when Seungcheol mentioned that he knew you, having taken some classes together during freshman year. He was even more surprised when Seungcheol told him he had your number. That's what got him into the situation he was in—texting you without you knowing that he was just one person away.

“Seriously, Hannie… She'll like you. You're funny, and she's a simple soul, she's practical, and if you play your cards right, she might agree on a date.” Seungcheol looked at his best friend with a sympathetic smile, but Jeonghan was convinced his way was better.

And he'd go through with this plan until he was ready to actually reveal himself.

Statistics was as boring as ever, but you promised yourself you'd actually focus this semester. While writing down your notes in your notebook, you couldn't help but feel someone's gaze on you. You turned your head in the direction you could feel the gaze from, and met someone’s eyes before they hurriedly looked away. Strange.

That’s when you noticed the person he was sitting next to. Seungcheol.

You turned back to your notes, curious about the guy sitting next to the friend you had made during freshman year. They were both probably journalism majors, so maybe they knew Jeonghan. Not like you could ask—it was a part of the rules of the game your next textmate decided to make up.

When the lecture ended, you decided to walk up to Seungcheol and his friend, telling Joshua to go ahead, and that you’d catch up with him later. 

“Hey, Seungcheol…” You greeted awkwardly, not having seen him in quite some time due to your busy schedule. 

The man in front of you immediately perked up when you came up to him, greeting you back with a hug. “Hey, it’s been a while! This is my friend Jeonghan—augh…”

“He meant Jung Han. My name’s Han. Hi,” Jeonghan murmured after elbowing his friend in the rib before shaking your hand with a smile. You gave him a small one back, letting go of his hand after a beat.

“Nice to meet you, Han. I guess, uhm… I’ll see you guys around? I still have to head to the lab to check on my samples—”

“Hannie can walk you there! He has, uh, he has a class not too far from there, yeah.” Seungcheol nudged Jeonghan forward, making you blink at both of them. You weren’t really against the idea, and Jeonghan was quite the looker.

You decided and hummed, nodding. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

The two of them looked at each other, as if they were communicating with each other telepathically, before Jeonghan smiled at you and offered his arm. “Shall we?”

The bold action caused you to snort and take his arm, telling yourself that you could get out of your comfort zone just this once.

“So, Han,” you started, and he hummed, looking down at you as the two of you walked arms linked with each other. “How’d you and Seungcheol meet each other?”

“Hmm, I think it was kindergarten. Why?” He asked back, and you just shrugged, seeming to be curious about the guy you were currently walking with. Jeonghan had this charm to him that you couldn’t place, but he seemed to be a little awkward, even when he was just walking with you.

You wanted to talk to him. You wanted to ask questions you normally wouldn’t have. Jeonghan was just that type of guy you’d want to actually get to know for some reason. Usually, you wouldn’t even be this touchy with a person you just met, putting them at arm’s length, but he just made it a bit easier to open up to. 

So, you talked. Asked questions about him like the curious researcher you were, noting everything down mentally as you listened.

When you got in front of the Biology department building, you unlinked your arm from his before smiling. “This is me… Thanks for walking me here. You really didn’t have to.”

“Nah, it was my pleasure. It was fun talking to you, swee—I mean, uhh… yeah, fun talking to you.” He scratched the back of his ear, giving you an awkward chuckle. “See you around!” 

Jeonghan gave you a salute before he turned and hurriedly walked away. You faltered, wanting to call out for him to ask for his number, but he was already out of earshot. A soft sigh left your lips before you decided to head into the building to check on your precious samples in the lab with a giggle.

“Stop fucking giggling like an evil scientist,” Joshua muttered from behind you as he smacked you with his clipboard. You frowned, rubbing the back of your head as you glared at your best friend. “So, who was the guy you had your arms linked with~?” 

You rolled your eyes, knowing Joshua would want to know about what he saw. “Nothing, Seungcheol offered him to walk me, and I agreed.”

“Just like that? You? Agree for some guy to walk you all across campus?” He raised an eyebrow, and you sighed. “What’s the guy’s name?”

“Jung Han,” you murmured, and Joshua’s eyes widened.

“Jeonghan? Like the guy you’re texting?”

“No, no—Jung Han. Two separate people. His name’s Han.” You explained, and your best friend made an ‘O’ shape with his mouth before furrowing his brows and grumbling to himself. “What?”

“I was sure Seungcheol’s friend’s name was Jeonghan, though, but eh, I must’ve misheard.” Joshua tilted his head to the side, clicking his tongue softly before dragging you into the lab room, where a few people were already conducting their research in their own workbenches. You didn’t linger on your friend’s words, focusing on the bacterial samples you had in the small lab refrigerator instead.

Twenty minutes into conducting research and writing your thesis, your phone buzzed, distracting you from your task as you glanced at the device before looking back at your laptop. You contemplated whether it was worth getting distracted, glancing around as Joshua seemed to be preoccupied with sending you random memes on Instagram. So, you decided to abandon writing your thesis to check whatever Joshua might’ve sent you before seeing a message from Jeonghan.

Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]

Jeonghan: The sunset’s pretty.

Jeonghan: Like you probably.

You: Are you flirting with me?

Jeonghan: uhhhhhhhhh

Jeonghan: If I am, would you let me?

You: I don’t know.

Jeonghan: wdym you don’t know? :( 

You: If you send me one more sunset pic, I’ll consider saying yes.

Jeonghan: [sent 7 attachments]

Jeonghan: Are these enough?

You stifled a giggle, covering your mouth before replying to his message. You found Jeonghan entertaining, so you indulged in whatever he was trying to do.

You: You’re weird, you know that?

Jeonghan: Yes, you’ve called me strange before, I know

You: [sent 1 attachment]

You: I’m in the lab conducting research right now.

You: Lowkey bored :// My best friend keeps sending me reels instead of helping me.

Jeonghan: That’s cute

Jeonghan: The Sanrio sticker on your laptop, I mean

Jeonghan: Who’s your fav character?

You: Cinnamoroll.

Jeonghan: Noted 😉

You: For what?

Jeonghan: That’s a surprise for the future, sweets.

You: What if I don’t like surprises? What then?

Jeonghan: Ehhh, I think that you do like surprises, you’re just trying to throw me off my game

Jeonghan: But that won’t work! Because I can foresee the future.

You: And that future is?

Jeonghan: You and me on a date :)

You: Right. I’m blocking you.

Jeonghan: NO— WAIT PLEASE

Jeonghan: I was too forward. I apologise.

Jeonghan: One more chance, I beg of you, sweets.

Jeonghan: No date. Unless you change your mind.

Jeonghan: Sweets?

You decided to leave him on read with that, wanting to cackle to yourself. Instead, you settled with a slightly off-putting giggle, prompting the people around you to send you side glances, which also happened to be your best friend. Joshua threw a pipette at you, hitting you square in the forehead, pulling you out of your weird state.

“Stop giggling to yourself like that, weirdo. You’re creeping me out.”

You flipped him off, grumbling to yourself as you dove back into your research with a soft smile on your lips when you glanced at the Cinnamoroll sticker on your laptop.

It was late when you got back home to your apartment, tiptoeing inside so as not to wake your roommate—Minghao—up. It had been a long day, and you were exhausted, so instead of scurrying to your bedroom, you crashed on the leather couch you and Hao had bought last year, deciding to invest in a good couch instead of keeping the old, ratty one that was provided by your landlord.

Your phone buzzed, surprising you. It was 1:04 AM. Why was he still up? You unlocked your device and pressed the notification.

Jeonghan: u still up?

You: Why are you up?

Jeonghan: Couldn't sleep 🤷🏻

Jeonghan: You?

You: Just got back from the lab.

You: I worked on my thesis and didn't realise it was late.

Jeonghan: Ahhhh, I see..

Jeonghan: Do you wanna play 20 questions?

You raised your eyebrow at that, sitting up and leaning against the backrest as you thought about it. Jeonghan was a complete stranger to you—but you just continued indulging him because he was interesting. You thought about the other Jeonghan—or Jung Han, as he insisted, but you couldn't really take it seriously. Probably coincidental that they had the same name.

You: What the hell, why not?

You: Who starts?

Jeonghan: You can :)

You: Were you serious about that date?

Jeonghan: Oho, straight to the hard questions, huh? I can't say I don't like it.

Jeonghan: Maybe… Why?

Jeonghan: U interested? 😉

You: Those two count as two separate questions, so I'll answer them and get two questions myself.

You: Nothing in particular, I was just wondering if you were serious or not, and no, I'm not interested. Not yet anyway.

You: What’s your favourite colour?

Jeonghan: 👀

Jeonghan: Woah, woah— backtrack, little lady

Jeonghan: wdym “not yet”??

You: I don't know you, so.

Jeonghan: Fair enough..

Jeonghan: Oh, and my favourite colour is black.

You: Hm.. why would you want to go out with me? You don't even know what I look like.

Jeonghan: Does it matter if I do?

Jeonghan: Don't count that as an actual question; it was rhetorical

Jeonghan: And to answer your question—why not? You're interesting, and I find texting you quite fun, even when you threaten to block me or text like a robot sometimes.

You: I do not text like a robot! 😡

Jeonghan: Sorry to break it to you, sweets, but you do, painfully so. But it's part of the charm that tugs me towards you 😉

You: Your turn.

Jeonghan: Right. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Jeonghan: Oh! What's your favourite movie?

You: I, uh… 27 dresses. And How to Lose a Man in 10 days. Both romcoms, yes.

Jeonghan: That's cute

Jeonghan: Will be sure to watch them and tell u what I think about them

You: What are your hobbies?

Jeonghan: Hmmm.. That’s a difficult question. But I like playing football (not the American one, I'm a little too unqualified for that), sleeping and taking care of my pet rock ^^

You: You have a pet rock?

Jeonghan: That's two questions, sweetheart, but yeah, I do.

Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]

Jeonghan: Its name is Doljjong :)

You: That's…

You: That’s cute.

Jeonghan: Thanks

Jeonghan: How about you? What are your hobbies?

You bit your lower lip at that, contemplating whether or not to share something so close to your heart with a stranger. Deciding not to linger on it, you typed out your answer.

You: I like to read.

Jeonghan: Just that?

You: And, uh, I guess I like to draw sometimes.

Jeonghan: Okay, okay, cool

Jeonghan: Can I ask a more personal question?

You: Uh, sure.

Jeonghan: Do you have a boyfriend?

You: No.

Jeonghan: Why not?

You: Too busy.

Jeonghan: Would you like to have one then?

You: Good night, Jeonghan.

Jeonghan: Worth a shot

Jeonghan: Night, sweets.

You sighed, chickening out before the questions got too intense, not wanting to reveal too much, too soon. Your cheeks couldn't help but warm at the incessant flirting from Jeonghan, unsure why he was so interested in your love life when he barely knew you.

“He's so weird…” You muttered to yourself as you lay back down on the couch.

“Who’s weird?” You shot back up when you heard Minghao’s voice, seeing him getting a bottle of water from the fridge.

You shook your head, dismissing his question with a wave of your hand. “Nothing, just muttering to myself.” 

That seemed to satisfy Minghao's fleeting curiosity as he padded back to his room, leaving you alone once more, your head hitting one of the throw pillows while you thought about your new contact and Jung Han.

“Seriously, you’ve been texting the guy for five days now, and you're thinking about meeting him already?”

Joshua shook his head, still disapproving of the idea of you meeting your phone pen pal. You had been texting Jeonghan for almost a week, and you enjoyed talking to him more often than you didn't. You found yourself liking his free personality, the way he seemed to just be himself through the phone, open with you as he shared little moments of his life without revealing too much. And you did the same; you gave him a piece of your peaceful life, sharing small stories about your experiences at the lab or just talking about your day-to-day, just like you agreed upon.

You found yourself truly befriending the guy who accidentally texted your number.

A groan left Joshua’s lips as he sighed. “Give it more time, get to know him better before you actually agree to something serious. I don't want you coming home crashing out because he wasn't the guy you expected him to be.” 

“What guy?” You suddenly hear a voice behind you, turning to see none other than Jeonghan Han. Your expression seemed to change when you saw him, your face a little brighter as he sat down beside you.

“Oh, uh, nothing. Just the guy I’ve been texting.” You shrugged as he rested his arm around the backrest of your chair before stealing a fry from your tray. 

You and Jeonghan had also been spending some time with each other, getting to know each other as you talked through Instagram DMs. He sent you funny memes and made sure to remind you to drink water. He was friendly and charming, but not in the same way as the Jeonghan you’ve been texting over the phone.

Jeonghan felt bad for lying to you like this, wanting to come clean, but he was in way too deep within his two personas he was showing—the strange charmer over the phone, aka the real him, and whatever this ‘Jung Han’ persona was. It was baffling how you couldn’t connect the dots. He shook it off as he glanced at you with the usual look he always sent your way—yearning and admiring. Even Joshua could notice it, your best friend clearing his throat and coughing.

“I’ll leave you two alone. I don’t feel like third-wheeling. See you during lab.” Joshua got up from his seat, giving the two of you a wave before leaving with his tray. Jeonghan chuckled awkwardly at that, while you just hummed and continued eating your food in soft silence.

“Tell me about that guy you’re texting.” Jeonghan suddenly blurted out, prompting you to pause and look at him. He seemed curious, his eyes darting around before looking back at you. 

“I… I mean, he’s nice. I like talking to him. He’s a little strange, but I guess that’s the part of his charm,” you murmured, smiling as you took a bite of your food, chewing and swallowing before continuing, “He’s asked me out about three times, but I turned him down since it’s only been five days. But we do have a few things in common.”

“Yeah? Like what?” Jeonghan’s heart seemed to clench at how enthusiastically you talked about him to him, feeling jealous of his own self for knowing more about you and not being able to voice it out. It was ridiculous.

“I know I shouldn’t want to meet up with him, but I really want to. I want to see him and talk with him about all the things I talked about. Do you… Do you get what I mean?” You fidgeted with the napkin on your tray, glancing at Jeonghan as he nodded. You didn’t seem to notice how he tensed up, his jaw clenching before he relaxed.

Jeonghan then decided to tuck a few strands of hair away from your face, making you blink and flush when he leaned in. “You like him that much?” He sounded a bit hurt, eyes softening as he continued, “What about me?”

“Wh–what about you?” You mustered out, not moving away as his fingers found your shoulder, gently touching.

“Nothing, nevermind…” He chuckled, but it sounded strained as he moved back, ruffling your hair. “I have a lecture soon, pretty, I’ll see you later, okay?”

You faltered, confused as he got up and grabbed his bag, leaving you all alone at your table, your thoughts filled with nothing but his words. What about me?

Jeonghan wanted to scream into his pillow—well, Seungcheol’s pillow. He was currently in his best friend’s dorm at Beta Sigma Tau’s fraternity house. They were supposed to be writing an article about some topic Jeonghan had already forgotten, focused on his phone instead.

“You should just tell her, man. Stop being a wimp.” His best friend turned to Jeonghan as he sighed at his whining.

“I tried, Cheol… But something in me just flaked out, and I couldn’t bring myself to break it to her. What if she hates me for it?” He sat up, hugging the pillow as he checked your messages—both on Instagram and on his number. Nothing. He wondered if you had figured it out and decided to actually block him—

Ding!

Jeonghan immediately unlocked his phone to see that you had sent him a picture.

He almost fainted on the spot.

It was you in a pretty, baby blue sundress that ended at your mid-thigh, the sleeves puffy, making you look like a modern-day princess. Your face was covered by your phone, obviously not wanting to reveal it yet, even if he knew what you looked like, but this was the first time you’d sent anything remotely involving your looks.

You: Does this dress look okay?

Jeonghan: Yes.

You: Woah, that’s a serious response.

Jeonghan: Sorry, I was just so uh

Jeonghan: Surprised, ig?

Jeonghan: But you look very pretty, sweets

Jeonghan: Are... are you going on a date, mayhaps?

You: Maybe.

You: Jk, I’m not, I just wanted to know what you thought of the dress.

Jeonghan’s heart almost dropped when he saw that first message, before you followed it up with the second one. He didn’t realise he was holding in his breath as he let it out, making Seungcheol side-eye him, but he was too focused on texting you.

Jeonghan: I think the dress is lovely

Jeonghan: Will you wear it on our first date?

You: Maybe.

Jeonghan: You and your ‘maybe’s, just say yes or no, baby

You: Pffft

You: Ask me out again.

Jeonghan: Are you fr right now?

You: If you don’t do it in the next 10 seconds

Jeonghan: Sweets, sweetheart, will you go out on a date with me?

You: Yes.

Jeonghan got up from Seungcheol’s bed, startling his best friend as he re-read your answer before screaming, “SHE SAID YES—”

“What?” Seungcheol grimaced when Jeonghan’s voice cracked as the latter started jumping around like some madman.

“She said yes, dude, I’m going out on a date with her—fuck.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, already thinking of the plethora of things he wanted to do before coming up with a whole idea of where to bring you and whatnot.

This was going to be the perfect date.

Your heart was beating out of your chest. You said yes. You said yes. To a date with Jeonghan, a stranger you just met five days ago. Usually, your instincts told you to run in the opposite direction, but this time, it was telling you not to run away. Like this was meant to happen.

The two of you had agreed that you’d see each other on Saturday, which was four days away, giving the two of you some time to prepare. Prepare for what exactly? You weren’t sure, but you definitely needed the time.

You were currently on your way home, listening to music as you managed to bump into Jeonghan. He seemed as surprised as you were; his face was slightly flushed as if he was in a rush. He murmured your name as you took your headset off.

“Hey—”

“Hi—”

The two of you said in unison as you paused and smiled with a soft giggle. Jeonghan scratched the back of his ear—something he did when he was nervous, as you noted a couple of days prior. 

You spoke up first, your expression full of wonder. “Where were you headed from?”

“Oh–uh, from Cheol’s place. We were supposed to do this one article, but I forgot the topic.” He chuckled, standing there as he put his hands in his pockets awkwardly. “I’m guessing you were going home from the lab?”

“Bingo.” You did finger guns, also pocketing your hands into your jacket. Your thoughts lingered on that moment you had in the cafeteria earlier that day, but you didn’t bother mentioning it.

Jeonghan seemed to hesitate, but spoke up after a beat, “Do you want to come over to my place?”

He blurted out, prompting you to pause. You checked your watch before looking at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, but I’m running late. My roommate wants me to eat dinner with him and his friends. We’re having Chinese. Maybe next time, though?”

“Oh—uh, yeah, sure…” Jeonghan smiled, hiding his disappointment and understanding that you had prior plans. That’s when he remembered about the party that was going to be hosted at Seungcheol’s fraternity.

“Hey, wait,” he managed to grab your wrist before you could leave. “There’s a party at Cheol—I mean Seungcheol’s fraternity this Friday.”

You blinked at him, pursing your lips slightly before cracking a soft smile. “I’m not really the partying type, Han.”

“I–I know! But we don’t have to stay downstairs. I’m sure Seungcheol won’t mind if we stay in his room. We could play Uno, or something.” He rubbed his neck, looking at you hopefully. 

You thought about it for a second before sighing softly and nodding, “Yeah, I’ll go. Just don’t leave me alone there, alright? I’m sacrificing my precious Friday lab plans for this.” You joked as Jeonghan let go of your wrist, letting you leave as he found himself groaning when you were out of earshot.

You, on the other hand, were groaning for another reason. Not only were you sacrificing your precious time at the lab, but you were also juggling between two guys at this point! You felt guilty, but at the same time, it wouldn’t hurt to go, right? You were going there as his friend.

Shaking your head, you decided to stop thinking about it as you headed back to your apartment so you could eat with Minghao, Jun, and Soonyoung.

“I’m home!” You shouted from the front door as you slipped your shoes off, padding over to the kitchen to see Minghao cooking, while Jun and Soonyoung were trying to beat your record in Mario Kart in the living room. You could smell the aroma of the food Hao was cooking, going over to the stove before grabbing a spoon from one of the drawers and trying the soup. 

Your roommate smacked your hand before you could grab another bite of the meat. “It’s not done yet, you impatient—”

Soonyoung, who called your name from the couch, cut Minghao off from cursing you out, and you smiled innocently at him before heading over to where your roommate’s friend was. “I beat your record! Give me the crown!”

“Oh yeah? Watch me beat your record—” You were about to grab the console from him when your phone buzzed. It was Jeonghan. An involuntary smile formed on your lips as you sat down on the armchair, not too far from the couch, before unlocking your phone. Soonyoung looked at Minghao, who just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]

Jeonghan: I miss you, sweets

You: Are you in the bath, Jeonghan?

Jeonghan: Uhhhhhh

Jeonghan: Yes?

You: I—Okay…

You: Also, you can’t miss me.

Jeonghan: Why not?

You: We haven’t met yet?

Jeonghan: I can miss my future girl, yk

You: Bold of you to assume I’ll be your future girl.

Jeonghan: You already agreed to go out with me.

Jeonghan: No take-backsies

You: Yeah, yeah. I know.

You: Have you planned out the date or…?

Jeonghan: Ofc I have, sweetheart

Jeonghan: Don’t worry your pretty little head abt it

You: If you say so.

You: I trust you.

You then contemplated whether or not to tell him about the party he Han invited you to. Shrugging, you decided to tell him, not thinking much of it. 

You: Also… There’s this party I’m going to.

Jeonghan: Oh?

Jeonghan: My sweet geek is going to a party?

You: I am, yes. Surprising.

You: A friend invited me, so.

You: Would you like to come?

Three dots appeared and disappeared as Jeonghan typed, making you feel anxious. Was it a good idea to invite him when you were supposed to hang out with the person who invited you? You shook your head, focusing when Jeonghan finally replied to your message.

Jeonghan: Sorry, sweets, but I’ll be busy this Friday ://

Jeonghan: As much as I wanna meet you faster, I’d rather see you during our date, having fun instead of getting wasted

You: Valid point.

Jeonghan: I do hope you have fun with your friend though :))

You: I mean… we’re probably going to his friend’s room and play Uno or something since I’m not a party person.

Jeonghan: So your friend is a him. 

Jeonghan: Cool.

You: Jeonghan, it’s not like that.

Jeonghan: 🙁

You: Jeonghan, you can’t be serious.

Jeonghan: MY FUTURE GIRL IS ALREADY CHEATING ON ME 🙁

You: I AM NOT.

Jeonghan: Gotcha

Jeonghan: You agreed that you’re my future girl 😍

You: I’m literally gonna block you.

Jeonghan: No you won’t <3

You sighed and shook your head, unable to stop yourself from smiling as Soonyoung gently nudged you with his foot. “Yah, why are you smiling like that? It’s creeping me out—Hao, why is she smiling like that?”

“She’s got a boyfriend.” Minghao rolled his eyes as you glared at your roommate. “Tell me I'm wrong.”

“He's not my boyfriend!” You argued, huffing softly as your roommate scoffed out a laugh.

“Right, and you don’t text him almost every day when you have free time.” He deadpanned, causing you to groan and threaten to throw a pillow at him before he sent you a glare back. “Plus, you bought that new dress when we went out, which means that you’re probably going to meet him soon—I’m presuming Saturday?”

“I—” You sputtered before clenching your jaw, kind of expecting this from Minghao. He just knew things, forces of the universe or whatever. Before you could even linger on the fact that he knew about your date, Soonyoung and Jun were tackling each other over the last pocky stick.

When dinner was ready and served on the table, the four of you dug in, but not before you took a picture of it and sent it to Jeonghan Han’s DMs.

You: [yourusername sent a photo]

You: Dinner with the goofs :)) 

Hannie 🩷: Have a good dinner, pretty :) 

You: thank you, Hannie :3

You: Have you had dinner yet?

Hannie 🩷: Yeah, I just got out of the shower and made some ramyeon

You: I’d say you should have more than just convenience store ramyeon, but we are broke college students.

Hannie 🩷: Exactly, pretty

You: What time should I come to the frat house?

Hannie 🩷: Oh! I’ll just pick you up from your place, if that’s okay with u

You: Yeah, I don’t mind :)) 

Hannie 🩷: Perfect :)) I’ll pick you up at 8, since the party starts at 9

You: Alright, I've got to go, my roommate is glaring at me.

You turned off your phone before you could see Jeonghan’s reply, and avoided eye contact with Minghao before he spoke up again. “Who did you send the picture to?”

“Han from Journalism…” You grumbled, and your roommate’s eyebrow cocked in confusion.

“You mean Yoon Jeonghan?” He asked, and you shot him a puzzled look. “That’s the only Han I know from Journalism. You know, Seungcheol’s friend?”

That made you pause. Jeonghan. Han. Seungcheol. Cheol. Cogs turned in your brain until everything clicked. Han was Jeonghan. You agreed to go on a date with the same person who asked you if you wanted to go to a party with him. That’s why he declined your invitation.

You groaned at not being able to realise it sooner, but you didn’t want to do anything about it for now. Jeonghan must’ve had his reasons to keep this from you, so you let it be for the time being. 

You got up from your seat, Jun perking up and furrowing his brows slightly. “Did Hao say something wrong?”

“Oh—no, I just figured something out,” you murmured, tilting your head slightly as you muttered to yourself. Before Soonyoung could add anything, your roommate shushed him.

“Leave her be, she probably figured something out about Jeonghan.”

You decided to call Joshua about this about three hours later. It was late—11:09 pm—and you couldn’t sleep. You were wearing a face mask, typing along on your laptop, when your best friend answered your call, also in the middle of his skin care routine.

“Jesus Christ, I thought you were a ghost,” he muttered, and you rolled your eyes at his eccentric comparison. “What is this about? You said it was important, but you just seemed bothered by something.”

“Jeonghan is Han,” you mumbled, and your best friend made a face, not being able to understand you.

“What? Can you repeat that? You literally mumbled it, and I’m not Superman, by the way.” He sassed, putting on his moisturiser. “Jeonghan is who?”

“He’s Han! Like—Like Han, Seungcheol’s friend!” 

You explained everything to Joshua, filling him in on everything, and by the time you were done with your rambling, your best friend was done with his skincare routine, and you were removing your sheet mask.

“That’s a lot to unpack, pipsqueak.” He sighed, shaking his head as he sat down on his office chair, propping his phone up against something while probably opening his laptop to write his thesis, just like you. “What do you wanna do about it?”

“I don’t know! I mean, I like him, but which one is the real him, you know?” You groaned softly as you buried your face into your hands without realising what you had just said.

“Wait, go back. What did you say?”

“Which one’s the real him–?” You looked at your phone screen, confused.

“No, dumbass, the other thing.”

“That I liked—oh. Oh.” You finally got what he meant, realising that you liked Jeonghan. 

You weren’t sure which version of him you liked more, but you liked him all the same. It made you realise that in the past few days, you’ve known Jeonghan as Seungcheol’s friend and as your phone pen pal, you’ve liked talking to both versions of him. The awkward dork side and the more flirty side of him.

“So, what are you gonna do about it?” Joshua repeated himself, looking at you with a knowing smile.

“I’m gonna go to that party and tell him how I feel?” You sounded unsure, feeling your insecurities grow. Jeonghan knew what you looked like all this time, but you still felt like you weren’t going to be enough for him. You also felt a bit betrayed at the fact that he knew who you were, but you didn’t know who he was—not fully anyway. But that didn’t really matter right now, your priorities set on the fact that you’d confront him during your date and not during the party, not wanting to ruin your chances with Jeonghan by cornering him.

Joshua noticed your conflicted expression and sighed. “You’re going to spiral if you overthink this, pips. And damn right you’re gonna tell him how you feel. If you get cold feet, you have to buy me those Prada sunglasses I told you about for my birthday.”

“Dude, your birthday just happened!” You whined, knowing there was no getting out of this. Not unless you wanted a dent in your bank account anyway.

Sometimes you felt like you called the wrong person when asking for advice, but Joshua was always real with you, and so was Wonwoo. But you didn’t want to impede the latter with your love life problems when all he did was game when he had the time with his busy schedule as both a biology and engineering major. It was surprising that he had time to get lunch with you and Joshua every time.

You continued to talk to Joshua until you finally decided to head to bed, bidding your best friend goodnight and ending the call. A soft sigh left your lips as you took a quick picture of your desk and sent it to Jeonghan’s phone number.

You: [sent 2 attachments]

You: Shit.

You: That second picture wasn’t supposed to get sent.

Jeonghan: Fuck, sweets

You: DON’T LOOK AT IT??

Jeonghan: YOU LITERALLY SENT IT??

Jeonghan: You look hot, though

You: I—thank you.

Jeonghan: Is it weird to admit that I got hard?

You didn’t reply to that, as you wanted to scream your lungs out into your pillow, but it was late, and Minghao would smother you with said pillow if you didn’t shut up. You were experimenting—it was supposed to be something you kept in your gallery and then deleted when you looked too hard at it. 

It was you, after your shower, posing a little too riskily for the camera, on your knees in front of your full-length mirror, wearing nothing but a tank top with thin straps, and shorts that were a little too short for your liking. Your face was covered by your phone, but it was obvious that it was meant to be for Jeonghan. You were just too much of a wuss to send it to him now that you knew who he was.

You looked back at your messages, groaning at the fact that you couldn’t turn back time and be more careful with sending pictures from your gallery.

You: That’s rather a bold statement.

Jeonghan: Okay, good you’re back

Jeonghan: Thought you died from embarrassment

Jeonghan: Though there’s really no point in being embarrassed, pretty girl

Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]

Oh, fuck. It was a picture of Jeonghan—wearing his sweats and a loose t-shirt that rode up from the position he was lying in. Bulge prominent in his pants.

You: Is that a current pic?

Jeonghan: Yeah

Jeonghan: I don’t send shit like this to anyone else, pretty

You: Do you really think I’m that hot…?

Jeonghan: Don’t do that

You: Do what?

Jeonghan: Belittle yourself. You’re pretty, hot and everything I could ever want, sweetheart.

You: Stop—

Jeonghan: You got me hard for fucks sake

Jeonghan: Do you want me to send myself jerking off just to prove it to you?

You: …

Jeonghan: Too far?

You: Send it.

Jeonghan’s breath hitched when he saw the message. Send it. Fuck. Were you really serious? He bit his lower lip as he palmed himself while looking at the picture you had sent, feeling like some creep for planning to jerk off to such a pretty photo of you. But he’d rather be sure as he typed on his phone with one hand.

Jeonghan: U srs?

You: Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?

Jeonghan: Idk, ppl usually don’t ask for dick pics, let alone someone jerking off…

You: You offered, I accepted it. Now send it, coward.

Jeonghan: You’re so mean to your boyfriend 🙁

You: Future boyfriend***

Jeonghan: I’ll take it

Jeonghan: Brb

Jeonghan shimmied his sweatpants and boxers down, freeing his throbbing cock as he hissed softly at the cold air hitting his sensitive tip. He bit his lower lip as he opened the camera app, his cheeks flushed behind it as he hit record. 

He touched his cock, stroking it gently as he rubbed the leaking precum all over his thick girth, grunting and whining softly as he imagined it was you and your pretty mouth sucking him off. Jeonghan groaned out your name as he closed his eyes before they fluttered open once more, so he could focus on recording himself fucking his fist, imagining your breasts that almost spilt out of your tank top and the short shorts that probably barely covered your ass.

“Fuck—” He grunted, feeling himself get closer as he teased his tip, but ended the recording before he could cum, just so he could edge himself. He quickly wiped his hand with a tissue from his nightstand before nervously sending the video to you.

Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]

Jeonghan: There—

You: Holy fuck.

Jeonghan: ?

You: Nothing…

Jeonghan: Sweets, I just sent myself jerking off to you, speak up

You: It's embarrassing!

Jeonghan: More than me sending a video of myself?

You: …

You: I'm soaked

You: Like, I didn't know I could secrete so much slick

Jeonghan: Abandoning the punctuation marks, that's a sign

You: Aren't you gonna ask me for anything?

Jeonghan: Not unless you're comfortable with it, sweets

You: [sent 1 attachment]

Jeonghan physically groaned, seeing the picture that you'd sent—bent over, your ass facing the mirror as you took the picture from your bed. He could see the cute posters and knick-knacks you had in your room, but he was zeroed in on your panty-covered mound, slick coating your inner thighs and your panties were soaked.

Jeonghan could feel his cock twitching, and more precum leaked out of his tip. A strangled grunt left his lips as he went back to stroking himself, and making sure he reached his release with the sight of you.

Jeonghan: so fucking pretyy 

Jeonghan: gnna bust a nut

You: Jeonghan, I wish you were here…

That was what unravelled him, a choked-out moan leaving his lips as spurts of hot cum shot out of his shaft, coating his lower abdomen and his hands. He embarrassingly snapped a quick photo of it before sending it to you in a post-nut haze.

Jeonghan: [sent 1 attachment]

You: Is that because of me?

Jeonghan: yws

You: ??

Jeonghan: Sorry, yes, I was typing with one hand

Jeonghan: Did you really mean it?

You: Yeah… I'm soaking wet, and I don't know what to do.

Jeonghan: fuck.

Jeonghan: Call me.

You bit your lower lip as you read his message over and over. Call him. Your stomach fluttered at hearing his voice through the phone, even if you knew what he sounded like, but this would confirm everything.

You hastily slipped off your panties, getting comfortable in your bed as you dialled Jeonghan’s phone number. He answered almost immediately, sounding strained and breathless.

“H–hello…?” You murmured, your phone pinched between your cheek and shoulder as you worked on teasing yourself, rubbing your inner thighs with one hand and tweaking your nipples with your other.

“Fuck… you sound so pretty.” Jeonghan's voice sent a jolt to your clit. It was him. Your theories were confirmed, but all you could do was whimper softly when you brushed your fingers against your slippery clit.

“Jeonghan—” You mewled, earning a soft groan from him as you teased yourself. “Need help…”

“I know, baby, I know… What are you doing?” He rasped out, hearing him shift on his bed. 

“Teasing myself,” you mumbled, and Jeonghan hummed, listening along with your soft gasps when you rubbed your clit. “Rubbing my clit—”

Another soft grunt left Jeonghan’s lips as you started hearing soft fap fap sounds coming from the other side of the call. “Okay, baby, keep teasing your cute little clit, spread your slick…” 

“Okay—hngh…” You mewled, eyes rolling back as you teased and rubbed yourself, your hole fluttering around nothing. “ I feel so empty, Jeonghan—”

“Fuck—put… put your fingers in, fuck yourself with two, scissor yourself, baby. Imagine they're my fingers trying to stretch you out for my cock.”

You whimpered at the command, doing as he said as you inserted two fingers into your sopping cunt, your toes curling as you started pumping your digits in and out and scissoring yourself as he told you to. You imagined him being in your room, talking you through it like he was now, touching you and whispering into your ear. 

“Curl your fingers up for me, sweetheart. Come on, it’ll feel good, I promise,” he cooed, and you listened, curling your fingers up to that spongy spot inside you. Your legs trembled, and you gasped, wanting to squeeze your thighs together as you continued to fuck yourself with your fingers. The heel of your palm grazed against your clit, making you whine as you felt the knot in your lower belly forming.

“I'm close, Jeonghannie—” You whimpered out, while Jeonghan grunted over the other side of the line, the slick sounds of him stroking his cock getting faster and a bit louder. It made you imagine the video he had sent—how big and pretty his dick looked, how he moaned out your name. It was dizzying.

“Keep doing what you're doing, baby, you're doing so well for me,” he murmured, praising you as you got closer to your orgasm. “This really wasn't the way I was expecting us to do this, but fuck, this is hot. You're hot.”

You flushed, mewling his name once more before the band in your stomach snapped, and you let out a whiny moan as your walls convulsed around your fingers, coating them with your release. Your legs trembled as you panted, your vision blurry.

“Baby, you still there?” Jeonghan crooned, and you let out a soft “uh-huh”, still recovering from the intense release you had just gone through.

“I… holy shit—” you gasped as you pulled your fingers out of your slick hole, feeling how soaked you were everywhere; you probably ruined your sheets from coming so hard just now. “I—I think I soaked through my sheets.”

“Fuck, don't say that when I'm not there—” Jeonghan sounded whiny, hearing his pout through the phone as you giggled tiredly.

“It's… It's nice to finally hear your voice,” you murmured, your eyes softening as you closed your trembling legs. Jeonghan hummed, shifting in his bed as he put his sweats back on. You moved to the less ruined side of your bed before grabbing some clean panties from your wardrobe and putting them on.

Feeling slightly awkward, you were unsure of what to say to him now that you were done getting off. “Uhm…”

“Sweetheart, you sound tense. Is it awkward to put a voice to the text message?” Jeonghan chuckled, and you let out a soft huff in reply. “As I said earlier, I… I didn't expect to do it like this.”

“Do what?”

“Have phone sex? I'm more of a hands-on person.” He admitted blatantly, causing you to inhale sharply as you imagined Jeonghan’s hands all over you. He caught on to the silence on your end, a soft chuckle leaving him as you trembled at the sound.

“Now, now… Pump your brakes, little lady. We'll get to that point. Let me buy you dinner first.” He teased, and you whined, rolling your eyes but smiling either way. 

You fiddled with the hem of your shirt, listening to his soft breathing before speaking up, “I'll see you Saturday?”

“Yeah, pretty. I'll pick you up, hm?”

“Mhm… goodnight, Jeonghan.”

“Goodnight, sweets.”

After that, you hung up, still trembling, but not because of your orgasm, but because of the excitement of seeing Jeonghan on Saturday and the dread of seeing him on Friday, pretending that you hadn't had phone sex with him. You groaned, the post-orgasm haze wearing off as your logical thinking came back. 

Friday came faster than you’d expected. You were pacing around your living room like a worrywart while Minghao and Joshua played old maid. You were wearing a baby blue blouse and a white denim mini skirt with white sneakers, wanting to somehow look pretty to the party you were going to without overdressing or looking like a hooker.

Joshua groaned when you kept walking back and forth, having had enough of your worrying. “Dude, stop worrying. You'll confront him about it when you're ready.”

“What if he figures out I know?! What if I blurt it out or something—”

“You're worrying about the stupidest of things, you know that?” Minghao deadpanned, drawing a card from Joshua as the latter groaned when he lost. “The two of you are fucking idiots.”

“Hey—” you were about to argue, but the doorbell rang, prompting you to pad over to the front door and check the peephole to see Jeonghan. Unlocking and opening the door, you greeted him with a smile and a quick hug.

“Hi,” you squeaked, earning a raised eyebrow from him as you grabbed your purse and keys. “I'm leaving!” 

You called out to your friends, and they bid you goodbye. “Don't get her near alcohol, she's a lightweight!”

Joshua warned Jeonghan, and you groaned, flipping your best friend off as you closed the door and started walking. Jeonghan offered his arm, and you gladly took it with a soft laugh.

