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yohan didn’t quite know how the audition results would go, and the biggest thing he was worried about was his lack of experience when it came to acting. he hadn’t really one it before, it hadn’t been an area he had considered working on, with him being so focused on improving his rapping and singing, acting hadn’t even crossed his mind. yet here he was now, actually intrigued and excited for the musical, and the urge to improve throughout this experience too.
“man.. i don’t even know..” yohan responds as he glances down at the countless pieces of paper that are settled in his hands, a mix of the scripts and the lyrics for the songs. there were quite a few, and (thankfully) he wasn’t singing on them all, but there were still a good few that they were singing. which was fun and exciting, but it also meant extra hard work in order to make sure he’s not slacking. his singing and rapping still wasn’t the best.
“a little bit? more so because i’ve never really done acting before, so i just hope i don’t like, let people down? i’ll have to work harder to not seem like the odd one out, type of thing.” yohan says, yet the little comment about honkai and zelda being released at the same time has him chuckling softly. “i know what zelda is, but i have no clue what honkai is. is it like, the next genshin impact?”
haley tries to settle down, sitting back down by yohan and following his gaze to the music sheets. it felt like they had so little time to actually prepare for the musical after waiting for the audition results, she’s wondering how stressed the lead roles must feel in comparison to those in the more minor roles. “me neither,” haley says with a sigh. “maybe we should just start with the first song and work our way through?”
haley clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes at yohan. “how would you disappoint anyone?” she wonders, putting a hand on her hip. “you try your best, thats all you need to do. if people see you work hard, they appreciate your effort, no matter the outcome. besides, we’re all improving, unless you think you’ve peaked already?” haley laughs a little. “you’re too young for that.”
“similar but i know if you ask me anymore questions i’ll go on a tangent and never get back.”
yohan hums softly as he flicks through the sheets, eyes skimming over the script and lyrics for the show. it was a little daunting, he didn’t know how well he would do, and he couldn’t help but be a little bit nervous even though he feels mor eexcited for it all. with very little experience in this type of field before, he just hopes that his acting doesn’t come off bad. he nods his head as she mentions about starting with the first song and working their way through, taking a deep breath as he flicks back to the lyric sheet for the first song.
he chuckles softly, tilting his head in a shrugging type of way. “well i’m not the best at acting, for something i haven’t really done before, i’m surprised i didn’t get the lowest of lowest roles. in a way i was expecting i’d be in the ensemble, so i was.. pleasantly surprised with the results i guess.” admitting with a little sheepish tone, he leans back slightly as he rests his arms on his knees. he shakes his head quickly, pulling a little face. “i’ve definitely not peaked and don’t think i will for years, i don’t think any of the debuted idols even feel like they’ve peaked too. this industry is competitive, you always have to improve in some way.”
another soft chuckle escapes him. “damn, it’s that good, huh?”
“i thought someone had ordered something to the wrong address,” somin admits, laughing a little bit to herself as she had cut the tape on the package prior to climbing back onto the bed. she’s alone right now, considering all of the other members in this room had individual schedules and she could only wish that she would be getting some soon. “which is concerning too, but i’m glad you told me before i tried to like, return it or something.”
she can feel the anticipation running through her veins and she chews on her bottom lip as she lifts the flaps on the box, trying not to peek inside and ruin the surprise prematurely. she’s also trying not to be too giddy about this, considering that she hasn’t really gotten any presents from boys before, so this kind of feels like a big milestone in her life even if they haven’t really established if they’re anything more than friends.
(part of her thinks they must be on that path. why else would he be sending her a present on valentine’s day, right?)
“okay, tell me when you’re ready and i’ll take it out?”
it had been hard, incredibly hard lately and the hardest part of it all was not having anyone to really talk to about everything. sure, people knew vaguely that he had been seen hanging out with a debuted idol, but that was it. for all he knew, the other trainees thought he was some kind of punk who tried to leech off her, like it was some way to get ‘higher up’, which certainly wasn’t the case at all. he hadn’t even told anyone about somin yet, not even his room mates, or his best friend haeun. it was hard, but part of him felt like maybe it would be better to keep it quiet for now. he didn’t want it to get out and spread amongst the trainees and the idols, actors and models in the company too. he didn’t want that light on her like that. but now, now he’s just glad they could get this time together with her.
