Recollection
For day 5 of Kanamafu week; prompt is Comfort
Kanade attempts to recall a song from a time long gone while Mafuyu listens.
this is actually meant for niigo ship week last year, i am so horribly, fashionably late
Ao3 link
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Low, soft strumming sounds drifted through the Sekai as Kanade sat cross-legged on the floor amidst a pile of music sheets scattered around her. She was leaning against one of the steel girders that comprises much of the environment in this gray, desolate world, completely focused on the guitar that was laid out across her lap.
Every instrument functions best when properly maintained, and she knew that this one especially needed it the most. She felt at ease with the activity, plucking its strings every now and then, taking her time in twisting the tuning pegs to correct any out-of-tune chords. All it needed was some slight tweaks in the two remaining strings on the topmost pegs, and then she could start playing.
So immersed was she in her task, that she had not yet realized that she had a visitor nearby.
“Kanade?”
Mafuyu was standing right next to her, regarding the composer curiously. When Kanade still hadn’t noticed her, she called her name once more—louder this time—and it seemed to do the trick. Kanade jerked back in surprise, making her hand abruptly brush off the strings a little too hard, accidentally creating a loud, off-key tune that made both of them wince a little.
“M-Mafuyu, you came,” she sputtered, finally glancing up as she rubbed her neck sheepishly. “You surprised me. I didn’t notice you arrived just now.”
“Sorry,” Mafuyu replied in her usual blank tone, but Kanade already knew her well enough to know that she was sincere about it. “But you didn’t seem to hear me when I called out to you once.”
“Then I should apologize as well, since I was busy tuning this,” Kanade said, running her fingers against the neck of her guitar. “Have you been here for long? You’re quite early today.”
Mafuyu shook her head. “Cram school finished early so I thought I would stay here for a while. I only just arrived when I spotted you nearby.” Her gaze lingered down to the instrument that Kanade was holding. It was a simple brown acoustic guitar; battered with age but was not badly damaged, and looked like it would still play well despite it.
“Didn’t you use one for the song you recently made for me? The one you have right now looks kind of…” Neglected and unused, she wanted to say, but instead just opted for, “Worn.”
“I did, but I composed that one using my own,” Kanade responded in turn. One last tweak and… there. It should now play on-tune now. She gave the strings another quick strum just to make sure. Perfect. The instrument now felt right in her hands. A wistful smile crept on her face and her voice grew somber. “This was my father’s. I stumbled upon it when I was searching for something in my room, and I thought that I’d fix it.”
When was the last time she held this, let alone played it? It feels so long ago since she hadn’t really touched this instrument at all ever since her father’s accident, due to the memories that associated with it, memories that she had buried deep within her subconsciousness to the point of forgetting about it. If it wasn't for Mizuki’s help, it would have stayed that way.
She could now remember it so clearly, recalling how she used to constantly nag her father to teach her how to play back then, even though her tiny little hands couldn’t even grasp the neck of the guitar, much less strum the chords by herself.
Mom used to smile at our antics back then...
Kanade closed her eyes. Those times with her family were long gone, and despite the yearning to go back to the past where she was happy with her parents, not worrying about the sickness that took her mother away from them far too soon, and her father not even recognizing her on the rare occasion she managed to catch him awake during her hospital visits, she knows that she cannot bring them back.
Nothing remains left but lingering memories of what once was…
“Kanade? Are you alright?”
Mafuyu’s voice cracked like a whip that broke through her thoughts and brought her back to reality. Kanade met the lyricist’s gaze boring into her, and while her expression remained unchanged, she could see hints of concern in those deep-purple eyes.
I must have made her worried…
“Yes, I’m fine,” she said, giving Mafuyu a reassuring smile. “I’m just reminiscing. It’s been a long time since…”
The nostalgia for the past does seem to weigh her down, and she could feel her heart throbbing painfully at the thought of the memory, piercing and stabbing her like thorns, but Kanade didn’t try to push away the feeling. She welcomed it, because along with the pain comes a sense of warmth surging through her, which somehow eased the loss and sadness.
“It must’ve been important to you, if you took the time to fix that…” Mafuyu said, sitting down beside her.
“It is. So many memories have been made from this,” Kanade said softly as she gently fiddled with the guitar, getting a feel for the instrument by playing some random melody from one of her past songs. “Do you remember when I told you before about the song that my dad made for me and my mom? The one that made us smile back then?” she asked and Mafuyu nodded. “I was just trying to see if I could still recall that one.”
“Is it for a new song, then?” The lyricist knew that Kanade would do anything to get her creative juices flowing so that she could keep on composing. Whether it be reading books or watching movies and anime that Mizuki would sometimes recommend to them, or going on a mystery tour or to Phoenix Wonderland despite her fear of the supernatural and not being good at crowds and the sunlight. This is no exception, if that was the case.
The composer stopped playing, biting her lower lip in thought for a moment before answering. “Well… not exactly. While it did cross my mind that perhaps I could get some inspiration out of it, I guess the main reason why I brought my dad’s old instrument out is because… I missed it.” An ache had begun to creep into her voice. “He used to let me borrow this until he bought me my own, and he would teach me how to play…”
There it is again… Seeing her expression softened to one of melancholy once more stirred something in Mafuyu’s chest, and not in a good way. Kanade looked so lost right now, dragged down by something, and it made her feel uncomfortable.
And while she may not understand it completely, she knows that there is one thing that she can do.