“You look pretty,” Jeonghan murmured, his eyes softening as you flushed under his gaze. Was he always this handsome up close? Your heart couldn't help but flutter, and your body heated up a bit. 

You could handle this. Maybe.

The two of you got to the frat house about fifteen minutes later, entering the loud establishment—music boomed from the speakers, and the place was packed with drunk college students, dancing and shouting at each other to hear what the other was saying. Jeonghan led you up the stairs, opening the door to what seemed like Seungcheol’s room.

“He lives in the dorm by himself?” You looked around, surprised to see only one bed, the rest of the vast space filled with a beanbag and a small couch, along with a desk in the corner by the windows.

“I mean, we used to live together before I decided to move out. And since he's the chapter president, he gets to have a dorm to himself.” 

Jeonghan shrugged, humming uncommittally as he sat down on the bed, patting the free space beside him, causing you to gulp. Act natural. 

You sat down beside him, pretending like the brush of his knee against yours didn't just ignite your skin on fire. He was acting fine, so you should too, right? You technically didn't know Jeonghan was Jeonghan, after all. Your hands were on your lap, and you sat there as Jeonghan looked around the room to see what the two of you could do while the party got crazier downstairs, the music getting louder, and students got rowdier.

“Do you have anything we can do—”

“We can play Uno if you want—”

The two of you said in unison, looking at each other before bursting into soft laughter, and that seemed to break the ice almost immediately. You nodded at the idea of a game of Uno.

“What does the winner get?” You asked, and Jeonghan looked up as if he thought hard about it.

“Hmm, how about a kiss on the cheek?” He offered, and you squinted your eyes at him playfully before he added, “And snacks.”

“You drive a good bargain, Han…” You murmured, touching your chin as you thought about it, humming and making a face that made him laugh.

“I'll take it. The winner gets a kiss on the cheek and snacks!”

At the start of the game, you seemed to have been taking the lead, managing to get to one card first before Jeonghan just smirked and shook his head.

“You underestimate my skills, sweetheart,” he cooed, the nickname sending a jolt down your spine as the memories of last night came flooding back before it got cut short when Jeonghan placed a wild draw four card on the deck. 

You groaned, pouting slightly as you picked four cards from the deck, not having any colour Jeonghan had announced as he placed a blue eight. You picked another card, managing to place a red eight as he clicked his tongue. Your body froze when he shook his head again, placing a red skip card before a red draw two card, which caused you to retaliate with a yellow draw two card, and he clicked his tongue again.

“You sure you wanna play this game, pretty girl?” He tutted, and you looked at him with growing dread as he placed a blue draw two card, forcing you to pick up six cards, leaving him with five cards and you with ten.

Both of you went back and forth until you managed to get three cards left while Jeonghan had two. You bit your lower lip as you looked at your cards—a blue four and a red draw two card. The deck currently had a red eight card, and you were thinking whether or not to place the draw two card or to just pick another card from the deck.

Deciding to take a risk, you place the draw two card, glancing at his reaction. He kept a straight face before sighing. “Sometimes, I wonder if the forces are working against me.”

“Uno, Jeonghan. Your move.”

He picked out the first card from the deck before pausing and glancing at you. You held your breath as he picked out the two cards, having nothing to place in retaliation. He had five cards while you had one. Not like you could place the one you had, so you had to pick another card. A yellow stop card. You wanted to groan, but kept it in as you watched Jeonghan’s moves.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He looked at you with a pensive expression before he apologised, making you look at him confusedly.

“Huh–?” That’s when he placed two wild draw four cards, two wild cards and a blue reverse card, ending the game with your loss.

You just lost.

You lost Uno—the only card game you were probably good at—to Jeonghan.

“A kiss on the cheek is owed to me, my lady,” he teased, grinning as you groaned, rolling your eyes before leaning in and kissing his cheek. Jeonghan hummed at the action, and you couldn’t help but linger in his vicinity as you looked at him up close.

Jeonghan seemed to notice how you were looking at him, and his grin softened to a soft smile. “Careful, sweetheart, I might think you have a thing for me.”

That made you reel back with a flush to your cheeks, hitting his shoulder as he snorted out a laugh. That’s when he stood up, confusing you before he motioned towards one of Seungcheol’s drawers.

“He keeps his snacks here. We can eat them since he’s probably just hoarding them for when he feels like it.” He took out a bag of chips and a box of strawberry pocky. You grabbed the pocky and opened it, while Jeonghan continued to snoop in Seungcheol’s drawer before whistling lowly.

You looked at him with a quizzical brow, and he took out what looked like a blunt of weed. “Is that—”

“Sure looks like it…” Jeonghan murmured, glancing around the room before finding a lighter. “Wanna smoke it with me?”

The question hung in the air as you looked at Jeonghan. He seemed chill about the whole thing, probably had smoked weed before, but you never tried to in your four years of uni. He sat back down on the bed, leaning against the headboard, tilting his head to the side before offering you the blunt.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t smoked weed before.” 

“I haven’t.” You admitted, and Jeonghan’s eyes softened. “But I’d like to try.”

Jeonghan lit the blunt soon after your approval, taking a drag out of it and handing it to you to try. You awkwardly held the blunt between your fingers, taking a drag before you started to cough, handing the weed back to him as he patted your back while you tried to recover from the burn down your throat. 

“I—fuck, I underestimated the strength of it. Sorry,” Jeonghan apologised softly, still rubbing your back. “How about I shotgun you? It’ll be easier on you, but the effect will be weaker, so…”

“Y-yeah, I think that’ll be better.” You nodded, looking at him with teary eyes after practically coughing your lungs out. “How do we do it?” 

You asked, and he glanced away awkwardly before patting his lap. “You’ll have to get close, sweetheart. I will be exhaling smoke into your mouth after all.”

Ah. That made sense. Something in your stomach flipped as you looked at his lap before back at his face, and you made your way to straddle him, slightly hovering. 

“Inhale when I exhale into your mouth.” Jeonghan took another puff out of the blunt, taking your chin between his index finger and thumb, prying your mouth agape before blowing the smoke into your mouth. You did as he said and inhaled, taking in the smoke as you felt the weed affecting you already due to its potency.

With a couple of more exchanges, and you could feel yourself getting high, sitting snugly on Jeonghan’s lap while he talked about something random from his childhood, while you fed him pocky. The two of you had probably gone through half of the blunt before Jeonghan decided to place it down on the ashtray he had found earlier. His hands found your hips, and you didn’t mind the touch one bit as you fed him another pocky stick.

“Play the pocky game with me,” he murmured, his eyes half-lidded as you hummed and agreed without a second thought. You placed one end of the long pocky stick between his teeth while you started biting the other end, getting closer and closer to his lips. 

When your noses bumped against each other, and you were about to take the last bite, Jeonghan took the rest of the pocky stick into his mouth before stealing a kiss from you, prompting you to gasp. He didn’t seem to be sorry as he bumped his nose against yours.

“Was that okay?” Jeonghan whispered, and you nodded gently, already leaning in for more as his grip on your hips tightened. “Tell me, baby.”

“Yeah, Hannie, I liked it…” You murmured back before pressing another kiss to his lips, forgetting all about the pocky as your hands travelled to the back of his head and you tangled your fingers in his hair.

A groan left Jeonghan’s lips as he kissed you back, his hands roaming around your waist down to your thighs, pushing your skirt higher. “Fuck, is this okay?”

He muttered against your lips, fiddling with the hem of your mini skirt, his eyes searching your face for any hint of disapproval. There was none, and you only tugged gently on his hair.

“Touch me, Jeonghan…” you murmured, and a soft noise left him as you said his name. He was too high to realise, and too focused on pushing your skirt up to your hips to care.

When you ground yourself against him, he panted, his dick stirring in his sweatpants as he watched your panty-clad cunt grind against his growing erection. A curse left Jeonghan’s lips when you ducked your head down, kissing his neck as he guided your hips.

“Just like that, sweetheart, mnh…” He grunted as he saw the wet patch forming against his pants, and your panties were probably soaked from the stimulation. He leaned his head back against the headboard, dizzy with pleasure and the weed working through his system. “I want to fuck you so bad, but I can't—”

He choked out, and you whined. “Why not?”

Jeonghan's hazed brain cleared for a moment, knowing that he didn't want this to happen this way—not when you didn't know who he was yet. Not when he was pretending to be someone else.

“Jeonghan, please…” You nosed his jaw, and that's when he realised that you were calling him by his name.

“I– how did you—” He faltered, groaning when you ground down against him once more, his grip on your hips tightening once more to halt your movements. “Baby, tell me.”

“Minghao told me… I kind of confirmed it when we called that night.”

Jeonghan grunted, moving your head from his neck as he made you look at him. “You're… you're not mad?”

“Why would I be?” You murmured, a puzzled expression forming on your face. “You probably had your reasons, and I'm not going to get mad over you hiding your identity. I'm more mad at myself that I didn't figure it out sooner.”

You pouted, moving your hands from Jeonghan’s hair to his face, caressing gently. “Can you fuck me now?”

A choked-out noise came out of him as he faltered and got flustered by your blunt request. He shook his head in disbelief before shifting slightly to sit better against the headboard. 

“You're something else, sweets…” He muttered, stealing a quick kiss from your lips as his hands travelled to the gusset of your panties and tugged them to the side to see your glistening slit. His cock throbbed at the sight, wanting nothing more than to be inside your sweet cunt.

Jeonghan opened the nightstand drawer to grab the box of condoms Seungcheol usually kept, seeing that there were two condoms left. He gently lifted you so he could shimmy his sweats and boxers down to his mid thigh, his cock leaking and hard.

You watched as he clumsily opened the condom and put it on himself. Once he was done, he tossed the empty foil and tugged you closer, positioning you above his aching dick. He paused as his tip teased your entrance, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes.

“You sure you want—” Jeonghan cut himself off when you sank down on his shaft without warning, a moan leaving his lips as your wet heat clamped around him snugly. 

He watched as your thighs trembled when he bottomed out, your hips pressed against his as he raised you up and gently slammed you down, causing you to make such sweet noises that had him immediately addicted.

“Jeonghannie—” you whined, riding him slowly as he guided you, rolling your hips just right as his tip nudged against spots you wouldn't be able to reach with your fingers. “S'good—”

You looked down at him as he seemed to be focused on watching his cock disappear into your warm cunt, a groan leaving him before looking up at your face. You looked so fucked out, and Jeonghan loved it, his hips starting to meet your downward motions, thrusting up into you.

“You're perfect, sweets… everything I ever wanted—fuck, you're squeezing me so tight. You like that? Being everything I want?” He panted as he pressed soft kisses to your jaw and neck, slamming you down harder on his cock as he fucked you faster, not being able to help himself.

You felt wrecked, getting fucked so good by the same person you’d texted for over a week in his best friend’s dorm room. It was something out of a fantasy, and you couldn’t help but whimper when Jeonghan’s thumb found your clit, rubbing tight circles around the nub as he tried to lead you to your first orgasm.

“Jeonghan, fuck, I’m gonna cum—” You squeaked, feeling how your cunt got slipperier and the knot in your abdomen got tighter. 

Jeonghan only grunted at that, his assault on your bundle of nerves not stopping as he kept thrusting up into your tightness. “Cum for me then, milk my cock for what it’s worth, hm? Come on—”

You cried out when his hips snapped just right, his tip kissing your cervix as your orgasm came crashing down on you like a wave. Your thighs trembled, but you continued to bounce on Jeonghan’s cock until he blew his spend into the condom he was wearing.

“Too hot…” You grumbled, tossing your blouse onto the foot of the bed, leaving yourself in your black lace bra. Jeonghan also shed himself of his hoodie and t-shirt, revealing his lean body. He pulled out of you as he tossed the condom into the box before grabbing another one. You were surprised how quickly he got hard again, not expecting it at all.

Jeonghan flipped the two of you over, so that he was on top of you this time, kicking off his pants while undoing your skirt to toss it into the small pile of clothes that you had made on the floor. Your bra and panties joined the pile soon after, leaving both of you naked. You panted softly as he ground his cock against your slippery folds, his cockhead nudging your pudgy clit before he pushed into your wet hole once more. His grinds were slow and lazy, but Jeonghan filled you up just right as he took one of your legs and hooked it over his shoulder, managing to hit deeper spots from this position.

A soft grunt left him as he watched you mewl and whimper under him, your arm covering your eyes as your breasts bounced back and forth with each thrust. “You look so pretty,” he murmured, moving your arm and pinning it above your head, seeing your eyes glazed with tears as he cooed.

“Why are you crying, baby? Is it too much—” He almost sounded panicked, and you shook your head, not wanting him to stop.

“No–no, it feels so good, Hannie, I just—fuck, it feels so good—” You whined as your back arched off the bed, and Jeonghan couldn’t help but lean down and press soft kisses to the valley of your breasts, worshipping your body as he continued to fuck you slowly.

Jeonghan relished the way your pussy clamped around his thick shaft, sucking him in and milking him with your gummy walls. Soon, his hips started to move a bit faster, feeling his release building up with each second of being inside your needy cunt.

“I’m gonna cum,” he rasped out, his pelvis rubbing against your clit with every rock of his hips as your velvet walls continued to spasm around him with increasing vigour, signalling that you were close as well. 

It didn't take long for the two of you to reach your orgasms, with yours hitting you first and triggering Jeonghan’s as the two of you moaned softly.

“One more time, Hannie—” You keened out a whine when he pulled out, noticing how sweat sheened from his skin. He was softly panting, still holding your leg over his shoulder as he pressed a gentle kiss to your calf.

“Can't… We don't have any condoms left—” He crooked out, but you only tugged him closer when he threw the used-up condom into the box once more. His cock was still half-hard, and you were aching for more. Jeonghan murmured your name softly, chiding you when you angled your hips, so that your entrance would nudge against his bare tip. “We can't—”

“Hannie, please… I'm on birth control, I just need you inside me one more time, please.”

You begged, and Jeonghan was weak for you. He probably always had been, even when you didn't know him back then. He sighed, praying that his stamina would last one more time. “One more time, and we're done. I'm not gonna last much longer…”

He admitted, and you just nodded. He didn't have to last long, you just wanted to feel him—feel what it was like to have him raw and creaming your pussy instead of a condom. Jeonghan clenched his jaw as he pushed his tip into your bare hole and hissed softly at how wet and snug you felt without any barriers.

“Oh, fuck… I'm definitely not gonna last—” He grunted, filling you up with ease from how slick your walls and inner thighs were. “Fuckfuckfuck—”

Jeonghan groaned, his pace hasty as he drove his cock into your spasming cunt, gripping and sucking him in like a vice. His cock molded your insides, his cockhead abusing your cervix with each thrust as you squealed. 

You could feel your release building up once more, the heat in your abdomen unbearable as you clamped down on Jeonghan’s shaft, the band snapping and releasing hot slick around his length. The pleasure felt like hot lava against your skin, burning you as your back arched off the bed, making a mess out of Seungcheol’s sheets. Your pussy milked him, a milky ring forming around the base of his cock, and Jeonghan couldn’t hold it in anymore.

A guttural groan left his lips as his hips stuttered, movements stilling as he came inside you in hot spurts. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, not being able to hold in your keen whine as he filled you up to the brim until both of your mixed releases were leaking out of your used cunt to your ass down to the already messy sheets.

Once Jeonghan recovered, he pressed a soft kiss to your throat, pulling out as he watched his cum and your juices leak out of you before pushing it back in with his fingers. The action made you whimper, but you let him do what he wanted, watching him with lidded eyes.

“We made such a mess…” He grumbled with a soft chuckle, “Cheol’s gonna kill me for fucking you on his bed.”

“Future us’s problem,” you murmured, groaning deliciously at the ache of your body as Jeonghan grabbed some tissues to clean you up before crashing on top of you. “You’re heavy—”

You complained, but Jeonghan was out like a light, his breathing heavy and rhythmic as you sighed with a soft smile, drifting to take a nap as well.

At about 3 in the morning, you could hear banging outside the door. Jeonghan stirred first as he groaned, grabbing his pants from the floor before tossing his t-shirt for you to wear. You put it on, along with your panties, and when Jeonghan saw that you were fully covered, he opened the door to see a disgruntled Seungcheol.

The disgruntlement immediately switched from shock to disbelief at the sight of his bedsheets. “Dude.”

“Cut me some slack, you invited me to this party. Plus, I didn’t expect we’d fuck…” Jeonghan murmured, sheepish as he glanced at you with a soft smile and a wink that made you flush in embarrassment.

“You smoked my weed!” Seungcheol hissed, groaning as he looked around his room, noticing the half-eaten snacks, the almost-smoked blunt and the messy sheets you were currently sitting on. “Man, I was saving that pocky…”

He sulked as you looked at him apologetically. “Sorry, Seungcheol.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s his—” He pointed at his best friend with a glare before rubbing his face. “I’m crashing at Mingyu’s. I’m not going to sleep in my room for the next week. It reeks of sex and weed in here.”

Seungcheol grumbled as he grabbed a few clothes from his drawer and opened the window before muttering something along the lines of “unbelievable” and “fucking in my room”. He closed the door after himself, leaving you and Jeonghan alone once more. 

You pressed your lips into a thin line, stifling your giggles as Jeonghan covered his hand with his fist. “We should clean his room and head back.”

Jeonghan nodded at that, and you put your skirt on, still wearing his t-shirt, while he put on his hoodie before the two of you started tidying up his best friend’s room. Once you were finished, you held your blouse in your hand, leaving the room with a ‘sorry’ note with it.

Walking back to your apartment, you and Jeonghan had your arms linked together, giggling and talking about random shit. When you got to the bottom of your apartment building, he unlinked your arms, but didn’t let go of your hand just yet. 

“I’ll see you later for our date?” He asked, looking at you hopefully, and when you nodded, he sighed in relief. You cocked an eyebrow at that before he spoke up again. “I thought you wouldn’t want…”

“Jeonghan, I just had the best sex of my life. I think I’d want to still go on a date with you.”

“Just because I’m sexy? Or because you actually want to date me?” He pouted, teasing you as you rolled your eyes.

“Can’t it be both?” You compromised as Jeonghan hummed and pursed his lips, pretending to think about it before nodding.

He pulled you closer, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away. “Both is good, sweets. I’ll see you later.”

You smiled softly, letting go of his hand before waving him goodbye and heading up to your apartment, still wearing his t-shirt.

“That’s one hell of a fashion statement.” Minghao deadpanned as you jumped once you closed the front door. You turned around to see your roommate, your two best friends, and Jun in the living room, visibly waiting for you.

“What does it say?” You entertained Hao’s sarcastic remark as you tossed your blouse into your room before coming back to where they were.

“It says, ‘I was clearly laid, ask me about it because I’ll definitely brag’. It’s quite obvious.” Joshua chimed in, watching as you grabbed a pillow and tossed it at his face. Your best friend let out an ‘oomph’ sound before throwing the pillow back at you.

You huffed at them, irked at the fact that they were all gathered in your apartment. “What are you guys doing here anyway? I get Hao, he’s my roommate, but you three? Wonwoo, how’d you get dragged into this?”

Wonwoo shrugged, pointing at Joshua, “He told me what happened, and as your friend, I came for support. So, are you going to tell us what happened during the party or what?”

“This is my sex life we’re talking about.”

“And? You’ve shared worse stuff, pipsqueak. Spill the tea.” Joshua seemed the most interested in the gossip, while Minghao just sat there, looking unbothered when he was lowkey listening. Jun and Wonwoo were too busy fussing over a game on the latter’s phone, but they were tuning in as well.

You sighed, sitting down on the free armchair by the sofa, before you started telling them about what had happened during the party. Deciding to leave out the three rounds of sex, Joshua was awestruck, Minghao was subtly judging, but at the same time, he was happy for you, while Jun and Wonwoo were still busy with the game on their phones.

“Now, get the fuck out of my apartment. I need to get some sleep before my date.” You pointed at the door, and Joshua whined but dragged your Wonwoo and Jun out of your apartment, but not before Wonwoo could say something.

“I hope he doesn’t break your heart, or he has four guys to deal with.” Your best friend offered you a smile before closing the door. You smiled at the thought of your friends beating up Jeonghan if he ever fucked up, and it warmed your heart, thankful to have such good friends.

After 6 hours of sleep, you woke up around 9 am, your phone buzzing being the reason why you woke up. You checked the notifications bar, seeing Jeonghan’s name on top.

Jeonghan: Good morning :)) 

Jeonghan: Can you come downstairs? I have something for you, sweets.

You: How are you downstairs???

You: We literally saw each other six hours ago.

You: I’m still in my pyjamas.

Jeonghan: Perfect. Could I come up then?

You: Yeah, I’ll open the door for you.

You got up from your bed with a soft grunt, looking at yourself in the mirror as you felt the soreness between your legs. A soft sigh left your lips when your intercom rang, prompting you to rush towards it and open the door for Jeonghan downstairs.

When he finally got upstairs, you opened the front door, seeing him holding two cups of what seemed like coffee and tea in one hand and breakfast from your favourite bakery. “Surprise?”

“You didn’t have to—” Your eyes softened as you let him in, closing the door as he took his shoes off after handing you the bag with your favourite pastries from the bakery. “How’d you know I liked these?”

“Well, uh…” He trailed off, his cheeks dusting pink as he strided towards your couch, looking around your space a little better. “I might’ve had a crush on you before the whole wrong number ordeal.”

You blinked at him, surprise filling you as you connected the dots further—the way he seemed to be awkward and nervous around you during the first few meetings when he was pretending to be Han and his flirty behaviour over text.

“No way—” You shook your head, sitting down beside him, surprise evident in your tone. “We didn’t even know each other back then!”

“Well, you didn’t know me, I knew you. We took Statistics together last year, too.” Jeonghan scratched his cheek awkwardly when you continued to look at him with an astonished expression. “I didn’t know Cheol knew you until a few weeks ago, and that was when I gained the guts to ask him for your number and message you, pretending that I had the wrong number.”

The explanation baffled you, but it made sense at the same time before you scoffed out a laugh.

“Jeonghan.”

“Mmm?”

“You couldn’t have made it any harder for yourself.” You snorted, and he groaned before laughing softly along with you. “Like, seriously. You could’ve walked up to me and talked to me.”

“It wasn’t that simple!” He covered his face, embarrassed, but he kept smiling, a little glad that you found the situation humorous. Jeonghan sighed softly when you finally stopped giggling, shaking his head at how cute you were before noting that it was quite quiet in your apartment.

“Is your roommate not home?” He asked as you hummed, taking a bite out of the pastry in the bag.

“Minghao usually goes to the gym before going for a three-hour nature walk around the campus park. He also takes his time to meditate by the lake, so he’ll be gone for a while. Why?”

Jeonghan just shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee as he watched you enjoy your food. He could get used to seeing you like this—dishevelled after sleep, face bare and hair sticking out from multiple ends. It was cute, and he’d been dreaming of this day.

You noticed his soft gaze on you, making you feel a little self-conscious. “Is there something on my face?”

“Huh-? No, no! I just… I’ve been kind of dreaming of this day, he murmured, smiling softly.

You tilted your head to the side, puzzled, before Jeonghan continued. “You know, uh, seeing you like this—dishevelled and whatnot. Just you.”

You swallowed the food in your mouth, blinking at him. “So, my usual grouchy morning self?”

“Yes.” He nodded, leaning back against the sofa.

“You’re even weirder in person, you know that?” You grumbled but cracked a soft smile. “I can’t say I hate it. Being my boyfriend and all.”

Jeonghan blinked at the words you just said, causing you to look at him with a confused expression once more. “What?”

“Say that thing again.”

“I can’t say I hate it..?” You furrowed your eyebrows, unsure, before Jeonghan shook his head and made a circular motion with his hand as if telling you to rewind.

“No, the other thing.”

“Being my boyfrien—oh.” Your cheeks flushed, looking down at your lap as you tried not to explode on the spot for saying that. “Is… Is that okay?”

“Is— Is being your boyfriend okay? Are you hearing yourself?” Jeonghan huffed softly before grabbing your shoulders and shaking you, “Of course, it’s okay. More than okay, actually—perfect, more so.”

You grabbed his arms and stopped him from shaking you, “Okay, okay—I get it!”

Jeonghan let you go and sat back down on the couch, grabbing his coffee from the coffee table before taking a long swig from it, and placing it back down as you finished your food. Once you were done, you crumpled the paper bag, and he wiped off the leftover crumbs from the corner of your lips.

“So…” You started, curious about what he had planned for today’s date, “What are we going to do today?”

Jeonghan only smiled, winking at you as he leaned back, “That’s a secret you’ll have to unfold later, sweets. I’m not fond of ruining surprises.”

A groan left your lips, too impatient, but knowing Jeonghan, he’d stay true to his word and not reveal anything until the date. You pouted slightly before taking a sip of your tea, humming at the hot beverage filling your system.

“Not even one hint?”

“No. Not a chance, sweetheart. Stop trying to ruin your surprise.” He squinted at you before flicking your forehead, prompting you to retaliate, but he didn’t let you as he grabbed your wrists.

“What if I don’t like surprises?” You argued and tried to tug yourself away from his grasp, and he rolled his eyes, keeping you close.

“Not my problem, sweets, you’re not getting any spoilers.”

Even with your insistence on having Jeonghan give you at least one hint, he only gave you one, very vague hint, which went somewhere along the lines of “you’ll love it” and “it’s something you really like”.

That hint didn’t really help, since he asked you to wear something casual yet pretty, so you were stuck between a white sundress adorned with tiny pink flowers or a loose V-neck sweater and jeans. 

Deciding on the former, you put on the dress, matching it with your white shoes, before heading back out to the living room, where Jeonghan was waiting. He was scrolling through his phone when he glanced up and saw you standing there, your hands behind your back as you awkwardly rocked back and forth.

“Stop staring like that—” You huffed, feeling awkward as he gaped at you before snapping out of it.

“Sorry—fuck… I, uh… You look pretty.” He got up from the sofa, walking over to you and grabbing your waist. “Like, really pretty.”

Jeonghan leaned down, nosing your cheek. “Wondering if we should go on that date right now or—ow, okay, okay, sorry.”

He snickered when you smacked him, grinning as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. That's when you heard a groan behind you, prompting you to turn around and see Minghao with squinting eyes.

“The two of you better not fuck on the couch,” He muttered accusingly before heading to his room, leaving you and Jeonghan alone once more. A giggle left your lips before you patted his chest.

“Let's go on that date, shall we, my lady?” He offered his arm for you to grab, and you smiled as you took it before heading out the door.

The two of you walked to one of your favourite bookstores near campus, which you hadn’t expected for your first date with him. “Bookstore date?”

“That’s not all, sweets.” Jeonghan grinned, opening the door for you as he let you enter the establishment. “I decided to ask the staff… And they let me rent the place out for two hours.”

Your eyes widened at his words, surprised at the fact that Jeonghan managed to rent the bookstore for a whole two hours. When you entered, you saw Kimmy—one of the workers in the store—by the register, winking and giving you a thumbs-up before waving a small green flag she held by the counter to promote books with green-flag men.

A soft giggle left your lips as Jeonghan led you to the small reading nook the owners of the store had agreed to make for you since you came by so often, and it was far from the main hall of the bookstore itself, so you had some privacy. The table you had there was set with a candle, and some food—takeout from your favourite Chinese joint that you frequented with Joshua.

“You thought of everything for this date, haven’t you?” You looked at him with a fond smile, and he hummed before grabbing a baby blue bag from behind one of the chairs.

“That’s not all. Sit down and open it.” He pulled the chair back for you, prompting you to giggle once more as you sat down comfortably and pulled out what seemed like a cinammoroll plush keyring. You glanced up at him with a slightly ajar mouth before he added, “Oh, there’s also an envelope, open it.”

Without another word, you grabbed the envelope and opened it to read, “Here’s my card. You have ten minutes to look around the store and five minutes to grab the books you want. Winky face, your boyfriend.” You looked at him, dumbfounded as he only chuckled.

“We’ll do it after we eat, it’s better to eat Chinese when it’s still hot.”

The two of you ate and conversed, giggling about the stupidest things as you reminisced about the things that happened a couple of hours prior. Jeonghan seemed to notice your flushed expression, grinning slightly. “You’re thinking about what happened last night, did you?”

“Shut up—” You squeaked, stealing a dumpling from his container, and he let you as he leaned his chin on his palm, looking enamoured by the sight of you. Feeling flustered, you took a sip of your drink before clearing your throat. “I’m full, so let’s do that thing, hm? I have a few books I’ve been eyeing, and I know the layout of this building like the back of my hand.”

“I’m going to be broke, aren’t I?” Jeonghan sighed with a soft laugh when you nodded, taking one last bite of his food before getting up and taking your outstretched hand, excited for whatever activity you had planned.

After the timer ended, you managed to snag about 8 books, two of which were textbooks, which made Jeonghan raise an eyebrow at you, but books were expensive as fuck, so if you had the chance to monopolise someone else’s money, you’d use it. The other six paperbacks were romance novels, with genres ranging from romantasy to standard romcom tropes.

“You sure like romance novels, huh?” He teased, looking through one of the books’ synopses, curious about the contents of the paperback, and opening a page where the main characters were having rough sex. Jeonghan whistled softly as Kimmy snatched the book from him, rang it up and put it in the paper bag. You thanked her as you waved goodbye while your boyfriend held the bag with your haul. “Are you sure you’ll manage to read all of these? Six novels are a lot, you know?”

You snorted out a laugh, shaking your head. “It’s the weekend, Jeonghan. I have a whole Sunday free, and my Mondays usually consist of theoretical science that I can miss because the professor sends video versions of the lecture anyway. I’ll manage to binge these in a day.”

That’s when you noticed Jeonghan’s slight pout, prompting you to raise your eyebrow at him before he sighed dramatically.

“Why are you pouting?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawled, still pouting. “My girlfriend would rather spend time with books for the whole weekend instead of her boyfriend—” You smacked him, cutting him off as he stifled his chuckles. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“I mean, I could kick Minghao out for the day, and we can hang out in the living room without him side-eyeing us.” You shrugged, not thinking much of it, as the two of you walked towards the cafe, where you bought your tea from and bought some drinks before heading to the park to sit down by the small pond.

“How are you enjoying our little date so far, sweets?” Jeonghan asked, looking at you with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. You shrugged, causing him to gently nudge you. “Come on, tell me.”

“Honestly?” You looked at him with a soft yet happy smile, “It’s the best date I’ve been on in a while. You’ve outdone yourself, boyfriend.”

Jeonghan grinned, clearly happy with the praise, before he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, surprising you. “Perfect. How many boyfriend points do I get?”

“Boyfriend points?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, like… If I get enough of them, I get a prize or something.” He shrugged, making you blink at him.

“Jeonghan, we are not doing that. What are you, a toddler?” You snorted, and he made a face which you almost smacked him for again, but refrained. “We are not doing that.”

“Worth a shot.”

After your date, Jeonghan walked you back home and gave you a goodbye kiss that made you feel like you were on clouds. You felt all giddy, and you were giggling to yourself on the way up to your apartment.

Once you entered the apartment, you saw Minghao lounging around in the living room, watching something on the TV. He glanced at you before sighing, “How was the date?”

“Perfect,” you chirped, still smiling, which made your cheeks hurt. “I think he’s actually not real from how perfect the date went.”

“I’m sure you’re itching to tell someone the details, so spill.”

“You’re the best roommate ever, do I ever tell you that?” You sat down beside him after placing your paper bag with your new books on the dining table. 

“I’ve been told once or twice, yes.” He rolled his eyes, but Minghao was genuinely interested, wanting to know how your day with Jeonghan went.

“Okay, so…”

After talking about your date with Minghao and Facetiming Joshua and Wonwoo in the process, you managed to get some good night’s sleep. You couldn’t kick Minghao out for the day, so you had to cancel your plans with Jeonghan, but the two of you called for about three hours before you had to end the call because you needed food in your system.

While you prepared dinner, you found yourself texting your boyfriend, sharing memes or just talking about random messages.

Jeonghan: Whatcha cooking, good looking?

You: Just some cream pasta.

You: Reading was quite slow today. I only read 50% of the first book.

Jeonghan: That’s still a lot, sweets

Jeonghan: It’d take me about 3 days to get halfway through a book :/

Jeonghan: So, be proud of yourself for reading so much in one day

You: If you say so 🤷

You: Anyway, what are YOU up to?

Jeonghan: I’m playing video games with Cheol

Jeonghan: Kinda boring ngl

Jeonghan: Would rather talk with you ;)

You: Pfft, okay.

You: Play your silly video games with him.

You: And apologise about the weed.

Jeonghan: Just the weed?

You: And the pocky.

You: I don’t regret the sex, you know.

Jeonghan: Oh, I know ;)

Jeonghan: I’d so do it again even if we weren’t high

You: You’re evil.

Jeonghan: You like me so 🤷

You: Fair enough.

Jeonghan: I gtg

Jeonghan: Text you later?

You: If I don’t get immersed in reading, then yes.

Jeonghan: Okay, love u

You reread the message, trying to make sure you weren’t seeing things before turning as red as a tomato. He didn’t mean it like that, right? He meant it as a goodbye and not an actual ‘I love you’? You screamed into your hands, confused and flustered as hell.

On Jeonghan’s end, he was also screaming into his hands after sending you that last message, Seungcheol, looking at him with an ‘Are you fucking serious right now?’ expression. “Dude, you’re overreacting. It was just a text.”

“You don’t get it, Cheolie…” Jeonghan groaned as his best friend was more focused on the game he was playing rather than Jeonghan’s insistent whining. “I said ‘love you’ and not ‘I love you’ because I’m a fucking coward. And I wanna say it to her face, not over text.”

“Then do that?” Seungcheol paused his game, sighing softly.

Jeonghan only groaned, throwing his phone on his bed before rubbing his face from slight frustration. He wanted to do it so badly, but he felt like he’d be pushing it. “It’s too early for me to do it! I don’t wanna scare her off.”

He grumbled, and his best friend could hear his pout without even looking at him. “When did you become such a loser, Hannie?” 

Seungcheol teased, and Jeonghan glared at him, throwing a pillow at his friend.

“Shut up.”

A few days passed, and everything between you and Jeonghan was going smoothly, going on quick cafe dates in between classes, sharing lunch with your friends, or just spending time together in general. 

You were getting used to the whole boyfriend/girlfriend ordeal, not being used to having someone in your space besides your roommate. But you found yourself enjoying it more than you expected, liking the comfort of having someone to lean on for once. It felt lighter to have someone who could carry your burdens with you and vice versa.

It was a Friday afternoon, you had finished most of your lab work early and decided that Minghao had to go for the day because you wanted Jeonghan to stay over, and he just gave you an obvious look that meant ‘I know what you’re planning to do and I’m letting it slide’.

You were huddled up in a blanket, cuddling with Jeonghan on top of you while you played with his hair with one hand and read a book with the other, occasionally moving your hand from your boyfriend’s hair to flip a page. 

A soft grunt left your lips an hour into reading, prompting Jeonghan to move his head from your chest. “What is it?”

“Nothing… I mean, not nothing, I just don’t wanna move at the moment,” you grumbled softly as your cheeks burned. You didn’t want to ask him for it. No way.

“Do you need to pee or something—”

“No, no! It’s just…” You trailed off, your cheeks and ears dusting red as you tried to spit it out. “There’s a sex scene I don’t really get.”

“Ah,” Jeonghan murmured, causing you to flush further from embarrassment, before he tutted softly, “Well, that can’t do, can it? What’s the scene? Read it for me, baby.”

“O–oh, uh, okay…” You cleared your throat. “Harlan angled my hips, spreading my legs wide, teasing his cock against my slit before pushing in—”

“Okay, I got the gist of it, geez. I forgot most of those romance books of yours are in first person,” he grumbled before taking the book from you and placing it down on the coffee table before shifting slightly between your legs. “That’s just simple missionary, sweetheart. Why are you so confused?”

“Because there’s more, Hannie. Let me finish, will you?” You huffed, grabbing the book once more, and he chuckled before nodding. 

You cleared your throat again and continued, “Pushing in with one easy thrust, my pussy squelched from how wet he’d gotten me. I whined, trembling like a leaf as I pawed my enemy’s chest—”

“They’re enemies?” Jeonghan cut you off, gasping dramatically as you rolled your eyes and continued reading.

“—looking up at him so fucked out and dazed. He pumped his shaft into me a couple of times before flipping me around to my stomach without pulling out, burying my face into the pillows of my bed. He grabbed my hips up and started fucking me harder while muttering the lewdest things into my ear.”

You finished reading the part of the page, Jeonghan’s eyes half-lidded as he licked his lips. “I got the gist of it. You wanna…?”

Your thighs clenched around his hips, signalling him that you indeed wanted it. A soft groan left his lips as he slipped off the blanket from your bodies, his hands starting to roam along your hips and waist, pushing up the t-shirt you were wearing to reveal your bare breasts. He expected it, since the two of you were home, but he still enjoyed the sight. 

A whine left your lips when he leaned down, latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, suckling and gently biting while he rubbed your other nipple with his thumb, switching between them so neither would feel neglected. Jeonghan continued his ministrations until you were panting and your nipples were wet, coated with his spit and aching with pleasure.

“Gonna fuck you better than what that dumb book described, mmkay?” Jeonghan crooned against your neck, yanking your shorts and panties down your legs, and throwing them on the floor. His hand ghosted over your wet slit, teasing you as he spread your pussy lips open, watching as your tight hole clenched around nothing and gushed with slick that drooled down to the leather of the couch.

“Hannie, please…”

“Hmm? What is it, pretty baby?” He cooed. “You need to be patient. I wanna take my sweet time with your sweet little cunt this time.”

“But–but, you were gonna show me—”

Jeonghan shushed you softly. “I said I’m going to fuck you better than what was described in your book. So, be a good girl and take what I give you, hm?”

You moaned at that, nodding as he touched you with reverent caresses, whispering sweet nothings into your ear before pushing two fingers into your wet heat, scissoring your sopping cunt as it squelched lewdly at his movements. Jeonghan stretched your inner walls, feeling them snugly flutter and wrap around his digits. His palm grazed your clit just right, pulling soft whines out of you as your thighs tightened around his hips.

Once he was satisfied playing with your sweet pussy, he pulled his fingers out before shoving them into his mouth and let out a groan. When he finished sucking off your juices from them, he smiled at you. “So sweet…”

Jeonghan didn’t waste any more time, shoving his sweatpants down, freeing his heavy, leaking cock. He looked at you, begging and reaching out for him, so he decided against looking for condoms, and it wasn’t like he had any with him to begin with.

Lubricating himself with your slick, his cockhead nudged against your bundle of nerves a couple of times, causing your legs to tremble and twitch before Jeonghan finally lined himself up against your entrance. Due to how slippery your hole was, he easily slipped in, a guttural groan leaving his lips as he felt your raw cunt around his cock once more.