“i had to make sure it was in your name and nothing could be traced back to me, well, except the payment details but i asked them to remove the invoice.” yohan replies in a sheepish tone, corner of his lips curling upwards into a side smile as he stares at somin through the screen. how was it that even through a screen, she still looked just as pretty?
he watches intently as she cuts the tape open, his leg bouncing slightly, so he opts to move his phone onto his other knees so the camera doesn’t shake as much. he’s nervous, but also excited for her to open the gift. it was something he had picked out carefully, though it was difficult considering he wanted to buy more than one thing. but he had to remind himself that there would be more times for those. hopefully.
it’s easy to spot the excitement running through her, and he can’t help but chuckle softly, hand raised to run through his hair. “i’m ready, open up.” he says with an equally as excited voice, bringing his phone a little bit closer so he can see her open the present better. what lay inside the box is a cute, medium sized bubble tea plush. the idea came to him when he was thinking of what to get her, because he wanted to, and he thought back to when they went put for bubble tea, and he himself loves plushies, so it felt fitting.
hello yohanie pt. 2 ( spring '23 )
( trainee mission ) ft. @yohanlgc ♡
haley was excited to extend her time working with yohan, glad that they're in the same group for the musical now that the auditions are over and the positions have been casted. thankfully now that just leaves time for rehearsals and eventually the opening performance. the preparations before seem worlds away now that they're starting to actually get ready to perform and rehearse the songs they'll be singing in their act.
"which song should we go over?" she says to yohan, standing up and flexing her hand which is stiff from a night spent clutching her computer mouse instead of sleeping. haley's feeling jittery and starting to regret the espresso she downed this morning in order to wake herself up. her tummy flutters with a thousand caffeinated butterflies. she looks at yohan and takes a deep breath, reaching out to grab his arm.
"are you nervous for the musical? i feel like i haven't been able to sleep very well lately. well... but maybe that's because honkai and zelda were both released at the same time. do you realize how bad that timing is for me?"
yohan didn’t quite know how the audition results would go, and the biggest thing he was worried about was his lack of experience when it came to acting. he hadn’t really one it before, it hadn’t been an area he had considered working on, with him being so focused on improving his rapping and singing, acting hadn’t even crossed his mind. yet here he was now, actually intrigued and excited for the musical, and the urge to improve throughout this experience too.
“man.. i don’t even know..” yohan responds as he glances down at the countless pieces of paper that are settled in his hands, a mix of the scripts and the lyrics for the songs. there were quite a few, and (thankfully) he wasn’t singing on them all, but there were still a good few that they were singing. which was fun and exciting, but it also meant extra hard work in order to make sure he’s not slacking. his singing and rapping still wasn’t the best.
“a little bit? more so because i’ve never really done acting before, so i just hope i don’t like, let people down? i’ll have to work harder to not seem like the odd one out, type of thing.” yohan says, yet the little comment about honkai and zelda being released at the same time has him chuckling softly. “i know what zelda is, but i have no clue what honkai is. is it like, the next genshin impact?”
but the heart wants what the heart wants, and she blinks at yohan’s face on the screen with a fond feeling in her chest. it’s a shame that they have to stay apart for this, but it’s definitely with their best interests at heart that they don’t go anywhere near each other physically until this all has passed.
“packages?” she echoes, before her eyes widen. “so it was from you?” somin asks, surprised. “i got a package that i didn’t remember ordering,” she admits, and she tells him to wait, muting her phone and putting it on her pillow as she goes to get the box that she had put on her desk, having been thinking about opening it to check what it was before perhaps sending it back but now that the mystery was solved, she was (probably way too) excited to open it.
returning to bed with the package in hand, she unmutes herself and waves the box in front of the camera, grinning brightly. “if i had known it was from you, i would’ve opened it earlier. but i guess this way you can watch me unbox it?”
the last few months sucked, well and truly, the knowledge that he couldn’t see somin at any point and could only see her through the face times they shared. it sucked, and truth be told, he did miss her a lot. no one knew that the girl he was with was somin, and part of him wanted to keep it that way. not because he was shy, but because he didn’t want it getting out. but then again, after being called out in front of all of the trainees, he wonders if people know he was with somin those times. they all know he was seen with a debuted idol, and after everything went down, part of him wanted someone to confide in about it. he wanted at least one person to know what was going on, keeping it all to himself when part of him wanted to kind of gush about her was a struggle too.
and yeah, maybe he was a little envious that nahee was spending all of her time with somin. it wasn’t like he could steal her away for even a few minutes to see her, because she was just there. it made him groan and pout like a little kid, because he wished that he was able to see her even just for a few moments.
he smiles at her response, facial expressing a happy one. “that’s good, i’m a staple in your life then.” his smile widens into a grin, snuffling on his bed to get a little more comfortable. it felt so good to be able to see her again, even if it was just through the screen. and on today of all days, he’s so glad she was able to pick up the phone. he probably, no, he would have been gutted if she wasn’t able to. especially today, and he was hoping that his little present had finally arrived to her. he wanted her to know he was thinking of her, even when they weren’t able to be together, and he hopes that his present and the facetime call on valentine’s day gives her a little hint of how he feels towards her.