Kanade was lost in her own thoughts when she felt something heavy on her side. Turning around, she finds Mafuyu leaning against her, head resting on her shoulder. She doesn't say anything, but her thin, long hand reaches out for her own, intertwining their fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze.
It must have been Mafuyu’s own way of comforting her, and for that, Kanade was grateful for her presence and this simple gesture.
It felt so warm.
“Hey, Kanade?” Mafuyu glanced at her, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?”
“Do you mind if I stay here and listen to you play?”
She blinked for a moment, then smiled softly, pleased to see that Mafuyu’s showing interest. “Of course you can, Mafuyu. You’re more than welcome to. I don’t mind having an audience, otherwise I wouldn’t be here in the first place, since Miku and the others will still be able to hear this song anyway. Let me just prepare for a second.”
“Alright.” Mafuyu didn’t want to leave their already comfortable position, but she relented, as Kanade needed to focus and play properly.
Shifting into a position so that she was now facing Mafuyu, Kanade closed her eyes for a moment, and began to strum.
May my song reach Mafuyu’s growing feelings.
It was definitely not the song that her father played back then. The first few notes were still familiar to her, as Kanade could still remember them vividly, and maybe even some parts in the middle of it. But how could she integrate those parts if she could not recall the rest of it? It wasn’t the whole piece, she was certain of that. And even if she did manage to, she doesn’t think that she could even try to recreate it perfectly. She already knew that before starting to play, since it was her father’s song, after all.
That does not deter her, however. Using the foundations of the parts that she can recall of her father’s song, she then instead began to incorporate her own style into it. She let her own music guide her through, improvising as she went on playing. All the while thinking of her own family and the warm memories that they had once shared. Letting herself get lost in them and reliving the past made her glad that she remembered. She wanted to remember. These are the moments that she will treasure in her heart for as long as she lives.
It became a bit more somber in tune as a result, but she was pouring her own feelings into it while still making sure to retain the warmth from the original song.
Halfway through her performance, as her fingers danced over the strings to give shape to the notes forming in her mind, her thoughts now wandered to the girl in front of her. She took a passing glance at Mafuyu, who just sat there in silence, listening intently, transfixed by her song.
If her father once dedicated his own song to his own wife and daughter, then Kanade too will do the same. Only that, she will also dedicate this arrangement to one more person that became important to her life, so that one day she could smile and laugh just like her family did.
To Mafuyu.
She’s glad that she was here and could share this personal moment with her. She could only hope that Mafuyu would feel the same as well.
The last notes rang throughout the empty world. Kanade let out a sigh of content as she stopped playing, the memories fading away with the music.
“How was it?” She looked up from the guitar and turned expectantly to Mafuyu. “It’s not exactly the actual song that my dad used to play but I just added my own touch to it, and…” She stopped when she saw the other girl frozen in place, her expression stunned and her left hand clutching her chest.
“Mafuyu?” Kanade placed her father’s instrument on the side and went to her, eyebrows creasing in concern. “Is something wrong? What did you-”
She was interrupted mid sentence when she felt herself being pulled closer into an embrace, arms wrapping around her body, startling her enough that she uttered a quiet yelp.
“M-Mafuyu, what-”
“So warm…” She heard the other girl say, her voice barely above a whisper.
Kanade was caught off guard, not sure if Mafuyu was referring to the song or to herself, but she eventually returned the hug, rubbing her hand on her back in gentle motions.
They stayed like that for a moment.
“How was it?” Kanade repeated her question, pulling away from the hug. “From the way you suddenly embraced me, I take it that you liked the song?”
The slight curve in her mouth and the clear light in those purple eyes present on Mafuyu’s face told her everything she needed to know.
“I’m not sure if I can convey it properly, but…” Mafuyu paused for a moment, struggling to find the words to describe the feelings she just felt.
“Go on,” Kanade encouraged, ever so patiently.
“You told me once about your father’s song before, but there’s a difference between telling and actually listening to it. Finally getting to hear it, and remembering what you said about wanting me to smile like you did... something welled up inside my chest. It felt so warm.
“All I’m saying is…I think I liked it. I see now why your dad made that song for you and your mom. Thank you for sharing such warmth with me, Kanade."
Hearing her genuine compliment, Kanade’s heart softened, and could not hold back the little smile forming from her lips.
She’s slowly starting to feel some emotions again. She’s improving a lot, and that’s great for her.
“Thank you too, Mafuyu. I’m glad you liked it.”
Maybe I really am saving her… I am a few steps closer. Thank you… dad.
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“Will you use this one for our next song?” Mafuyu asked after a while. She was once again resting her head on Kanade’s shoulder.
The composer hummed in thought, then shook her head. “Maybe I’ll reuse some parts of it, but no, I think I’ll keep this one to ourselves. Why do you ask?”
The idea of Kanade sharing such a personal song to her made her chest feel fuzzy, and while she does not know the reason why, she did not dislike the feeling.
“I see. I just feel like… there’s something quite missing.”
“Oh?” Kanade met her eyes and tilted her head questioningly. “You think I should change something? I’m all ears.”
“That’s not it,” Mafuyu said. ”Your new music is fine as it is; no need to change anything since it was from your own feelings. It’s just that… I think that I want to respond to them. Like how you once did with mine.”
Kanade’s eyes widened in surprise.
You don’t mean…
But she already knew what was coming. Warmth tingled through her when she saw Mafuyu reaching out for one of the blank music sheets nearby and took out a pen from her school cardigan's pocket.
“Can I write the lyrics for your song?”