“Fuck, fuck—you feel so good… Your pussy is sucking my dick in so good, sweets.”

“Hannie—Jeonghan, fuck—I, I, hngh—”

You whined out, grasping the material of the oversized hoodie he was wearing before he quickly shed it, so that he could feel your nails against his skin. You nailed his upper back, causing Jeonghan to hiss in both pleasure and pain from the sharp sting. He then started gently rocking his hips into you, each deep thrust knocking the air out of your lungs. 

Your boyfriend’s eyes darted down to where the two of you were connected, and the sound of his cock bullying into your cunt was enough to make him grit his teeth and think of basketball statistics to prevent himself from coming way too quickly inside your spasming hole.

Jeonghan groaned your name softly, peppering soft kisses all over your neck and jaw before he flipped you onto your stomach without pulling out, just like what you had read in your book. Something about him easily manhandling you made your stomach flutter and your walls to squeeze around his dick as he pulled your hips up towards him, your ass up, while your face got buried in the throw pillows.

“This is what you wanted, right, baby? Getting fucked from behind like a pretty little thing in heat—” Jeonghan grunted softly as he grabbed the globes of your ass, the fat dimpling under his grip as he spread your cheeks apart to watch how his thick length filled you up. 

You could feel how his dick twitched inside you when he saw the messy white ring forming around the base of his cock, his thrusts getting slightly sloppier and harder as he licked his lips. Your moans were muffled but still loud enough to spur Jeonghan on and made him drive his cock deeper into you—hitting spots you couldn’t reach yourself. The way his tip grazed against your cervix made you squeal and push yourself back against him, your back arching slightly from pleasure.

One of Jeonghan’s hands let go of your ass cheek, moving down between your legs to rub on your neglected clit, making you keen out a whine and your hole to clench around him tightly. Your toes curled as the heat in your gut expanded and licked at your tingling nerves.

“Jeonghan—I’m… I think I’m gonna—”

“Let go, baby, let go for me.” 

You whined at that, letting go as you let your orgasm crash through you, making your back arch further as you pushed yourself closer to him, as Jeonghan’s hips stuttered when your velvet walls milked him for his cum.

A choked grunt left his lips as he stilled his motions, burying himself deep inside you as he spilt hot, thick spurts of cum into your messy cunt. Air was knocked out of your lungs as you recovered slowly, hearing your heartbeat in your ears as your vision was slightly blurred from the overwhelming pleasure.

You whined in protest at the loss of Jeonghan’s cock when he pulled out. Turning your head, you saw him panting softly, watching your leaking hole as he pushed his cum back into your used cunt. That was when he tugged you, turning you around as both of you were leaning against your heels. He caressed your cheek and kissed you softly, leading you to sit on his lap as he leaned back against the couch until he was lying down, before pulling away.

“Sit on my face.”

The request caught you off guard, unsure about sitting on his face after he had just come inside you. But he seemed set on you sitting on his face, gently yanking your hips, causing you to grind on his abs accidentally. Your sensitive clit grazed his skin, and Jeonghan moaned at the mess you were making on his abdomen.

“A–are you sure-? I don’t—”

“I’m sure, sweets, ride my face. Let me clean that cute little pussy up.” His grip on your hips gently tightened before letting go, so that you could crawl over and hover your dripping cunt over his face. Before you could even stabilise yourself, Jeonghan pulled you down, his mouth latching onto your sensitive cunt immediately. He didn’t care about your mixed juices, only wanting you and your sweet wetness.

A moan left Jeonghan’s lips as he lapped you up, tongue flat against your slit as he messily made out with your cunt. You grasped onto his hair, tugging and gripping for support as you started to grind yourself against him, his nose nudging against your clit just right, your release building up faster than the last as soft mewls left your lips as your boyfriend cleaned you up. His grip on your ass tightened, eating your pussy out with increasing vigour as he felt you clench around his tongue.

Your orgasm hit you like a wave, toes curling as you wailed in pleasure, your eyes fluttering closed as your hips stuttered against his face. Once Jeonghan was done with drinking up your juices, he easily lifted you from his face, shifting you onto his lap before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

“I guess we broke the rule about fucking on the couch.”

The two of you went over to your room after the situation on the couch. Jeonghan was peacefully napping on your bed while you were silently admiring your boyfriend, playing with some strands of his hair. Noticing your sketchbook on your desk, you decided to grab it along with your pencil and eraser before you started to sketch.

Before you knew it, you had a sketch of Jeonghan with some details, smiling to yourself, and not noticing him stirring awake.

“Whatcha smiling about?” He rasped, his voice groggy after his nap. “Are you drawing?”

He seemed curious, so you showed him the sketch. Jeonghan’s eyes softened at the sight, in awe of the piece of art you had done in such a short time. “You’re talented, sweets.”

“Thank you… It’s something I took from my mother.” You smiled as you flipped through the pages, showing him more sketches, mostly of him, which surprised Jeonghan, but he was secretly very pleased.

After giving him a glimpse of your sketchbook, you closed it before placing it on your nightstand and huddling close to him. 

Jeonghan pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder, happy in your arms. “I love you.”

The confession was soft, but full of meaning, and you couldn’t help but hug him tighter, pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

“I love you too, Hannie.”

“No take-backs. You love me.”

You could feel his grin against your skin, which made you roll your eyes before giggling.

“I do.”

FIN~

Taglist: @joshujin @wonushy @imissmyseventeen @bramos91

› author's note: i lost my mind and just wrote this. i never write drabbles but yoon jeonghan always changes my mind simply by existing LOL DRABBLE—THIS THING TURNED INTO A FULLY FLEDGED ONE SHOT HAHAKJDHKGJH THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRABBLE HAKJHF

› shoutout to @aeristudios for suggesting baby names, and for giving me the inspiration to do this, jskdfjh.

and to @coupsiedaisee for watching me spiral in real time for the yoon jeonghan. thanks. thank you for working out certain plot points with me and for proofing this! 🩵🥺

› disclaimer: minors DO NOT INTERACT. this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your blog description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂

It was only supposed to be a nap.

You and Yoon Jeonghan have been dating for a few months now. Ever since you met him, your life has turned around, and you’ve never felt luckier. Jeonghan walked into your life with the smoothness of a trainwreck—in the best way possible. One afternoon, you came out of work and started getting rained on out of nowhere. And he happened to be the only guy willing to share his umbrella.

You started talking, waiting for the storm to subside. He took your number, and you were surprised to receive a phone call the very next day. It wasn’t exactly easy to navigate the waters since you learned he was a single parent. Dating was hard enough already, and all of your friends thought you had lost your mind when you started dating a single parent in his thirties.

“I’m barely thirty,” he’d say with a laugh, the tips of his ears turning bright red whenever someone commented on it.  

Jeonghan made things feel lighter, even if his life was a complete mess sometimes. He provided you with a sense of normalcy, a sense of security. Even though you were in your mid-twenties, sometimes you worried you were on different wavelengths. But as the months went by, you found that it was easier than breathing.

Both of you fell into a rhythm. Sometimes you’d visit him, sometimes he’d come to yours with his two-year-old strapped to his hip. You’d dine together, watch some mindless TV, or play games. And whenever he could get the chance to, he’d take you out on dates, just the two of you.

Tonight, you came to his apartment straight from work. It was pasta and pizza night, and it was one of the very first nights that you would stay so late at his house. Neither Jeonghan nor you would stay at each other’s places. You weren’t quite there yet.

Typically, you’d see him wearing his clothes from work—a button-down white shirt, black pants, slacks, belt that matched his shoes. Very clean cut in his work uniform, to the exception of the pair of wacky socks he wore—like salmon pink socks with cute little potted cacti. That’s the kind of man Jeonghan was.

But when he answered the door, you were surprised by what you saw. Sometimes you would see him wearing his uniform still, but with some bits already dishevelled, like his tie would be loose around his neck and his shirt with the buttons half-undone. No. This time, Jeonghan was wearing a white oversized white tee, with bright green shorts and a white cap on his head.

And something about it made your blood stir.

But you had to remain composed. You cleared your throat as you padded through his apartment barefoot.

“What are you cooking tonight, sir?” you asked playfully, following him into the open kitchen of his apartment.

The place was small, but perfect for him and Sohee—it felt lived in, toys scattered in the living room where most of life happened. There was a creamy white rug placed in the centre of the room, a baby chair where Sohee was hyper fixating on a bag of water and peas, while Jeonghan was busy in the kitchen.

Jeonghan eyed you briefly. A smirk broke into the frown he was previously wearing. “Cooking?” he drawled slowly as he appeared to be fighting to open a bottle of wine. “Pasta and pizza. I got up at the crack of dawn to make the spaghetti from scratch with my bare hands.”

“Oh, really?” you smirked, clearly catching on to his game.

“Yeah, obviously,” he said, masking a giggle with a cough. “What, did you think I would order food and then reheat it in the oven?”

You eyed the oven, which showed you the pizza that was currently being heated up. “I would never,” you giggled softly, pushing yourself to your tiptoes to reach for a kiss.

Jeonghan tilted his head to you, aiming for you to kiss him on the lips. But coordination between you failed. In the midst of him focusing on stopping the pasta from burning, and you standing on your tiptoes, you ended up kissing his cheek.

“Stay still,” you whined, making him chuckle. Bringing a hand to cup his cheek, you fixed him in place for you to prop a quick kiss on his lips.

Jeonghan clicked his tongue. “Kiss me properly,” he complained, pouting and knitting his eyebrows in a frown.

“Pay attention to me, then,” you argued, laughing at his reaction.

“I can’t—I’m cooking,” he emphasized with half a laugh. But then he turned the stove off, quickly placing his hands on your waist to push you back against the kitchen sink. The movement was smooth, making you think that he had wanted to do this the moment he saw you walk into the kitchen.

“You are a kitchen hazard,” he huffed, his voice low, barely audible.

“Why?” you asked, laughing softly.

He tilted his head to yours, the tip of his nose bumping against your own. “Cause you’re distracting the chef,” he whispered, joining his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, almost as if he wanted just to feel your lips with his own and nothing else. Then slowly, as he kissed you again, his tongue brushed your bottom lip ever so slightly, drawing an airy moan from you.

But then, an alarm went off, snapping him back to reality. Jeonghan tensed at the sharp sound, but leaned his forehead against yours. “Dinner’s ready.”

“I’ll get Sohee,” you whispered without opening your eyes yet.

That gained you another kiss—this one was even more brief, fleeting. But it denoted the need he had to have his lips on yours. He stepped back, though begrudgingly.

This was the only push and pull you had with Jeonghan.

In all of the months you’ve been dating, you have never gone past kissing. The only times you both have been close to doing something other than kissing were the few make-out sessions where he dared to slip his hands beneath your blouse, only to feel your back or your waist.

Yoon Jeonghan was the only man in your life who exerted control over himself.

And it was confusing at times.

Not because you questioned his affection, or his desire for you. You knew he wanted you. But for some reason, he controlled himself every time things got a little too heated. And well you… you wanted this man. More than you allowed yourself to admit.

The boyish aspect he sported as he wore his cap, the laid back look… you found it too hard to resist.

But you resisted it anyway. You skirted through the living room, through the rug cluttered with toys that told a story—a train was on the ground, surrounded by little cowboys and ponies. You smirked to yourself, knowing what story Jeonghan might’ve crafted for baby Sohee moments before he got up to get dinner ready.

You lifted Sohee from her chair, mirroring the little squeal she let out as you wrapped her in your arms. “Hi, young lady,” you cooed, smiling at her as she clapped her tiny hands together. Sohee was a perfect little girl with big bright eyes, a head full of messy black hair and the cutest smile— just like her father’s.

Jeonghan had finished setting up the small round table and was approaching you with a small towel he normally used to wipe the drool off of Sohee’s chin. “She might not be hungry, though. Apparently, she ate all of her meals at day care, not just animal crackers,” he commented with a slight but noticeably contented look on his face.

You made a shocked expression, grabbing her attention fully. “She did?” you asked, and the baby giggled at your face. “That’s awesome! Daddy must be so proud of you!”

Jeonghan blinked, his gaze shifting from his daughter’s face to yours. Now, this wasn’t the first time you called him daddy, but you were beginning to notice that it had an effect on him. His eyes widened slightly, and he seemed to stumble over his words before he even uttered them.

He ended up just smiling shyly.

“Come on, let’s put you in your chair,” you said, pretending not to have seen his reaction.

As you safely put Sohee in her highchair, she held onto your hair, making fists around the loose strands and clenching them tightly as you placed her safely.

“Sohee,” Jeonghan sighed reproachfully, catching her tiny fists around your hair before you did.

“Oh—” you muttered.

But Jeonghan was quick, grabbing Sohee’s favorite cup and placing it in front of her strategically. “Look here, Sohee!” he cooed, his tone rising in a way that made you go a little feral with cuteness aggression.

But it did the trick—Sohee instantly went for her sippy cup, silently latching her mouth to it and started drinking from it.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he muttered as you stood back. Jeonghan was standing behind you, so you bumped back against him blindly, his hand falling on your lower hip by accident.

Your whole body became alight with excitement. A little too much of it. “Yeah!” you sighed, your tone sounding too high. You cleared your throat.

If Jeonghan noticed, he did not react. “Please,” he motioned to the chair for you to sit.

You sat down beside Sohee, looking at the table as Jeonghan placed the pizza at the centre. “Hawaiian pizza?” you arched an eyebrow.

Jeonghan stopped, two empty glasses in his hands as he was just about to place them on the table. “Isn’t it your favourite?” he asked, sounding horrified.

“Yes, i-it is,” you replied, face switching into a frown. “How did you know?”

He relaxed visibly, his shoulders going slack as he resumed putting the glasses on the table, then turned to grab the bottle of wine. “Well, you told me,” he said, smirking.

“I did?” you asked.

Jeonghan joined the round table, and it was small enough that he was close to you and Sohee at the same time. “Yeah, you did. Our second date, remember?”

“Uh, yeah. Totally,” you said, not hiding the evident unseriousness in your tone.

Jeonghan huffed. “Ah, you don’t remember,” he clicked his tongue again. “Maybe you should pay more attention to me,” he emphasized jokingly.

You giggled. “You’re right, it is my favorite,” you said, leaning in to place a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for remembering.”

Jeonghan smiled shyly, looking down as you pressed your lips against his cheek. He directed a long look at you as you leaned back on your chair. “Let’s hope she likes it too,” he mumbled, cutting a small piece from his slice of pizza and pinching it with a fork.

“She might not be big on it,” you mumbled softly, looking at Jeonghan as he drove the fork in front of her face. “Not everyone likes pineapple on pizza.”

He glanced at you. “You’re right about that,” he huffed playfully.

“You don’t like it?”

He shrugged, still waiting for Sohee to take the bite. “I don’t mind it,” he replied. “I just think it changes the whole meal. A snack turned into a dessert.”

“So you think pizza is a snack?” you inquired, arching an eyebrow.

“I just don’t think it’s a meal on its own, you know? It needs to have company, like pasta,” he replied with a light smile, his gaze shifting between your face to his daughter’s as she finally took the piece of pizza into her mouth.

“Oh, moment of truth,” you muttered, completely forgetting what Jeonghan just told you.

Sohee appeared to be completely intrigued by the piece of food that had just entered her mouth. She chewed, her face progressively becoming more and more interested in swallowing just to get another mouthful immediately.

“It appears she likes it,” Jeonghan mumbled happily, exchanging a look with you.

“Of course she does,” you asserted. You gave him a confident wink. “Sohee’s like me. She has good taste.”

Jeonghan smiled, content that Sohee was liking the food she was trying for the first time. But there was more in the twinkle of his eyes as he looked at you—you were able to appreciate it.

He was happy.

After dinner, you offered to tidy the kitchen as he bathed Sohee and got her ready for bed. Usually Fridays were more relaxed for you both, since none of you had to work the next day—but something about that day had left you feeling tired, and sleepy. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was work, you didn’t know.

But you were feeling too tired to drive back home, and in all honesty, you didn’t want to leave yet.

You sat on the couch, waiting for Jeonghan as he put Sohee to bed, and then you could have a moment between you two—which was probably going to end up with you watching something on TV, occasionally stopping to kiss until it got too steamy for either of you. It was usually like this. And this rhythm had you slowly falling into a steady step—familiarity.

You realized you liked it. You could get used to it.

However, tonight, your body had other plans for you.

One moment you were waiting for Jeonghan on the sofa, shutting your eyes, and the next you opened them to find yourself in his queen-sized bed, covered with a weighted blanket. 

You instantly tensed, scrambling to sit up.

Jeonghan was lying beside you, not completely asleep but not quite awake either.

The lights were off, but the curtains weren’t exactly fully closed, so you could see his face thanks to the sliver of light that slipped through the parted curtains. He lifted his eyebrows, blinking slowly at you. “Hey,” he croaked.

“Oh my god,” you mumbled. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”

In the darkness, you saw him frown. “Why are you sorry for that?” he asked, his voice soft, laced with tiredness.

You realized that he was still wearing the same clothes, sans the cap. Now, you could see his black hair, which he kept trimmed short. You gulped. “I—” you sighed, finding no excuses to give him. “I should go home.”

Jeonghan lifted his head from the pillows, still frowning. “It’s late,” he mumbled. “And you don’t have to go. You could stay.”

The air in your lungs seemed to vanish in an instant. You knew the implications of staying the night at his place—sharing a bed with him meant you taking things to the next level. A whole more intimate level.

“Jeonghan…” you muttered, but there was no reason for you to say no. You wanted to stay. And you were aching to lie down next to him.

He noticed something in your tone, the hesitation perhaps. Because he smiled softly, stretching an arm towards you. “Come,” he whispered, motioning over to his side of the bed.

You turned over, lying down in front of him. Jeonghan received you in his arms instantly, wrapping one arm over your waist and slipping the other under you, effortlessly pulling your chest closer to his.

Your breath hitched when you felt his warmth, instinctively finding his chest with your palm and pushing some invisible inches of distance between you. It was futile.  

Jeonghan started giggling, crushing his lips on your face. “You’re nervous,” he finally realized, pressing his lips repeatedly against yours. “It’s not like we’ve never slept together before.”

“No, we’ve slept naps together,” you interjected. “And on a couch. Never on a bed.”

“Imagine this as taking a longer nap,” he said, shrugging slightly.

“In a bed,” you added shakily, skirting the pads of your fingers down his chest nervously.

Jeonghan laughed, aiming for another kiss. “Mm-mmph,” he hummed against your lips.

Your pulse quickened. The kisses Jeonghan was giving you were mere pecks, lips pressing against yours repeatedly, gently. It wasn’t until a grunt escaped him, the arm perched on your waist switching so his hand could park on your lower back. He tilted his head, pushing yours so you could part your lips, giving him access.

Jeonghan had a killer factor. And it wasn’t his good looks, or that he was a great kisser, no. Yoon Jeonghan had a duality that only you knew. He could appear composed to some people, fun to others. A good father. A good co-worker. But the thing that never failed to make you want to die a little was just how sexy he could be.

And given the fact that he’d never gone past kisses made you a little crazy.

He kissed you again, now locking his lips with yours, humming into your mouth as you dared to swipe the tip of your tongue on his bottom lip. His hand slipped from your lower back, circling your waist and sliding to meet your hip. Inches closer to your bottom.

“Jeonghan,” you whispered, bringing a hand to cup the side of his neck.

“Want me to stop?” he mumbled, his tone gentle and sweet.

You moved your hand from his neck, shaking your head in tiny motions as you cupped his chin. “No—just a bit longer,” you whispered, diving for another kiss.

Jeonghan returned the kiss just as heatedly, his hand on your hip pressing slightly so his fingertips dipped into the fabric of your skirt. You didn’t even realize that he’d pushed the blanket down, or had you done it?

The sweet pecks had turned into a make-out session. It became harder to breathe, your body felt heavier and hotter. His lips were losing their gentleness, his chest closer to yours to the point it was noticeable in the shift in his breathing.

He pulled away, just slightly, so he could speak. “Tell me when to stop,” he said, his tone rising a bit in desperation. As though he was getting closer to a line he wouldn’t be able to come back from.

“Just as long as you are comfortable, I’m okay,” you whispered, still unable to get a grip on your nervousness.

Now, you weren’t completely inexperienced in sex. You’ve had your fair share of experiences, multiple partners in the past. But there was something about Jeonghan, something about his kiss that melted you away completely—it made you feel like a beginner all over again.

“Me?” he whispered, chuckling softly.

“Yeah, dummy, you,” you said, frowning slightly. “I thought you didn’t want to…”

He pulled away, getting a better look at your face. “Didn’t want to what?” he asked, matching the frown on your face with his own.

“You know,” you mumbled, shrugging with reluctance. “You always pull away when the kissing gets too much, or when your hands go too far.”

He blinked. “I never realized you saw it like that,” he said, softer now.

“Well, explain to me how you think I saw it,” you mumbled, showing him a coy smile.

He seemed to slow down. “I thought you wanted to take things slowly,” he emphasized, still speaking gently.

The statement made your mind race. All the occasions that Jeonghan left you feeling a little too hot, panting, and wet have been because he thought you were the one pulling the brakes?  “Jeonghan, what?” you asked, genuinely confused. “I thought you didn’t want to take things there yet,” you replied, hating yourself for speaking figuratively. Your face heated up.

He smiled fondly at you. “Really?” he mumbled, raising his eyebrows briefly as he leaned his forehead against yours. “You have no idea.”

Jeonghan kissed you again, your breath catching as his lips locked with yours. The arm that was under your body wrapped over your back, as the hand on your hip held you tightly. You never would’ve guessed what he was attempting to do, because when he turned over on his back, he brought your body with him too. Now, you were lying on top of him, your full body weight pressing down on his body.

You had no time to protest—not that you actually had something to protest. But this was the very first time you both dared to do something like this. And it wasn’t because of any kind of convictions you had, it was just because you both failed to interpret the assumed distance.

And now that he knew you also wanted him, it was as though he was released from a self-imposed prison.

Jeonghan let his hands roam free on your back, leaving your hips to press his palms on the line of your back, feeling you over your clothes. He hummed into your mouth as you continued to kiss him fervently, as though his lips were magnetic, calling you to him.

Suddenly, your clothes became too much. You wanted to get rid of his oversized t-shirt, the shorts. Everything. 

And Jeonghan was thinking the same, apparently. Because his hands moved further down on your body, his fingers pinched the stiff fabric of your dress shirt from your work uniform, hiking it up so he could hide his hands beneath it.

Despite his touch being cold, you welcomed it. Your body was hot, feverish as his lips continued to explore yours, his tongue meeting your own in a seamless dance. Your heartbeat was going a mile per second, so fast and so hard you could hear it thumping in your temples. It was almost embarrassing how a simple make-out session could make you feel like you were running a marathon.

It was his effect.

“Hannie,” you called, your tone honeyed and airy.

“Should I stop now?” he asked again, and you realized from his tone that he was aroused as well. It sounded low, raspy.

“No, no,” you mumbled dumbly. “Please, just give it to me. Give me everything,” you pleaded, past caring how pathetic you sounded.

But again, you wanted this man.

Jeonghan didn’t need further confirmation.

His hands slipped from under your dress shirt down and over your skirt, fully cupping your ass over your clothes. “Sit on me,” he mumbled gruffly, swallowing hard.

You let out a strangled and tiny noise from your mouth. But you followed his instruction, moving your knees to each side of his hips—not caring that the movement was hiking your skirt up your thighs, to the point that it barely covered your butt anymore.

Jeonghan didn’t skip a beat, his hand circling your neck to motion you back on his lips. You were straddling now, so it was easier to lean over him to kiss him fully. You grabbed his face with one hand, while the other slipped on the side of his head, fingernails grazing his scalp, feeling his short hair in between your fingertips.

He moaned, the sound muffled by your mouth, reverberating in your chest. It made your blood dance, arousal sizzling under your skin, your heart race even quicker. Instinctively, you pressed your hips down, accidentally grinding your crotch against his. You could feel him through your panties, the hardening bulge beneath his shorts—its warmth.

His hands gripped you harder, motioning you to repeat that same movement by pressing your hips down on him, making you feel his growing boner. You broke the kiss, but only to feel his breath on your lips. “God, Jeonghan,” you whispered shakily.

Jeonghan knew you were nervous by your tone alone. “Tell me what you need, baby,” he told you, his voice still sounding raspy.

After hearing the word baby come out of his mouth, you could not speak past this point. All you knew was his hands on you, the very evident hard-on pressing against your crotch. And Jeonghan’s warmth, the need he had for you, all of that just robbed you of words.

But you could only utter one word. “More,” you said, already knowing that without your consent, he wouldn’t do anything.

You were sure that Jeonghan could feel your rapid pulse beneath his fingertips, his hand still parked around your neck. He motioned you to his lips again, a tiny gasp spilling from his mouth when you shifted on top of him, pressing your ass on his hardened cock. It made you moan too, the sound muffled by his mouth.

His hand slipped from your neck, fingers fumbling over the buttons of your dress shirt. The second his thumb went over the first button, your core started pulsing with need and heavy arousal.

You kissed his mouth, your hand feeling his short hair while the other one felt him up his chest. His heart was beating rapidly too. You could feel it vibrating beneath your palm. His fingers continued their descent down the buttons of your shirt, undoing each one of them with great care. Like giving you ample time to stop him if you changed your mind.

But you, on the other hand, were aching for him to get it done. To get your clothes off so you could start taking his. However, Jeonghan seemed to be taking his sweet time to the point that you began to think that he was doing it to fluster you more.

As soon as the last button of your shirt came off, you pulled back from his lips, leaning back on top of him so you could get a better view of his face. His eyes roamed all over your face and body as you let the dress shirt slip off your shoulders, taking it off your arms to then discard it somewhere on the floor.

Jeonghan’s eyes widened slightly when he saw your chest, covered only by the white lace bra that you were debating to take off at that moment. But Jeonghan sat up with you still straddling him, his hands switched from your hips to your back, palms feeling you up as he reached for the line of your bra.

He looked at your face directly, his eyes reading yours as his fingers unclasped your bra. Your skin immediately prickled, a shudder running down from your nape to your tailbone. You felt his hands move, fingers reaching the straps of your pretty bra to slide them down your shoulders, then your arms.

He paused, his eyes outlining the features of your face one more time before his gaze dove into your chest. Then he leaned over, pressing a sweet kiss on your collarbone, his wet lips brushing your skin made your eyelids flutter close.

Your mouth parted, his mouth continuing to kiss down your chest, was slowly driving you insane. “Oh, Hannie,” you moaned, the sound sweet and almost pathetic.

He responded with a moan of his own, but his sounded raspy, almost animalistic. It made your blood surge, pushing you to press down on him harder. Jeonghan grunted again, this time in protest, as though you were fighting for control, and he would not allow that.

In one motion, he flipped your body over, pressing your back against the mattress. You gasped, your eyes finding him. He never handled you with such force, let alone put you down like this, because he wanted to cage your body with his.

He made no comment about your alarmed expression, but a cheeky smile drew on his beautiful lips before he dipped his head to kiss you again. You were now lying on your back, Jeonghan was slotting his body between your thighs, which you were parting for him, careless that your skirt was already up your belly.

Jeonghan slipped his hands between the mattress and your butt, finding the zipper with his fingers all too effortlessly. It made you think that he had already located the zipper way before this, which meant he’d been looking at your ass as well. The zipper came down, and his hands quickly moved the skirt down.

“I love when you wear this,” he said gruffly, pulling away to remove the skirt from your legs. “But right now, it needs to go.”

He discarded your skirt somewhere in the bedroom, and you heard the metallic sound of the zipper hitting the floor, snapping you to reality. Your hands acted on their own, finding his oversized t-shirt and pulling it over his head, which he let you do all too willingly, even helped you with tossing the shirt to the floor as well.

You giggled softly, stretching your arms to him so he could come back to slotting his hips between your thighs. Once he pressed his bare chest with yours, you wrapped your arms around him, skirting the pads of your fingers along the line of his back, feeling his skin prickle as well.

You loved that he showed no hesitation. He wanted this as much as you did, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. He initially bristled when your fingers started dancing on his bare skin, but as he let out a brief giggle, you realized that he was just ticklish and responding to your touch.

The sound alone made you go entirely feral, if you weren’t feeling like that already. You let your hands roam on his back, searching for the waistband of his green shorts, beginning to pull them down.

But Jeonghan seized your hands, grabbing them by the wrists and pinning them up your head. “Hold them right there,” he said, his tone raspy and laced with a hint of playfulness.

You did what he said, though not by obedience alone, but because Jeonghan had caged you with his body. He lowered his hips on yours, making you feel the size of his hard cock, then the warmth of his chest against yours.

He made a trail of kisses, starting from your cheekbone to your lips, then trailing down to meet the line of your jaw, the crook of your neck and your collarbones. Then, with a fleeting glance at your face, he dipped his head to kiss your chest, kissing your boobs with such deliberation that it made you think he wanted to do this for a long time. He hummed against your skin, tasting your skin as he wrapped his mouth around your left nipple.

You winced slightly under him, but then relaxed instantly when the tip of his tongue swirled around your areola, to then suckle at it and kiss it. Then he did the same with your other nipple, now the feeling was so sweet that you closed your eyes, moaning salaciously.

Jeonghan lifted his head, shushing you softly. But then he giggled bashfully. “We don’t want to wake the baby up,” he warned you, the same spark of playfulness making a return.

“Right,” you whispered, shame tingling beneath your cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “No, you’re alright,” he whispered back, pushing his forehead against yours before propping a light kiss on your lips. “You’re perfect.”

Your heart shuddered. You cupped his face with your hands, meeting his lips with your own with soft pecks. “Want to keep going?” you whispered, your tone rising a little, making you sound shy.

“Yes,” he replied with determination. He swallowed hard, but then you felt him raise his eyebrows slightly. “And you?”

“Yeah,” you replied, giggling at yourself. “I’ve wanted you for so long,” you admitted.

“Mmn,” he hummed, giving you another light kiss. “If only you knew how badly I wanted you,” he replied, matching your giggle.

“You can show me now,” you told him, your tone sweet and melted in arousal for him. “I’ll be quiet.”

“But not too quiet,” he said. “I like the way you sound.”

Something came over you, like a bright light bulb going on and off inside your brain. You smiled cheekily, even though he was still leaning his forehead on yours and couldn’t see you. “Yes, daddy,” you replied.

Jeonghan let out a sigh, and you knew that he was smiling just by the sound alone. He hummed, closing the space between his mouth and yours to kiss it. “You will be the end of me,” he told you, giggling softly.

But then he wasted no time, continuing to explore your bare skin with his lips. He returned to kissing your chest, teasing your nipples with the tip of his tongue, and he did this slowly, as though getting to know how your skin tasted, how it felt on his lips. You were sure now—Yoon Jeonghan had been wanting to do this for a long time.

You remained silent, feeling too aroused and too needy to get things done to even speak. You felt as though your tongue had grown heavy in your mouth, and you were submitted to only watch and feel what Jeonghan did to you. He saw back on his knees, his fingers hooking around the waistband of your panties.

You exchanged a glance with him, and you knew that he was asking for permission just with a look. You nodded, and he started to pull your panties in his direction, taking them off your legs. You retracted your legs, lifting your knees up for him to take your panties off completely, and left them aside on the bed.

Now, you were utterly naked on his bed. For a split second, you wondered how this situation would look from afar—pitch black in the dead of night, only a sliver of streetlight seeping through a crack in the curtains. Jeonghan, half-naked and crawling on top of your body, as you welcomed him in your arms, parting your legs for him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he drawled, pushing his lips against your own. “You don’t know how many times I imagined you here with me,” he whispered coyly.

“Yeah?” you replied in kind.

“Mm-mmph,” he hummed. “So many times. And even then, all those things I thought about don’t even come close to the beauty you are in real life.”

“Hannie,” you giggled sheepishly.

He laughed against your mouth. “My pretty girl,” he said tenderly, kissing you one more time. “So perfect. And sweet.”

Your eyelids fluttered close, as he kissed the underside of your jaw, then your neck. You sighed. “All yours, daddy.”

Now, you were sure that word had an effect on him. He let out a hum against your skin, moving to kiss your collarbones, your chest, your belly. “All fucking mine,” he said aloofly, leaving wet kisses around your belly button.

The room fell silent again, all to the exception of your quiet moans and sighs, and the smacking of Jeonghan’s wet lips as he kissed your lower tummy, inching closer to where you needed him the most.

Now, part of you was finding it hard to believe what he was doing. Even if you had experiences with other people, they were never close to the man Yoon Jeonghan was. All of your past partners seemed to shrink in comparison just by the confidence he exuded—every move was deliberate despite his initial nervousness.

And you attributed that nervousness to how much he cared about this—about taking this step with you. Because you were also nervous. You had never liked someone this much. And had never even waited to have sex with someone for so long while dating.

“Hannie,” you mumbled shakily when he kissed your mound, sending you furtive glances to check in on you.

He lifted his head, and you saw his face. His lips were swollen and wet from kissing you, his eyes darkened and half-lidded with lust. “Want daddy to eat you out, baby?”

“Oh god—” you gasped. “Yes, yes, please.”

Jeonghan only smiled in response. It was a small smile, drawing on his face slowly. He said nothing, keeping his darkened gaze on you as he moved his mouth to kiss the top of your pussy.

You blinked repeatedly, mouth parting to let out a tiny moan. Your body twitched, and you laughed at your own involuntary response as his lips pressed a kiss just an inch lower. “God, Jeonghan, please just do it already,” you pleaded.

Jeonghan grabbed your thighs, holding them open as he bowed his head between them, pulling out his tongue and running it against your outer lips. The feeling was exquisite, making your back stir on his bed, and your head sink on his pillow. Your mouth fell open, and you had to clamp your palm against it to muffle a moan.

He blinked, raising his gaze to look at you briefly before he continued licking your outer lips. You noticed he was doing this to tease you only, right before he did the real thing. He licked your outer lips, kissed them and nipped them with his lips until you were a squirming mess.

“Please, please, please,” you begged over and over, sounding even more pathetic than before.

And he obliged, even if you weren’t voicing what you actually needed. Which was his mouth on your clit. But he did this slowly, working up to it. He gave you a broad stroke with his tongue in between your folds, drinking your arousal straight from your core with a pleased moan on his part.

He licked you over and over until his mouth found your swollen clit, wrapping his lips around it once, as though kissing it only. He flicked it with the tip of his tongue, only to get you to moan and thrash under him.

But he did not comment on it, even if you couldn’t see his face, you knew he was enjoying this. He brought a hand to your tummy, placing it flat against the top of your mound and then he latched his mouth around your clit again, beginning to suckle at it.

“Oh—” you gasped, leaving your mouth open wide as he teased your clit with his lips around it, sucking and pressing his wet tongue against it, moving it slightly from side to side. “God,” you cried out, squeezing your eyes shut.

He did this for a couple of minutes, only switching the pace and motion of his tongue when your moans became raunchier.

The room was soon flooded with the sounds you made and the sounds of Jeonghan’s mouth against your dripping wet pussy. Other than that, it was dead silent in the house, and you were becoming addicted to this game of sorts, of trying and failing to keep quiet. And part of you began to think that this was why Jeonghan kept edging you with his mouth.

“Daddy, I want to cum,” you told him. Running your fingertips on his scalp, feeling his short hair underneath your fingernails. “Please, help me cum,” you pleaded, your tone raw and sweet.

Your thighs were shaking. The rest of your body was so tense with arousal, you were sure you would break. But Jeonghan gave you what you so desperately wanted—sucking and licking your clit until you reached your climax. Tension broke in your body, filling you up with sweet, sweet pleasure.

Your fingers coiled around his hair, back arching as you let your orgasm consume you. “Fuck! Yes, yes, yes, Jeonghan,” you whined quietly, pleasure robbing you of sanity as you started sobbing and shaking on his bed.

He didn’t stop, not until you began panting and heaving. He left a sweet kiss on your top mound again, lifting his head from your ruined pussy. “Felt good?” he asked.

You pushed yourself to sit on the bed, hands quickly finding the waistband of his shorts and started tugging them down with shaky fingers. “Yeah. Amazing,” you sighed, not caring how pathetic you sounded.

Jeonghan was on his knees, looking at you fumble with the remainder of his clothes. He brought a hand to cup your cheek once you got rid of both his green shorts and his grey boxers. You raised your head to meet his gaze, and you knew that he just wanted to have an image of you like this.

You bent down, grabbing his hard cock with one hand and propping a prim kiss on his cockhead. You sent him a glance, moving your lips to press them on his shaft. Jeonghan was well-groomed and had a pretty cock. It was long, and the tip matched the color of his lips. And it was warm, hard and leaking precum from his slit.

His eyelids fluttered slightly. “Lay back, baby,” he whispered.

You obeyed, moving to lie back again on the pillows as he moved on his knees slowly. His gaze roved all over your naked body as he placed his hands on each side of your head, and then lowered himself to his elbows.

You ran your palms down his chest, feeling the muscle of his abdomen clenching slightly when your fingernails grazed against his skin. But he was kissing you again, as though he couldn’t go for too long without joining his lips with your own. His breathing shifted, and your fingers wrapping around his hard cock again made him groan into the kiss.

You rolled your hand on his cock, stroking him languidly as he positioned his knees on the bed, making you open your thighs wide for him. And then you guided the tip of his cock to your pussy, rubbing his cockhead up and down your wet folds just to get a reaction from him.

Jeonghan groaned, but didn’t stop you. And when his cockhead finally notched against your entrance, he pushed his hips against yours, slipping his bare cock inside you all in one go.

The kiss was broken. Your head sank on the pillows, and Jeonghan pulled back to see your face as he stuffed you full of his cock. Your eyebrows knitted, mouth parting as you let out a silent cry.

“You’re good?” he asked you softly, but his breath was ragged already.

You wanted to say yes. You felt better than you ever had in your entire life. An exhale came from your nose; you were already fucked out.

Jeonghan nudged the tip of his nose against yours. “Mn?” he hummed gently. “Baby?” 

“I’m good, Jeonghan,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms over his shoulders. “Perfect,” you mouthed.

Jeonghan giggled, starting to move. “Yes, you are, baby,” he said sweetly. “So perfect.”

You wished you could say something just as endearing. But you were quickly robbed of speech completely. Your mind had gone blank, going from the shocking orgasm Jeonghan gave you with his mouth to stuffing you full of his cock.

Jeonghan let his head fall on the crook of your neck, using your hair to muffle a raw moan as he moved his hips against yours, thrusting his cock inside you at an insanely good and steady pace.