he hopes that they’ll be able to see each other again soon, because it was a bit of torture staying away from her for this long when they had been seeing each other steadily prior, but he knows it’s for the best right now. he most certainly didn’t want her to get into anymore trouble, and he himself didn’t want more eyes on him or a bigger probation, hell, he definitely didn’t want to get kicked out of the company. and knowing that the staff knew he was with somin those times, he figures that they’re wondering just what’s going on with them.
the way her eyes widen in shock, he chuckles and nods his head. “yeah, i wanted to tell you before but i was hoping to catch you today so you could open it with me.” yohan admits, a little fond smile on his face as he watches her move to grab the package. while she grabs it, he moves to sit up and lean against the wall, holding his phone on his knee. he grins again when she returns, nodding quickly. “open away, i hope you like it. i was hoping it’d be delivered by today, so i’m glad it was.”
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“but—” she begins, knowing it’s her inner saboteur trying to find rebuttals to yohan’s words. haeun sighs, crouching down and hugging her knees in defeat. “i really feel like these last couple of months have been the hardest they’ve even been. it’s been one thing after another. when is it going to be something that i’m actually good at? i’m tired.”
it’s exhausting feeling like she hasn’t been good enough for the last half a year essentially. they’re almost to june and there hasn’t been a moment where haeun hasn’t been struggling. struggling so much is exhausting. when was her break? when was her time?
“i like disney musicals,” she says. “my favourite is make a man out of you from mulan.” but that was sung by a man for the most part. because it’s so low, she could sing it. would it be good? probably not. “i’ve really gotten into encanto lately too.”
yohan knew the struggle and stress of trying to improve in such a good time, hell, he thinks that’s why he would push himself so hard. those times where he could have been resting or relaxing, he chose to self practice, to try his hardest to improve and show people that he deserved to be here. he wasn’t some guy who slacked off, even if some people thought that, he wanted to show them that he has talent and that he deserves to be here, to change their opinion and view of him.
he gives her a look when she starts with the ‘but’, face smoothing out into a softer expression as she sighs. he knew it was hard, and especially for haeun who was pretty much going through it right now. he thought that he had it bad before, and perhaps he did, but he feels like haeun’s got it a little more bad right now. he nods, completely understanding where she was coming from. he felt the same for that trimester, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and had those moments where he wondered if he was really going to be able to overcome it, but he didn’t want to say goodbye to his dream. he wasn’t going to let that happen. “i get it, it’s been really tough the last few months, but try to see it like this, we’re still trainees, you know? we’re here to learn and get better, and even if this isn’t something you feel like you’re going to be good at, you won’t know unless you try, right? none of us are really the best right now, and there’s always room for improvement. but that’s why we’re here, hae.”
“you know what, i’ve never seen mulan. why don’t you sing me a bit? if you want to.” yohan responds, shooting her a soft smile, an encouraging one but one that showed that he wouldn’t judge, and she didn’t have to if she didn’t feel comfortable. “i haven’t seen encanto either, man, i really got to catch up on these musicals, don’t i?”
hi hi just a quick little ooc post to say that i’ll be catching up on replies and plotting messages !! i was really sick the last 2 weeks so i was suffering Hard.. but now i am back !!
so sejun’s set on rotting, at least for the next month or so. today, instead of doing anything productive, he’s listening to the same moody frank ocean playlist on repeat. sejun even puts his phone on do not disturb, muting all notifications (except sunhwa, of course), and he’s set on dissociating for the rest of the night.
that is until he feels the blanket slip off his face and feels yohan’s eyes on him. his airpods fall out of his ears with the subtle action, pausing his music and bringing him back into a world he hates right now.
sejun scowls. “i’m meditating, kid,” he says, out of character grumpy for typical na sejun. “practicing mindlessness, it’s the new technique. it’s where you simulate not having a brain,” sejun tells him. he looks down at his evening attire, which is just a plain black shirt and some sweatpants. “not dressed…” sejun says rolling over and closing his eyes. “no fresh air. will eat later.”
yohan was not enjoying this change in sejun, not one buit. he didn’t like how closed off and reserved he was becoming, because it was so out of his character, and he didn’t like it. he was used to him being chaotic, a source of energy bouncing around in their dorm (along with him, of course, kiha just had to put up with their endless energy), so to see the sudden downpour was a little bit alarming if he was honest.
while sejun was there for yohan when he wasn’t at his best, yohan just wants to be able to do that for him, but it’s like.. he didn’t even want it. like he didn’t care to have someone reach out or make sure he was okay. and that alone was enough to have him reach a worried point where if he had to become annoying to get something out of sejun, then he would.
the atmosphere in the dorm was far from what it usually was, and it was a little bit like you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and the edges of the cut would be all ridged, which is exactly what the dorm felt like right now compared to the usual, chaotic boasting with energy and shenanigans.
the scowl on sejun’s safe is enough to tell yohan that he just disturbed him in a mood where he did not want to be spoken to or disturbed, brought back to the realist that he was trying hard to avoid these days. the snappy little kid that rolls off sejun’s tongue has yohan’s eyebrows raising in slight surprise, and while he doesn’t take offence to it, he’s a little bugged that however he’s feeling right now has him retorting to this, a different version of himself, one he wasn’t used to and was probably his least favorite version of sejun he’s seen.
