one way ticket.

current open plots, give this a like or comment if you’re interested !! updated: 27th april

trainee mission 012

musical acting workshop: @lgchaley ( complete )

project origin audition: solo ( complete )

lgc cafe performances

performance solo: solo ( to be written )

a screen away.

[...]

     “i thought someone had ordered something to the wrong address,” somin admits, laughing a little bit to herself as she had cut the tape on the package prior to climbing back onto the bed. she’s alone right now, considering all of the other members in this room had individual schedules and she could only wish that she would be getting some soon. “which is concerning too, but i’m glad you told me before i tried to like, return it or something.”

     she can feel the anticipation running through her veins and she chews on her bottom lip as she lifts the flaps on the box, trying not to peek inside and ruin the surprise prematurely. she’s also trying not to be too giddy about this, considering that she hasn’t really gotten any presents from boys before, so this kind of feels like a big milestone in her life even if they haven’t really established if they’re anything more than friends. 

     (part of her thinks they must be on that path. why else would he be sending her a present on valentine’s day, right?)

     “okay, tell me when you’re ready and i’ll take it out?”

          it had been hard, incredibly hard lately and the hardest part of it all was not having anyone to really talk to about everything. sure, people knew vaguely that he had been seen hanging out with a debuted idol, but that was it. for all he knew, the other trainees thought he was some kind of punk who tried to leech off her, like it was some way to get ‘higher up’, which certainly wasn’t the case at all. he hadn’t even told anyone about somin yet, not even his room mates, or his best friend haeun. it was hard, but part of him felt like maybe it would be better to keep it quiet for now. he didn’t want it to get out and spread amongst the trainees and the idols, actors and models in the company too. he didn’t want that light on her like that. but now, now he’s just glad they could get this time together with her.

           “i had to make sure it was in your name and nothing could be traced back to me, well, except the payment details but i asked them to remove the invoice.” yohan replies in a sheepish tone, corner of his lips curling upwards into a side smile as he stares at somin through the screen. how was it that even through a screen, she still looked just as pretty?

          he watches intently as she cuts the tape open, his leg bouncing slightly, so he opts to move his phone onto his other knees so the camera doesn’t shake as much. he’s nervous, but also excited for her to open the gift. it was something he had picked out carefully, though it was difficult considering he wanted to buy more than one thing. but he had to remind himself that there would be more times for those. hopefully.

a screen away.

[...]

     but the heart wants what the heart wants, and she blinks at yohan’s face on the screen with a fond feeling in her chest. it’s a shame that they have to stay apart for this, but it’s definitely with their best interests at heart that they don’t go anywhere near each other physically until this all has passed.

     “packages?” she echoes, before her eyes widen. “so it was from you?” somin asks, surprised. “i got a package that i didn’t remember ordering,” she admits, and she tells him to wait, muting her phone and putting it on her pillow as she goes to get the box that she had put on her desk, having been thinking about opening it to check what it was before perhaps sending it back but now that the mystery was solved, she was (probably way too) excited to open it. 

      returning to bed with the package in hand, she unmutes herself and waves the box in front of the camera, grinning brightly. “if i had known it was from you, i would’ve opened it earlier. but i guess this way you can watch me unbox it?”

          the last few months sucked, well and truly, the knowledge that he couldn’t see somin at any point and could only see her through the face times they shared. it sucked, and truth be told, he did miss her a lot. no one knew that the girl he was with was somin, and part of him wanted to keep it that way. not because he was shy, but because he didn’t want it getting out. but then again, after being called out in front of all of the trainees, he wonders if people know he was with somin those times. they all know he was seen with a debuted idol, and after everything went down, part of him wanted someone to confide in about it. he wanted at least one person to know what was going on, keeping it all to himself when part of him wanted to kind of gush about her was a struggle too.

          and yeah, maybe he was a little envious that nahee was spending all of her time with somin. it wasn’t like he could steal her away for even a few minutes to see her, because she was just there. it made him groan and pout like a little kid, because he wished that he was able to see her even just for a few moments.

          he smiles at her response, facial expressing a happy one. “that’s good, i’m a staple in your life then.” his smile widens into a grin, snuffling on his bed to get a little more comfortable. it felt so good to be able to see her again, even if it was just through the screen. and on today of all days, he’s so glad she was able to pick up the phone. he probably, no, he would have been gutted if she wasn’t able to. especially today, and he was hoping that his little present had finally arrived to her. he wanted her to know he was thinking of her, even when they weren’t able to be together, and he hopes that his present and the facetime call on valentine’s day gives her a little hint of how he feels towards her.

          he hopes that they’ll be able to see each other again soon, because it was a bit of torture staying away from her for this long when they had been seeing each other steadily prior, but he knows it’s for the best right now. he most certainly didn’t want her to get into anymore trouble, and he himself didn’t want more eyes on him or a bigger probation, hell, he definitely didn’t want to get kicked out of the company. and knowing that the staff knew he was with somin those times, he figures that they’re wondering just what’s going on with them.

somewhere i belong.