You had closed your eyes, letting him take you however he pleased. You were too gone, melted in a puddle of arousal—it was then you realized just how wet you were. Your skin was covered in a sheen layer of sweat, your face smeared with tears of pleasure, and you could feel your pussy dripping with a mixture of your arousal and his spit. So wet in fact that every time Jeonghan moved, you could hear it.

You had started to match Jeonghan’s moans, except that he could muffle them on the curve of your neck. You were trying not to be loud, but it was proving to be a harder task than it initially was.

Jeonghan moved his head, probably thinking the same thing you were, because he crushed his mouth against yours—kissing you so passionately that all you could think was that he was trying to get you to shut up.

But he leaned his forehead against yours, breathing raggedly as his thrusts picked the pace up. “You feel so good,” he whispered shakily. “I’m not going to last long.”

“It’s okay. I want you to cum,” you replied, letting your fingers feel his skin. His back, his lats, his hips as he rolled them on top of yours.

The moan he let out this time was raspy, but he was able to drown it out in your mouth. “Where do you want me?”

Your mind spun with the question. And you knew then—you were crazy. Because you had to be. “Cum inside me,” you said, hating the sound that came from your lips. Raw, honeyed, like a whine.

Jeonghan grunted in a near-animalistic way, his thrusts stuttering in their pace, but he kept ramming his cock in and out of your pussy. “Fuck,” he whispered. And he rarely cussed when he was with you, and that was how you knew he was growing more and more desperate. Closer to his orgasm.

“Jeonghan,” you whined, knowing now that he was just as insane as you were. You cupped the back of his head with your hands, feeling his trimmed hair in between your fingers. “I want you to fill me up, daddy. Please, please.”

He let out a long, raspy moan, his breath caressing your lips as he started gasping more, pushing his hips against yours in a languid manner. You knew he was cumming inside you, and the thought of it made you moan with him, tilting your hips for him to fuck his cum deeper into you.

Jeonghan opened his hand, finding your head to caress your hair. He was panting, his chest touching your own every time he drew in air through his mouth. His thumb started moving side to side, caressing your temple.

You were shaking, hands slipping from his head, but stopped at his neck, feeling his pulse.

Then you felt his lips over yours, making you part your lips for him to have access to your mouth. His tongue rolled inside your mouth, drawing an airy moan from you. You could taste yourself on his tongue, on his lips. The act alone made your walls clench around him.

And he felt it.

Jeonghan grunted. And for a split second, you thought you were beginning to go insane because you felt him move, pushing his hips ever so slightly against yours. But no, Jeonghan was thrusting inside you again, moving his hips languidly, so slowly.

But before you could utter a question, something, he pulled back. Now sitting on his knees, Jeonghan grabbed your hips, starting to fuck you down his cock, which was beginning to harden again.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan sighed, tilting his head back but only briefly. His gaze roved all over you, from your face to your body and down your pussy, where his cum was spilling out of your swollen and tight entrance.

You could only look at him. He had a fucked out look on his face, and you realized that his skin was also covered in a sheen film of sweat. Your gaze trailed down to his abdomen and the way it contracted slightly with each thrust of his hips against yours, to then his happy trail leading down his pubic hair, which was smeared with a creamy white string of your arousal. And he was also looking at you, where your bodies joined, where his cum was dripping out.

His cock slipped out of you, making you both emit a sound at the same time. You smiled softly at him, and he mirrored your smile back. He grabbed his cock, coated with his cum and your juices, only to drive it back in your pussy, pushing his cum deep inside your walls.

Your entire body was overtaken with an intense shudder. Jeonghan kept fucking you like this, moving your hips to meet his rapid thrusts. He was beginning to look tired, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing one of your thighs with one hand and hiking it up his shoulder.

You whined at the change in position, now you could feel his cock reaching deeper inside you at each thrust.

“Fuck,” he whispered tiredly, letting his head tilt back. “You feel so good, baby,” he repeated. “You’re squeezing me so good.”

You could only moan in response, which made Jeonghan smile, turning his face to press a kiss on the inner side of your knee. The feeling of his lips on your skin only intensified the pleasure building inside you.

“Jeonghan,” you called.

“Yes, baby?”

“Fuck me harder,” you pleaded.

It was at that moment you knew—you could never let go of this man. Because Yoon Jeonghan smiled at your request and gave in anyway. He grabbed your other leg and hiked it on his shoulder, now fucking you harder, driving his cock inside you deeper.

You let out a whine. The deeper he went inside you, the closer you felt to your second orgasm. And this time it was quicker, being so stimulated that pleasure built easily in your body. But it was the whole situation that drove you insane—trying to keep quiet while Jeonghan rammed his cock inside you, his cum spilling out of you, headboard slamming softly against the wall, everything.

“Jeonghan!” you gasped, a strangled noise coming out of you as your second orgasm barreled down your spine, so hard you had to squeeze your eyes shut and clench the blanket with your hands.

He let out a sound through gritted teeth, and you knew by the way his thrusts slowed down that he was cumming with you, too. “Fuck,” he whispered, thrusting tiredly now, sloppily. He eased your legs back to the bed, crawling back on top of your body to kiss you again.

The kiss was languid, heavy with the need to rest and go back to sleep. But you were both latched to each other, kissing passionately despite the urge to breathe properly again. You were tired, yes, but were also happy beyond belief.

You cupped his cheek as he broke the kiss with a gasp. “You okay?” he asked.

You giggled. “You have to stop asking me that,” you replied, caressing his cheek with your thumb. “Yes, Hannie. I’m okay.”

He blinked slowly, bumping the tip of your nose with his own. “Do you want to sleep now?”

You nodded. “Definitely,” you said.

Jeonghan smiled fondly at you. “Okay. But before that, let me take care of you. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied, your tone tiny and so sweet.

It made Jeonghan smile. “Alright,” he said, kissing you one more time before he peeled his body off of yours.

He climbed off the bed and walked to the bathroom. Moments later, you heard the water from the shower running. As he came back to the bedroom, you got a better view of your boyfriend. He was glorious—wholly naked, fucked out look on his face. And all yours.

“Don’t give me that look,” he said as soon as he noticed you, smiling knowingly.

“What? What look?” you asked, playing coy.

He leaned over the bed, placing his hands at each side of your face. “The kind of look that makes me want to climb up here and keep making love to you all night long.” 

You giggled amusedly. “Jeonghan, you’re threatening me with a good time.”

He smirked. “Oh, darling. And I haven’t even started with you,” he said, pressing a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

A tingling sensation shot down, straight to your core.

Jeonghan must’ve caught a reaction on your face, because he only giggled. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

Once back in the bedroom, your tummy twisted anxiously when you saw the aftermath of what you had done—clothes scattered on the floor, the blanket tousled on one side of the bed and the messy covers and pillows.

You began to pick the clothes from the floor, gathering them in a neat pile while Jeonghan checked in on Sohee quickly. When he came back, your tummy fluttered again. He looked different, recently showered and ready to sleep, a different side to his confident face.

He had given you a t-shirt to wear and also offered to lend you sweatpants, which you declined, given that his t-shirt was already oversized and almost reached your knees.

A part of you felt different now. Not bad, exactly. Like you had reached the end of a chapter and were now beginning another. You and Jeonghan had had this routine of sorts for months before you started a sexual relationship, but it just felt so different now. It made you nervous.

Would he look at you differently now?

“Is something wrong?” Jeonghan asked, the sound of his voice snapping you out of your thoughts.

Jeonghan was opening the bedcovers and sheets for you both, motioning you over with his head.

“No. Nothing’s wrong,” you replied, trying your best to mask your self-doubt. You crossed the bedroom and slipped into the bed.

When Jeonghan clicked his tongue, you realized that you had taken a space that was far from his usual spot on his bed. “Come here,” he giggled softly, noticing your shyness now.

“Sorry,” you whispered, cuddling up to him. “Force of habit.”

“Mmn, yeah,” he muttered, looking at you as you leaned your head on his shoulder. He emitted a soft laugh, wrapping an arm around you. “Not anymore. Mkay?”

“Okay,” you replied, letting your worries go.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

You moved your head on his chest to look at him briefly. “Of course.”

“Why did you think I wanted to take things slow?” he asked. His tone was soft, quiet.

You blinked. “Because I thought you didn’t want to risk things changing between us…” You trailed off. “You know? You have a lot on your plate with Sohee and your ex.”

The last word spilled from you like a curse.

You and Jeonghan always skirted around that topic of conversation. All you knew was that Jeonghan had a very fleeting relationship with Sohee’s mother, and it ended up with her getting pregnant. Jeonghan had full custody of Sohee, and you had also come to learn that his ex only liked to appear in both Jeonghan’s and Sohee’s lives sporadically. But on those occasions, she always seemed to make it a living hell for him.

Jeonghan blinked, and you knew your words had left a heavy impact on him.

Your heart squeezed. “I shouldn’t have,” you added nervously, looking away. “I’m so sorry.”

A pause.

Jeonghan slipped his fingers beneath your chin, tilting your head up to meet your eye again. “No,” he mumbled. “We can talk about it.”

“Okay,” you whispered shakily.

“I don’t want you to think that there are things we can’t talk about, you know?” he said, worry beginning to set into the features of his face. “And maybe I’m to blame here, because I didn’t want to bombard you with my stuff.”

“What do you mean?” you said.

Jeonghan sighed, and it wasn’t out of tiredness or exasperation. He was looking for the words to say. “When I met you, I was terrified of some things. I debated whether to tell you about Sohee on the first date. I just didn’t want to say something that would scare you away,” he lowered his gaze briefly. “And I debated even more on telling you about my ex.”

“But you did tell me about Sohee on our first date,” you reminded him, frowning a little. “And about your ex on our second date.”

Jeonghan smirked slowly. “So you do remember our second date.”

“Of course I do, dummy,” you said. And then it clicked. You didn’t remember telling Jeonghan about your favorite kind of pizza because he had just told you about his evil ex. And that was his way of changing the topic. “I must’ve been digesting a lot of information while we talked about Hawaiian pizza, you know?”

He offered you a solemn look. “And you still stuck around. You could’ve walked away, but you didn’t,” he whispered, looking at you longingly. “You still haven’t.”  

You parted your mouth. “I don’t think I want to, Jeonghan,” you replied in kind.

His gaze softened. “If something happens, will you talk about it with me?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” you mouthed. “Can I ask you now?”

Jeonghan nodded, blinking at you sleepily.

“Why did you think I wanted to take things slow?”

“Same thing,” he responded reluctantly at first. He let out a sigh. “I thought you didn’t want things to get messy, you know? I have a kid and I’m alone in this. I didn’t want to hold it against you if you didn’t want to get sexually involved with me.”

A smile broke into the features of your face. You pushed yourself up to kiss him tenderly. “You’re such a dummy,” you whispered.

“Me?” he giggled, holding you closer so he could press another kiss on your lips. “What did I do?”

“I’ve wanted you from the moment we met,” you told him, and it was the truth.

“How was I supposed to know?” he said, clearly clueless.

“I thought you always noticed,” you said, still in disbelief.

“But you never said anything.”

“Jeonghan,” you deadpanned. “I really like you. Like really, really like you.”

He smiled sheepishly, blinking slowly. “Well, I know that. I really like you too. I just wanted to wait until you felt ready to take things to the next level.”

“Babe, I literally called you daddy and let you cum inside me not only once, but twice,” you told him with a flat tone.

Jeonghan almost choked on his laughter. “Sweetheart! You can’t just say those things,” he said, sounding both scandalized and amused.

“Why not?” you said, clicking your tongue. “You’re always saying weird stuff as well.”

“Really?” he said, and you nodded at him. “Am I weird?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, I’m weird then,” he said with a faux defeated tone.

“You’re weird like pineapple on pizza,” you said. “Sweet and salty at the same time.”

He emitted a low chuckle. “That’s really corny, babe. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you. I work hard on my metaphors,” you replied primly.

“I’ll give this metaphor a seven out of ten,” he smirked.

You gasped. “Admit it, you love my metaphors.”

“Yeah, like I love pineapple on pizza,” he said, letting the sarcasm coat his words. He brushed his fingers down the line of your jaw, looking at you fondly. “You’re weird too.”

“The kind of weird that matches yours,” you said confidently.

Jeonghan smirked, closing the space between his lips and yours. “Absolutely.” 

› author's note pt. 2: i need to give him a kid. or kids, plural. like asap, please. i'm begging 😭

i literally wrote this in between calls from work. like it literally took me 24 hours to write this, no joke. jeonghan just drives me insane. i have no explanation for this 🧍🏻‍♀️ i might just be ovulating but let's be real — i'm always thinking about jeonghan, and right now the baby fever is going wild. you'll see in future fics lololol

i want to thank you all for being here and for reading so far!! i recently gave away 25 free spots on my patreon!! i'm so excited hehe, i might giveaway more spots in the future! thank you guys for joining! 🥺🩵

i love you all! thank you for reading!

toodles!

READ PART TWO HERE | READ MY OTHER FICS

You should have known better than to take the job, but desperation has a way of disguising itself as pragmatism. The rent was overdue, the savings were dwindling, and when the manager at the Velvet Room offered you the job with the comment that the pay was "generous for someone who smiles well," you never bothered asking too many questions. The Velvet Room was a luxurious establishment, with low gold lighting and marble flooring so polished it was almost like looking into a mirror. The men who walked through the doors were dressed in suits that fit them like they owned the place, which they probably did. You were hired as a floor hostess. Smile. Escort. Do not interfere. Do not ask questions.

Not until your third night working at the Velvet Room did you finally get a glimpse into the true nature of the establishment.

It was the change in atmosphere that alerted you to the presence of someone significant. It was not until you saw him come through the doors that you realized the staff had been alerted too. The conversations around you died mid-sentence. Everyone stood a little straighter. The manager, who normally bellowed orders with irritation, moved with a newfound sense of urgency. And then he walked through the doors.

He was not a loud man. He did not need to be.

He wore black like it was the only color he needed. Black suit, black shirt, black hair slicked back off a forehead that was otherwise unmarred. His presence was not dominating; it was controlling. His eyes scanned the room once, twice, and you felt them land on you briefly before moving on. Your heart skipped a beat at the brief touch. Your manager was at your side almost instantly and clutched your wrist. "VIP escort," he said with a sense of urgency.

Before you could protest, you were leading him to the most secluded booth in the club. He had sat down silently, one arm stretching lazily along the back of the booth, a glass of expensive liquor untouched before him. Two men stood behind him, silent and watchful. They were not friends. They were guards.

“Good evening,” you had managed to say, keeping your voice as professional as possible. “Welcome to the Velvet Room.”

His eyes had slowly risen to meet yours. It was not a flirtatious look. It was almost... calculating, It was analytical, like he was determining whether you were worth remembering. You felt it when he spoke, soft and deep, but with a danger that wasn’t exactly anger, just presence.

“You're new.”

“Yes.”

“Name.” He listened to what you gave him, repeated it once, almost memorizing it. Then he motioned to the chair on the other side of the table. “Sit.”

“I usually stand,” you replied, cautious.

“I said sit.”

His voice had a quiet authority that didn’t leave room for discussion. You sat.

For a moment, he talked to one of the men standing at the back about shipments and schedules, soft and precise. You didn’t listen. When he faced you again, though, his expression was sharper.

"Why do you work here?"

"For money," you replied, honestly.

A small smile, almost a smirk, played at the corners of his lips. “Honest. That’s not common.”

His fingers tapped on the glass. “Do you know what kind of place this is?”

“I have an idea.”

“No,” he said, calm. “You don’t.”

Something about the absolute tone he used unnerved you.

“You should quit.”

The directness startled you. “I didn’t ask for advice.”

The guards shifted, but he leaned back, clearly fascinated.

“You're not afraid of me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“You should.”

Before you could say anything, though, a man in a grey suit approached the table, acting like he owned the place. “Cheol,” he said, like they were friends.

You found out what the man’s name was.

Seungcheol didn’t turn to him at first. “You're late.”

“Traffic.”

“There was no traffic.”

The conversation that followed was heavy, darker than before. Seungcheol’s expression changed little as he stood up from his seat around the table and leaned in close to whisper in the man’s ear. Whatever he said caused the man’s color to drain. He nodded to one of the guards, and the man left.

No shouting. No showmanship. Just pure authority.

Your hands were shaking beneath the table.

“Your hands are shaking,” Seungcheol said, immediately noticing.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

He moved in closer to you. The smell of his cologne was expensive and dark. “You don’t belong here.”

“Then why am I still sitting?”

He looked at your lips for a fleeting moment before returning to your eyes. “Because I’m curious.”

You should have walked away that night. You should have left. But you didn’t.

The next evening, you had decided that this was the night you were going to quit. In fact, you had written a message to your manager. But you turned up, and you hated the part of you that couldn’t help but hope that he’d show up too. 

He arrived a bit late, sporting a small cut above his eyebrow and red, scratched knuckles. You felt something inside of you clench at the sight. 

“You’re bleeding,” you said softly, making your way to his table. 

“It’s nothing,” he said, but you were not going to let that stop you. Your  impulse wouldn’t let you stay quiet, and you reached out for a napkin, moving closer to him. “May I?” 

He nodded after a while, and as you placed the napkin over the cut, his hand landed on your waist. Not hard, not possessive, but just there. 

“You didn’t quit,” he said. 

“You didn’t stay away,” you said. 

A small, quiet chuckle escaped him, and for a moment, he looked almost amused, a look that surprised you. 

When you moved back, your hand brushed against his cheek, and for a moment, neither of you moved. 

“You shouldn’t look at me like that,” he said. 

“How am I looking at you?” 

“As if I’m just a man.” 

“You are,” you said. 

His jaw clenched, and he said, “No. I’m not.” 

Something about the way he said that made him seem almost vulnerable, as if he were trying to tell you something about himself. You were not sure if he wanted you to believe him or to dispute him. 

“You’re not as heartless as you pretend to be,” you said softly.

“I'm not a good man.”

“I didn't ask you to be.”

The tension between you shifted into something undeniable. He stood up, moving closer to you until your back was almost against the wall of the booth. The guards nearby pretended not to see.

“If you stay,” he said, voice low and controlled. “You don't get to walk away when it gets messy.”

“I won't.”

He looked at you to see if you would back down. But he didn't see any sign of hesitation. So he took your hand—not rough, but sure—and walked you through a hallway you had never been allowed to enter. Your heart was pounding in your ears.

“Last chance,” he said without turning around. “Leave.”

“To stay innocent?”  you asked softly.

“Yes,” was the reply.

“I’m not innocent.”

He stopped and turned to you. Color left his eyes as he heard the edge in your voice.

He stepped inside his private office and stepped to the side to let you enter. The room was dimly lit. There was a couch against one wall and a massive desk against another. There was power in the air. The door closed behind you, shutting you inside.

He stepped closer to you. You stepped back until your calves hit the couch.

His hands went on either side of you. They trapped you without actually touching you.

“You don’t know what you do to me,” he said, his voice a little rougher.

“Then tell me.”

His hand went to your waist and pulled you closer until there was hardly any space between you.

“Say you’re going to leave and I’ll let you go,” he said, his voice low.

But you didn’t say anything. Your hands went to his chest.

“You’re shaking,” you whispered.

“You’re a problem.”

“Then fix me.”

His grip on your waist tightened. There was something dark in his eyes.

“If I start, I’m not stopping,” he said softly.

Your fingers found the fabric of his shirt.

“Then don’t,” you said.

His lips were inches away from yours. 

There was a pause between you. 

Anticipation was stretched taut.

And before the distance closed and restraint gave way to desire, he whispered your name. 

His whisper of your name hung in the air like a final warning, but it only pulled you deeper into the storm brewing between you. The space between your lips vanished as he closed the gap, his mouth claiming yours with a hunger that had been building since the moment you stepped into that forbidden hallway. His kiss was fierce, demanding—tongue pushing past your lips to tangle with yours, tasting the defiance and desire you'd thrown at him.

You gasped into his mouth, your hands fisting the front of his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer. His body pressed against yours, hard and unyielding, the heat of him seeping through his clothes. One hand stayed firm on your waist, fingers digging into your skin just enough to remind you of the power he held, while the other slid up your back, tangling in your hair to tilt your head back, deepening the kiss until you felt dizzy.

He broke away first, but only to trail his lips along your jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin of your neck. “You're mine now,” he growled against your throat, his breath hot and ragged. His free hand moved lower, cupping your ass and lifting you slightly, forcing your legs to part as he ground his hips into you. You could feel the thick bulge of his cock straining against his pants, pressing right against your core, sending a jolt of need straight through you.

Your back arched off the couch as you pushed back against him, your pussy already aching, wet with anticipation. “Prove it,” you challenged, your voice breathy but steady, even as your body trembled under his touch.

A low chuckle rumbled from his chest, dark and possessive. He spun you around in one fluid motion, your hands bracing against the couch cushions as he pressed his chest to your back. His hands roamed freely now—sliding under your shirt to shove it up and over your head, exposing your breasts to the cool air of the office. His palms covered them immediately, thumbs circling your hardening nipples before pinching them hard enough to make you cry out.

“Fuck, you're perfect,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear as he unzipped your pants with practiced ease. He yanked them down along with your panties, leaving you bare from the waist down. The vulnerability only heightened the thrill, your skin prickling under his gaze. You heard the clink of his belt buckle, the rustle of fabric, and then the hot length of his cock slapped against your ass, thick and heavy, already leaking pre-cum.

He didn't waste time. One hand gripped your hip, the other guiding his cock to your entrance. He teased you for a moment, rubbing the head along your slick folds, coating himself in your wetness. “Beg for it,” he demanded, his voice rough with restraint.

“Please,” you whispered, pushing back against him. “Fuck me.”

That was all he needed. With a single thrust, he buried himself inside you, stretching your pussy wide around his girth. You moaned loudly, the fullness overwhelming, every inch of him filling you completely. He didn't give you time to adjust—his hips snapped forward again and again, pounding into you with a rhythm that was brutal and unrelenting.

The couch creaked under the force, your fingers digging into the cushions as waves of pleasure built with each deep stroke. His hand snaked around to your front, fingers finding your clit and rubbing tight circles that made your legs shake. “Come for me,” he ordered, his teeth grazing your shoulder. “Show me how much you want this.”

The pressure coiled tighter, your body tensing as he drove you toward the edge. His cock hit that spot inside you over and over, his grip on your hip bruising, possessive. When your orgasm crashed over you, it was intense—your walls clenching around him, milking his length as you cried out his name.

He followed soon after, groaning low in his throat as he thrust deep one last time, spilling hot cum inside you, filling you until it dripped down your thighs. For a moment, you both stayed like that, panting, bodies slick with sweat.

But he wasn't done. Pulling out slowly, he turned you to face him, his eyes still dark with that insatiable hunger. “We're just getting started,” he said, pushing you down onto the couch, his cock already hardening again as he loomed over you.

His words hung heavy in the dim office air, a promise laced with that unyielding authority only Seungcheol could wield. You lay back on the couch, chest heaving from the aftershocks of your release, his cum still warm and sticky between your thighs. He stood over you, shirt half-unbuttoned from your earlier grip, revealing the taut muscles of his chest etched with faint scars—reminders of the life he led in the shadows of the city. His eyes, sharp and predatory, raked over your naked form, but there was a flicker of something softer beneath the dominance, a quiet check to ensure you were truly with him in this.

"You good?" he asked, voice gravelly but edged with concern, his large hand brushing a strand of hair from your sweat-dampened face. It was a small gesture, protective, like he was shielding you from the very storm he was about to unleash.

You nodded, biting your lip, your body already humming with renewed need. "More than good. Don't stop."

A smirk tugged at his lips, dark and satisfied. "Bossy little thing. But I like it." He knelt between your spread legs, his broad shoulders forcing your thighs wider apart. The size of him—everywhere—made your pulse race; even now, his cock hung heavy and thick, semi-hard but swelling again under your gaze, veins prominent along its length, the head glistening from your combined release.

Seungcheol's hands gripped your inner thighs, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh as he leaned in. His breath ghosted over your sensitive folds, making you shiver. "Gonna take my time with you now," he murmured, his mafia edge sharpening his tone—commanding, unapologetic. "Make you beg properly before I wreck you again."

Without another word, his mouth descended. His tongue flicked out, flat and broad, lapping at the mess he'd left inside you. You moaned, hips bucking involuntarily as he cleaned you with slow, deliberate strokes, savoring the taste of your arousal mixed with his own. He hummed against your pussy, the vibration sending sparks up your spine, before his lips sealed around your clit, sucking gently at first, then harder, drawing out whimpers from deep in your throat.

Your fingers threaded into his dark hair, tugging as he worked you over. One of his hands slid up, two thick fingers teasing your entrance, circling the slick opening before pushing inside. They stretched you just right, curling upward to stroke that spot that made stars burst behind your eyelids. He pumped them slowly, in time with the flicks of his tongue, building the pressure steadily. "That's it," he growled against your skin, his free hand pinning your hip down to keep you from writhing too much. "Let me hear how much you need this."

The wet sounds of his fingers thrusting into you filled the room, mingling with your gasps. He added a third finger, the fullness making you clench around him, your walls fluttering as he scissored them, preparing you for what was to come. His mouth never stopped—licking, sucking, nipping lightly at your swollen clit until your legs trembled on either side of his head. He looked up at you then, eyes locked on yours, that protective glint shining through the lust. "You tell me if it's too much," he said firmly, even as his fingers twisted deeper, hitting that perfect angle.

"It's not—fuck, Seungcheol, please—" Your plea dissolved into a cry as he sucked harder, his tongue swirling relentlessly. The coil in your belly tightened, your body arching off the couch as the orgasm built faster than before. He didn't let up, fingers crooking faster, mouth devouring you until you shattered, gushing around his hand, your juices coating his chin.

He pulled back only when you sagged, boneless and panting, but his fingers stayed buried inside you, gently stroking through the aftershocks. "Beautiful," he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your inner thigh, his dominance tempered by that rare tenderness. But the hunger in his eyes told you he was far from finished. He withdrew his fingers slowly, bringing them to your lips. "Taste yourself."

You obeyed, sucking them clean, the salty tang of your release mixing with the faint musk of him. It only made his cock twitch visibly, fully hard now—impossibly thick, the girth making your mouth water even as your pussy clenched in anticipation.

Seungcheol stood, towering over you, and unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way, shrugging it off to reveal the full expanse of his powerful frame. Scars crisscrossed his torso, badges of his mafia world, but his body was a weapon honed for control. He stroked himself once, lazily, the motion drawing your eyes to the way his fist barely wrapped around his shaft. "Your turn," he commanded, voice low and expectant. "Show me how bad you want this dick."

You slid off the couch to your knees before him, the carpet rough against your skin, but the ache between your legs overshadowed everything. Seungcheol's hand cupped your jaw, thumb tracing your bottom lip as he guided you closer. His cock bobbed inches from your face, the heat radiating from it, the scent of sex and him filling your senses. It was massive—long and girthy, the head flushed dark, a bead of pre-cum pearling at the tip.

"Open up," he ordered, but his touch remained steady, not forceful, watching your every reaction like the protector he was beneath the boss's facade. You parted your lips, tongue darting out to lick the underside from base to tip, tracing the prominent vein that pulsed under your touch. He groaned, low and guttural, his fingers tightening slightly in your hair—not pulling, just holding.

You wrapped your hand around the base, your fingers not quite meeting, and began to stroke him in firm, twisting pulls. The skin was velvet over steel, slick from your earlier joining, and he throbbed in your grip. Leaning in, you took the head into your mouth, sucking softly, swirling your tongue around the sensitive ridge. Seungcheol's breath hitched, his hips shifting forward just a fraction. "Fuck, yeah—just like that. Take more."

Emboldened, you hollowed your cheeks and slid down further, your jaw stretching to accommodate his size. You couldn't take all of him—not yet—but you worked what you could, bobbing your head in a steady rhythm, your hand pumping the rest in sync. Saliva dripped down his length, easing the glide, and you hummed around him, the vibration making his thighs tense.

His free hand braced against the desk behind him, knuckles whitening as he fought for control. "Look at me," he rasped, and when your eyes met his, the intensity there nearly undid you—raw possession mixed with that underlying care, ensuring you were okay in the midst of his dominance. You moaned around his cock, the sound muffled, and he cursed under his breath. "You're gonna make me lose it too soon."

You pulled back with a wet pop, strings of spit connecting your lips to his tip, and replaced your mouth with both hands, stroking him faster now—one twisting at the head, the other squeezing the base. His cock leaked steadily, pre-cum slicking your palms as you jerked him off with deliberate pressure. "Come for me first," you whispered, voice husky, meeting his gaze with a challenge of your own.

Seungcheol's laugh was dark, strained. "Demanding, aren't you?" But he didn't stop you, his hips thrusting shallowly into your fists. You leaned in again, licking the slit to taste him, your hands relentless. It didn't take long—his abs clenched, a growl ripping from his chest as he came, thick ropes of cum spilling over your fingers, some hitting your tongue. You swallowed what you could, the rest dripping down your chin, marking you as his.

Panting, he hauled you up by the arms, his strength effortless, and crushed his mouth to yours in a messy, claiming kiss. He tasted himself on your lips, groaning into it. "My good girl," he murmured against your mouth, wiping your chin with his thumb before sucking it clean himself. That protective side surfaced again as he scanned your face. "Still with me?"

"Always," you breathed, wrapping your legs around his waist as he lifted you onto the desk, papers scattering forgotten. His cock, still semi-hard but recovering fast, nudged against your soaked entrance. He teased you there, rubbing the thick length along your slit, coating himself anew.

"Gonna fuck you now," he warned, eyes locked on yours, voice pure mafia command. "Hard. Deep. Until you can't think straight." His hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he pushed in inch by inch, the stretch exquisite with his size. You cried out, nails digging into his shoulders, but he paused halfway, letting you adjust, his forehead resting against yours. "Breathe. I've got you."

Once you nodded, he thrust the rest of the way, bottoming out with a shared groan. The desk shook as he set a punishing pace, each snap of his hips driving his massive cock into your core, hitting depths that made you see white. One hand slipped between you, thumb circling your clit in firm strokes, while the other braced beside your head, caging you in.

Pleasure built like a tidal wave, your body coiling around him. "Seungcheol—oh god—" you gasped, and he swallowed your moans with another kiss, his thrusts never faltering. When you came, it was explosive, walls clamping down on his length, pulling him over the edge with you. He buried himself deep, flooding you again, his release hot and endless.

He didn't pull out right away, staying connected as you both caught your breath, his arms wrapping around you in a rare, vulnerable hold. "You're safe with me," he whispered, the mafia boss yielding to the man who cherished you. But even in the quiet, the air crackled with promise— this was only the beginning of the night.

If you didn’t already exceed at the ‘Loser check list’, you’re currently occupied at your cluttered desk. Head buried in textbooks, knee anxiously bouncing, hands taut in your ‘day two’ hair. 

There was an assignment that was due yesterday, and you’ve been constantly thinking about it since. To be honest, you don’t even know why you put it off, you swear you only did that to make yourself go insane.

You thought that you'll live a little but you're always stuck studying and finishing presentations. Or when you do socialize, all your friends talk about the cute boy on campus, or how dinner went with their boyfriend of two months, or their sneaky link ghosting them. 

Those were also gentle reminders why you should stay single. You had your fair share; some blowjobs, as in one, then making out, and the list kind of stopped there. You prioritized homework and studying, over boys that are Mr. Minute Man.

As if college couldn’t get any worse, you're also stuck with a sucky ass roommate. You didn't want to pay for on campus dorms, so you decided on a nicer place, but having to commute to school every day.

The thing about your roommate, is that they're full of shit, obnoxious, always, and when I mean always, it's constant, they're constantly fucking someone. You thought your libido was high? Oh no, you've truly been out-freaked by your roommate, Choi, freaking, Seungcheol.

Practically half of the campus girls had walked in and out of your flat. The real reason why, is because of Choi Seungcheol's fucking dick. His cock is a living and walking legend. Him as a whole is already a package: strong arms, deep voice, tall, and broad. Then, his dick was just the ribbon on the entire present. 

Truly his greed sickens you, and yet the fact he's fucking a sorority sister, maybe every other week, agitates you. It made you wonder, is it really that good?

—

It was another quiet day in your shared flat, you're brewing coffee absently. Seungcheol had left the house for some activity in his fraternity. He said it was some team bonding shit and then slammed the door. Perfect, you thought, the house was finally silent. 

The awfully thin walls reverberated the moans from the squealiest girl he fucked last night. You needed this coffee and silence more than anything right now. 

Your brain buzzed busily as you recalled the homework and upcoming tests you needed to finish and study for.

The electric kettle clicked with the bubbling of boiling water, signifying you to get out of your head. You poured the boiling water into a thick, glass mug. Stirring up the syrup concoction you just made.

It was your natural routine, the sound of your metal spoon clinking against your ceramic mug, with the rumbling and humming of cars outside your flat. It was comforting to say the least, when it was quiet.

Although many days like this, your brain wasn't. The loud noises from last night always sink into your stomach, coiling like a boa constrictor ready to eat their prey. You don’t know when this sexual fixation started, or how you were so sensitive to… well that stuff.

Maybe it started when you began to read stupid smut books where they don't even execute sex properly. Then when you were older, watching stupid pornos where they go at an ungodly speed, and somehow you couldn’t live without thinking about sex. Wishing to experience, like all those girls who said they lost their virginity in stupid highschool. 

What got to your head was the fact you were so inexperienced, yet so experienced at the same time.

You let out a sharp exhale as you checked your phone with sudden urgency you didn't have five minutes ago. Your friends had decided you didn't come outside your house enough this month, so they invited you to eat some brunch with them.

It always went the same way, small talk, boyfriend talk, then to 'are-you-seeing-anyone' talk. Like, they’ve managed to ask the same thing in the span of a week. 

Perhaps your relationship status might have changed, but for you, no way in heaven would it. 

It's okay, they were good friends nonetheless. Always pushing you to do new things, and keeping that spark of social skills alive in you, despite your refusal.

There's not much they can do when you've set your standards higher than your grades, which your grades are pretty high. Or modestly high. Or is it average? You don't know anymore, with the ghost of expectations haunting you. A strict set of rules no one ever asked you to meet, managed to keep you in line.

—

You quickly tidied up your hair as you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror. Your lips tugged up into a staged smile, then into a smirk of pure shock. You haven't seen yourself so put together in maybe, months? Usually these small dates with your friends motivated you to doll yourself up.

It's almost addictive how good you look when you put effort into your looks. You don't care how you look most of the time, because literally no one else cares. Plus, Seungcheol brings over these goddess-like girls, and you don't even dare try to compete with them. Not like you… not like you ever thought about appealing to Seungcheol. 

As you exited the house, Seungcheol was making his way back home, glancing at you like a stranger.

"Where are you going?" He pressed, making you shoot him an incredulous glare. He’s acting like you don’t have a social life, which is partially correct.

"Brunch. With my friends." You stated it like it was obvious, like he could have guessed. Which he couldn't. 

He doesn't believe in 'brunch'. It's either late breakfast or early lunch, no such thing as 'brunch', he proclaimed the last time you uttered such words.

"Oh, okay." He cocked an accusing eyebrow, and walked into the house without another word. You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes at how stupid that conversation was.

That summed up your relationship, a few words, a glare, and then thick silence. Recently though, he’s been ignoring you, or avoiding you? You can’t tell because you’ve been avoiding home as of late.

An uncharacteristic thing that’s been happening is the lack of girls flooding into your shared place. Last night was kind of a surprise though, he would have told you before… but he didn’t. Honestly, you’re kind of thankful that he told you— excluding last night— because you couldn’t manage any more sleepless nights.

You sighed slamming your car door to silence the endless spill of thoughts in your head. Your eyes tried to keep focus on the route as your knuckles clenched to white. He's so utterly stupid, you can't believe people would flock over to suck his dick—

Your GPS yelled at you that you had missed your left turn. A long sigh dragged from your lips as you followed the prompted directions. You’re shooting glances at your phone whilst making sure another driver doesn’t decide to play footsies with their brake.

Something that’s a mystery to you is how Seungcheol inhabited a chunk of your brain. The ratio being 95% school and 5% Seungcheol, and that’s pretty extreme for you. 

He’s your roommate, you shouldn’t be imagining wanting to run your hands along his back muscles, tracing the tattoo of an olive tree down the column of his spine. Or even how his face feels when he buries it into the crook of your neck, his calloused hands gripping onto your thighs.

Whenever he occupied your thoughts, you couldn’t figure out why. Even if you were to stop and think, it’d strain your big, beautiful brain. You wouldn’t dare date him, he sleeps around, he’s an asshole, he’s not as driven in school as you are. He’s just… just someone you shouldn’t date or be affiliated with. 

Your pride held you back mostly, and you knew that. It’s just if you were to date him, you feel like this perfect world you had built so deliberately, will shatter. Your friends will be disappointed, the past girls he dated and slept with will lash out at you, and maybe even your parents will be disappointed. You don’t want that. You don’t want to disappoint anyone, and most importantly, you don’t want to disappoint Seungcheol.

-

The cafe was cozy, with welcoming colors and flourishing plants. In the window, you can see an older guy with a newspaper who sat alone in a booth. A family of four eating at a table while talking animatedly to each other. Then an awfully chatty dude talking to the guy working behind the bar, adjusting the cakes on the display. 

After you begrudgingly parallel parked, the door chimed as you pushed it open. A chipper, brunette hostess greeted you, but your friends are already hooting and hollering in a booth that you can only see in your peripheral.

"I'm... with them." You motioned with your thumb, and the hostess just nodded with an understanding smile on her lips.

"Oh my god! It's a miracle!" Erika exclaimed, her dyed dirty blonde hair tied neatly up into a bun. A gummy, warm smile graced her already beautiful face.

"Is it really one? We had to beg her to come out." Jennifer retorted, snorting before she drank a sip out of her chai latte. She tucked her silky black hair behind her ear, her dainty silver piercings glimmering in the morning light.

You let out a scoff as you playfully shoved Jennifer, who gasped in offense. "Listen now, I just didn't want to bail on your guy's beautiful faces." 

"Please, we all know you need relationship advice." Jennifer murmured slyly, making Erika laugh. She always laughed at anything, and which you're thankful for, because you'd actually fight Jennifer if it wasn't for Erika's sweet laughter.

"Me? How's you and that mysterious campus boy you kissed at the last sorority party?" You prodded, Jennifer returned your comment with a lazy eye roll.

"Hey, that was just a one time thing. He's kind of weird." She admitted, stirring her drink absently.

Erika hummed noncommittally, seemingly deep in thought or just spacing out. "Wasn't he like a stoner? I'm pretty sure Jiwon got in trouble last time for being with a guy who did drugs."

"Erika what the actual hell are you talking about?" Jennifer laughed, looking at Erika's already dumbfounded face.