“i don’t think that’s possible unless you’re pretty much brain dead, which you’re not.” yohan replies in a more blunt tone, pulling the blanket completely off sejun and throws it across the dorm, which he knows will probably annoy sejun even more. “it’s already late, hyung, get up, come on, let’s just get some food; you don’t even have to talk, i just want you eat something. and i miss you, so,” yohan tries to pull at sejun’s heartstrings using hyung in a sweet tone, followed by telling him he missed him, he would stand here for an hour trying to get him to agree.
something about singing in front of people makes her stomach twist painfully, pressing on every other organ around it. it gets uncomfortable to breathe. the thought brings her to her knees everytime. haeun would prefer to omit herself from the process altogether. although she knows that’s not how it works.
she’s long since resigned to the fact that the reality was that she had no choice. she would have to sing eventually and it seems as though that time is now. her palms are clammy at the thought of the auditions looming closer. she promised herself that she wouldn’t back down but has she finally met her match?
“i can’t do it. i don’t even know what to sing,” she admits to yohan with a small look of panic on her face. aren’t most musicals comprised with strong vocalists: vocalists that can sing both really high and low? the vocalists whose voices carry through and entire auditorium without problem? all the things haeun couldn’t accomplish. “i’m just going to mess it all up. and in front of people. that’ll be really embarrassing.”
yohan himself was still getting used to singing in front of people with confidence (just like jaesun had told him, and since then it’s been something he’s still working on, even with rapping), and he’s glad that he can say he feels more confident and hopefully it showed too. though yohan knew that haeun and singing was a difficult mix, so he’s not surprised to see her looking so torn and uncomfortable when he casts her a quick look.
“hey, just relax for a moment.” yohan tells her in a soft voice, nodding his head over to an area that was more at a distance so he could talk to her a little more freely. “don’t panic, there’s still time, and don’t rush it, the more you rush then the more you’ll struggle and panic more.” he says calmly, taking a seat on the floor and leans against the wall.
“none of us here are perfect at anything, but that’s why we have these workshops, right? what’s your favorite musical?” he feels like distracting her for a moment would help, so he decides to divert the subject slightly to her favorite musical, and then hopefully pull some ideas from her that she could use to her advantage. “tell me your favorite musical song.”
“entertainers are spontaneous, energetic, and enthusiastic people – life is never boring around them.”
74% extraverted
59% observant
57% feeling
53% prospecting
64% assertive
strengths:
bold – entertainers aren’t known for holding back. wanting to experience everything there is to experience, people with the entertainer personality type don’t mind stepping out of their comfort zones when no one else is willing
original – traditions and expectations are secondary to entertainers, if a consideration at all. entertainer personalities love to experiment with new styles, and constantly find new ways to stick out in the crowd.
aesthetics and showmanship – not stopping at mere outfits, entertainers inject artistic creativity into their words and actions, too. every day is a performance, and entertainers love to put on a show.
practical – to entertainers, the world is meant to be felt and experienced. truth is stranger than fiction, and entertainers prefer to see and do than to wax philosophical about “what-ifs”.
observant – with all this focus on the here and now, on doing and acting, it makes sense that entertainers are naturals when it comes to noticing real, tangible things and changes.
excellent people skills – more so than things though, entertainers love to pay attention to people. they are talkative, witty, and almost never run out of things to discuss. for people with this personality type, happiness and satisfaction stem from the time they spend with the people they enjoy being with.
weaknesses:
sensitive – entertainers (especially turbulent ones) are strongly emotional, and very vulnerable to criticism – they can feel like they’ve been backed into a corner, sometimes reacting badly. this is probably entertainers’ greatest weakness, because it makes it so hard to address any other weaknesses brought to light.
conflict-averse – entertainers sometimes ignore and avoid conflict entirely. they tend to say and do what’s needed to get out of such situations, then move on to something more fun.
easily bored – without constant excitement, entertainers find ways to create it themselves. risky behavior, self-indulgence, and the pleasures of the moment over long-term plans are all things entertainers get into a little too often.
poor long-term planners – in fact, entertainer personalities rarely make detailed plans for the future. to them, things come as they come, and they rarely bother with taking the time to lay out steps and consequences, with the belief that they could change at any moment – even with things that can be planned.
unfocused – anything that requires long-term dedication and focus is a particular challenge for entertainers. in academics, dense, unchanging subjects like classic literature are much more difficult than more dynamic, relatable subjects like psychology. the trick for tntertainers is to find day-to-day joy in broader goals, and to tough it out with those tedious things that must be done.
yohan is a known happy go lucky, carefree and upbeat guy, so it’s no surprise he’s an extrovert. he’s always been open and friendly, ever since he was young so being an extrovert fits him perfectly. he’s definitely not the type to enjoy conflict and would very much rather turn the other way and ignore it, almost pretend like it’s not happening, even if it’s not the best way to go about things. he’s quite an observant person, despite his energetic personality and joking side, he’s able to sense when things are wrong and if someone is upset or down. along with that, he’s also a very feelings like person, he feels very strongly even if he doesn’t always show it or make it known. he’s quite a bold person, and he’s not exactly afraid to be the first person to do something, whether it’s during training or practice, if there’s a chance to go first then he would happily take it. he’s pretty practical, he’ll use things around him or certain opportunities to improve on himself and his skills, like when he has some free time, a lot of the time he would spend it practicing in order to improve on himself. despite his upbeat personality, he can be pretty sensitive, and surprisingly he doesn’t really show it much. and even though he’s a trainee who hears constructive criticism often, there are times where it can get to him. sometimes when he thinks he’s improved, he’ll realise that he hasn’t improved as much as he thought and feels like he hasn’t worked hard enough, and it does get him down sometimes. however, he tries to use that as a driving force to try harder and improve even more to be better. there are times where he can be unfocused, however when it comes to training, he really tries and stays focused considering his goal is to debut and being unfocused means he’s losing out on valuable time to improve, in his eyes.
hogwarts house: ravenclaw
“ravenclaw is the house renowned for its wit, wisdom and for only accepting the cleverest students.”
ravenclaws possess the traits of cleverness, wisdom, wit, intellectual ability and creativity.
daemon: mustelid
your daemon would take the form of a mustelid! those who have weasel daemons are sneaky and inquisitive people who don't take no for an answer when there's something they want. they aren't afraid of breaking rules to get to where they want and are naturally subtle and cheeky individuals.
enneagram type: the enthusiast
enneagram type seven
the success-oriented, pragmatic type, adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious
sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. they constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. they typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. at their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.
basic fear: of being deprived and in pain
basic desire: to be satisfied and content — to have their needs fulfilled
enneagram seven with a six-wing: "the entertainer"
enneagram seven with an eight-wing: "the realist"
key motivations: want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.
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he’s used to workshops now, however taking part in workshops for the musical made him feel inexperienced, which he was to an extent. his dancing was good, and he had been working on his rapping and singing the last few months, but acting? being able to use his voice theatrically was not something he was familiar with. he feels a little poke on his arm and he spins around quickly, eyes widened slightly when he spots haley. he knew who she was despite them having not met before, and a small quiet chuckle slips from his lips when she bows quickly, yohan following her and bowing back. “i guess we both know of each other, huh?” yohan replies, a tint of humor on his voice, and he’s slightly surprised when she offers to work together, and he’s quick to nod his head. “let’s go, partner. have you done any musicals before? i haven’t, so i feel like i might suck a bit at the acting part.”
haley keeps a smile on her face when yohan replies, giving him a nod. "yes," haley says excitedly. "i've heard a lot about you, from sejun and kiha," she tells yohan. "all good things, of course."
haley hated the way that yohan was unfortunately being perceived after their public shaming. she knew anyone that kiha and sejun admired, was someone who should be held in high standards, so she never questioned his intentions. when she found out from somin, the two had been seeing each other, she felt sad that they were now under full watch like she and kiha are. it was all just bad timing wrapped in silly mistakes to seem a lot worse than it was.
"i haven't done any musicals," haley says, reaching up to scratch her eyebrow. "well, i have but not acting. i played cello in high school and so i sat pit for a lot of them for community theater and i've seen a lot of them. with my dad, in chicago." haley shrugs. she's learned that the trainees can't escape acting and theater is great for learning how to stand on stage. a lot about theater is letting go, getting to be someone else.
"do you like musicals? i always wanted to be in les miserables. it's my favorite. and to be honest, it's more singing than it is acting."
haley hated the way that yohan was unfortunately being perceived after their public shaming. she knew anyone that kiha and sejun admired, was someone who should be held in high standards, so she never questioned his intentions. when she found out from somin, the two had been seeing each other, she felt sad that they were now under full watch like she and kiha are. it was all just bad timing wrapped in silly mistakes to seem a lot worse than it was.