"Oh my god, are you guys talking about Chris? Seungcheol said he got kicked out." You whispered in a conspirative manner. Seungcheol didn't actually tell you this directly, you just happened to overhear.

"You kissed Chris?" Erika's face visibly repulsed, plucking up her menu.

"No! I don't know what this idiot is talking about—" Jennifer sighed loudly as she cut herself off, playfully glaring back at you.

"Speaking of Seungcheol, you should go to his party this weekend." Jennifer suggested to you, in order to change the topic, her manicured nails clinking against her drink.

"Girl, if I went to a party, something seriously wrong must have happened." You plainly responded, closing your menu. "Are you guys ready to order?"

Erika hummed in response as she stirred the straw around in her drink. Jennifer called over the waiter who happened to be placing out cups of water for a nearby table. 

Jennifer was always the strong-headed, blunt beauty in this trio. With her dark hair and monochromatic clothing, even you would date her.

Erika on the other hand... was different. Her bubbly, giggly attitude was a stark difference to Jennifer. To the pastel and warm toned clothing and delicate, you can say those two were polar opposites.

With you, you were the perfect mix of them both. That's why you guys get along so well. Even though they nag you about your absent dating life. 

-

Your meal arrived in a speedy manner, you’re already stuffing your face because just coffee wouldn't cut it for you. 

Erika and Jennifer rambled about the drama between sororities right now. How girls are constantly getting caught being indecent literally anywhere now. They turn their attention to your crumb dusted face.

"Say, has Seungcheol been bringing anyone to your place recently?" Erika poked, pointing her fork at you.

"No? Well, usually he's been doing it when I'm out of the house, in the library." You chewed on your right side of your mouth, washing your meal down with water.

"Of course... the library." Jennifer mused, giving you a teasing glare.

"Well excuse me… Mr. Wagner assigned a freaking essay right before break. I don't wanna hear moaning when I'm writing about some... stupid bullshit he always pulls out of his ass." You retorted, no more food in your mouth.

Jennifer raised her hands in defense. "Okay chill, I was just making an observation. Also, how have you been keeping up with Seungcheol? You haven’t been bitching and moaning about him recently.”

“Hey! I’ve never bitched and moaned about Seungcheol.” You pointed your fork at Jennifer. You haven’t actually, it was a keen observation. Recently he’s been nicer to you, if avoiding you is being nice.

Erika glanced at you like you were crazy. “Excuse me??? That’s all you did for about maybe a month.”

You sighed in defeat, poking at your food absently. “...Okay maybe.”

“‘Okay maybe’ isn’t an answer, something has to be going on.” Jennifer nagged, and she was kind of right. Just kind of.

“Fine… if you want to hear it so badly, I guess I’ll just admit it.” A long sigh dragged from your lips; the heavy weight of your thoughts fleeting as you prepared to announce it.

You annoyingly drawled out the thick silence, nails tapping insistently on the dining table. “It's like… I can’t stop thinking about him.” You mumbled out, eyes glued on your food.

They both groaned, like they saw this coming.

“Dude, what… What the hell?” Erika sighed, pinching her nose bridge.

“I freaking knew it!” Jennifer scoffed, smashing her fork against the table, creating an awfully loud metallic clank.

“Guys— just hear me out.” You started, but both of them look unimpressed, easily shutting you up. A ball of guilt started stirring in your stomach as you looked at them in panic. Unease rushed through your body, as anxious thoughts flooded your mind.

“You’re coming to this party if you like it or not. You need to realize that Seungcheol is actually evil.” Jennifer reprimanded, she immediately yanked out her phone. “Sending you the details, right now.”

Shortly, your phone buzzed with Jennifer’s contact dropping down on the notification bar. Telling them and understanding your feelings, was already a sign you’re too far gone. It's their duty to refrain you from falling victim to Choi Seungcheol. Even if they’re already failing.

two: 

Pathetically, you've retreated to the library to take your mind off things. Taking a quiet corner you've always claimed. The familiar musty smell of yellowed paper and the outside rain truly healed your heart. You neatly set up your folders, pushing up your slipping bluelight glasses.

It was perfect actually, the clouds blocking the shining sun with fat drops of rain. An unexpected heavy sigh escaped your lips, as you stared at your blank document. You came here to distract yourself, but you spot a touchy couple a few tables away to your right. 

You can see his hand squeeze her thigh in broad fluorescent lighting. How her leg is thrown over his knee, and how their shoulders rubbed against each other. 

Your nails dugged into your knees unconsciously at the sight. The tension in your jaw snapped you back to reality.

God, get a room, you thought. 

As your knee bounced anxiously, you can't help your drifting mind. 

Imagining the warmth and pressure of someone else's hands. Their own personal scent fogging your mind, their voice soft and reserved for you. His strong arms draped over your shoulder like it belonged there as he played with your hair. A gummy smile growing, making his dimples cave in his cute cheeks. His full, pouty lips distract you from his attentive eyes…

You shook your head to snap yourself out of this perverted daze. You can't believe you just thought about Seungcheol. Wait. Was that Seungcheol you were thinking about? 

An annoyed sigh escaped your bitten lips, your eyes snapping back down to the bare document. 

-

Ten minutes went by. Then fifteen. Then thirty.

Your nail tapped insistenly against the metal of your laptop while your bouncing knee practically shook the whole table. The downpour of the rain was getting louder and more intense, some people fleeing into the library to just wait it out.

Your mind returned to those past imaginations, absolutely wrecking your concentration. You feel too immersed in your thoughts, even to the point where your heart started racing at the idea.

It’s almost like you can feel his breath mingling with yours and stealing the air out of your lungs. A phantom brush of his nose against your pulse point, that familiar charming smile haunting against your neck. His annoyingly addicting scent that is tailored to him and him only. Just the mere thought of him has you wrecked.

Suddenly, you take a moment, sniffing the air like a weirdo. You could have sworn you smelt his signature scent. A whiff of the gut wrenching cedary citrus hit you, a chill running straight up your spine. There’s no doubt that it's Seungcheol's cologne. 

An annoyed and pent up sigh left your mouth. Your head falling into your palms as you groaned, trying to clear your head just in case he’s actually lurking around.

His cologne got stronger, the scent haunting you, or maybe you were thinking about him too much. It was like you manifested him into existence. 

Suddenly, you feel the warmth of someone elses body radiating onto yours.

“Can I sit here?” A smug voice asked, already pulling the chair out to sit besides you.

A wave of his cologne smacked you awake, and you finally peeked through your fingers.

Seungcheol was sitting there, close enough for you to see the droplets of rain on his hair. How his damp shirt accentuated his firm chest, and beads of rain dripping down his defined biceps.

Oh my god. This is truly a sight of sore eyes, you must admit.

“What?” A sputtered laugh escaped him, his hand running through his damp hair. The mussed hair made him look even more sexier, making your teeth gritting in annoyance.

“What do you want?” You softly groaned out, peeking at him again. You’re trying to avoid his eyes, especially the fact you’ve been thinking about him for the past hour.

“Woah, chill.” Seungcheol breathed out, looking you up and down, almost like he was savoring the sight in front of him. That’s weird. He’s being weird. You feel weird.

You looked around the library, catching his friends goofing off. They’re mishandling books, getting their wet clothes on the carpet, and making an awfully loud ruckus in a library. You cringe at the sight of them.

“Why don’t you just go with them?” You asked pointedly, but you completely understand that you wouldn’t wanna be seen with idiots like them.

“Because.” Seungcheol murmured, you could feel his eyes burning holes into you. 

“Okay, whatever.” You grumbled, resting your chin in the palm of your hand. Your fingers pushed up absently at your bluelight glasses, using this as an excuse to hide your flushing face.

What does he even mean, ‘because’? Did he want to hang out with you? Did he see you and decided he wanted your company instead of his close friends? Does he enjoy being around you?

No– you’re overthinking all of this. Your friends are right, he’s evil. He’s just playing games with you right now. He’s eager to watch how you play the next move. 

You sighed loudly as you opened up the blank document again, which is a weak attempt to distract yourself.

“Hey, at least talk to me.” The pout is so strong in his tone, you couldn’t help but laugh in shock.

“Excuse me?” You shamelessly smiled toward him, skeptical at his sulking. Seungcheol did this from time to time with you, but him being sad over not getting your attention? This is a new reaction.

“I wanted to see what you were doing here so late, at least talk to me.” He admitted quietly.

One blink. Two blinks. 

“Oh.” You mumbled out stupidly, like you suddenly forgot how to use your mouth. The soft admission made you burn red like a fool, and just like that, he’s taken a pawn. Seungcheol has you in a vulnerable spot.

“What?” A sly smirk curled on the corner of his lips.

Fucking asshole. He knew what he was doing to you, and it seemed to egg him on even more, wanting to elicit more reactions out of you.

“Nothing… I’m just finishing up homework.” You murmured, hoping that’ll suffice. You turned your body away again, trying to tell him you’re done playing verbal chess.

“Finishing? You’ve been staring at the same empty doc for the past… I don’t know, since I’ve been here.” Seungcheol mentioned, his fingers drumming too close to your arms. Your brain immediately rolled in thoughts you should not be thinking about right now.

“Hey. Are you even listening?” He sulked again.

“Sorry, I’m so focused, I don’t ever hear annoying people talking.” You explained, briefly turning your head to glance at him.

“I’m so not annoying, what are you even talking about?” Seungcheol inched closer. It’s almost like he knew what his proximity was doing.

He must be doing such bullshit on purpose. He moved his hand besides yours, your forearms parallel. You can feel a tingling sensation as his eyes dragged down your body. It’s driving you insane, what are his intentions? 

“Yeah? That’s the first stage, denial.” You smiled, proud at your effortless and witty comeback.

Seungcheol let out a weak laugh, an audible sign of defeat. Your heart launched into your throat as he leaned in even more, his cologne a familiar punch to your gut, his breath fanning over your exposed arm. Seungcheol is evil– conniving and evil and so utterly handsome– your friends were more than right.

“Har-har, you really got me there.” Seungcheol murmured lowly, his voice sending pathetic shivers up your spine. He was resting his chin on his palm, which brought his face impeccably closer to yours.

He pulled back slowly, keeping his eyes on you. Your stomach launched into your throat, praying that it didn’t show on your face. 

But the way the smirk curled up on those plush lips of his, he clearly saw right through you. He saw how your eyes diverted like skidding mice, the way your knee stopped bouncing for a mere second, he knew you too well to not see it. 

For a moment you couldn’t breathe in the air of tension, you couldn’t fathom the thought of his eyes peeling back the layers you spent years putting up. When you’re with him, it’s like a fog-dense maze that never ends. Everytime though, he always found a way to end before you, and won your little mind games.

Thankfully, Seungcheol doesn’t comment on it, and you tore your eyes away before they could wander further. You finally occupied yourself with the very much blank document in front of you.

As you typed away, you can’t help but feel that he’s closer than before. His body heat made your arm hairs prick up at the sudden warmth.

If this couldn’t get any worse, you curiously glance back at him. 

He’s already staring. Eyes calculating you before he checkmated your king: your dignity and pride.

A whole body chill struck you, making you snap your head away in urgency. You bit your inner lip to distract you from hysterically screaming, whilst bouncing your knee anxiously once again. 

He leaned in closer now, his arm near your laptop. 

“Did I finally get your attention?” Seungcheol hummed, his voice husky and so awfully warm. The tone running you up straight into a spiral.

“Fuck off, I came here to study by myself.” You managed to mumble back, it came out more meek than you expected.

“Am I not an exception?” Seungcheol frowned, leaning in impeccably closer, like he wanted you to look at him again. His eyes followed your avoidant ones as his breath mingled with the air you breathe, his whole presence beckoning you.

You weren’t stupid, you wouldn’t fall for his manipulating acts. 

“You’re less than an exception, you’re not even an option.” You bitterly comment as you turn your attention back to your laptop.

He let out a low whistle. “Struck a nerve there, didn’t I?”

“I just wanted to be with you.” Seungcheol mumbled, like he was worried the words would land differently.

Okay, you are kind of stupid. You let your eyes reach him again, peeking at him off your right shoulder.

You feel even more stupid, as your heart physically ached when you see him get up. His pointer finger brushing over your knuckle on accident, you hope on accident. 

“I’ll just go if this is the case. See you at home then.” He held your eyes for a beat longer than you expected. It was like he wanted to say more, but was too hesitant.

You didn’t notice how your hand bunched up the fabric of your sweats in that weirdly tense moment. His eyes searched yours, desperately almost; it felt like he was trying to read you, but you were a complicated riddle. He walked off with his back towards you and his friends following him like dogs.

“Fuck.” You muttered once he was out of earshot, burying your face in your hands.

There goes your hour of concentration. Thanks a lot, Choi Seungcheol.

–

Besides Seungcheol bombarding your mind, your friends, Erika and Jennifer, are blowing up your phone. 

They keep on sending inspo pictures of group photos they want to take on their digital cameras. They even have your outfit planned out to the tea. They’re assigning each other roles to make sure any guy, besides Seungcheol, will talk to you.

A nervous flutter rose to your chest as you thought about the party.

So much for studying, you thought. You packed up, stuffing your laptop with the still empty document. You were heading to Erika’s house, which was close to the library.

Erika thoroughly explained how she’s going to do your makeup, and the clothes that she had prepared for you. Pinterest photo after another, you’ve realized there’s no way you can back out now.

Jennifer and Erika ended up arguing on the vibe. Jennifer said chic and simple, nothing too showy or ‘slutty’, but that would be hypocritical… as Jennifer’s best friend is a lethal v-cut neckline. 

Erika strongly pushed for a cowl neckline, with the backless feature. With complimenting tight bootcut jeans that show off the curvature of your ass perfectly. Of course only she would think about what your butt would look like in jeans. 

Though, they came to a conclusion: a micro skirt, that you’re hundred percent sure your butt will be hanging out of. For the top, they managed to battle it out and decided on a simple black tank, with a lacy bra that is not debatable. 

—

Your heart beat thrummed through your skin, your fingers anxiously tapped on the vanity. Erika hovered around you like a humming bird with her hands all over your hair. Jennifer is constantly skipping through songs, trying to find the right vibe. 

An unsettling feeling dwelled in your stomach. 

You’re really doing this, you thought. You’re seriously going to waltz in and flaunt your stuff just to spite Seungcheol. Maybe even kiss another guy, just to show Seungcheol that you don’t want him. Your brain is going down a steep spiral about Seungcheol, and you need a way to get out.

“To be honest guys, I don’t even like Seungcheol like that.” You murmured pathetically, hoping that’ll deter the fire burning in their eyes.

“Like, he always sleeps around and… you know? It's just I don't like… guys like that.” You poorly explained your alibi. It was a futile attempt, sadly earning skeptical looks from them. 

They all know— so do you— that you can't resist the temptations of Choi Seungcheol. Especially being so sexually frustrated, he is a living wet dream for you.

“Excuses, excuses. At least see this as an opportunity to network and have fun, who knows you might be able to network yourself some dick because you’re such a smooth talker.” Jennifer retorted, smudging her eyeliner. 

She sat on the floor, hunched over the mirror and still pressing the skip button. How did she even have any skips left? Erika was still busy running around you with a curling iron. She had meticulously done your makeup, enhancing your features and making you look completely brand new.

You had insisted you can do it yourself, but Erika proclaimed she’s a pro, and she knows what she’s doing. Which she 100% is a pro, as you can barely recognize yourself, in a good way at least.

“Yeah, Jen’s right. Just have fun, don’t think about Seungcheol. Plus he’ll probably be sucking off someone’s face anyways, it’ll ruin your good vibes.” Erika added as she scrunched the cooling curl. 

Erika wasn’t the best at delivering advice, like Jennifer’s blunt demeanor, but hearing that sentence: “sucking off someone’s face”, made your heart sink. You knew it was granted to happen for him, but hearing it aloud hurt even more. It bubbled in your stomach, just to rise and puncture your aching heart.

It was almost like they sensed it, and on cue Jennifer pulled a big ass bottle of Tito’s vodka out of nowhere.

“We should pregame, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to…” Jennifer singed-songed, already pouring herself a shot.

Erika rejected it, and so did you. You rejected because you didn’t want to end up wailing about your feelings, and half because you’d end up way drunk before you even arrived. 

three:

You arrived at the party, the night air nipping at your ankles as you got out. Erika and Jennifer are a couple of steps ahead of you, talking about how they’re not going to drink too much.

Every step you took was met with a sharp pain in your heels. Your hands constantly tugged down your riding skirt. The awful push up bra you have on is digging straight into your ribs, and you feel too vulnerable with your cleavage out. Your friends keep on urging you to take pictures, but your hair keeps on flying into your lip gloss. 

You don't fit here, you feel like a shell of your body. Guys are smoking on the front lawn, girls are already stumbling out even though the party has barely started. You can feel the music before hearing it, thrumming quickly through your pulse. You're met with a conglomerate smell of cologne, weed, and alcohol.

What's worse is as soon as you get eaten by the swarm of people, it's like the lights dim and flash on him.

Seungcheol.

He's talking to the girl you remember who he said gave him sloppy head, or was it another girl? Who knows. Though, he doesn't seem too upset about that. His hand automatically found the small of her back, his thumb brushing over the divot right before the curve of her ass.

Your stomach churned uncomfortably as bile bubbled in the back of your throat. 

His hands are traveling, feeling her, memorizing each dip with the tips of his fingers. A ghost of fingers repeated it on your own frame, your arms wrapped around you sheepishly. Get out of your head, you spoke to yourself.

You involuntarily swallowed as you finally pried your eyes away, you didn't notice how dry your mouth had gotten at the sight of them. Erika looked at you weirdly, tugging on your arm to snap you out of this hypnotized daze.

"Hey, what are you looking at? Hurry, let's get drinks before they all just start tasting like fruit punch and not vodka!" She laughed, her shrill tone dumping the ice cold reality back onto you.

Fuck. You couldn't shake off this gnawing feeling in your stomach. The burning ache in your heart. The indescribable brain fog prevented you from even trying to comprehend how you feel. This isn't jealousy, you painfully remind yourself, you're not even interested in him. He doesn't even want you.

Jennifer placed a drink in your hand, and as she looked away, you've already downed it. The liquid burning down your throat as the alcohol taste sticked on your tongue. You carelessly tossed the cup, groaning at the taste.

"Dude! Are you fucking stupid?" She gaped at you as you wiped the alcohol off your lips.

"I think so." You grumbled back. You get another cup, to occupy your hands for the most part.

Erika and Jennifer keep a wary eye on you, their mouths still ajar in shock. 

—

To your demise, the alcohol hit you hard. You make up an excuse to leave the jungle of dancing people and flying arms. Finding yourself in the dimly lit kitchen, you take this chance to rest against the counter.

Even with all the heaps of alcohol clouding your brain beyond consciousness, the image of Seungcheol standing so intimately with that girl is etched into your brain. You shivered as a phantom finger traced the curve of your waist. It traveled up slowly, like it was memorizing the exact slope of it.

"Why are you here?" The hand wasn't a ghost. It was Seungcheol’s. He was leaning in, scanning your face intently like you were outlandish. Which wasn’t entirely wrong.

A sharp gasp yanked from your chest, the sight of him immediately sobered you up. He has the evil audacity to laugh in your face. His fingers brushed against yours deliberately on the edge of the counter, his left hand holding his cup as he brought it to his lips.

You try not to stare, really, but the way he held eye contact with you as he drank, you couldn't help but watch. You swallow, eyes finally yanking away as soon as you have some decorum.

Seungcheol leaned in again, his cologne making your knees feel like jelly. "Why are you here? This isn't your type of crowd." He asked again while his fingers creeped up onto your tense knuckles, delicately brushing them like he was scared you'll pull away.

"'Cause, I wanted to." You muttered lamely, shamelessly following his touch with your eyes. You watched his fingers brush up your forearms, but you did it mostly to avoid his stare.

"Just 'cause?" Seungcheol teased softly, leaning his head against the cabinets as he looked at you carefully. Almost tenderly. Almost.

"Yeah." The singular word sounded stupidier than you thought. 

Although, you could care less because you’ve already made yourself a fool, for falling in love with someone out of your league. 

When you look back up at Seungcheol, he’s already staring with an intensity you can’t quite put a finger to. Whether it was hunger or perceptive, your skin feels staticky with heat with his eyes on you.

"Whose attention are you trying to get here?" Seungcheol murmured, inching closer, and you pathetically sucked up a breath.

You forget to answer the question, too distracted on how his lips parted when he talked. His words are muddled in the cloud of his cologne and proximity. Your stomach fluttered childishly, and you can’t tell if it’s the alcohol, or simply him. He nudged your knee with his as he inched closer, and your eyes snapped back up to his eyes.

"I said, who are you trying to attract? You look too good tonight." You hated how his voice resonated deep in your gut. How you wished he spoke to you more, and spoke only sweet nothings.

You immediately gave him a cold shoulder, because it didn’t matter if you looked good or bad, he clearly wasn’t interested in you. 

“Nobody in particular.” You admited, but your brain kept on flashing images of Seungcheol with his ‘girlfriends’, reminding why you’re here.

“Oh really? So your skirt is short enough to see your ass just for fun? Hm?” Seungcheol pressed further, his fingertips brushing against yours.

“Hm? Clearly it’s paying off.” You retorted, unsure why it sounded so bitter.

“Oh?” Seungcheol cocked an eyebrow that made your knees almost buckle in. He manuevered to stand in front of you, caging you in against the counter. 

You bite back the gasp that threatened to escape, but he heard your breath hitching. His cologne jumped into your lungs, and infiltrated your mind. His fingers gripped onto the counter beside you, and you didn’t notice how white his knuckles are. Seungcheol held your eyes with an intensity you’ve never seen before, and fuck, you wanted to see it more often.

“I saw when you arrived. Way before you even looked at me. Way before I even– even talked to that girl.” Seungcheol admitted quietly, intimately.

“I saw the way you looked at us.” He murmured, leaning in closer making his voice rumbling in your chest.

“So? You know I hate public display of affection.” You grumbled back, leaning away by the slightest.

“I know.” He stated simply and clearly.

“Okay, if you know, then that’s your answer to my reaction.” You blatantly excuse.

A beat passed, making anxiety bubble in your chest. 

“You’re jealous.” 

Your facade faded immediately like shattered glass. Those two simple words that escaped his lips dug right into your gut. Seungcheol saw the truth flash in your eyes, and like an instant, his face softened.

“Am I right?” Seungcheol said with a slight smile.

“You wish.” You scoffed in retort, turning your head away.

“You’re lying, plus it doesn’t suit you anyways.” He leaned in, tilting your head up with his pointer finger.

“Don’t lie to me.” He whispered over your lips, your hands jumping at your sides.

“Seungcheol—” you attempted to protest, confused and exactly where you wanted to be.

“Why? Why do you do this all the time? Do you think I’m shallow?” Seungcheol held your face with his fingers, stroking your lower lip gently with his thumb. Your breathing picked up at his words, and his implications. You thought you hid your emotions well, that you didn’t care if Seungcheol slept around. Clearly, he saw right through you.

“Well,” you started, but your throat dried up, and you can’t bring yourself to admit it.

Admit that you’ve been daydreaming about him doing things to you, you’d rather die than say such words.

“Well, whatever you're thinking about, stop it.” Seungcheol sighed, pressing his forehead against yours. He dropped his hand from your face, and moved them to your sides. 

Ever so briefly squeezing your hips before wrapping his arms around your waist. You see him shut his eyes, his lashes brushing over the soft skin.

Your brain short circuited at the touch, your hands jumping to his chest. His breath is mingling with yours, his arms feel heavier than you imagined, and god… you love it.

“I’ve been walking on eggshells around you.” Seungcheol confessed gently, his body leaning into yours like he’s seeking your comfort. His admission explained why he’s been ignoring you recently.

“I don’t know how else to approach you… but to do this…” He gestured by squeezing you flush against the firm wall of his chest.

“To at least show you that I like you.” Seungcheol whispered, his eyes fluttered open to catch your widened ones.

“Me?” You stupidly asked.

“You,” Seungcheol answered tenderly, “of course you. You’re so admirable. You…” He sighed, squeezing his arms around you tighter. 

Seungcheol groaned as he buried his face into your neck, making you shiver at the sensation of his breath. It’s ticklish at first, but melded into a soft reminder of his presence.

“You’re so smart, determined, and so perfect in so many ways.” Seungcheol professed, pulling his head out from your neck.

“But you pull away so often– I’m worried if I come off too strong, or you think I’m a horrible person. But I can understand why.” He stated clearly, holding your eyes with unspoken desire.

You’re at a loss for words with a lump in your throat. All Seungcheol did was smile, and it painfully made your heart lurch at how bad you want him. Forget what your friends said, forget disappointment, you want Seungcheol so bad every nerve in your body is jumping to his touch.

“What? You have this look, like you’re seeing a ghost.” Seungcheol’s lips hovered dangerously over yours, his hands cupping your soft cheeks. His thumb stroked over your cheekbone, feeling your skin burn hot under his touch.

“Just… I’m just shocked.” You sputtered out, to at least speak a coherent sentence. Your eyes darted between his lips and eyes, and he smirked at the small gesture. 

“About what?” A cheeky smile grew on his lips, like he knew this was going to be your reaction. 

“That a guy like me is into a girl like you?” Seungcheol leaned in, and with the motion he removed his arms from your waist. They traveled to the counter behind you, caging you in and pressing his hips against yours.

It ellicted a gasp from your lips, with a jolt of arousal blooming between your legs. He mentally took note of your reaction, his teeth sinking down in his lower lip to restrain himself.

“Is it that?” Your eyes snapped up to meet his. Seungcheol’s head is tilted down to meet yours. 

You look down at his lips, hoping he didn’t notice. In which, he very much did. Another smug smirk grew on his face as his hand came to tilt your chin up.

“Tell me, what’s so shocking about me liking you?” His words swirled in your gut, especially the way his eyes held yours with desire. 

“I– It’s not… as simple as you think.” You managed to speak. Your brain and heart were a puddle; your morals are gone, as you just follow this feeling of warmth you’ve dreamt about.

“It isn’t?” Seungcheol mused. Those simple words have your knees shaky, and you swear your heart is beating so fast it’s visible against your chest.

He pressed a finger right in the middle of your forehead. “Your big, beautiful brain must be complicating it, huh?” Seungcheol smiled all knowingly, and somehow you found yourself laughing.

An even bigger smile grew on his lips at the sweet noise. Seungcheol’s heart swelled with an unfamiliar fondness at the sight. He wanted to memorize the way your eyes crinkled and your smile lines deepened with your laugh. Most importantly, he wanted to be the one making you laugh.

“What? Am I right for once?” He wrapped his arm around your waist again, bringing your chest flush against his. The smile didn’t fade from his lips, almost like he was trying to bask in the bubbly mood you were in.

“Maybe.” You shook your head in disbelief, finally meeting his eyes with confidence.

Silence fell over the both of you. Either in agreement or understanding, but a mutual feeling floated between you two.

“I wanna hear more.” Seungcheol admitted, stroking your cheekbone with unexpected tenderness.

“M…more about what?” Your cheeks burn under his touch, his other hand squeezing your hip.

“About what’s going on in that head of yours.” Seungcheol’s hand slid up your spine, wracking a shiver out of you. He pressed your body taut against his, trying to dissapate the space. It worked increasingly well, as the room felt small, that it was just you and him.

“God no, it’d be so embarrassing to admit aloud. To you.” You laugh weakly, your hands deciding to travel on his chest. Firm muscle is all you can feel under your palms, and he’s clearly enjoying the attention. 

“Really? What is it? You think about me in a certain way?” Seungcheol asked while raising a knowing eyebrow.

Your eyes blinked wider, and an immediate blush grew on your cheeks. Your hands froze their travel on his chest and landed on his shoulders to ground yourself.

All he does is laugh, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Seungcheol found you so unbearably cute, pulling back out to look at you with a gummy smile.

“I’m right again, aren’t I?” 

“Fuck off, seriously.” You groaned out, maneuvering out of his arms to escape Seungcheol’s teasing scrutiny. He almost let you, grabbing onto your wrist once you're an arms length away.

“Why?” He whined, tugging you back. “Let's go back home. Leave this stupid party.”

You know what his intentions are, you know damn well. 

And of course you're going to say yes.

—

You’re sheepishly toeing off your kitten heels, feeling shy with his eyes on you for what felt like ages. You’re unsure why he’s staring, but it made your skin flush from your cheeks to your neck.

“What?” You mumbled out, feeling out of place.

“Nothing.” Seungcheol smiled, walking towards you once your heels are finally off.

His hands are back on your body, your heart leaping into your throat. Your eyes expectantly darted over the expanse of his face. He cupped your cheeks, grounding you with the warmth of his palm.

“Can I kiss you?” Seungcheol quietly asked, tilting your head up to meet his lips.

A shaky exhale left your lips as you nod mutely, your hands sliding up his chest. A silent gesture that you want him as bad as he wants you.

Without a second word his lips surged and chased after yours. 

You struggled to keep up with his pace, his hands and mouth all over you. Seungcheol walked you back towards his bedroom, his hands sneaking under your skirt to grab a handful of your ass. In response, you yelped at the sudden sensation of Seungcheol’s hands kneading at your globes, and clamped your thighs around his hand once his ring finger rubbed the hem of your wet panties. 

Seungcheol pried your legs open and wrapped them around his waist, and you easily complied, tightening your legs as he carried you. His hands shoving your shirt under your bra, feeling the slope of your waist and the warmth you're burning.

“God, you don’t wanna know the things I wanted to do when I first saw you.” Seungcheol groaned into your lips. 

You gasped for air, and he easily took it away. Each kiss was going breath for breath, and you couldn’t complain. His teeth dragging down your lower lip, his tongue sliding against yours languidly. You curl into his touch, utterly wrecked and dying for more. You can barely respond with his tongue in your mouth. The way he worked it made you feel all fluttery and lightheaded. 

His hands roamed the expanse of your skin, feeling how your pulse jumped whenever he deepened the kiss. Seungcheol gripped onto you like this was a dream, and he was just trying to ground himself.

A shiver wracked your body as his lips found their way to your neck. His breath tickling your neck just as you imagined, your hands clutching onto his shirt helplessly in response.

"Seungcheol-" you pant out at the sensation. He placed soft, wet kisses along your neck and collarbone.

He hummed against your skin, relishing how your voice vibrated against his lips. He dragged his tongue up the slope of your neck, savoring your perfume and the salty taste of your skin. Seungcheol’s nose nuzzled against your pulse point before nipping and sucking at it. Your breath hitched, your hands gripping on his shoulders to ground yourself.

"I need you to say my name more often." He mouthed into your skin, nipping and sucking a blooming hickey. “It sounds good from your lips.” He mused, pulling back to look at your flushed face.

Your kiss-bitten lips make you even more irresistible. The reddening hickey on your collar was deepening, and a rush of pride flooded through Seungcheol’s system.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled you into his lap, pressing his hips up shamelessly. A hot rush flooded your body, your hips jumping in shock, but still dragged along his cock in response. Your eyes blew open in shock, but he just groaned into your neck. He bucked the bulge of his dick right against your clit with a desirable precision, yanking out a sharp gasp from you. A jolt of pleasure made your body shiver, and writhe against his movements. 

"Gonna make you feel so good. So fucking good." His voice was husky and strained. Unable to stop his rutting like a horny teenager, but the way you gasped and rolled your hips when he did, he couldn't hold back. The rough material of his jeans dug into the thin fabric of your panties has you mewling. You’re too distracted to cover your noises, and fuck, he rolled his hips harder to ellict a sharp gasp from your lips.

"Ah- fuck, Seungcheol." You stammered out, trying to ignore the blossoming heat and ache when he rubbed his hips up. He did it slowly and deliberately, dragging it against your needy clit. Your brain already was blanking with the coiling pleasure in your stomach.

"Do you feel how bad I want you?" Seungcheol removed his head away from your neck, his hands gliding on your sides. He played with the bunched up fabric of your tank, admiring how disheveled you looked from his simple ministrations.

You nod, your lips in a tight line of restraint. He can see the way your teeth sink into your lower lip, and you noticed Seungcheol hasn't even looked you in the eye once.

His attention was fully on your mouth, how your lips have a wet sheen of spit, and have that red look after kissing you so intensely, how he pulled out moans after moans.

"I can’t fucking hold back anymore…" He breathed out, his lips on your skin, rolling his hips again. You can't help but chase after that feeling, grinding back onto him. He groaned in response, his eyes glinting with something dark. His hands squeezed  your hips to stop you, or well, to stop himself.

"Let me be inside you. Mouth, finger, dick, whatever you want baby." Seungcheol’s breathing labored, like he's holding back his true power.

The way he’s looking at you like a goddess, like a deity, has you melting into his lap. Your hips weakly squirming on his lap, missing the friction. He weakly laughed, kissing your cheek, and easily rolled his hips back up in a slow movement.

"Should I just take my time with you? Find what you like, since it's your first, hm?" Seungcheol nipped at your jaw, kissing your cheek.

Your stomach flipped as his words were an awful reminder. Yes, this was your first, but it wouldn't be the first time you wished Seungcheol would fuck you so dumb, you would forget your own name. His hands squeezed your hips, as his sneaky fingers dipped into your waistband hesitantly as he waited for you to answer. 

"Yeah- yeah... whatever you... wanna do to me." You mumbled out embarrassingly, and you can see the groan being yanked from his chest. Seungcheol’s eyes fell shut as he buried his face into your chest. He took a deep breath of your scent, nipping at your skin to hide the second groan.

"Fuck..." He practically moaned, his brain working overtime to even process a sane thought.

"Why would you say that?" He whispered, his breath hot against your prickled skin.

"I want that." You murmured, cupping his face to look at you again. That does it. His eyes are glinting with pure adrenaline and desire. He kissed you hard, breathless and hungry.

This wasn't like any kiss you had before, they were always tentative and timid. This kiss is fueled with desire and pure lust as his teeth crash against yours carelessly. There was practically no air between you two, with his nose smashed against your cheek. His hands gripping you with a tightness that'll leave you with bruises, that you are more than thankful for.

He flipped you in his lap so easily, it made your brain spin at his sheer strength. His breath tickled your ear as you pressed your back against his chest.

"If you want it so bad, baby, then watch me do it." He whispered into your ear, and fuck, your thighs clamped immediately. 

He let out a laugh, “Not so confident now, are you?” 

He nipped at the shell of your ear as he cooed sweet nothings, not helping the already soaked part in your panties. He pried your legs back open like he owned them, his fingers rubbing circles into your clammy inner thighs.

His fingertips alone on your skin have you already squirming and feeling hot. You've spent too many nights dragging your fingers along your body, wishing it was Seungcheol's instead.

"Baby, watch." He whined gently, prodding his nose against your cheekbone. 

Your eyes shoot up to the floor length mirror in front of you. It's dim in his room, but the bedside lamp illuminated the room more than enough. 

You can see how much bigger Seungcheol is than you, how he has his whole body draped over you. The light showed each shadow of his muscle on his biceps, making his jaw sharp as he whispered praises. And most importantly the bulge of his thick cock tucked in his pants. You simply shake your head, swallowing your dry mouth at the thought of his dick.

"Are you watching?" Seungcheol murmured, his hands trailing your body slowly, giving you no idea where he'll put them.

He took his time, kissing your neck while memorizing each crook, each shiver, each gasp he took out when he touched a sensitive part. Seungcheol pulled your shirt off, tossing it away like it was covered in acid. His hand stroked your stomach, and went to take off your bra. He unclasped it with a familiar precision that made your heart twist. He must have done it regularly to do it with such ease. His actions immediately shut up your thoughts, as he circled your aerola with his pointer finger.

The soft, ghost-like sensation has you squirming pathetically. He smiled wickedly, kissing and licking the shell of your ear.

His breath fanned cold against your damp skin, your hands balling up into fists at the feeling. 

“Feel good?” He murmured, his voice rumbling in your chest.

You helplessly nod, your hips flexing for any pressure on your weepy cunt. He took note of it, but did nothing to help you, enjoying the way you withered under his touch so easily. Seungcheol continued to drag his pointer finger languidly around your hardening nipple, never really touching it.

Heat pooled in between your legs, everything feeling fuzzy from the alcohol and adrenaline. It enhanced the way the rough pad of his thumb brushed over your nipple at a torturous pace. That simple gesture made you writhe under his touch so easily. His other hand ran down your stomach, making it flex in anticipation. 

He stopped right at the waistband of your skirt, his breathing surprisingly even against your cheek.

“You see how beautiful you are?” Seungcheol practically purred, admiring how wrecked you already look. 

Seungcheol brushed your stomach with his thumb, playfully dipping his nail into your navel before toying with the band of your skirt. He eventually took it off, leaving you in only your panties.

“Say yes.” He murmured, nipping at your jaw. At first, your throat seemingly didn’t work. But when he returned his fingers to roll and tug at your hardened nub between his pointer and thumb, a sharp gasp yanked from your lips. 

“Y-yes.” You breathed out shakily, still lust-clouded. He noted how your stomach caved in the mirror at the touch, a sly grin growing on his lips.

“Such a good girl. You listen so well.” He praised quietly.

His hand dipped past your waistband, making you tense in anticipation. His fingers applied pressure past your bladder, down to your mons pubis, massaging down there for a moment. You whined impatiently, making Seungcheol’s smirk ghost on your cheek. The sudden pressure on your clit made your thighs twitch, his lips kissing your neck to distract you. 

Slowly, he coaxed out moans from your lips. The pad of his finger rubbed the sensitive nub in circles. His hand returned back to toy with your hardened nipple, flicking it lightly compared to the pressure on your clit. The touch on your puffy clit has you withering so easily. The noises of pleasure push at your bitten lips, and it just pet Seungcheol’s ego. 

He’s the one doing this to you, he’s the one watching you unravel, he’s the one.

His finger left your chest and tapped your jaw, returning your attention back to your face in the mirror. He’s already watching you squirm in his lap with heavy lidded eyes.

“Don’t take your eyes off.” Seungcheol commanded, pressing harder on your clit and making you jump. “I’ll show you who knows this pussy the best.”

His words of promise made you pathetically whimper. Seungcheol smirked at your reaction, keeping his cheek pressed against your, making sure you watched him. Seungcheol ran two fingers down your weepy folds, smearing your arousal around. 

“God– so wet already.” He kissed your temple, a stark tender gesture.

You can only whimper in response, already flooded with pleasure that buzzed under your skin. Seungcheol pressed a digit against your entrance, spreading your slick onto your puffy folds. His thumb worked on your achy, needy clit; watching you with hungry eyes through the mirror. 

Your hands balled up the material of his jeans to steady yourself in the pool of pleasure. You can’t help but shut your eyes, and relish the feeling. He already has you gasping and mewling at the sensation like a needy little thing.