“i haven’t done any musicals,” haley says, reaching up to scratch her eyebrow. “well, i have but not acting. i played cello in high school and so i sat pit for a lot of them for community theater and i’ve seen a lot of them. with my dad, in chicago.” haley shrugs. she’s learned that the trainees can’t escape acting and theater is great for learning how to stand on stage. a lot about theater is letting go, getting to be someone else.
“do you like musicals? i always wanted to be in les miserables. it’s my favorite. and to be honest, it’s more singing than it is acting.”
he was just about to say, he hoped all good things when haley says it and he lets out a sigh of relief. he could imagine them telling her his little habits, like when he would leave his clothes laying around accidentally ( he swears it’s all accidental, he never intends to, but sometimes he just places them down and forgets until sejun starts yelling through the dorm and yohan immediately sinks into his chair or bed ). “i’m glad it’s all good things at least, unless you’re lying to me..?” yohan responds with a teasing tone, corners of his lips curving upwards into a little grin.
yohan wondered whether haley knew about what happened, which she most likely did, considering everyone did. but he wondered if she knew everything, that the person he was seen with was somin. as nervous as he had been lately, he didn’t feel like haley would judge him at all, because in a way, she understood how he felt. it was comforting in a weird sense.
“me neither, actually. i haven’t really acted before either, so i’m definitely probably going to suck, but i’m actually excited for this musical. i just hope i do well.” yohan chuckles lightly, raising his hand to sheepishly rub the back of his neck. “i can play guitar, i self taught when i was younger, but there’s not many opportunities to play it since i’ve been in legacy.” it was a shame, but he hopes that one day he can show his talent with the guitar, because he was pretty proud of himself for teaching it all himself.
“does belle count?” yohan questions. “i’ve seen belle, i really like it, it’s one of my favorites. but i’ve seen like... frozen, mamma mia, footloose, hairspray, those types of movies but i’ve never actually seen one in theatre. how has the voice diction been going for you? i think i’m getting there..”
after the previous trimester, yohan was just excited to get back into the swing of things. truthfully, he did wonder if he would still be on probation or unable to participate in some of the opportunities, so when they announced the new mission, he was surprised. and honestly, he was pretty excited. though he did have one fear - acting. he hadn’t really tried acting before, so he wondered if he would even be any good at it. but that’s what the workshops were for, right? to help work on the skills needed. he had been thinking a lot about what to make his ideal persona, he didn’t want it to be too similar to him because he wanted to show a different side to him, something else he could offer.
the audition part, yohan wasn’t too nervous over. over the last few months, he had been working on his singing and rapping and they were at a level that he was happy with considering the short period he had been working on them for. though he still wanted to improve on them, he didn’t feel like he was as burdened with them compared to before.
in all honesty, the hardest part of it all was solidifying his choice for the persona. making one too similar to him didn’t feel like it would be much different from him, so he wanted to try and branch out. which is why he looked back on all of the things he had seen previous, the types of characters and powers he had seen and read about. and in no way did he want to copy, he wanted his persona to be original to him. it took him a good few days to decide and choose his idea, and he was just a little bit excited to tell.
with the three in front of him, yohan settles and bows before sending them a small smile. “my name is bang yohan,” he starts off before taking a little deep breath. “it took me a little while to decide on my ideal persona, because i didn’t want it to be something similar to me as a person. i didn’t want them to clash with me, so i started to think in the opposite direction. i wanted someone unique too, with maybe a slightly heavier background. i’m pretty outgoing and i’d like to think i have a content group of friends, so i thought that my ideal persona would be someone who’s not the best at making friends. he’s sort of closed off, not because he wants to be but perhaps because he finds it hard. i think deep down, he would want to protect people, i think the possibly of having the desire to really want to protect people comes from the inability to protect those in his past, people that he lost, or maybe just a significant person in his life that he lost and couldn’t protect.” he takes a pause, head tilting ever so slightly as he continues. “i think maybe he would struggle to show that he cares in the usual way people show, so he shows it in other ways, through his actions. but i think, despite wanting to protect people, maybe he’s not the best at it. maybe he wasn’t ever supposed to become a knight, i was thinking maybe whoever he lost was the one who was supposed to become a knight and after losing them, he had to step up, so he’s not as good as other knights but he made a promise to himself.” he wonders if they’ll understand his idea, or if it’s even considered good enough, and he just hopes that they’re at least intrigued by the idea.