His finger tapped on your jaw again, your eyes snapping back to the mirror. You were so lost in the sensation, you forgot to abide by his rule.

Suddenly, Seungheol’s hand goes still, making your hips twitch needily. An upset whine fell from your lips, and he just tapped on your jaw again, a silent reminder.

“W-what? What happened…” You helplessly pant out, confused and so utterly horny. Your core aches at the loss of him, a throbbing ghost-like sensations on your clit.

“Baby, I said watch.” There’s a demanding grit to his tone that sent a shiver up your spine. So scarily so, it made you swallow thickly in panic, and nod.

“Y-yes. Okay, I- I will.” You responded back, so eager to please and to get pleased.

“Say it.” Seungcheol stated bluntly, earning a dumbfounded look from you.

“Say… say what?”

“Say what you want from me.” He rephrased, his thumb rubbing lazily on your clit. The touch made you whimper, and he immediately pulled back, wanting to hear you plead.

You flushed a deep pink, and he simply smiled. Those annoyingly charming dimples deepened, making you whine in protest.

“Beg you mean?” You groaned at the thought.

“Should I have said that in the first place? Did you want me to say: beg for how badly you want my fingers inside this wet pussy?” He mused, that shit eating grin never leaving his lips. Seungcheol’s clearly enjoying the way you squirm and blush at the sight of him touching you with your panties on.

You tensed up at his words, your pussy aching so desperately now. You could have sworn he felt the hot trickle of arousal drip down your thighs, making him smirk all knowingly.

“No– no… I understood.” You scrambled to say, trying to grapple back your dignity.

“Then beg.” He sternly commented, his voice was low against your ear. Your body shivering at the thought of his touch.

“Please… please I need your fingers.” You pathetically attempted, your eyes stuck on him in the mirror. 

“Where, baby?” Seungcheol tugged down your panties and tossed them carelessly, baring your hot folds to the air.

“In… inside me.” You answered meekly, hoping that’ll be enough.

“Good job, beautiful.” Seungcheol murmured, not needing another word as his fingers were already working again. His pointer finger left your jaw, hoping you’ll behave this time.

His lips returned to the sensitive spot he found earlier, Seungcheol’s hands trailed down your stomach which made you twitch in anticipation. Your weepy cunt is getting his jeans all wet, so Seungcheol manuevered your legs, hooking them over his forearms. Your glossy folds are exposed in the mirror, the light glinting against your arousal.

“Aren’t you so fucking gorgeous? Spread open just for me, huh?” Seungcheol remarked as his pointer figner traveled down to spread your folds open. 

He rubbed his middle finger along your slit, and went back up to draw circles around your clit. A shaky exhale escaped your lips at the gentle, tentative touch. He hummed, pressing his lips against your cheek, nipping at the skin for your attention. You understood what he wanted, and turned your head to meet his lips. 

The pad of his finger rubbed on your entrance, and you couldn’t take it anymore, rutting against it helplessly. He finally slid it inside, curling upwards and immediately finding the sweet spot. A sharp gasp left your lips, and he swallowed it hungrily in the kiss.

Pleasure coiled tightly in your stomach, as he relentlessly rubbed his finger against that spongy point. His thumb pressed rhythmically against your clit, making you squirm and writhe in his grip.

He pulled away from the kiss, “Watch baby.” Seungcheol painstakingly reminded you, but continued thrusting and curling his finger against that spot. 

It felt impossible to focus on anything else but the delicious pleasure he’s giving you. But you didn’t want him to stop, so your eyes dragged back to the mirror.

The sight of his digit, knuckle deep inside you, has you dripping even more. You watch how his digit slid into your slicked cunt with no resistance. With a second finger in, you didn’t last long. The way they curled against your slick walls and pressed incessantly against a spot has you seeing stars. Your stomach already grew taut with pleasure ready to snap.

The sound of his fingers moving in and out your dripping entrance were matching up with each gasp and whine that escaped you. Your hips bucked and twitched everytime Seungcheol deliberately pressed on that spongy spot inside you.

“Close?” He asked, but he knew the damn answer. He just wanted you to admit it, that he’s the one making you come.

You nod sharply, “Yes– ngh– coming-” you pathetically rasped out.

Seungcheol doubled his efforts, his lips attacking your neck, as his digits thrusted and pressed harder against your sweet spot. The sensation is overwhelming as pleasure hit you in waves. He worked harder to pull out gasps and whines, relentlessly abusing your g-spot with attention.

Your moans died on your tongue as you clamped around him tightly. A rush of pleasure wracking your body as you tensed up on his lap. Your release spilled onto his jeans, leaving an even bigger wet spot than before. He watched you come undone with a hungry glint, rubbing your clit as you came down. 

He whispered sweet nothings into your ear, making your orgasm feel all fluttery and warm. 

“Such a good job, you came so beautifully.” He cooed and dropped your limp legs, tilting your head to meet his lips.

The kiss was slow and rewarding, your pants being swallowed by his groans. 

Once you two pulled away, he lifted you up effortlessly, and laid you on your back. 

It was his turn to take off his clothes. As he tugged off his shirt, your wandering hands fumbled to pull off his jeans.

He laughed at how cute you were, with that face of determination but yet frustration. Eventually, he kicked off his jeans and boxer in one smooth motion. 

Now that he was fully naked, something wasn’t adding up. His dick laid against a patch of trimmed hair, way smaller than you imagined. Your brain was straining, and replaying the shrill moans the girls he was fucking.

“You’re smaller than I thought.” The words fell off your tongue before you could register. 

He raised an eyebrow up, and settled between your thighs. He scanned your face one more time, to find any sarcasm, but your confusion was genuine. Maybe you had too high of expectations, but he’s standing tall at around four or five inches.

Noting that you were very serious, Seungcheol laughed. A proud smile on his lips, “It won’t feel that small.” 

Your stomach fluttered at his retort. He leaned in close enough his breath was fanning over your ear.

“See for yourself.” Seungcheol reached out for your hand, guiding it to his cock. 

You tenatively stroked your hand around his length, squeezing before you dragged it back up. He groaned in response, urging you to do more.

Before you know it, his cock laid fully erect, and… looked like a fucking weapon. The puzzle pieces finally clicked in your head, he was a fucking grower.

Your lips part in shock, and all he does is smile. He slides his cock against your sticky folds, gathering up your arousal to coat his length.

“Why are you so quiet now? Hm?” He prodded, pressing his tip against your entrance. Seungcheol continued the action, sliding his cock through your slick folds, making sure it caught at your puckered entrance.

“Ah– didn’t– I didn’t expect that.” You mumbled out, squirming as he continued to rub his tip on your entrance.

“You didn’t? Seungcheol hummed, tilting his head as he dragged his cock through your folds, purposefully tapping the tip on your clit. 

You gasp, your legs squeezing his sides from the direct pressure on your sensitive clit. Seungcheol does it again, and again until you finally sputter out helplessly.

“No– no I didn’t.” You scrambled to say, your mind already stirring with pleasure. You helplessly pushed your hips up, and he stopped the attention on your clit.

He tutted, spreading your legs wider with his thighs, and used his thumbs to expose your dripping pussy.

“Look at this greedy thing… Soaking wet and I haven’t even put my cock in you yet.” He mused, his thumb rubbing next to where you really need him. 

You bite your lower lip, trying to restrain yourself from saying or doing anything crazy. You wanted to be good for him.

“Does your pussy want my dick?” Seungcheol pushed his thumb inside, pressing on your walls. 

A sharp moan escaped your lips, your thighs twitching at the sudden touch. Seungcheol used his thumb to open you wider, holding the head of his cock against your fluttering hole.

“Answer me.” Seungcheol said firmly, his thumb insistently rubbing on a spot that makes your words catch in your throat.

“Yes– god- please. Seungcheol, I want it.” You gasped out.

“Want what? Use your words, I know you’re a smart girl.” 

A dark blush grew on your cheeks, still squirming as his thumb rubbed against your gummy walls. 

“I want… your cock, please.” You begged pliantly.

He groaned at your words, kissing you deeply before removing his thumb.

He broke the kiss to press his forehead against yours, and slowly pushed himself in. The stretch burned, making you clamp around him, a strangled gasp escaping your lips. He kissed your noises away, trying to distract you.

He pulled away to latch his lips against your nipple, making your arch unexpectedly into his mouth. His free hand pinched the other hardened peak, and took the chance to slide a couple inches deeper.

“Relax for me, promise, I’ll make you feel good.” He murmured, capturing your lips once again in a hazy tangle.

Every small thrust Seungcheol made, created your body to go rigid, your lips parting in a ghost of a moan.

“Doing okay?” Seungcheol asked with attentive eyes, his hands sliding along your body appreciatively.

You managed to nod, flushing under his stare.

His control was slipping slightly, from the way you were gripping onto him so tightly whenever he moved, Seungcheol couldn’t take it anymore.

With a bit of his cock left, he filled you up to the hilt, a gasp yanking from your lips. You felt so full, the wind was knocked out of you, and you can feel each vein throbbing against your velvet walls.

Seungcheol rolled his hips, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. He kissed your neck, his hands stroking along your frame. The pleasure is already building up in your stomach, and your skin burned hot when he started whispering sweet praises into your ear.

“Fuck- you feel so good.” Seungcheol groaned, slowly dragging his cock along your fluttering walls.

His hands roamed on your body, his lips met your jaw as he continued the relentless grinding. With his experimental rolls, he found a spot that made you gasp and clench around him. An immediate smirk grew on his face as he deliberately rolled his hips into that spot. 

“Right here? Does it feel good?” Seungcheol pulled back, continuing to rut his hips into that spot. He watched your face contort blissfully with pleasure.

“Ah- yes– fuck, Seungcheol!” You sobbed out as he dragged his cock back before slamming back in, hitting even deeper.

Your pussy gushed with arousal around his length, his hands holding you by your hips and his thumbs dug into your bladder. Your back arched as the pleasure struck you like a lightning bolt, your vision going bleak.

You immediately clamped around him at the pressure, making him groan lowly. He pounded into you a bit faster, pulling you down on his cock quicker.

“Fuck, your pussy is sucking on my cock so greedily.” Seungcheol grimaced, trying to hold himself back. 

 “Do you need more, hm? Can you take more, baby?” He pulled back before slamming in deeper, and grinding the head of his cock against your g-spot.

A sharp cry yanked from your lips, his thumbs returning the pressure on your bladder. He simply rolled his hips against that spot incessantly.

“Poor baby can’t even speak, can you?” He leaned down, his lips hovering over yours. Seungcheol massaged your stomach again, feeling you clamp down on his cock desperately.

He smirked, crashing his lips against yours as he picked up the pace. Fucking you with renewed energy that has you shifting up the bed. 

Pleasure struck your body hard, your clit throbbing painfully as he pressed on your bladder harder.

“C-close-” Is all you can croak out, your brain long gone due to the sheer pleasure fogging your senses.

That one word is the only thing Seungcheol needs before he fucked you precisely into the same spot, making you shout and moan his name. His free hand pinching your clit, making you clamp even tighter around his girthy cock. His other hand stayed flat, applying pressure on your bladder.

“Y’ gonna squirt for me? Show me, baby, show how good I’m making you feel.” Seungcheol punctuated his words with his thrusts, the heel of his palm digging straight into your bladder, making you sob out.

That was all it took, and you squirted with a shout. Your juices flooding down your thighs and jumping to your stomach. Seungcheol’s thrusts were getting sloppy at how tight you were sucking onto him, wet squelching noises filling the room. Tears of pleasure streaking down your perfect makeup as you arching into his chest. Seungcheol grunted as you desperately milked his cock, but he held back, trying to lengthen your orgasm. 

Once you were shaking and squealing after every shallow thrust, he pulled out and crashed his lips against yours. His tongue felt hot as it dragged along yours, you helplessly stuck your tongue back to reciprocate, still floating from the post orgasm.

Your brain was lightheaded as Seungcheol took away your breath with the kiss, and as he swallowed each pant and plea from your plush lips. Seungcheol manhandled your limp body and flipped you onto all fours with ease. 

“Tell me if it's too much, ‘kay? Gonna fuck you stupid. Gonna show you who really owns this pussy. Sounds good?” Seungcheol spread your legs with his knees, and tugged your ass cheeks apart to reveal your puffy, swollen pussy.

He spanked your clit with his fingers. You jolt at the sensation, a shaky cry escaping your lips. The pain made your core drip at the sting, the rush of adrenaline made your skin feel staticky. You dreamt of this, his roughness and experience, making you tip over the edge, feeling absolutely wrecked. 

“Ngh- please-” You pant, burying your face into the pillows that smell like his cologne and scalp. You helplessly pushed up your hips and he groaned, harshly rubbing on your clit.

“You want that, huh?” He smirked, continuing to press cruelly on your clit. You're too orgasm-dazed, but you know you need him inside again. You weakly can imagine the way his cock dragged against your fluttery walls, your cunt dripping and gaping around nothing.

You nod erratically into the pillows with incoherent mumbles, pushing up your hips desperately. He groped the round of your ass, rutting his cock into your folds and gathered slick once again. After whining impatiently and rolling your hips back, he laughed and complied.

He aligned his cock back with your entrance, and pushed back in with one full thrust.

A sharp sob yanked out from your chest, your body arching to accommodate his length. 

“Fuck… look at you, so greedy still. Even made you come twice and you're still as fucking tight.” He pulled back, thrusting in an inch each time. He pulled out further, and harshly thrusted back in, earning a whine from you.

“Trust me, baby, I’ll make you beg me to stop.” Those words made you groan, nodding absently at that promise.

All he does is chuckle, gripping onto your hips so tight, you’re sure it’ll bruise. At first he moved slowly, searching for a spot that’ll make you gasp. He leaned over, kissing your exposed neck, down the column of your spine. When he rutted his hips deeper, a sharp, guttural moan escaped you, your body arching back onto his desperately. 

“Ngh– fuck– there, Seungcheol.” You rasped out, hands digging into the bedsheets.

“I got you, baby.” He placed open-mouthed kisses down your back. He started picking up the pace, and he pulled out to slam straight into the spot that makes you see stars. 

At some point, each thrust was straight at that toe-curling spot. Your vision went bleak from the pleasure, then a sharp cry coming from your lips as he spanked your right cheek. 

The tingling sensation amplifying the way his hips slapped against your ass with each thrust. His hand soothed over the blooming red spot, “Too much?” He checked in.

You shook your head, babbling something incoherent afterwards, too lost in the pleasure. He groaned, kneading your plush ass before fucking you faster. 

“Too fucked out to respond, you’re so cute.” Seungcheol mumbled, more to himself, as his hands glided along your body appreciatively.

A sharp whine escaped your lips, your body arching like a cat as you buried your face into his pillows. 

Your sobs are muffled against the pillow, but he can make out: “‘m coming- ‘m close–!”

He wrapped his arm around your neck, lifting you up slightly in a chokehold. His bicep flexed around your head, holding you up right and higher to pound into you deeper.

He grunted behind his bitten lip, giving you more. 

“Come on baby, come for me.” He huffed, pounding into you harder, deeper.

Your lips part, in a ghost of a moan, your body going taut before your legs slightly give up. 

You start shaking when he doesn’t pull out, instead his free hand wrapped around your torso, pulling you flush against his chest. He tightens his chokehold around your head, your cheeks being squished by his muscles.

You swear you see heaven when he briefly adjusted the pressure to your throat. Your pussy spasming, and dripping like a fucking faucet.

“Shit– baby, you’re so fucking messy.” He grimaced, using his other free hand to hook under your knee.

Stars prick your vision at how deep he’s going, the overstimulation bringing you close to another impending orgasm. Your sloppy cunt took his cock like it was meant for him, the wet squelching noises filling the room along with the rhythmic sound of skin meeting skin. You clamped around his cock helplessly, gasping his name like a prayer and clutching onto his bicep.

Tears brink your glazed over eyes, his teeth sinking down onto your shoulder, insinuating his upcoming orgasm. 

“Don’t hold back baby,” He rasped out, fucking into deep spots, you never knew could be reached in sex, in this new position.

You let out a pitiful sob, throwing your head back against his shoulder and he groaned as your tight heat gushed around him. He continued to thrust deeper, chasing his orgasm with intensity.

Your body shook, your head blank as all you can think about is how his cock is destroying you in half. 

He finally came with a grunt, his teeth digging into your shoulder hard enough to break the skin. His release painted your walls white with the ropes of cum, as he filled you to the brim. 

He let you down slowly and carefully, pulling out once he finished coming.

Your brain was foggy, but you felt how he kissed your cheek tenderly before leaving the bed, making the mattress shift under the loss of his weight.

Seungcheol came back with a warm, wet towel, and adjusted you on your back. He comfortably set a pillow under your head and lower back.

“Hey, are you doing okay? Was I too rough?” He cupped your face, wiping away the tears on his cheek.

All you did was nod, your throat felt stripped after screaming from pure pleasure. You can see a smile growing on his lips, and he settled between your legs, wiping away the mixture of liquids.

“Just you wait– gonna do something.” He murmured, more to himself because you’re already dozing off.

—

You wake up in new sheets, new clothes, and… a new warmth that doesn’t come from the blanket.

It’s Seungcheol.

The weight of his arm draped over you is comforting, and it’s something you could get used to. Your eyes fluttered back shut, relishing the morning sun on your face. 

Seungcheol shifted beside you, his arm on your waist moved up, and he pulled you in closer.

“Sore?” He asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Yeah… really sore.” You let out a weak laugh, and when you flutter your eyes open again, you’re met with a sulking Seungcheol.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, showering kisses all over your face in compensation.

“No– I… I really liked it. Like feeling… spent.” You admitted, and he wished you didn’t. 

“Baby, why…” He whined as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

You kind of wondered what Seungcheol would be like after sex, and you're more than thankful he’s clingy.

“It’s the truth.” You mumbled, stroking his brown locks.

“Okay, as long as you don’t lie to me.” He pulled back to look you in your eyes.

You smiled automatically at the sight of him, and he physically softened, returning you with a gummy smile.

He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, “Hey, thanks for letting… me be your first.” 

The admission was quiet, hesitant almost, but he looked shy more than anything.

“Oh. That…” The same smile stuck on your face, and you cupped his puffed up cheeks with a tenderness he didn’t expect. His eyes slightly widening when he met your sweet, crinkled at the corner, eyes. 

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my first.” You murmured, brushing your finger over his eyebrow.

“Well, I’m honored.” He grinned, kissing the corner of your lips, then the corner of your eye.

You can now admit, that sex with Seungcheol is fucking heavenly, but only you can say that the morning after, is even better.

a/n2: thank you for finishing this fic!!! hopefully you can taste my blood sweat and tears in it.... i'm also so thankful to the positive feedback i got on my teaser, it really motivated me to write. so thank you guys for being so supportive! sorry if i missed anyone in the taglist!! its not a personal thing... this was all stressful for me lmfao so please... cut me some slack.

If you didn’t already exceed at the ‘Loser check list’, you’re currently occupied at your cluttered desk. Head buried in textbooks, knee anxiously bouncing, hands taut in your ‘day two’ hair. 

There was an assignment that was due yesterday and you’ve been constantly thinking about it since. To be honest, you don’t even know why you put it off, you swear you only did that to make yourself go insane.

You thought that you'll live a little but you're always stuck studying and finishing presentations. Or when you do socialize, all your friends talk about the cute boy on campus, how dinner went with their boyfriend of two months, or their sneaky link ghosting them. 

Those were also gentle reminders why you stay single. Though, you did have your fair share; some blowjobs, as in one, then making out, and the list kind of stopped there. You prioritized homework and studying, over boys that are Mr. Minute Man.

As if college couldn’t get any worse, you're also stuck with a sucky ass roommate. You didn't want to pay for on campus dorms, so you decided on a nicer place, but having to commute to school every day.

The thing is with your roommate, they're full of shit, obnoxious, always, and when I mean always, it's constant, they're constantly fucking someone. You thought your libido was high? Oh no, you've truly been out-freaked by your roommate, Choi, freaking, Seungcheol.

Practically half of the campus girls have walked in and out of your flat. The real reason why, is because of Choi Seungcheol's fucking dick. His cock is a living and walking legend. Him as a whole is already a package: strong arms, deep voice, tall, and broad. Then, his dick was just the ribbon on the entire present. 

Truly his greed sickens you, and yet the fact he's fucking a sorority sister, maybe every other week, agitates you. It made you wonder, is it really that good? And, made you want to be next.

—

It was another quiet day in your shared flat, you're brewing coffee absently. Seungcheol had left the house for some activity in his fraternity. He said it was some team bonding shit and then slammed the door. Perfect, you thought, the house was finally silent. 

The awfully thin walls reverberated the moans from the squealiest girl he fucked last night. You needed this coffee and silence more than anything right now. Your brain buzzed busily as you recalled the homework and upcoming tests you needed to finish and study for.

The electric kettle clicked with the bubbling of boiling water, signifying you to get out of your head. You poured the boiling water into a thick, glass mug. Stirring up the syrup concoction you just made.

It was your natural routine, the sound of your metal spoon clinking against your mug, the rumbling and humming of cars outside your flat. It was comforting to say the least, when it was quiet.

Although many days like this, your brain wasn't. The loud noises from last night always sink into your stomach, coiling like a boa constrictor ready to eat their prey. You don’t know when this sexual fixation started, or how you were so sensitive to… well that stuff.

Maybe it started when you read stupid smut books where they don't even execute sex properly. Then when you were older, watching stupid pornos where they go at an ungodly speed, and somehow you couldn’t live without thinking about sex.

What got to your head was the fact you were so inexperienced, yet so experienced at the same time.

You let out a sharp exhale, checking your phone with sudden urgency you didn't seem to have five minutes ago. Your friends had decided you didn't come outside your house enough this month, so they invited you to eat some brunch with them.

It always went the same way, small talk, boyfriend talk, then to 'are-you-seeing-anyone' talk. Like, they’ve managed to ask the same thing in the span of a week. Perhaps it might have changed, but for you, no way in heaven it would. It's okay, they were good friends nonetheless. Always pushing you to do new things, and keeping that spark of social skills alive in you, despite your refusal.

There's not much they can do when you've set your standards higher than your grades, which your grades are pretty high. Or modestly high. Or is it average? You don't know anymore, with the ghost of expectations haunting you. A strict set of rules no one ever asked you to meet.

—

You quickly tidied up your hair as you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror. Your lips tugged up into a staged smile, then into a smirk of pure shock. You haven't seen yourself so put together in maybe, months? Usually these small dates with your friends always motivate you to doll yourself up.

It's almost addictive how good you look, when you put effort into your looks. You don't care how you look most of the time, because literally no one else cares. Plus, Seungcheol brings over these goddess-like girls, and you don't even dare try to compete with them. Not like you... no, not like you ever thought about appealing to Seungcheol. 

As you exited the house, Seungcheol was making his way back home, glancing at you like a stranger.

"Where are you going?" He pressed, making you shoot him an incredulous glare.

"Brunch. With my friends." You stated it like it was the obvious, like he could have guessed. Which he couldn't. He doesn't believe in 'brunch', it's either late breakfast or early lunch, no such thing as 'brunch', he proclaimed the last time you uttered such words.

"Oh, okay." He cocked an accusing eyebrow, and walked into the house. You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes at how stupid that interaction was.

That summed up your relationship, a few words, a glare, and then thick silence. Honestly, you’re kind of thankful though, you couldn’t manage a high maintenance roommate anyways.

You sighed slamming your car door to silence the endless spill of words in your head. Your eyes try to keep focus on the route as your knuckles clenched to white. He's so utterly stupid, you can't believe people would flock over to suck his dick—

Your GPS yelled at you that you had missed your left turn. A long sigh dragged from your lips as you followed the prompted directions. You’re shooting glances at your phone whilst making sure a car doesn’t decide to jump in front of you.

Though, you don't know how Seungcheol practically inhabited a chunk of your brain, the ratio being 95% school and 5% Seungcheol. He’s your roommate, you shouldn’t imagine wanting to run your hands along his back muscles, tracing the tattoo of an olive tree on his shoulder blade. 

Whenever he occupied your thoughts, you couldn’t figure out why. Even if you were to stop and think, it’d strain your big, beautiful brain. You wouldn’t dare date him, he sleeps around, he’s an asshole, he’s not as driven as you are. He’s just… just someone you shouldn’t date or be affiliated with.

-

The cafe was cozy, with welcoming colors and flourishing plants. In the window, you can see an older guy with a newspaper who sat alone in a booth. A family of four eating at a table, talking animatedly to each other. Then an awfully chatty dude talking to the guy working behind the bar, adjusting the cakes on the display. 

After you begrudgingly parallel parked, the door chimed as you pushed it open. A chipper, brunette hostess greeted you, but your friends are already hooting and hollering in a booth that you can only see in your peripheral.

"I'm... with them." You motioned with your thumbs and the hostess just nodded as an understanding smile grew on her lips.

"Oh my god! It's a miracle!" Erika exclaimed, her dyed dirty blonde hair tied neatly up into a bun. A gummy warm smile graced her already beautiful face.

"Is it really one? We had to beg her to come out." Jennifer retorted, snorting before she drank a sip out of her Chai latte. She tucked her silky black hair behind her ear, her dainty silver piercings glimmering in the morning light.

You let out a scoff as you playfully shoved Jennifer, who gasped in offense. "Listen now, I just didn't want to bail on your guy's beautiful faces." 

"Please, we all know you need relationship advice." Jennifer murmured slyly, making Erika laugh. She always laughed at anything, and which you're thankful for, because you'd actually fight Jennifer if it wasn't for Erika's sweet laughter.

"Me? How's you and that mysterious campus boy you kissed at the last sorority party?" You snapped, Jennifer returning it with a lazy eye roll.

"Hey, that was just a one time thing. He's kind of weird." She admitted, stirring her drink blankly.

Erika hummed noncommittally, seemingly deep in thought, or just spacing out. "Wasn't he like a stoner? I'm pretty sure Jiwon got in trouble last time for being with a guy who did drugs."

"Erika what the actual hell are you talking about?" Jennifer laughed, looking at Erika's already dumbfounded face.

"Oh my god, are you guys talking about Chris? Seungcheol said he got kicked out." You whispered in a conspirative manner. Seungcheol didn't actually tell you this directly, you just happened to overhear.

"You kissed Chris?" Erika's face visibly repulsed, plucking up her menu.

"No! I don't know what this idiot is talking about—" Jennifer sighed loudly as she cut herself off, playfully glaring back at you.

"Speaking of Seungcheol, you should go to his party this weekend." Jennifer suggested to you in order to change the topic, her manicured nails clinking against her drink.

"Girl, if I went to a party, something seriously wrong must have happened." You plainly responded, closing your menu. "Are you guys ready to order?"

Erika hummed in response, stirring the straw around lazily. Jennifer called over the waiter who happened to be placing out cups of water for a family at a nearby table. Jennifer was always the strong-headed, blunt beauty in this trio. With her dark hair and monochromatic clothing, even you would date her.

Erika on the other hand... was different. Her bubbly, giggly attitude was a stark difference to Jennifer. To the pastel and warm toned clothing and delicate, you can say those two were polar opposites.

With you, you were the perfect mix of them both. That's why you guys get along so well. Even though they nag you about your absent dating life. 

-

Your meal came in a speedy matter, you’re already stuffing your face because just coffee wouldn't cut it for you. 

Erika and Jennifer rambled about the drama between sororities right now. How girls are constantly getting caught being indecent literally anywhere now. They turn their attention to your crumb dusted face.

"Say, has Seungcheol been bringing anyone to your flat recently?" Erika poked, pointing her fork at you.

"No? Well, usually he's been doing it when I'm out of the house in the library." You chewed on your right side of your mouth, washing it down with water.

"Of course... the library." Jennifer mused, giving you a teasing glare.

"Hey, Mr. Wagner assigned a freaking essay right before break. I don't wanna hear moaning when I'm writing about some... stupid bullshit he always pulls out of his ass." You retorted, no more food in your mouth.

Jennifer raised her hands in defense, making a taken aback face that melted into a playful smile. "Okay chill, I was just making an observation. Also, how have you been keeping up with Seungcheol? You haven’t been bitching and moaning about him.”

“Hey! I’ve never bitched and moaned about Seungcheol.” You pointed your fork at Jennifer.

Erika glanced at you like you were crazy. “Excuse me??? That’s all you did for about maybe a month.”

You sighed in defeat, poking at your food absently. “...Okay maybe.”

“‘Okay maybe’ isn’t an answer, something has to be going on.” Jennifer nagged, and she was kind of right. Just kind of.

“Fine… whatever. It's like… I can’t stop thinking about him.” You mumbled out, eyes glued on your food.

They both groaned, like they saw this coming.

“Dude, what… What the hell?” Erika sighed, pinching her nose bridge.

“I freaking knew it!” Jennifer scoffed, smashing her fork against the table, the metal clanking awfully loud.

“Guys— just hear me out.” You started, but both of them look unimpressed, easily shutting you up.

“You’re coming to this party if you like it or not. You need to realize that Seungcheol is actually evil.” Jennifer reprimanded, she immediately yanked out her phone. “Sending you the details, right now.”

You were six years old the first time you saw Sylus Qin.

It had been a beautiful spring afternoon, the kind where the sun hung warm and golden in a cloudless sky and the palace gardens were in full bloom. You’d been playing alone among the peonies—your attendants watching from a respectful distance as always—when you’d heard voices approaching along the gravel path.

Men’s voices. Your father’s, you’d recognized immediately, and another you didn’t know.

Curious, you’d peered around the large ornamental rock you’d been using as a fortress in your imaginary game, and that’s when you’d seen him.

A boy. Older than you—maybe ten, you’d guessed, though you’d learned later he was actually ten—being led through the gardens by your father and the Master of Arms. He’d been dressed in the simple training clothes of a junior squire, his silver hair—even then, that striking silver—pulled back from his face, and his red eyes had been wide as he’d taken in the splendor of the imperial gardens.

Red eyes. You’d never seen eyes that color before.

He must have felt your stare because his gaze had suddenly shifted, landing directly on you where you’d been trying to hide behind your rock.

You’d frozen, caught.

For a moment, you’d just looked at each other—this strange silver-haired boy with crimson eyes and you, the princess who was supposed to be too dignified to spy on people.

Then you’d smiled and waved.

He’d blinked, clearly surprised, and glanced at the adults with him as if asking permission. But they’d been deep in conversation about training schedules or weapons or something equally boring, not paying attention to either of you.

So you’d waved again, more insistently this time, and gestured for him to come over.

He’d hesitated for only a second before slipping away from the group, moving with a quietness that had impressed you even then, and approaching your rock fortress.

“Hi,” you’d whispered, grinning up at him. “I’m—”

“The princess,” he said, and his voice had been soft, a little awed. “I know. Everyone knows.”

“What’s your name?”

“Sylus. Sylus Qin.” He’d bowed, stiff and formal in the way someone had clearly taught him to bow to royalty. “It’s an honor to meet you, Your Highness.”

You’d wrinkled your nose. “That’s too many words. Just call me by my name. And you don’t have to bow like that. It looks uncomfortable.”

His lips had twitched, almost smiling. “I’m supposed to bow to royalty.”

“But we’re going to be friends,” you announced with the absolute confidence of a six-year-old who’d decided she liked someone. “Friends don’t bow to each other. That’s silly.”

“Friends?” He’d sounded uncertain, like he wasn’t sure if princesses were allowed to have friends who were trainee squires.

“Yes! Do you want to play tag?” You hadn’t waited for an answer, just reached out and tagged his arm. “You’re it!”

And then you’d taken off running through the gardens, laughing, and after a moment of shocked hesitation, you’d heard him laugh too and give chase.

That was how it had started. How you’d met the boy who would become the most important person in your world.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

The years that followed had been filled with stolen moments.

Sylus had been training to become a palace guard, working under the Master of Arms with single-minded determination that had impressed everyone. But whenever he’d had free time—and sometimes even when he shouldn’t have—he’d found his way to wherever you were.

He’d played with you in the gardens, climbed trees to retrieve kites you’d gotten stuck, helped you catch fireflies in the summer evenings. He’d sat with you during tedious lessons when your tutors had allowed it, and he’d carried you on his shoulders when you’d gotten tired during walks through the palace grounds.

Your attendants had been scandalized at first—a princess shouldn’t be so familiar with a mere trainee—but your father had allowed it. Had even encouraged it, you’d learned later. He’d seen the way Sylus watched over you even then, the way he’d positioned himself between you and anything that might hurt you, and he’d known.

This boy would protect his daughter with his life.

As you’d grown older, the games had changed but the connection had remained. You’d watch him train sometimes, hiding behind pillars or in doorways, mesmerized by the way he moved—the grace and power, the absolute focus. He’d always known you were there. Would sometimes show off a little, executing a particularly impressive combination or disarming his sparring partner with a flourish that made your heart flutter in your chest.

He’d been fourteen when you’d first realized you were in love with him.

You’d been ten, and you’d been crying in your chambers after one of the court ladies had pulled too hard while dressing your hair for some ceremony. It had hurt, and worse, the woman had scolded you for fidgeting, had called you difficult and ungrateful in a tone that had made you feel small and ashamed.

Sylus had found you in the gardens afterward, still sniffling, your elaborate hairstyle already falling apart.

“Hey,” he’d said softly, sitting beside you on the stone bench. “What’s wrong, Princess?”

You’d told him, the words tumbling out between tears, and he’d listened with such patience, such genuine concern, that it had made you cry harder.

“Come here,” he’d said finally, and he’d turned you around so your back was to him. “Let me fix it.”

“You don’t know how to—”

“My mother taught me,” he’d said quietly. “Before she… she worked in a kitchen, but she also helped the estate healer sometimes. She said a man should know gentleness, not just strength. That included learning how to braid hair.”

His fingers had been so careful as they’d worked through your tangles, so gentle that it hadn’t hurt at all. And as he’d braided and arranged your hair with surprising skill, he’d talked to you—told you stories about his mother, about his training, about anything and everything to distract you from your tears.

By the time he’d finished, you’d stopped crying. And when you’d turned to look at him, had seen the soft concern in his red eyes, the small smile on his lips as he’d admired his handiwork, something in your chest had shifted.

Oh, you’d thought. Oh no.

Because you’d realized in that moment that you loved him. Not the way you loved your parents or your friends, but something bigger, something that made your heart race and your cheeks flush and your stomach do strange fluttery things.

You’d been ten years old, and you’d fallen completely, irrevocably in love with a fourteen-year-old trainee who’d learned to braid hair from his mother and who’d never once made you feel like you were too much or too difficult or too anything.

What you hadn’t known—what you wouldn’t learn for years—was that Sylus had fallen in that moment too.

He’d been holding back tears of his own as he’d braided your hair, thinking of his mother who’d died just a year before, whose gentle teachings he’d been trying desperately to honor. And when you’d turned to look at him with those trusting eyes, still damp with tears but smiling now, something in his carefully controlled heart had cracked wide open.

He’d been too young to understand it fully, but he’d known: this girl, this princess he’d been assigned to protect, had become the center of his entire world.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

The years had continued to pass, and the feelings had only grown stronger.

You’d been twelve when you’d first seen him truly fight.

Bandits had attacked the royal caravan during a trip to a neighboring province. You’d been terrified, frozen in the carriage as you’d heard shouts and the clash of steel. Then the door had been ripped open and a man with a scarred face and wild eyes had reached for you—

And Sylus had appeared like something out of legend.

He’d been sixteen, still technically in training but already more skilled than many full knights. He’d pulled the bandit away from you with one hand and put his sword through the man’s chest with the other, and the cold efficiency of it had stolen your breath.

Then he’d turned to you, and his expression had completely changed—from that deadly warrior to the gentle boy you knew, concern flooding his red eyes.

“Are you hurt?” he’d asked, checking you over with shaking hands. “Did he touch you? Are you—”

“I’m fine,” you’d managed, though you’d been trembling. “You saved me.”

“Always,” he’d said, and the intensity in his voice had made something warm bloom in your chest. “I’ll always save you.”

After that day, he’d been officially assigned to your personal guard rotation despite his young age. Your father had seen what you’d already known: there was no one better suited to protect you.

But the new official capacity had changed things between you. Where before you’d had freedom to just be friends, now there were expectations, protocols. He’d started calling you “Princess” more often than your name, had stopped seeking you out during his free time, had maintained a careful distance that had made your heart ache.

You’d been thirteen the first time you’d truly understood what it meant to miss someone who was standing right beside you.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

You’d been fifteen when you’d first felt the magnetic pull.

It had been late evening, and you’d been studying in the palace library—or pretending to study, at least. Sylus had been stationed outside as your guard, but you’d insisted he come inside because it had been winter and the hallways were freezing.

He’d sat near the fireplace, supposedly watching the door but actually reading one of the military strategy texts you’d seen him glance at longingly. You’d been pretending to focus on your own book but really watching him—the way the firelight had painted gold across his silver hair, the way his brow had furrowed in concentration, the way his lips had moved slightly as he’d read.

Beautiful, you’d thought. He’s so beautiful.

At some point, you’d both looked up at the same time, and your eyes had met across the room.

The air had felt charged, electric. Neither of you had moved, but you’d felt pulled toward him like a string was tied between your hearts. You’d seen his throat work as he’d swallowed, seen the way his eyes had darkened, and you’d known—somehow you’d known—that if you stood up and crossed to him, if you’d closed the distance between you, something would have happened.

Something irreversible.

But you’d been fifteen and he’d been nineteen and he was your guard and you were a princess, and there were so many reasons why you couldn’t.

So you’d looked away first, breaking the moment, and you’d heard his quiet exhale like he’d been holding his breath.

It had become a pattern after that. These moments where you’d get too close, where the air would shimmer with possibility, where you’d almost—almost—let yourselves cross that invisible line.

But you never did.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

You’d been seventeen when you’d realized he was pulling away.

The cuddling that had been so natural when you were children—him letting you fall asleep against his shoulder during long carriage rides, carrying you when you’d gotten sick, letting you seek comfort in his presence—had gradually stopped.

You’d try to lean against him and he’d shift away. You’d reach for his hand and he’d find a reason to move. You’d ask him to stay and talk with you like he used to, and he’d make excuses about duty and propriety.

It had hurt. Gods, it had hurt so much, and you hadn’t understood why.

You’d thought maybe he’d finally seen you clearly—seen that you were in love with him—and had been trying to distance himself because he didn’t feel the same. Or worse, because he’d felt sorry for you.

The truth, which you hadn’t known, was that Sylus’s feelings had grown beyond what he could safely control. Every casual touch had become torture. Every time you’d smiled at him, every time you’d said his name, every time you’d looked at him with those trusting eyes, it had been harder and harder to maintain his composure.