“i’d like for him to be able to improve though, maybe because the other knights around him? like a team effort, lifting each other up and helping each other out. i think that would be important to him, especially for development for him. i think it would serve as a sort of redemption for him as well as a big arc, maybe. despite his inability to show that he cares, i think he would try really hard to help, so for his magical power, i thought that power negation would be a good magical power for him, the ability to cancel or stop the abilities of others meaning they can’t use any powers while they’re under his control. but considering he’s not the best or strongest knight, maybe he doesn’t have the best control on it. depending on his strength, it could last from a few seconds to thirty seconds, or a minute, but after he could be pretty weak and unable to use his power again until he gains his strength back.” yohan finishes off with a little pleased and satisfied smile to himself, happy with the way he delivered his ideas. he wanted to show that he had put a lot of thought into his ideal persona, and he hopes that they see it as a good idea, and hopefully can use it in some way. “i hope my ideal persona is interesting.”
yohan could sense that sejun was down. something was bothering him, and considering he knew sejun well, it was screaming at him that something was wrong. he couldn’t see the usual spark in him, and it was saddening to see. he didn’t know what was up, and after the last few months, yohan knew he needed to do something. sejun was there for yohan when he needed someone, he made sure he was okay, kept him company and got him snacks to cheer him up. he was thankful that he had sejun, and he was even more thankful that he was there for him. however, how was yohan’s turn to be there for sejun.
the dorm was eerily quiet, which wasn’t normal. usually it was pretty lively, so something had to be done about it.
looking around the dorm, yohan was on a mission to try and find sejun. he had made sure to change his clothes into more comfy but ready to go out, resulting in a random hoodie that he didn’t actually think was his and a pair of sweatpants. usually, he was able to find sejun pretty quick with the mouth of his, but today he was struggling. it took him a good 5 minutes to find him, only to find him laying on the sofa practically swallowed whole by a blanket.
“hey,” yohan calls out in a quieter tone, softly poking him before slowly pulling the blanket off so he could see his face. “what are you doing?” he asks, curious to why he had pretty much hidden himself beneath the blanket. “are you dressed? i’m getting you some food from 7/11. let’s get some fresh air.” he ushers the other, hoping that he just gives in and lets yohan drag him out. “i’m buying, if that helps.”
it’s a bit funny too, that they have to schedule their calls like this. like they’re penning appointments in at the doctor’s office or something.
when his face fills her screen, somin can’t help the smile that appears on her lips. it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other in person—the notorious bubble tea date that she still has fond memories off, despite everything—and they haven’t had much time to really chat at all since she’s been busy with practice. “hey,” she greets back, keeping her voice low. her earphones aren’t noise-cancelling so hopefully she’ll be able to pretend she’s talking to her brother if anyone comes home.
“how have you been?” she asks, trying still not to think too much into it. after the whole call out thing, she had been genuinely questioning her feelings for yohan. at the time, she had been pretty vehement about not having any feelings for him but now she’s not sure at all anymore. and this was a call on valentine’s day of all days. the struggle.
yohan feels immensely bad, and especially so for getting somin in trouble. he would have thought she would suffer the most out of the two of them, considering she was a debuted idol and had way more to lose than yohan did. however, the staff made it pretty impossible for the two of them to meet, which meant he hadn’t been able to see her since everything had went down and truthfully, he missed seeing her. he missed seeing her face and smile, adoring the little freckle near her eye and making her all shy.
he couldn’t deny that he was a little annoyed that the situation made them unable to see each other, but it was mainly his fault, so he had no one else to blame other than himself. it sucked, but there wasn’t much he could do right now. with somin getting busy, they wouldn’t have had as much time to hang out either way, and yohan was focusing on the workshops all of the trainees had to partake in.
and he definitely didn’t think that they would be unable to see each other on valentine’s day, and it was sad. he had thought about what they could do for valentines day before everything went down and they were unable to see each other. and he didn’t want to risk being seen with her through this time, as hard as it was to admit and face. he had heard that she had her own manager too who was pretty much stuck to her side like glue, so it went out of the window quick. if he was seen with her, no doubt it would get back to the staff and there’s a chance he could be dropped from the company and somin could face worse repercussions.
so instead, they had been talking through texts and calls, and facetime. it was one way to work around the inability to see each other, so at least they could see each other through their phone at least. the moment he see’s her smile, he can’t help but smile automatically back, pleased and happy to see her. the smile on his face doesn’t let up either, and he responds back. “i’ve been okay, getting there.” he replies in a slightly weaker tone. he expects that somin knows he’s a bit down by everything, so he doesn’t feel like he has to tell her straight up how he’s feeling. he didn’t want to bombard her with the intensity of his feelings right now too, instead he just wanted to focus on her and the time they had together while they could. “how about you? i hear you’re getting close with nahee, you better not replace her with me.” yohan teases lightly, a soft chuckle slipping from him. considering it was valentine’s day and he was unable to see her, he still wanted to get her something, even if he couldn’t personally give it to her. so he had figured a way around it without raising much suspicion, so he just hopes that she’s received it in time for the day. “did you get any packages?”
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the thought makes her chest tight. she rubs it, not wanting to freak herself out in front of yohan. those are the thoughts that usually replay in her mind at night ( amongst other things ). between the dorms and actual training, haeun wasn’t getting a break any longer.
she sits next to yohan, knowing that his question was rhetorical more than anything. they were both in the same position — although yohan a little worse. he had been credited with being seen with an idol, no less. and with haeun. it brings her mind to that one meme: damn, double homicide. had she been in a better mood it might’ve made her giggle. but instead she keeps the thought to herself, turning to look at yohan.
“you’ve been taking it rough…have you been taking care of yourself?” all the while her brain wonders what the odds are that they get caught up there. would they punish haeun again since this is the second boy she’s been on the roof with? do they think of her as some floozy, some harlot? a part of her doesn’t care what they think anymore. she’s fed up. “it’s been pretty hard to do anything. it feels almost… wrong now to do anything.”
but she stops short of confessing her consideration of leaving.
not once did yohan think he would be in this position, in a situation like this. he knew being a trainee had it’s limitations of what he could and couldn’t do, but he didn’t think he would find himself in this current situation. he feels stuck, stagnant. he felt like his chances were gone, torn from him and he felt lost. he thought that he would be okay to go out with a female friend, yeah, he was interested in her and maybe did some things that weren’t exactly the most friendly, but he didn’t think he would land in a hot spot like this. it just goes to show that even being a trainee, there were certain things you think you could do that you can’t, or have to be careful with.
he hated being reprimanded in front of all of the other trainees the most. he hated the fact that his private life was outed like that, especially when he had kept it quiet about him and somin and their meetings. heck, he hadn’t even told sejun or kiha, but now they had an idea of where he was those times he wasn’t at the dorm, or why he was so smiley at times and who he was mumbling to late at night on the phone with his headphones in.
it was just hard. difficult, he didn’t know what to do. he felt like he had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn to, even though he knows he has his friends, like haeun, sejun, kiha, but they were also going through their own things too. he didn’t want to be a burden.
but in this moment of time, he’s thankful haeun was there. even if it wasn’t in the best mindset, he had someone around.
he can barely respond to her, because his eyes are just stuck to the ground beneath him. his mouth feels glued shut, and his breathing feels like a shaky mess. uneven, short breath and then deep breath, how did someone even go about things in a situation like this? it was rare for the trainees to get in trouble like this in the company, because they knew to be careful, knew they were being watched. yohan wonders whether things would have been different if he hadn’t been so touchy with somin, or if they had went somewhere more private instead. but there was no use in wondering about things now, because it was done and he had to deal with this new situation he found himself in.
“how is someone meant to take care of themselves in a situation like this?” yohan mumbles quietly, a shell of his usual, happy voice that everyone would hear. it was extremely rare for yohan to feel down, because he was always happy and go lucky, always upbeat. he wasn’t the type to get sad often and if he was, he never made it known. so this, this was a rare occurrence to see him so beaten down. he stays silent for a long few moments, close to a minute before he speaks again. “.. i don’t know what to do.” he says quietly, his fingers latching onto each other and holding tightly as a form of comfort. “i feel like everyone knows.”
perhaps jaesun could be a little too overly confident at times, though he likes to think it’s because he tries to be overly prepared for things as well and therefore has a reason to be somewhat overly confident. however, he’s always had that type of personality too. he doesn’t think he would have survived this many years of being a trainee if he didn’t think he would actually make it. after all, it’s too easy to give up when the end doesn’t seem to ever come.
“yes, that’s true,” he nods his head as he leads them into the studio. “alright, so uh … what did you want to show me then?” he asks curiously, pausing for the other to take the lead. he doesn’t want to seem like the bossy senior or anything like that, so he wants the other to drive the session that they were going to have. he was curious as to what the other was going to bring.
just being in the same space as jaesun, yohan could quite literally feel the confidence radiating from him and he was slightly envious. he had so much experience that yohan couldn’t even compare, and he wouldn’t dare to. but being able to ask for some advice from someone like him who was so experienced and a sunbae to him, he felt extremely thankful. he feels like he could ask him endless questions and walk away with a whole new eager mindset to proving himself, because really, doesn’t every trainee want to make their sunbaes proud in some way?
once they’re situated in the studio, it becomes a little more real what situation he’s in and he’s a little nervous. his lack of experience compared to jaesun’s was screaming at him in his head, but this was an opportunity to get some real, good feedback. and like jaesun had said moments prior, confidence.
“okay so.. i only recently really started practicing singing more because i always focused on rapping, and it’s been a bit hard because i haven’t had much guidance, which is why i thought maybe reaching out to you, you could help. you’ve been in the company for a while and you have lots of experience, and any advice or tips from you as a sunbae would mean a lot.” he shoots jaesun a quick small sheepish smile before clearing his throat, deciding to sing the chorus of dbsb’s ko ko bop to the best of his ability, averting his gaze but with a little pep in his movements, head bobbing along slightly.