He’d been twenty-two and desperately in love with a eighteen-year-old princess he was sworn to protect, and the wanting had been consuming him. The desire to touch you, to hold you, to tell you everything he felt—it had been overwhelming. And worse, the thoughts had become less innocent. The way his body had responded to your proximity, the dreams he’d had that had left him aching and ashamed—he’d hated himself for it.

So he’d pulled away. Had tried to put distance between you and his inappropriate feelings. Had tried to be nothing more than your guard, nothing more than what was proper and right.

It had been killing him, but he’d thought it was necessary.

What he hadn’t realized was that his distance had been killing you too.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

You’d been nineteen when you’d almost kissed him.

It had been your birthday celebration—a small, private thing, not the grand ball the court would throw later in the week. Just you and a handful of people you actually cared about. Sylus had been there in his capacity as your guard, standing near the wall with his usual vigilant posture.

But you’d been drinking wine—more than you probably should have—and the alcohol had made you bold.

You’d crossed to him, aware of people watching but not caring, and you’d grabbed his hand.

“Dance with me,” you’d said.

“Princess, I don’t think—”

“It’s my birthday,” you’d insisted. “And I want to dance with you. Please?”

He’d hesitated, clearly torn, but you’d pulled on his hand and he’d finally, finally given in.

You’d danced—a proper, formal dance, his hand at your waist and yours on his shoulder, the appropriate distance maintained between you. But it had felt anything but appropriate. Every place his body had touched yours had burned. His red eyes had been locked on your face, intense and wanting, and you’d felt dizzy with something that had nothing to do with the wine.

The music had slowed, or maybe you’d both just stopped paying attention to it. You’d been swaying together, closer than you should have been, his hand sliding lower on your back, your fingers threading into the hair at his nape.

“Princess,” he’d whispered, and his voice had been rough, strained. “We shouldn’t—”

“I don’t care,” you’d whispered back. You’d been looking at his lips, watching them form words, wanting to feel them against yours with an intensity that had stolen your breath.

You’d started to lean in. He’d started to lean in too, his eyes already closing, his head tilting—

“Your Highness!” One of your attendants had called, breaking the moment. “The cake is ready!”

You’d both jerked apart like you’d been burned. Sylus had stepped back immediately, his expression shuttering, and you’d wanted to scream with frustration.

So close. You’d been so close.

But the moment had passed, and Sylus had bowed and excused himself, and you’d been left standing there with your heart hammering and the taste of almost on your lips.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

You’d been twenty when you’d overheard the conversation that had shattered something in you.

Two of the palace guards had been talking in the hallway outside your chambers, not realizing you were right inside the slightly-ajar door.

“Qin’s got it rough,” one had said. “Being assigned to the Princess full-time. Must be exhausting, never having a moment to himself.”

“At least the pay is good,” the other had replied. “And it’s prestigious, being the Princess’s personal guard. Opens doors for advancement.”

“True. Though between you and me, I don’t think he had much choice. The King specifically requested him for the position. Not like he could refuse even if he wanted to.”

“Think he ever gets tired of it? Following her around constantly?”

“Probably. But he’s too professional to show it. That’s why he’s the best.”

You’d stood there, frozen, as their voices had faded down the hallway.

Duty. That’s all you were to him. A prestigious assignment he couldn’t refuse. A job that paid well and looked good for his career.

All those moments between you—the dancing, the almost-kisses, the way he’d held you—it had all been in your head. He’d been professional. Doing his duty. Nothing more.

The realization had crushed you.

You’d cried yourself to sleep that night, mourning something you’d never actually had.

What you hadn’t known was that Sylus had heard that same conversation from the other end of the hallway. Had heard those guards reduce his deepest feelings to mere professional obligation, and had been grateful.

Because if everyone thought he was just doing his duty, if no one suspected the truth of how desperately in love with you he was, then maybe he could keep serving as your guard. Could keep being near you, even if he could never have you.

It had been better this way, he’d told himself. Better that you thought his care was merely professional.

Even if the lie had hurt worse than any blade.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

You’d been twenty-three when you’d started receiving serious marriage proposals.

Noble sons, foreign dignitaries, wealthy merchants seeking to elevate their status—they’d come in a steady stream, and you’d rejected every single one. Your father had been patient at first, understanding your reluctance to marry young, but as you’d approached your mid-twenties, the pressure had increased.

You’d had to sit through countless meetings with potential suitors, had to smile and make polite conversation with men who’d looked at you like a prize to be won. And through it all, Sylus had been there, standing behind your chair or near the door, his face carefully neutral.

You’d watched him sometimes during those meetings, trying to gauge his reaction. Did it bother him to see other men courting you? Did he care at all?

His expression had never changed. Professional. Detached. Doing his duty.

It had hurt worse than any outright rejection.

What you hadn’t seen was the way his hands had clenched behind his back, nails digging into his palms hard enough to leave marks. The way his jaw had ached from keeping his expression neutral when everything in him had wanted to remove these men from your presence by force.

The way he’d gone back to his quarters after each of these meetings and destroyed training dummies, imagining them as every suitor who’d dared to think they were worthy of you.

You’d never seen the way he’d broken down the night he’d heard rumors that your father was losing patience, that he might arrange a marriage without your consent if you continued to refuse everyone.

The night he’d realized he might actually lose you. That you might belong to someone else, and he’d have to stand by and watch it happen because he was nothing. No one. Just a guard with no title and no prospects and no right to love someone so far above him.

You’d been twenty-six when Zou Cheng had proposed.

And that’s when everything had changed.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

The walk back to your chambers had been suffocatingly silent.

Sylus had fallen into step behind you the moment you’d dismissed yourself from the receiving hall, his presence a steady shadow at your back. You’d kept your chin high, your expression carefully neutral as you’d passed through the corridors of the palace, aware of the eyes that followed you—servants, courtiers, guards. Word of your rejection of Zou Cheng’s proposal would already be spreading through the palace like wildfire, and you refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing you rattled.

But the moment your chamber doors closed behind you and Sylus, the carefully constructed composure shattered.

Your hands were shaking as you turned to face the room, breath coming shorter, faster. The tears you’d been holding back since Zou Cheng had smiled at you with that entitled, predatory expression were burning at the backs of your eyes.

Your attendants looked up from where they’d been preparing your afternoon tea, concern immediate on their faces.

“Please,” you managed, your voice strained but still kind, still soft. “I need some time alone. Thank you.”

They bowed quickly, sensing your distress, and filed out with worried glances over their shoulders. The door clicked shut behind them, leaving only you and Sylus in the spacious chamber.

He stood near the entrance, his tall frame relaxed but alert in the way it always was—like he could spring into action at a moment’s notice. Today he wore robes of deep red silk with gold embroidery along the collar and cuffs, the formal attire of the imperial guard when not in full armour. The crimson fabric brought out the color of his eyes, made his long silver hair seem to glow in the filtered sunlight. His sword hung at his side, the leather of the scabbard worn smooth from years of use. His expression was carefully neutral, but those red eyes watched you with an intensity that made your chest ache.

The moment you knew you were truly alone with him, the dam broke.

“It was completely awful, Sy. A disastrous show. A freaking outrage. Did you see the way that Zou Cheng was looking at me? The way he could barely compose himself as I declined his proposal? I should’ve slapped him when he tried to come on to me. He’s a fucking disgrace,” you grumbled, pacing around your luxurious and elegant bedroom.

The chamber was a reflection of imperial refinement—walls adorned with hand-painted silk panels depicting cherry blossoms in full bloom, their delicate pink petals seeming to drift across the fabric. Latticed windows of dark wood filtered the afternoon sunlight into soft, golden beams that pooled across polished floors. Carved wooden screens separated different areas of the spacious room, and your canopy bed was draped in layers of flowing silk in shades of cream and rose. The palace itself was a sprawling masterpiece of red lacquered pillars, sweeping golden-tiled roofs that curved toward the heavens, and tranquil courtyards where ancient trees stood guard over stone pathways and lotus ponds.

You’d smiled at your bodyguard—your knight—Sylus Qin that morning as he’d escorted you down to meet Zou Cheng, nervous energy making your hands tremble slightly as you’d adjusted your hair. You’d asked him softly if you looked beautiful, needing that reassurance before facing another suitor you had no interest in. He’d glanced at you with those striking crimson eyes, something flickering in their depths before he’d smiled to himself and responded with a quiet, “Yes, Princess.” You could have sworn his pale cheeks had flushed slightly, that he’d looked away as if composing himself, though maybe that was just wishful thinking—your heart projecting feelings onto him that he’d never expressed.

Now, as you paced, your pink hanfu swished around your legs, the delicate peonies embroidered into the fabric catching the light. A few strands of hair had come loose from your carefully arranged style, the jade pins your attendants had spent an hour placing now slightly askew from your agitated movements.

“Princess,” Sylus said quietly, his deep voice cutting through your spiraling anger like a knife through silk. He hadn’t moved from his position near the door, but something in his tone made you pause mid-step, turning to look at him.

His jaw was tight, you noticed. The muscle there flexing almost imperceptibly as he watched you pace. His hand had drifted to rest on the pommel of his sword—not threateningly, but like he needed something solid to anchor himself to.

“You had every right to refuse him,” he continued, his voice carefully measured, professional. “Zou Cheng is…” He paused, and you saw the way his fingers tightened fractionally on the sword hilt. “He’s not worthy of you. His behavior was inappropriate and disrespectful.”

You laughed, but it came out bitter and sharp. “Inappropriate? Sy, he practically cornered me when you stepped back to give us ‘privacy.’ He put his hand on my waist and told me I should reconsider, that a woman of my ‘particular situation’ couldn’t afford to be so selective.” Your voice cracked slightly on the last words, the tears threatening again. “Like I’m some kind of burden to be offloaded. Like I should be grateful for his attention.”

Something dangerous flashed across Sylus’s face—there and gone so quickly you almost missed it. His eyes darkened, the red seeming to burn brighter for just a moment. His other hand flexed at his side, and you watched his throat work as he swallowed whatever his immediate reaction had been.

“He touched you?” The words came out quieter than before, but there was an edge to them that made your breath catch. Not anger at you—never at you—but something cold and lethal simmering beneath his controlled exterior.

“Just my waist,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself. “But the way he looked at me, Sy. Like… like he was already imagining…” You couldn’t finish the sentence, shuddering.

Sylus was silent for a long moment, and when you looked at him again, his expression had smoothed into that professional mask he wore so well. But his eyes—gods, his eyes were still burning with something that made your heart race.

“If he ever touches you again,” he said, voice low and absolutely certain, “he’ll lose the hand. I don’t care what his rank is.”

The fierce protectiveness in his tone sent warmth flooding through your chest, chasing away some of the coldness Zou Cheng’s attentions had left behind. This was why you loved him, you thought helplessly. This steadfast devotion, the way he made you feel safe and valued and—

You shook your head, trying to dispel the thought. He was your knight. Your protector. These feelings he showed you were duty, nothing more. No matter how much you wished otherwise.

“Come here, sweetie,” Sylus said softly, and the endearment made your chest ache. He moved away from the door finally, crossing to you with that fluid grace that came from years of training. When he reached you, he lifted one hand slowly, giving you time to pull away if you wanted, before gently tucking one of the loose strands of hair behind your ear. “You’re trembling.”

His touch was so careful, so tender, that the tears finally spilled over.

“I’m just so tired of this,” you whispered, looking up at him. At this distance, you could see the way his silver hair caught the light, the sharp lines of his face softened by concern. “Every week it’s another proposal from another man who sees me as a political opportunity or a prize to be won. None of them actually want me. They want what I represent.”

“Then they’re all fools,” Sylus murmured, his hand still hovering near your face, like he wanted to touch you again but didn’t trust himself to. “You are… so much more than what you represent, Princess.”

The way he said it, the quiet intensity in his voice, made you wonder—just for a moment—if maybe you weren’t imagining everything after all.

You wiped at your tears quickly, embarrassed by the show of emotion even though it was just Sylus. He’d seen you cry before—too many times over the years—but it still made you feel vulnerable in a way that was both comforting and terrifying.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice still thick. “I shouldn’t be falling apart like this. Especially not today—the Lantern Festival is tonight and I need to…” You gestured vaguely at yourself, at your tear-stained face and disheveled hair. “I can’t go looking like I’ve been crying over that bastard.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Sylus said firmly, finally dropping his hand back to his side, though he seemed reluctant to do so. “And for what it’s worth, you could never look anything less than beautiful.”

Your breath caught at the words, at the way he said them—so matter-of-fact, like he was stating an undeniable truth rather than offering a compliment. Heat crept up your neck and into your cheeks.

“I… thank you,” you managed, your heart doing complicated things in your chest. You cleared your throat, trying to regain some composure. “I should change. The pink is pretty, but it’s too associated with this morning’s disaster. I can’t wear it to the festival.”

You moved toward the carved wooden screen in the corner of your chamber where your attendants had already laid out your festival attire—a stunning hanfu in deep crimson and gold, far more elaborate than what you currently wore. The color of celebration and good fortune.

“It’ll just be a moment,” you called over your shoulder as you disappeared behind the screen, already reaching for the pins in your hair.

You heard rather than saw Sylus move to stand near the window, giving you privacy while still remaining in the room. It was familiar, this dance you’d done countless times over the years. Him always nearby, always vigilant, but never crossing certain invisible lines.

Your fingers fumbled slightly with the fastenings of your pink hanfu as you thought about those lines. About how desperately you wanted him to cross them, to acknowledge that there was something between you beyond duty and childhood friendship. But he never did. He was too honorable, too bound by his position as your protector.

And you were too afraid of losing even this—his presence, his steadiness, his gentle words—to ever push for more.

The crimson hanfu slipped over your shoulders like water, the silk cool against your skin. The embroidery was exquisite—golden phoenixes and lotus flowers swirling across the fabric in intricate patterns. The sleeves were long and flowing, edged with gold trim, and the outer robe was secured with an ornate sash that took you a moment to tie properly.

You stepped out from behind the screen, smoothing your hands over the fabric. “Could you…?” You gestured to your hair, which you’d taken down completely, letting it fall loose around your shoulders. “I have the lotus clip for the festival, but I can’t quite get it positioned right on my own.”

Sylus turned from the window, and you watched his eyes widen fractionally as he took in your appearance. That look again—the one that made your heart race, that made you think maybe, possibly, he felt something too.

“Of course, kitten,” he said softly, crossing to you. The endearment, different from the others, always made you melt a little. He only used it in private moments like these, and you hoarded each instance like precious treasure.

You sat at your vanity and handed him the white lotus hair clip—a beautiful piece carved from jade, with delicate petals that seemed almost translucent in the light. Your hands brushed as he took it from you, and you could have sworn you felt him tremble.

His fingers were impossibly gentle as they gathered your hair, his touch sending shivers down your spine that you desperately hoped he couldn’t see. He worked in focused silence, arranging your hair with surprising skill for a warrior.

“Where did you learn to do this?” you asked quietly, watching him in the mirror.

A small, fond smile tugged at his lips—the kind of smile that only appeared when he let his guard down around you. “I’ve been doing this since we were little, remember?” His voice was soft, almost nostalgic. “You used to sit still for maybe thirty seconds before getting distracted by a butterfly or a bird, and I’d have to start all over again.”

Your chest warmed at the memory, at the reminder of all those years you’d spent together. Back when things had been simpler, before duty and propriety had built walls between you.

“I was a terrible student,” you admitted, smiling at his reflection.

“You were seven,” he said, amusement coloring his tone. “And even then, you never sat still unless it was something you truly cared about.” His fingers worked through a particularly stubborn tangle with infinite patience. “I learned to be quick about it.”

“There,” he murmured, stepping back slightly. The lotus clip was positioned perfectly, securing part of your hair while letting the rest cascade down your back. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and for a moment—just a moment—you saw something raw and unguarded there.

Want. Longing.

Then he blinked and it was gone, replaced by that professional warmth.

“Beautiful,” he said quietly. “You’ll be the most radiant person at the festival.”

You stood, turning to face him directly rather than through the mirror. “Will you stay close tonight?” you asked, hating how vulnerable you sounded. “After this morning with Zou Cheng, I just… I’d feel better knowing you were nearby.”

“Always, Princess,” Sylus promised, and the intensity in his voice made you believe him. “I’ll be right beside you the entire time. Nothing will happen to you. I swear it.”

If only you’d known then how impossible that promise would be to keep.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔ ☾*:･

read the rest on ao3 <3

“Linkon City Apartments, how can we help you?”

When you hear the clipped, low-energy tone, you brace yourself. The person on the other end is your least favorite front desk employee, and you just know you're about to feel really stupid in a minute.

“Um, hi - I’m having an issue with my… eh - my electricity? Could I maybe speak to someone from maintenance?”

The slight, almost inaudible groan from the other end is unmistakable. 

“Name and apartment number?”

You rattle the information off, and there’s a pause, like a little moment of recognition. She definitely knows who you are and how many times you have called for trivial things. You’re beginning to think this is a bad idea.

“I won’t ask you what the issue is directly, as we’re very busy, but I’ll transfer you to the maintenance team.”

You feel a weight off your shoulders and do a little shimmy in the silent victory of not having to belabor the conversation between yourself and the ‘mean front desk lady.’ You hear the extension numbers, followed by a ringing sound confirming your connection. It only takes a moment for someone to answer you.

“Gideon, Maintenance Staff. Is this the call regarding apartment 314?”

“Yes, that’s me. I hate to bother you with something so small, but I seem to be having an issue with a lightbulb. I’ve gone to the hardware store multiple times, and I’ve looked at the sizes and wattages, so I know I have the correct ones, but it still isn’t lighting up, and it’s in kind of a big part of my kitchen.”

“A… lightbulb?” Gideon asks, clearly a little confused as to why you’re calling about something so small.

“Yeah, I know it’s kind of a strange thing to ask about, but I really wouldn’t be calling if I had anyone to help me figure it out. I live alone and don’t have family close, so I’m sort of learning all of this stuff for the first time.”

“Okay, yeah, it’s fine, that’s what we’re here for. I can’t promise we’ll get to it today, but I’ll submit a work ticket, and after the higher-priority items have been resolved, one of us will come help you out. It’s just the one lightbulb, right? You’ve still got electricity, and you can still go about your day with little to no issues?”

“Yeah,” You feel yourself cringing, worried that you sound like an incapable idiot. “Just the one.”

The sounds of a keyboard clacking fill the silence, along with the pleasant sound of hums from Gideon’s low, gravelly voice. It’s almost soothing and helps alleviate the anxiety you feel about being a nuisance.

“Great, ticket submitted. It’ll probably be Caleb or me, so just expect us to be there either a little later today or tomorrow. If you’re going to be out of the apartment, that’s fine. We have a key to get inside. If you’re hoarding any illegal pets or somethin’, though…”

You realize he’s joking with you, and you let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding, along with a small laugh.

“Right, well, I’m not just saying this, but it’s really just me in here. Thank you so much for your help, Gideon.”

“Of course, 314! Bye, now.”

The fact that Gideon doesn’t make you feel bad for calling about something as trivial as a lightbulb takes a huge weight off your chest, and you’re able to move on with your day without anxiety.

You don’t expect the maintenance staff to be there right away, especially since Gideon mentioned some higher-priority tickets, so you keep your teddy-bear-patterned pajamas on and decide to use the rest of your day off for something fun as a little treat to yourself. After all, you did take the steps to solve a problem - you deserve it!

Halfway through a crime documentary you’ve been itching to watch, your doorbell rings. You’re confused at first, wondering who would be visiting you, but when you look out of the peephole and see one of the most handsome men you’ve ever laid eyes on in a dark blue jumpsuit carrying a rather large toolbox, you blanch.

After a horrified glance at your state of dress and realizing you don’t have time to change, you curse yourself, deciding this is your karma for not being able to change a lightbulb yourself. This is your divine retribution. You take a deep breath and open the door to be hit immediately with Cupid’s arrows as you take in the unobstructed sight of the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

He’s tall and leanly muscled, his jumpsuit tight enough to display a physique you’ve never seen on someone in real life. His arms bulge, straining the sleeves slightly, and the fabric tapers at his trim waist. He’s got the most beautiful, warm eyes; violet flecked with warm amber like flower petals on fire. When he speaks, you feel every thought in your brain disappear as if disintegrating, words reduced to dust in the countenance of what you can only assume an angel looks like.

“Hey, got a lightbulb that needs fixin’?” He asks warmly, and you know immediately by the sound of his voice that this isn’t the Gideon guy you spoke to on the phone.

It takes you a few moments to speak, and you begin to panic a bit when he tilts his head in confusion, like he might have accidentally gotten the wrong apartment when you don’t answer.

“Y-yes,” You stammer, rushing the words. “I - that’s me. It’s - um… not turning on.”

“Alright, mind if I come in to take a look?” He asks. “Name’s Caleb, by the way.”

“Of course, yes, so sorry,” You trip over your words, stepping to the side so he can come in.

The height difference between the two of you becomes way more apparent as he steps inside, towering over you as he surveys your place.

“The ticket said it was the kitchen lightbulb, right?” He asks as he walks toward the kitchen, clearly knowing the layout of every apartment like the back of his hand.

“Yeah,” You follow him like a puppy, fighting the urge to explain yourself. “It’s been out for about a week. I’ve tried everything from different kinds of lightbulbs to different wattages. I know it’s the correct size, though, here …”

You trail off as you move to the cabinet where you store all of your extra lightbulbs, which is currently overflowing with the bulbs you’re starting to think you’ve wasted money on.

“Here,” you gesture to the cabinet with a sheepish smile. “I went overboard. I was explaining this to your coworker on the phone, but I’m really clueless when it comes to this kind of thing, so I understand what a ridiculous ticket request this is. Once I learn what the issue is, I promise you’ll never have to deal with me again.”

“We don’t mind,” Caleb laughs, the sound comforting and warm like a cup of rich coffee. “That’s what we’re here for. Besides, we have the ticket system, so we know what takes precedence. It’s not a big deal - ‘s all I’m saying.”

Caleb squats to look, and his eyes widen when he sees the sheer number of lightbulbs you have.

“Wow, yeah, I mean, if anything, your overstock tells me that you definitely tried to resolve the issue on your own. I don’t think buying multiples of the same kind was necessary, but I guess it never hurts to have a supply. Do you know where the lightbulb that went out initially is?”

“Oh, yeah,” you confirm, open the drawer right above the cabinet, and present it to him.

You try not to focus on how small it looks in his hand compared to yours.

“Okay, let’s try this one again and see what we’re working with.”

It’s hard not to stare. You try your best to be respectful, but you can’t help yourself. Every bit of him is beautiful, from the soft-looking warm brown hair to the prominent veins in his muscular arms. He’s so tall that he doesn’t even have to reach to unscrew the new lightbulb you’ve personally installed to replace it with the old, like it’s nothing for him.

“Alright, can you please do me a favor?”

“Anything,” you say, and you’re embarrassed to find that you truly mean anything.

“The switch is off, right? Turn it on for me?”

For me.

You do as asked, and like before, nothing happens. 

“Right, okay. Turn it back off, and I’ll get this one unscrewed,” he instructs.

Again, you do as asked, and Caleb removes the busted bulb. He takes the new one he took out to test the old and screws it back in. 

“I’m sorry, but don’t you want me to get another one for you, seeing as that one didn’t work?”

Caleb grins at you, and you feel your heart rate increase.

“No, I think we should try this one more time,” he says with a hint of delight that makes you feel like you’re missing something.

He screws the bulb in and nods to you. You flip the switch, and by some miracle, the kitchen is flooded with light. You stand there, finger still on the switch, blinking rapidly. 

“Wait, but -”

“So, you did the right thing by turning the switch off when you were screwing in the new one,” Caleb explains, walking towards you with an amused look on his face. “The problem is,”

He stands directly beside you, so closely you can smell his cologne, and flips the switch off, then on.

“You’ve gotta turn the switch back on after you put the bulb in.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Huh,” you say, dumbfounded. “I - I guess that would …  be … smart…”

Caleb laughs, and the sound makes you want to smash the old lightbulb over your head - partially because you know you amuse him and it makes you happy, but partially because you’ve made yourself sound like a dumbass in front of him.

“D-Do you have to write a report or anything for the tickets you fix?”

“Huh? Not really anything too detailed. It’s just a brief description of the issue and how I resolved it," Caleb explains, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Why?”

“Could you please not include the part about me being a train wreck? Maybe make something up and say it was the circuit breaker or something?”

Caleb leans against your wall, laughs again, and you feel a little dead inside.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be vague. But really, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything, you should be proud of the fact that you didn’t electrocute yourself by turning the switch off. Trust me, I’ve seen that happen plenty of times.”

“Okay, well, that does make me feel slightly better, but I feel like you’re being a little too nice to me.” You sigh, crossing your arms over your chest and still trying to process the fact that you forgot to turn the light back on.

“It should. We’d really rather you call us for things you’re not sure about. This is our job, okay? You don’t have to feel bad for needing help, ‘cause it’s what I get paid to do.”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “You guys would probably be the only staff at this place that don’t make me feel like an idiot, so thanks.”

“The front desk people are assholes,” he says bluntly. “They sit around and act like they fix things when all they do is take forever to relay stuff to the rest of us. Believe me, they talk to everyone like they’re dumb, including us. It’s like an unspoken rule for them to be like that, so don’t take it to heart.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize you guys got the bad end of it, too.”

“Daily,” Caleb pushes himself off the wall to stand straight again, towering over you yet again, and laughs derisively. “We get our fair share of condescension. Oh, I do have one piece of advice for you, though.”

“Oh,” you brace yourself. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing major,” Caleb assures, eyes twinkling. “Just - I know we have your name and your apartment number and all that good stuff, but when you’re on the phone with people you don’t know, try not to mention the fact that you live alone and that you don’t have family close by.”

“H-Huh?”

“Yeah, I know it may not seem like a big deal, but the less information you give, the better. Like I said, we already have your information and all of that, but especially if you’re new to the area and you don’t have people close by. Just be careful, alright?”

“Yeah,”  You feel a little silly. “No, you’re right. Um, thank you for everything you’ve done today. I’m sorry, I basically wasted your time.”

Caleb shakes his head, squirts some of your dish soap in his hands, and washes them in the sink. 

“Really, no worries. We didn’t have a lot to get through, and as I said, we always do high priority first, so it’s not like I was swimming with work today. That’s how I was able to get over here pretty quickly. Seriously, I get paid for this. Call as much as you want, okay?”

You try not to abuse the offer, you really do, but as your shitty luck would have it, your refrigerator goes out a short two days after your first meeting with Caleb. Calling the front desk is, as always, a miserable experience, and you’re greeted by the same woman who’s done nothing but make you feel about as big as an ant every time you speak with her.

“Josephine speaking, how may I help you?”

“Uh, hi - it’s apartment number 314 again -”

You’re cut off by a very obvious, very annoyed sigh.

“Was this regarding your previous maintenance request? If that’s the case, you’ll need to -”

“No,” you interrupt, regretting it immediately, but push on. “It’s actually something else. My refrigerator isn’t running, and I’ve done everything I can, but it’s been several hours and -”

“I’m transferring you to maintenance; hold, please.”

Well. 

Better to speak to them than her.  

It’s not long until you’re met with the voice that your thoughts have been consumed by for the last two days.

“Caleb speaking, is this apartment 314?” Caleb seems amused, and you try to tell yourself that the excitement in his voice is likely normal for your self-preservation. “Don’t tell me you blew up another lightbulb.”

“Okay, first off, I didn’t blow up the last one; it stopped working.” You counter, feeling a little indignant.

“Yeah, yeah,” Caleb teases. “What’s going on, though?”

“Well, Josephine is a massive grouch.”

“The sky is blue, water is wet. What’s the actual problem?”

“The refrigerator seems to think that keeping my perishables cold is optional. Hasn’t been running since I don’t know when, because I woke up and the light was off and everything was … warm and moist.”

“Wow, that’s pretty gross.”

“You’re telling me. So, how high priority would this ticket be, just out of curiosity?”

“That depends. Is anything in the fridge cold at all?” Caleb asks. “If you’ve kept the door shut, it should have preserved a bit of that chill to keep your food okay for at least another hour or two.”

“Oh. Well, what would be the case if I’ve actually had the door open for the last hour trying to look at what’s going on?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Caleb says quickly. “You’ll prooooobably have to throw out a good chunk of your stuff, but I’ll let you know when I get there.”

You hear someone in the background that sounds like Gideon saying something to Caleb, to which he responds,

“I know, I know. Can’t you take that one? I’ve got a situation in 314.”

Within half an hour, Caleb is at your door, mostly intact but out of breath; it’s like he ran to get to you. Like before, he throws you a devastating smile, then gets to work.

If the lightbulb issue isn’t humbling enough, watching Caleb simply plug your refrigerator cord back into the wall is enough to send you into psychosis. You stare blankly, speechless for probably the first time in your life.

“You gotta plug it in,” Caleb helplessly offers the advice with a small smile, clearly trying his hardest not to laugh.

Over the next month, you end up calling the maintenance team a handful of times. The frequency isn't enough to raise flags yet, and you’ve only contacted them once each week. Despite your best efforts not to call on ‘busy’ days (the fact that you’ve called enough to know which days are busy is something you’ll reckon with some other time), they never seem too busy to pick up the phone. If they have other requests, they simply let you know. Your issues range from small ones, like a slightly obnoxious dripping sink, to trivial things that don’t really need fixing, and you can probably handle on your own.

Caleb shows up for every single request.

The reservations you’ve had about watching Caleb while he works dwindle the more comfortable you get with him, and it seems like he’s more than happy to talk. He frequently fills in the silences when you're hesitant to speak, ensuring you feel at ease every time. After your initial trepidation about the lightbulb issue and Caleb's assurance that you could call anytime, it never crossed your mind that you might be inconveniencing him.

In fact, you get so comfortable that Caleb’s presence and willingness to help almost embolden you.

“Thank you so much, Caleb. I really appreciate it.” You say this gratefully, a coy smile playing on your lips as you watch him crouch to take a look at your toilet tank.

“No worries, I’m happy to do it,” he says. “Just out of curiosity, though - didn’t I just fix this for you a week ago?”

“Yeah, about that,” You bite your lip as he fixes his gaze on you, nervous you’ll give yourself away. “I just wanted you to check up on it if you had the time. I heard some strange sounds, and I wasn’t really sure what the reason for it was.”

“Oh, it just means it’s working properly! Are they more like a whooshing or a groaning?”

“Wooshing,” you say, tips of your ears burning, but Caleb simply smiles. 

“Yeah, that just means it’s working. Anything else you want me to take a look at?”

“Well, I don’t want to keep you from anything …”

“No worries, you’re my last ticket for the day,” Caleb assures you. “Maybe it’d be better if you just make me a list since your apartment seems to have the most issues. I don’t think I’ve ever had to visit another apartment as many times as I have yours. Guess you drew the short end of the stick with the luck here.”

Caleb’s tone is teasing, and you know he’s likely just negging you, but in all honesty, you do feel awful. You feel awful that you’re always asking for him, even though you know that the maintenance team has some say in which tickets they take. You feel awful that you know not only Caleb but also Gideon and the rest of the team by their first names. You feel awful that they all immediately hand the phone over to Caleb as soon as they hear your voice on the other end. Despite all of that guilt, you chase the euphoric joy of seeing his face and hearing his voice, so much so that you begin sabotaging things. 

“Hey, when’s the last time you looked at this smoke detector? Caleb asks, eyeing it wearily.

“Um, I’m not too sure. Why?" Does that need to be changed, too?"

You do know. You took the batteries out of it right before he came over, just in case he saw through your toilet tank ploy. 

“No reason,” Caleb assures you, almost like he’s trying to avoid hurting your feelings because he knows you simply don’t know any better.

“Just make sure it’s got batteries, okay? Has it been making any kind of noises lately?”

“Oh, now that you mention it, is that annoying, persistent beeping something that I need to be concerned about?” You wonder, biting your fingertip.

You watch as Caleb goes through the five stages of grief all at once, his expressions filtering from horrified to a reserved and calm kind of peace.

“Yeah, the beeping would be an indicator that it needs to be looked at. No worries, I’ll get you some fresh batteries for this bad boy after I finish with your washer and dryer. Now, what did you say was going on?”

“Not sure,” You peer over his shoulder as he fiddles with the dials. “Just… isn’t … uh -”

“Draining properly?” Caleb supplies helpfully.

“Yes! That! The barrel of it is full of water every time I try to  - oh, look at that.”

You’re interrupted by Caleb pressing a few buttons, and the water in your washer drains instantly.

“Wow, who could have imagined it was that easy?” You manage, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, you kind of have to turn it on … you know, so it cycles through,” Caleb says kindly.

This time, you have to pretend to be embarrassed, because you know.

You’re the one who turned it off mid-cycle.

Your calls to the maintenance team have become an almost daily occurrence. It’s not that you’re trying to make their lives more difficult, but the smooth and teasing cadence of Caleb’s voice is like a drug for you, and after all, he did say to call him ‘anytime.’ Seeing a couple of fruit flies orbiting your drain is a good enough reason to call this time, right?

You and Josephine have reached an understanding: you no longer have to explain yourself to her; the second she hears your voice, she transfers you. Usually, Caleb is the first person to pick up the phone, and it’s typically within a matter of moments, but occasionally, you get Gideon. 

“Apartment 314, we can’t keep meeting like this,” Gideon deadpans. “You’re taking one of my best and brightest from me, you know that?”

“Shit, I mean - damn,” you stumble over the words, trying to censor yourself in the face of discomfort, making it worse. “Shoot? I’m sorry. I can wait if -”

“Is that 314?” you hear Caleb call in the background. 

“Can you fuck off and go check 621’s garbage disposal like I asked you to do ten minutes ago?” Gideon barks, clearly irritated. “Sorry about that, 314. Continue.”

“Um… it sounds a little dumb when I say it out loud, but I’ve been getting these fruit flies, and -”

“Circling your drains? Kitchen and bathroom?” Gideon interrupts, a no-nonsense tone commanding his voice.

“Kitchen.”

“Pour boiling water down the drain and see where that gets you. If that doesn’t work, try using apple cider vinegar traps. You’ll be able to find them at any hardware store, but if you have dish soap and apple cider vinegar on hand, try mixing them with some warm water in a container you don’t mind losing and poking some holes in the top. That should resolve your issue. Was that all?”

“Yeah,” you say, deflating. “That was it. Thanks.

Gideon pauses for a moment before speaking, and the slight tinge of annoyance in his voice begins to fade. 

“You do know that you’re allowed to ask for his number, right?”

He was waiting for Caleb to leave.

“Wh-What?”

“Caleb. You can ask for his number. Legally, I’m not allowed to give it to you directly, but I promise he wants it. You know he’s been practically beating the shit out of the rest of the team to get to the phone. Chomping at the bit just hoping it’s you.”

“I don’t know what you -”

“Don’t play dumb,” Gideon sounds a little disappointed and annoyed, but not angry. “I’ve seen the reports. I believed you about the light bulb thing, ‘cause that’s an honest mistake, but taking the batteries out of a smoke detector is pretty fucking dangerous.”

“Sorry,” you say sheepishly, and Gideon laughs. “It won’t happen again.”

“Have a wonderful day, 314. I hope not to hear from you anytime soon.”

You deserve that. Gideon’s advice swims in your mind, and you wonder how you’ll even go about it. Calling the maintenance team again seems like overkill, and you know Caleb is helping another tenant, so you push the idea to the side, slightly embarrassed at how crazy it’s been making you act. Resigned, you turn your electric kettle on to boil the water and dump it down the drain. To your chagrin, the flies begin to dwindle. 

Hours after your call, you’re sitting in your favorite chair and half-watching some trashy reality dating show while you work on a puzzle. The sudden ring of your doorbell surprises you. You’re not expecting a package or anything. You wait a moment on the chance that it’s an unwelcome solicitor, but the ringing persists, so you drag yourself to your feet to answer the door.

“Caleb!”

Your favorite handyman stands there sporting a giant grin on his slightly soiled face and holds out his hands to present four or five little apple-shaped objects.

“Fruit flies?” He asks in lieu of a greeting. 

“Y-yeah, how did -”

“I heard you on the phone with Gideon,” he explains. “Mind if I come in? I’m not technically on the clock, but I wanted to help ya out.”

You feel a fluttering sensation in your stomach, and Gideon’s assurance that Caleb would want your number starts to feel less like pity.

“It’s okay,” you say quickly. “Gideon told me how to fix it on the phone. I’m really sorry to have even called about it. I’ve been monopolizing your time, and I know that. I just -”

“Nah, you’re not,” Caleb assures you. “You know, I did just say that I’m off from work.”

Caleb’s familiarity and comfort in your home make your chest ache as you follow him to your kitchen. He knows his way around, and every apartment likely has more or less the same layout, but it still makes you giddy.

“Gideon told you to pour the hot water down the drain?” Caleb asks as he tears the plastic off the little apple objects.

“Yeah, I did, and I’m noticing a bit of a difference, but what are those?”

Caleb brings one to his lips and tears the remaining plastic off with his teeth. The sight makes your knees weak. Caleb lifts his hand to spit the plastic into it, then tosses it into your garbage can. 

“Traps. You can usually make your own. Gideon prooooobably told you how to. I just had some of these handy, and they usually work better than homemade, anyway. You just pour the liquid it comes with in like this,” Caleb lifts the trap so you can see with one hand, then fishes for a little plastic vial to open with the other.

“It’s apple cider vinegar? Gideon told me to mix it with dish soap.”

“Yeah, the smell and the sugar attract the flies. See these little holes at the top? They’re shaped so the flies can get in, but they have a hard time getting out. The vinegar also has some sticky stuff in it, which is usually what the dish soap does when you make it yourself, and it traps them inside.”

Caleb fills the trap and puts it next to your kitchen sink, then fills another two and motions for you to follow him to the bathroom. He strategically places the first in your shower just out of the water’s reach, then puts the other right next to the bathroom sink, as he did in the kitchen.

“I know you said it was just your kitchen, but these little guys like to hang out around any drains. Just to cover all your bases, you know?”

You could listen to him talk about cement, and you’d still be captivated.

“Yeah, definitely.” You look up to see Caleb beaming at you. “Thanks, Caleb.”

“Anytime,” He murmurs. “I’m gonna take a look at your kitchen sink really quickly, too. I know it’s been leakin’ on ya.”

Oh, you know. You were careful to leave the handle positioned so the faucet was only just turned on. It does make you feel a little slimy, but seeing as it’s the last time you’ll be making an unnecessary maintenance call and Caleb is there of his own accord, you decide to exercise your Miranda rights. 

You trail after Caleb to the kitchen and lean against the counter as he fiddles with the faucet. He hums so gently to himself as he works that you almost ask what the buzzing noise is. It’s so maddeningly cute you want to scream.

“Seems like it’s workin’ okay,” Caleb confirms what you already know, then turns to face you. “Guess I did a pretty good job of fixing it up the last time.”

“Thanks, by the way.”

“Anytime…” Caleb trails off, though his gaze is unwavering. 

“Listen, I … might not have been completely honest with you,” you blabber, unable to take the weight of his stare with your incredibly guilty conscience. 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Ugh, try not to judge me. Too much, okay? I just… haven’t really been needing as much help as I’ve been letting on.”

Caleb’s head tilts to the side, and he reminds you of a confused puppy. It makes you feel even worse.

“I’ve been lying about having issues around my apartment,” you confess. “The lightbulb thing was real, and the refrigerator was unfortunately also true, but the sink and the toilet - all of that other stuff were just excuses.”

“Excuses for what?” Caleb asks, though the confusion is gone, and he’s grinning at you like he already knows what you’re going to say; he just wants to hear it. 

“Excuses to get you here. I think you’re really fun to be around, and I also happen to think you’re really, really attractive, and it’s fun watching you work. I’m sorry, okay? I told Gideon I wouldn’t waste your time anymore.”

“So thaaaaaaaaat’s it,” Caleb drawls as he walks over to stand in front of you and close the distance between the two of you. “I’m just eye candy to you, huh?”

He’s never been this close to you. He practically radiates heat, all-encompassing and inviting as he invades your space, and the soothing scent of apples and musk fans across your face.

“You’ve got…” You trail off, but lift your thumb to his cheek to wipe the questionable marks away. 

Caleb covers your hand with his own to hold it there, carefully prying it open so he can weave his fingers within yours.

“Thanks, just a little bit of residue.” He leans forward, and his hot breath fans across your face, sweet and almost spicy as if he’s been chewing cinnamon-flavored gum. “Do I have any anywhere else?”

“The other side,” you murmur.

Without breaking eye contact, Caleb takes your hand and brings it to the other side of his face to gently wipe, not really caring about the fact that all he’s doing is smearing the mark. 

“Anywhere …else?” 

“No,” you swallow thickly. “I think I got it for you.”

“Well, thanks for cleanin’ me up.” Caleb reaches down to bring your other hand to his face. “I think I’ve still got a little bit of work to do, though.”

“I don’t want to take up your time -”

“Off the clock,” Caleb drags your hands across his face, then to his throat. “This is a different, more important job.”

He lifts your arms so they dangle over his shoulders, then lightly trails his fingertips down to your waist when his hands are free. He stops at your hips, spreading his large hands over them and gripping tightly enough to indicate intention, yet still allowing you to move if you’re not interested.

“I hope I’m not reading this the wrong way,” Caleb starts slowly, his voice thick with a need he’s only letting show now that his job isn’t tethering him to decency. “I think… You might like me a little?”

You nod quickly to leave no room for misinterpretation and tug the back of his neck so he’s standing between your legs and pressed against you.

“A lot,” you correct. 

“Good, ‘cause I’ve been thinking about kissing you ever since you opened the door that first time,” Caleb groans, then lifts you by the hips to stand on the tops of his feet to make closing the distance between your lips easier.

His lips stifle your whine, so hot and eager to taste you that his kiss lacks any precision. Caleb presses you against the counter, his tongue prying your lips apart. His impatience is addicting, and even though you find it difficult to keep up, there’s something electric about him being so turned on, he can’t help but ravage you like this. 

“Up,” Caleb rasps when he finally pulls away for breath, gripping the back of your thighs to lift you onto the counter. 

He pushes himself further between your legs to press against you, his lips descending on yours once more when he is sure you are positioned safely to avoid falling. Caleb isn’t shy as he kisses you, all hunger and desperation as he chases the very same bliss you’ve been after since you first laid eyes on him. He nips your bottom lip and tugs, a shudder raking through his large body as he envelops you. You gasp for breath as he pulls away, so wet and messy that when you part, a thin strand of saliva connects your lips.

“I need to know this is okay.” Caleb pants as he releases the tight grip on your hips to soothingly stroke your thighs with his fingertips

“Fuck yes, this is okay,” you say firmly. “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of the situation, and -”

“Thank you,” Caleb groans and captures your lips to silence whatever unnecessary rambling you’re about to do, and he sighs into your mouth. 

Now that you know he’s just as stupid for you as you are for him, you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him as close as physically possible to roll your hips against his. Caleb gasps and goes slack-jawed, but you don’t mind the fact that he isn’t kissing you when you see that look of utter reverence and pleasure on his face. His eyebrows draw together, and soft puffs of hot air fan across your face as you grind into him.

“Oh, y-yeah?” He manages shakily. “It’s like that?”

“Mmm, it’s been like that,” you manage between breaths. “Thought it was time I did something about it.”

“Ohhh, no, no, no,” Caleb chides. “Nuh-uh, it took you long enough, and I had to make the move, so I’m the one that’s gonna be doing somethin’ about it. Have you done this before?”

“Fucked a maintenance man? No,” you lean forward to take his earlobe between your teeth before murmuring into his ear, “But there’s a first time for everything.”

“I’m not fucking you today,” Caleb hisses as you lick the shell of his ear. 

“What?” You protest.

“Wow, how bratty. Guess you’re used to getting what you want, huh?” Caleb goads.

“Thought you liked me,” you pout.

“I do, ‘s why we’re going on at least one date before we get there, although…”

Caleb pulls back, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. 

“Can I do something else?” 

“You can do anything you want to me,” you say without thinking, and Caleb laughs. 

“Do you have kitchen bleach?”

“I’ve got surface cleaner; is that any different from regular bleach?”

“That works,” Caleb shrugs, then sinks to his knees in front of you. “Do me a favor and thread your fingers through my hair so you’ve got a bit of a grip - I don’t mind if you pull.”

You blink.

“Oh, lift up for me, please?” He asks sweetly, and when you obey, he tugs your sweats and panties down until they reach your knees, then impatiently yanks them off. “Oh, fuck.”

“I - I haven’t showered today, and -”

Caleb inhales deeply and fucking shudders.

“Shit, I was gonna start slow, but I need to taste you now - will you let me? Please, can I use my mouth?”

Caleb looks up at you from between your thighs, his eyes filled with a wet, desperate kind of need that makes you clench around nothing.

“Y-yes, please.”

Your invitation is all Caleb needs to dive in. He flattens his tongue against you, no preamble or teasing, and flicks his tongue after he’s collected all of your arousal that he can. Caleb’s jaw works as he swallows and moans, the sound low and intense. He wastes no time between licks and attacks your cunt with drawn-out French kisses, all saliva and primal need that outweighs his normal polite disposition. 

Caleb is insatiable, and this is a side of him you never thought you’d see. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that you might be a freak for submitting those fake requests just to see him, but he’s matched and raised you. You wonder if you’re dealing with something beyond your scope of capabilities when you tug his hair hard enough to bring tears to his eyes, and he whimpers. Caleb pulls back, and you can’t tell where your fluids start and his saliva ends. He doesn’t bother to wipe his face when he looks up at you with a plea.

“Pull harder and fuck my face, okay?” 

His eyes are desperate and innocent, but his question makes you shiver. Caleb allows you no recovery time before he’s back at it, flattening his tongue against you to grind against. Your grip in his hair tightens, but you’re still terrified of hurting him. Sensing your hesitation, Caleb flicks his tongue up to your clit, then sucks it into his mouth as he finds your hands in his hair and makes you yank it. His groans are muffled but unmistakable, and the rumbling vibrates against you, wrenching a sharp, high-pitched cry from your throat. 

Satisfied that you’re pulling his hair hard enough, Caleb pulls his hand away from yours to sneak between your legs. Without prelude, he slips his index finger inside of you and grunts when he feels how tight you are. You’re so wet that a second finger glides inside of you with ease as Caleb swirls his tongue around your swollen clit.

“Yes, ‘s it,” Caleb slurs against you. “Take what y’need, sweetheart.”

It’s been a while since you’ve had any kind of stimulation, and Caleb is so intoxicating that he’s able to bring you so close to the edge your thighs are quaking around his head. Caleb is observant and senses how close you are without you having to say anything. You doubt you’d be able to voice it, anyway. You cry out, a half-whimper, half-sob, as Caleb thrusts his fingers deep inside of you, so long that he reaches a place you’ve never felt before. 

He flicks his tongue rapidly against your clit, jaw working and tongue aching to get you where he wants you as fluid drips onto your kitchen floor in front of him. Your lips part on a silent scream, and Caleb scissors his fingers inside of you as he works you through your orgasm. Your body surges forward with the intensity of it all, and Caleb steadies you with his free hand. You tremble in the aftershocks of your bliss, and worried that you’ll fall without something to hold on to, Caleb stands to hold you there while you recover.

“Good girl,” Caleb soothes. “You did so well for me. Can you stand?”

“I - I don’t know,” you answer honestly. 

“That’s okay, just wrap your arms around my neck, okay - and hang on tight for me?” Caleb speaks so gently, the difference is almost jarring.

Caleb wraps your legs around his waist, seemingly not caring that you’re staining the front of his shirt, and walks you to your bedroom. He lays you down on your bed to give you a moment to breathe, then leaves the room. You almost call to ask him where he’s going, but he returns within seconds with a damp cloth.

“Spread your legs for me?” Caleb instructs, and you mindlessly obey, thoughts still trying to find their way back into your head after they’ve been tongue-fucked out of it.

Caleb wipes your thighs first, then gently drags the cloth between your legs to clean you up as best he can. 

“Wow, you’re good at everything,” you manage after a few moments. 

Caleb snickers.

“I don’t wanna brag, buuuuuuut.”

“Mm, hey, while I’ve got you here,” you trail off, unable to fight a smile at your own amusement.

“Hm?”

If insomnia is your permanent prison, Caleb is the warden just beyond the bars of your enclosure and dangling the cell keys just beyond your reach. His visits have become a nightly occurrence. Ever since surrendering your body to him completely and allowing him to have you in ways you’ve never allowed anyone to before, it’s like you need him to survive. 

The highs of the pleasure he brings you begin to wear off faster and what used to be at least a solid three or four days of decent sleep have dwindled, forcing you to seek him out nightly for the itch only he can scratch.

Your initial mistrust of Caleb has dissipated and now you cling to every word he grants you; believe every praise he sings to you and revel in every touch he allows you. You’re self-aware enough to know that he likely doesn’t mean the things he says, but desperate enough to take what you can get, even deluding yourself into thinking he’s just as feral for you as you are for him when you call him to you and he can’t wait to rip your clothes off.

With every visit, he burns himself into your makeup and it’s like he’s rearranging the very molecules with which you consist of by the way he digs himself into you, molding your body to his and branding you so that you come apart for him and him only. His kisses are harsh, teeth full of poison and tongue the antidote, destroying and soothing you all at once. Close for Caleb is not close enough, and despite the fact that you know he doesn’t care for you the way he pretends, it’s his personal mission to try to prove you otherwise. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So good for me, sweetheart, you’re doing so good,” Caleb murmurs in your ear before leaning back to get the full view of your face.

You’ve had a hard day and when you called Caleb to come within seconds of being home - even before you changed out of your work clothes and he noticed immediately. He wasted no time stripping you, pawing at your clothes like in frustration, desperate to help you alleviate your stress and edge you to the brink of overstimulation.

Caleb’s desire to take as much as he can from you has become insatiable.

“Eyes on me,” Caleb urges you, eyes swimming with glee. “Keep those pretty eyes on me, yeah? I know you can give me one more, can’t you?”

“D-Don’t think I can,” Your voice is hoarse with exhaustion, uneven and trembling in a way that matches the way you’re quaking beneath him.

Caleb pinches your clit between his index finger and thumb and grins when a fractured version of his name wrenches from your lips.

“I know, sweetheart,” He coos with pity. “I know.”

“T-Too much,” You stammer, reaching forward with shaking hands to cover his, which he immediately swats away.

“Nuh-uh,” He drags his fingertips through your lips to collect the arousal leaking from you. “You can handle it, can’t you? Be a good girl and let me give you one more, okay? I know, I know.”

He leans over you to press a sweet kiss to your lips before shoving his soaked fingers into your mouth. You whine around the digits, pleas muffled with how full your mouth is.

“See? Tastes too good to waste, huh? I know, baby, I know you’re exhausted,” He inches down your body until he’s between your legs, licking his lips as he openly stares at your red, swollen cunt. “You’re gonna be so brave for me, though, right? Let me wear you out completely so you can get some sleep?”

“Y-yes,” You slur, despite your body protesting with the overstimulation of the last three orgasms he’s given you. 

“That’s my good girl. Say it.”

“I’m - I’m your good girl,” You manage between heaving breaths.

“Uh-huh,” Caleb encourages, scissoring his fingers back inside of you. “Tell me you’re gonna give me another one. Tell me you’re gonna let me make you come for me another time.”

“C-Caleb, it’s so much -”

“Say it or I’m going to stop touching you. Do you really want that? Do you want me to stop touching you or do you fucking need it?”

Your body betrays your half-hearted protests, hips bucking against his hand to force them deeper into you, drawn to his touch despite the tremors that course through your body.

“I - I need it,” You cry hoarsely, the anxiety of how on edge your body is leaking into your words. 

“Don’t be scared, sweetheart, I’ve got you,” Caleb promises as he fucks you with his fingers. “Gonna give you my cock, okay? Do you want it?”

“Yes, please, I want it - want you to give me another one, please -”

Caleb pulls his fingers out of you, a fresh flood of arousal following and soaking the sheets beneath you. You sob at the loss, but don’t have time to lament it too much before he’s bullying his cock inside of you, feeding you an inch at a time. 

“So wet for me, good girl,” Caleb praises as he easily glides into you. “Feel how easy that is for me? Fuckin’ made for my cock.”

You feel as though you have no control of your body, but Caleb so kindly takes over for you. It’s as if he knows every little facet of you that makes you tick, every spot and every sound burned into his mind and memorized for later - an analytical student who’s never satisfied. You don’t have to think when you’re with Caleb and you like that. 

Caleb hooks your thighs underneath his arms and presses them back until your hips protest so you’re completely open for him to fuck you as deeply as he wants to. He drags his cock out of you slowly and when the tip of him catches at your entrance, he immediately slams back in.

“C-Caleb!” You cry, eyes widening from the intense pressure and fullness.

“Say it, say my fucking name,” He commands, picking up the pace of his brutal thrusts as he talks you through it. “ - but remember that my name isn't a safe word.”

“Caleb, Caleb,” You say his name like a prayer, reverent and devoted as he gives you the pleasure he knows you need.

“Yeah, you’re doing so fucking good for me, sweetheart. So, so good,” Caleb rambles, noting how much you relax when you hear his voice. “You look so fucking beautiful like this - can feel you clenching around me, love. Are you gonna come for me?”

Your impending orgasm is so intense that it’s painful. Caleb immediately registers the look on your face as you milk his cock, eyebrows drawn together and lips falling open in a silent scream as you convulse, unable to control the trembling. He abandons his grip on one of your thighs to press his hand over your mouth, explaining his intention immediately so you’re not offended.

“Bite my hand, sweetheart - bite as hard as you need to, okay? I know it’s a lot, baby, I know.”

Without thinking, you bite down into the meat of his hand to ground yourself as you quake beneath him, soaking the sheets even further as he fucks you through it. The mix of pleasure and pain is so potent that black spots begin to dot your vision, jaw going slack enough that his hand falls from your mouth, riddled with your angry, red teeth marks. Caleb pulls out of you, a slew of curses growled under his breath, and lays next to you to pull you on top of him.

“I know, baby, shh - it’s okay, I know,” He hushes you and it’s then that you realize you’re sobbing from the overstimulation. “It’s okay, I’m right here, you’re right here. Breathe for me, sweetheart.”

It takes you a few moments to calm down, your mind and body so exhausted you can barely think straight anymore. Caleb soothes you through it, his hand pushing back sweaty strands of your hair. 

“So good, you did so good for me, love.”

Love.

It’s the last word you hear before you slip into unconsciousness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another night a few days later, Caleb has your head pressed into the bed, ass up in the air as he thrusts into you from behind, cock kissing your cervix almost painfully with each thrust.

“Take it so well,” He growls, fingernail biting into your cheeks as he relentlessly pounds into you. “I’m so proud of you, so nice and wet for me - so good for me, sweetheart.”

It’s dizzying how good it feels - almost like he’s on the verge of breaking you with every movement - dangling you over the precipice just to yank you back. Your legs quake, your body so exhausted that you can no longer hold yourself up. Caleb senses this just before you collapse by tucking one of his arms under your stomach to prop you up for him, his strength and grit when he’s falling to pieces inside of you almost admirable.

“Love fucking you to sleep like this, sweetheart - love you,” He growls. “Does it feel good?”

“So - so good,” Your strained voice is muffled by the sheets. “B-But -”

“But what? Speak up for me, yeah?” Caleb immediately slows his pace to make sure he can hear you, almost as if he’s scared you’re going to say he’s hurting you.

“Y-Your face - wanna see your face,” You finally say after you manage to pull yourself up to rest on your elbows and look back at him.

“You want to look at me? Awe,” He grins at you, but listens to your request.

Caleb uses the arm he has supporting your stomach to leverage you before leaning forward and using his other to pull you up by your shoulders so your back is flush against his front. The angle change has you whining, forcing him deeper into you as you breathe in every bit of him, intoxicated by his closeness and scent. When Caleb’s satisfied with his hold on you, he keeps one arm around your stomach to reach up with the other and grab your face. With his thumb on your right cheek and his other fingers splayed across your left he gently squeezes to force you to look back at him.

“Like this, huh?” Caleb murmurs into your ear as he slowly begins thrusting into you again, the movements shallow, but intense as he grinds his hips against you.

“C-Caleb,” You choke out, his name falling reverently from your lips as he subjects you to a deluge of bliss with slow, intentional grinding.

“That’s my name, that’s right, sweetheart. Use it for me,” Caleb peppers abnormally sweet kisses across your face as he moves his hips. “That feel good for you?”

“Uh-huh,” You keen, the sharp sound coming out like a hiccup. “D-does it feel good for you?”

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Caleb’s voice is velvety, dark and intense as he chastises you. “You’re not to think about my pleasure, understand me? Everything feels good for me, let me focus on you.”

“But -”

Caleb lets go of your face to slip his arm gently around your neck in a loose headlock and press you harder against him, hips stilling completely.

“What’d I say?” He demands.

“To let you focus on m-me,” You whine, hips moving of their own accord to get him to keep going.

“Exactly, very good,” Caleb begins to move the hand that’s cradling your stomach down and further down until it’s at the apex of your thighs and teases you by ghosting his fingertips across the skin there. “Do you think you can come like this?”

“I’m already close,” You admit, trapped against his body with nowhere to move as he tightens the headlock enough to keep you still, but not enough to be super uncomfortable.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, okay?” He promises, moving his hips in uneven, shaky circles as he finds your clit with his fingertips. 

He begins rubbing agonizing circles against you as he fucks you shallowly with his cock, the position not providing much room for actual thrusting, but the grinding driving you crazy. You’re realizing just how much he’s intended this to be for you, focusing all of his attention on the friction and stimulating your clit as opposed to pounding in and out of you and taking what he needs. 

“You’re so wonderful,” You say breathlessly, little moans and grunts of effort spilling from your lips as he plays you like an instrument, fingertips dexterous and deft.

“Glad you think so,” Caleb teases, a chuckle fighting its way into his low voice to break up the concentration like you amuse him. “Sweetheart, you’re so fun to play with. It’s like every touch is the first for you.”

“Like a virgin,” You remark with a laugh, the Madonna reference so out of place that Caleb actually has to stop what he’s doing for a second to focus. 

“Fuck, you’re special.”

He doesn’t mean it.

You feel a sharp, ugly pang in your chest that you ignore, focusing instead on Caleb’s fingers and how good his cock feels inside of you, filling you to the brim and the drag delicious despite the minimal movement. He presses against your clit hard with a particularly dirty swivel of his hips and your legs begin shaking, a tell-tale sign of your inevitable demise.

“That’s it, all for me,” Caleb praises, “All mine.”

Am I?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caleb is evolving into something of a drug for you. You tell yourself it’s that he really is the only thing that helps you sleep, yet you find yourself becoming so reliant on him that even when you feel like you can go a day or two without him, you call him anyways. It isn’t when he’s fucking the words out of you that you feel the heaviness set in, but in the tender moments between; the flick of your blissful tears with his delicate fingertips, the warmth his body provides when he’s seated deep inside of you even after you’re both come, the symphony of your breathless laughter and whispered sweet nothings like a knife to your heart when reality sets in.

“I wasn’t too rough for you, was I?” Caleb asks softly, brushing the hair from your face as his violet eyes bore into your own.

“I liked it,” You flush, unable to help the schoolgirl smile that plasters itself across your face. “It felt really good.”

“Good,” Caleb scoots closer so you’re chest to chest and rests his sweaty forehead against your own. 

You lay there like that for a few moments, neither one of you jumping at the chance to acknowledge the evening is ending and Caleb has to go soon so you can truly sleep. Caleb’s even breaths are like a metronome, soft on your ears and easy to focus on.

“Caleb?”

“Hm?”

“Are you - Are you ever going to tell me…” You trail off, not wanting to break the spell. “Nevermind.”

“What was it?” Caleb leans back, clearly not reading into the implication of your words.

You settle for a watered down version of the question you truly want to ask.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you can’t at least stay the night?”

Caleb’s body language changes immediately, completely stiff complete with a held breath that he lets out after a beat. His eyes shift so he doesn’t have to look at you.

“I don’t think we have to say that part out loud,” He says finally. “You and I both know why I can’t.”

You hide your face in his neck, unable to stop yourself from inhaling the sweet scent of cinnamon and apples that’s grown so much on you. 

“I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“You’re not,” Caleb rubs your back in soothing, delicate motions. 

“Just please,” You beg. “Please tell me it’s not all in my head.”

“Sweetheart -”

“Caleb.”

He groans, but pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you so tightly and securely you feel safe - sane for one second.

“It’s not all in your head, okay? Let’s not go there, sweetheart. I don’t think you want the answers to the questions you have.”

“Tell me it’s real, Caleb,” You press.

Tell me you love me.

“Go to sleep, baby, you’re so exhausted you’re delirious,” Caleb changes the subject, pulling you so tightly against him it’s hard for you to sleep.

As always, you fall asleep in his arms.

As always, you wake up alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time has begun working in funny ways and the effects that your abominable sleep schedule has been having on your overall state of being have started to drag you down. Half of the time, you’re dragging yourself into work after snoozing your alarm, even after Caleb’s worked his magic to wear you out the night prior.

You catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror at work and hardly recognize yourself. Your skin has taken on a sickly tinge and the bags that hang beneath your eyes have grown so pronounced and swollen that no cool compress or under-eye patches have been able to help. 

It’s gotten to the point that your coworkers have noticed and one of your favorites, Tara, has been expressing concern.

“Are you sure you don’t need to go home? You’re beautiful, you know I think that, so I truly mean no disrespect - you look so exhausted.”

You offer her a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes and gesture to your nearly empty coffee cup.

“I’m working on it – refuelling.”

She fixes you with a concerned frown.

“Really, it’s a slow day. You’re more than capable and one of the strongest people I know, but you need to prioritize your health. For me?”

You want to tough it out but it’s been getting harder to remain upright, let alone conversational. Tara gently pries the coffee mug from your hands and puts it aside.

“What do you have left to do today?” She asks kindly.

“Just a little bit of paperwork, but really -”

“I’ve got it,” Tara interrupts you with a smile. “Seriously. I’m bored and looking for things to do.  Jenna’s been worried, too. She would never say it, buuuuuut -”

“Thank you,” You cut her off with a grateful smile. “I’ll speak to Jenna, okay?”

“Okay,” Tara reaches out to place a consoling hand on your shoulder and gives you a gentle squeeze. “Please let me know if I can do anything for you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It turns out that even Tara has the capacity to downplay things, because as soon as you find Jenna, she demands you go home and get some rest. You don’t have enough energy in the tank to explain yourself or your current stresses, so you simply thank her and head out.

You shuck your worn shoes off as soon as you step foot inside and moan at the immediate relief. Due to your unexpected half-day, you find that you’re not as exhausted as normal when you come home later and decide to channel that energy into some much needed self care. Your long, hot shower and the skincare you’ve been depriving yourself of offer you a semblance of comfort, and while you don’t exactly feel like a brand new person, the small acts of maintenance feel rejuvenating even if the placebo effect tinges the intent. 

The sun has barely begun to set after your nightly routine has concluded and you can’t find it in you to muster up the energy to cook dinner for yourself. You’ll never admit it to Caleb or yourself fully, but you’re far too excited at the prospect of seeing your dreamy companion and the comfort he brings you to do anything but slip into some comfortable sleepwear and turn in for the night. Your head has barely hit the pillow before you’re calling for him, too dazed and exhausted to know whether or not you’re doing it in your mind or vocally. 

“Hello, beautiful,” Caleb greets, perched at the edge of your bed. “Miss me? Seems like you did since you couldn’t even wait for nightfall, huh?”

“Mhm,” You smile at him tiredly, finding the strength to sit upright so you can look at him fully. 

Caleb has only gotten more attractive to you over time. It’s like he glows a little more with every visit; his body more muscular than ever, arms bulging beneath the black fabric of his shirt. His skin shines, healthy and glassy and free from any blemishes or scars save for a light, barely there dusting of freckles. You question your mind and your memory, vaguely wondering if he’s always been like this or you’re just taken aback every time you see him.

He’s devastating to look at.

“Devastating? That’s a new one,” He beams at you, crossing the small distance to cup your cheek in his large, comforting hand. 

He studies your face as he strokes your cheek and the corners of his lips begin to droop and turn down in a frown.

“Wh-what, is everything okay?” You ask, the expression on his face causing you to panic.

“Yeah,” He says softly, letting his hand fall from your face and turning to look away from you as he composes his face into an unreadable mask. “I don’t think I should stay tonight.”

“What? Wh-why?”

Caleb stands, his back to you.

“I think you need a night off, sweetheart.”

You scramble to your feet to clumsily make your way to him and wrap your arms around him. He stiffens under your touch.

“Please, I can’t sleep, C-Caleb, I need your help.”

“I don’t think I’m what you need right now,” He turns to face you, unable to hide the grimace on his face. “You came home from work early, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” You bury your face in his chest. “I’m so tired. You’re the only one that can fix it.”

“Baby,” The term of endearment flies easily from his tongue and embeds itself into you like shrapnel.

It sounds domestic. It makes your chest ache. It hurts.

“Y-you know what, it’s fine,” You pull away from him to let your arms drop loosely at your sides. “I don’t really know what it is that you do, but I’m sure you’re very busy… doing that. I know I’ve been calling for you every night, so you’re probably sick of me, anyways.”

You turn away from him, frustrated and exhausted tears pin pricking burning your eyes. Caleb reaches to stop you, slipping his arm around your stomach.

“Don’t be like that,” He chastises you. “You’re crabby because you’re tired so I’ll let it slide this time.”

“Do I look bad? Is that it?” You find yourself asking bitterly. “You can just say so. If you’re not attracted to me, then -”

“No, no, no, no,” Caleb tugs you closer to him so that his front is flush against your back. “Feel how hard I already am? I just don’t know if you can handle much tonight, okay?”

It may be your exhaustion or the amalgamation of all of your insecurities building up inside of you, but his words make you sadder. You sag in his grasp, visibly deflating as the last bit of your willpower leaks out of you, resignation settling into your bones as you draw your  lips together in a tight line.

“Okay,” You agree, your voice hollow. “Just go.”

With a quick tug, you expel an unnecessary amount of force to extricate yourself and make your way back to the bed. You don’t have the energy to pull back your comforter, so you simply climb atop it and lay back.

“Pipsqueak -”

“If you want to go, just go,” You cut him off, voice thickening with tears. “You don’t have to be here.”

“Hey, you don’t have to -”

“Just stop acting like you fucking care,” You seethe, that dejected sadness curdling into a sick, festering anger. “If you’re not going to fuck me then just leave. You never stay after anyways and I know you’re full of shit whenever you’re pretending to be nice.”

It’s the loudest you’ve ever spoken to him; the nastiest you’ve ever allowed yourself to be. It comes from almost nowhere, the dregs of your worst qualities swirling in your stomach and rising like bile, staining your words and voice with hate. If you were in your normal, functioning state, you’d be horrified by the ugliness you’re currently proving you’re capable of. It’s not you, but you need him to leave so he can’t see you crying.

“Is that what you want?” Caleb tilts his head to the side, that pitying and obnoxious frown still marring his perfect face. 

“Yes,” You breathe, closing your eyes so you won’t chance looking at him. “I don’t need you or your pity.”

The room goes silent, but you keep your eyes closed. Trails of wet, hot tears begin to leak from your eyes as you believe you’re safe - free from Caleb and whatever judgement he might cast upon you for getting so worked up for no reason. You angrily wipe them away from your eyes as your chest heaves and you choke back sobs. This inevitable breakdown has been chipping away at you for weeks – months, really - and today your willpower has plummeted. 

You go still as you feel Caleb’s hands join yours, fingertips sweeping away the small puddles of tears on your face as you openly cry. You’re not brave enough to open your eyes, partially because looking at him might send you spiraling even further and partially because the sting is already too great to handle.

“This isn’t how I wanted to make you cry today,” Caleb laments somberly. “I’m sorry.”

“Y-you - stop it, please stop acting like you care,” You’re almost hyperventilating, overcome with the weight of your exhaustion and his empty words. “You don’t mean it.”

Caleb says nothing,  but climbs into bed next to you to pull your shaking body into his embrace. He leans back against the pillows so you can rest comfortably against his chest. 

“It’s okay,” He says tightly. “You can cry. Whatever you need.”

You must really look pathetic if he’s being this kind to you, but you’ll take what you can get. Instead of fighting back with angry words you’ll regret, you conserve your energy and try your best to calm down so you won’t stain his shirt. Caleb doesn’t seem to care one way or another and begins stroking the sides of your arms with his fingertips. 

It’s uncertain to you still whether or not you’re actually sleeping and the recesses of psychologically thrilling movies in the back of your mind beg you to listen to your instincts, but it doesn’t matter. The last thing you remember before coming to hours later is Caleb holding you. Of course he’s gone when you realize you’re no longer sleeping, but the sting in your throat lets you know your tears were more than real. 

Am I really crying in my sleep now?

The clock lets you know it’s almost six in the morning, so you’ve gotten a few hours of sleep under your belt and you suppose Caleb is partially to thank for that, regardless of the method. Sleep resides in your limbs as you stand, every movement weighted by invisible cinder blocks. You manage to lumber to the kitchen, no longer able to ignore the incessant pang of hunger in your stomach. 

You open your fridge, blinking sleep away, trying to find something quick to slake the starvation. A large bag sits in the center of your fridge – something you don’t remember making or bringing home. Your browns knit together in confusion as you reach for it, trying to remember what it is. Takeout isn’t something that’s super common for you due to your need to save as much as you can and you usually don’t keep leftovers. With shaking fingers, you open the bag to find  a container of a light liquid you assume is soup and a wrapped item that looks like a sandwich. You pull the food out to inspect it and find that today's date has been written upon both of the items in neat, bold marker. 

In the following weeks of Caleb’s last visit, you find yourself feeling even more sluggish than usual. Your default lately has been operating on a lower caliber, but something in the last few days has you so drained that you’re barely making it to work on time. The distortion between reality and dreams is becoming hazier and instead of whatever unremarkable dreams you’ve had prior to meeting Caleb are nothing compared to the lasting mark he’s branded you with.

These dreams aren’t quite like the ones where Caleb actually visits, but you can hear his voice whispering things to you and it’s impossible to differentiate between sweet promises and malicious threats. He invades every pore; every nerve and your synapses are firing on all fronts, which serves to only exhaust you further. It’s like he’s taken possession of you and reworked your makeup to respond to only him as he lords the promise of sleep over your head. Caleb is Pavlov, bell surreptitiously dangling in hand as you pant after him, begging for any bit of relief he can give you so long as sleep comes with it.

By ten in the morning, you’ve had three cups of coffee. The caffeine working in tandem with your exhaustion and nerves causes you to become more and more uneasy as the day progresses and the promise of night looms over you. Despite those worries and the fear of the unknown, a part of you longs for Caleb - yearns for the moment you get to see him again. Your anxiety and unease bleed into a raw, intense need that’s been driving you mad. If you called for him by name, would he come?

You lie in bed later that evening in one of your more daring pajama choices; a selection that you’ll never admit is intentional. Despite grappling with the idea that you’re dressing up for a man that the inner machinations of your mind have fabricated, you reason that donning the crimson lace panties is an act of self-love; something that makes you feel sexy and comfortable regardless of who gets to see it. You opt for a thin, oversized tee shirt decorated with apples that remind you of Caleb’s intoxicating scent. God, are you pathetic?

It’s as if he’s bewitching you, mind, body and soul - burning himself into you until you can’t survive without the sustenance he grants you – body withering as if you were in a desert and the sun is sapping the life force out of you.

You’re terrified for him to make an appearance, but every bit of you sings for him, begging him to come. You want to test out the theory that he truly only does appear when you call for it and you’re in dire need of the fix he gives you. Even if it’s only a couple of days of good sleep, you’re in such distress that you’re desperate for it. It’s getting to the point that you cannot rest without him and the pleasure he brings you, so surely what’s the harm in asking for him? 

Would it be so bad?

Fatigue overrides any sane thought you might have and this time, you are intentional.

“Caleb,” You whisper, throat raw and dry as his name comes out in rasps of agony. “Caleb, please. I need you, please. Please.”

“Call for me?”

Within split seconds, Caleb’s voice comes from over by your open bedroom door where he’s leaning against the frame, almost too tall to be allowed - not entering like he’s waiting to be invited in.

“You’re - you’re here?”

A sneer flashes across his face and he smirks at you like he’s making fun of you.

“Did you not ask for me? Honestly, you’re kinda stupid. What? What did you need this time? I’ve noticed how exhausted you’ve been looking. Can’t sleep without me, huh? Good.”

Caleb crosses the small distance between the two of you, his every move full of purpose and promises. He stops short of your bed, looking down on you with a face full of a false,  gleeful pity. 

“Fuck, you look awful,” Caleb lets out a low, chiding whistle. “Let’s fix it, yeah? What can I do for you, princess?” 

Caleb graces you with an exaggerated, mocking bow.

“A-Anything, I don’t know what I want - just wanna sleep, please.”

“You want to sleep or … you want me?”

“Can’t it be both?”

What’s the difference?

“Which need is more dominant? I can bend you over and fuck you stupid until you pass out, no problem – but don’t you want a little more than that?”

“I’ll - I will take anything you’ll let me have, please,”  You beg hoarsely and even you think you sound pathetic.

“Of course you will,” Caleb sighs and runs a hand through his messy hair. “Look - I’m not in the business of giving people things they don’t actually want. I am here for you; this is all for your benefit. None of it makes a fucking lick of difference to me, so you might as well enjoy it. I can anticipate your every need and nothing, not even the most minute of reactions gets past me. So why don’t you tell me what you really want? I know, but do you?”

“You.”

“You’re probably exhausted so I’ll give you a pass for acting so dumb, but we’ve established that. What? Do you want my tongue on you again? You and I both know that makes you feel good with how soaked you got me - I’m surprised you weren’t so embarrassed that you were squirting all over me.”

“I - yes but,” You stammer, unable to fathom your desires into words. 

“Buuuuuuut you want more than that this time,” Caleb finishes for you. “You need something big to fill you up, huh? I felt you clenching around my fingers and my tongue and it wasn’t enough for you.”

“I just want you to make me feel good,” You struggle with the words and the fact that all of this is new to you makes you feel small; weak. 

Caleb grabs your chin and forces you to look at him.

“I’ll make you feel good no matter what I do, so HOW do you want me to do it, pipsqueak? Use those words – I see those awards on your walls and I know how smart you are. I’m in charge, but I need you to tell me what you want.”

Despite the rough way in which he’s conveying it, the idea that he wants to take care of you is overwhelming. Not once has he focused on himself or demanded anything of you for his own gain even though his attitude has been less than warm. He’s made your body sing, erupt in ways that you’ve never experienced before and will likely be unable to achieve without him. He’s here for you; this figment of your imagination and likely the conjuring of all of your unspoken needs amalgamating into your perfect idea of what a man is.

“This - this is all a dream right?”

Caleb’s eyes narrow and he cocks his head to the side, his gaze hungry as he releases his grip on your chin and steps back to drink in the sight of you.

“Does it really fucking matter?” He challenges.

“My - my underwear, you - you took them, didn’t you?”

Caleb scoffs.

“Why would I do a thing like that?”

“Don’t - don’t lie to me, Caleb. I’m not stupid.”

“Fuckin’ could have fooled me. I think you like being stupid for me. You like it when I make you go dumb, don’t you? You always have so many big and important thoughts in that beautiful little head of yours that you love it so fucking much when you don’t have to think with me. You like it when I take care of you, don’t you, baby?”

“I just want to feel good and -”

“And you know I can make you feel good no matter what, right? So what you’re saying is you trust me?”

“I g-guess, but -”

“You’re relying on me to make you feel good, right? You know that I can do this. So, you trust me. You’re surrendering yourself to me, yeah? I kinda like that. So touch starved and so eager for me you’re willing to let me do whatever the fuck I want to you so you don’t have to think about it and just feel?”

“Yes!” You cry, frustrated and turned on as you rub your legs together.

“That’s all you had to say, ya know?” He grins at you, crossing his arms as he relishes in your frustration. “You just had to tell me that’s what you wanted. I’m not gonna act on anything here no matter how well I can read your desires. You’ve gotta want it out loud and proud, sweetheart.”

“I do - I do want it.”

“Yeah? How badly?”

“So badly. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat - I haven’t been able to think about anything but you. What did you do to me?”

“You’re just obsessed with me, princess, don’t worry. It’s not your fault, I mean, look at me. How about this? How about you stand up for me?”

You obey as if in a trance, shoving your bedsheets out of the way to free yourself. He backs away from the bed a bit to give you room to stand in front of him and the height difference causes a fresh wave of arousal to course through you.

“Good girl,” Caleb coos, cupping your jaw with his hand, big and comforting as he stares sweetly into your eyes. “Now get on your fucking knees.”

You bite back a whimper at the command and do as you’re told without a remark, sinking slowly to your knees and grabbing hold of his legs as leverage to steady yourself. Caleb leans forward to grab your chin again, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“You gonna do exactly what you’re told for me?”

You swallow the knot in your throat and nod, enchanted by his captivating gaze.

“So sweet of you, pipsqueak. I love how obedient you are - you really need me don’t you?”

“I - Yes,” You manage.