[...]

“but—” she begins, knowing it’s her inner saboteur trying to find rebuttals to yohan’s words. haeun sighs, crouching down and hugging her knees in defeat. “i really feel like these last couple of months have been the hardest they’ve even been. it’s been one thing after another. when is it going to be something that i’m actually good at? i’m tired.”

it’s exhausting feeling like she hasn’t been good enough for the last half a year essentially. they’re almost to june and there hasn’t been a moment where haeun hasn’t been struggling. struggling so much is exhausting. when was her break? when was her time?

“i like disney musicals,” she says. “my favourite is make a man out of you from mulan.” but that was sung by a man for the most part. because it’s so low, she could sing it. would it be good? probably not. “i’ve really gotten into encanto lately too.”

          yohan knew the struggle and stress of trying to improve in such a good time, hell, he thinks that’s why he would push himself so hard. those times where he could have been resting or relaxing, he chose to self practice, to try his hardest to improve and show people that he deserved to be here. he wasn’t some guy who slacked off, even if some people thought that, he wanted to show them that he has talent and that he deserves to be here, to change their opinion and view of him.

          he gives her a look when she starts with the ‘but’, face smoothing out into a softer expression as she sighs. he knew it was hard, and especially for haeun who was pretty much going through it right now. he thought that he had it bad before, and perhaps he did, but he feels like haeun’s got it a little more bad right now. he nods, completely understanding where she was coming from. he felt the same for that trimester, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and had those moments where he wondered if he was really going to be able to overcome it, but he didn’t want to say goodbye to his dream. he wasn’t going to let that happen. “i get it, it’s been really tough the last few months, but try to see it like this, we’re still trainees, you know? we’re here to learn and get better, and even if this isn’t something you feel like you’re going to be good at, you won’t know unless you try, right? none of us are really the best right now, and there’s always room for improvement. but that’s why we’re here, hae.”

a shoulder.

[...]

so sejun’s set on rotting, at least for the next month or so. today, instead of doing anything productive, he’s listening to the same moody frank ocean playlist on repeat. sejun even puts his phone on do not disturb, muting all notifications (except sunhwa, of course), and he’s set on dissociating for the rest of the night.

that is until he feels the blanket slip off his face and feels yohan’s eyes on him. his airpods fall out of his ears with the subtle action, pausing his music and bringing him back into a world he hates right now.

sejun scowls. “i’m meditating, kid,” he says, out of character grumpy for typical na sejun. “practicing mindlessness, it’s the new technique. it’s where you simulate not having a brain,” sejun tells him. he looks down at his evening attire, which is just a plain black shirt and some sweatpants. “not dressed…” sejun says rolling over and closing his eyes. “no fresh air. will eat later.”

          yohan was not enjoying this change in sejun, not one buit. he didn’t like how closed off and reserved he was becoming, because it was so out of his character, and he didn’t like it. he was used to him being chaotic, a source of energy bouncing around in their dorm (along with him, of course,  kiha just had to put up with their endless energy), so to see the sudden downpour was a little bit alarming if he was honest.

          while sejun was there for yohan when he wasn’t at his best, yohan just wants to be able to do that for him, but it’s like.. he didn’t even want it. like he didn’t care to have someone reach out or make sure he was okay. and that alone was enough to have him reach a worried point where if he had to become annoying to get something out of sejun, then he would.

          the atmosphere in the dorm was far from what it usually was, and it was a little bit like you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and the edges of the cut would be all ridged, which is exactly what the dorm felt like right now compared to the usual, chaotic boasting with energy and shenanigans.

          the scowl on sejun’s safe is enough to tell yohan that he just disturbed him in a mood where he did not want to be spoken to or disturbed, brought back to the realist that he was trying hard to avoid these days. the snappy little kid that rolls off sejun’s tongue has yohan’s eyebrows raising in slight surprise, and while he doesn’t take offence to it, he’s a little bugged that however he’s feeling right now has him retorting to this, a different version of himself, one he wasn’t used to and was probably his least favorite version of sejun he’s seen.

personality test open event 005

mbti:  esfp-a, entertainer

“entertainers are spontaneous, energetic, and enthusiastic people – life is never boring around them.”

74% extraverted

59% observant

57% feeling

53% prospecting

64% assertive

          after the previous trimester, yohan was just excited to get back into the swing of things. truthfully, he did wonder if he would still be on probation or unable to participate in some of the opportunities, so when they announced the new mission, he was surprised. and honestly, he was pretty excited. though he did have one fear - acting. he hadn’t really tried acting before, so he wondered if he would even be any good at it. but that’s what the workshops were for, right? to help work on the skills needed. he had been thinking a lot about what to make his ideal persona, he didn’t want it to be too similar to him because he wanted to show a different side to him, something else he could offer.

          the audition part, yohan wasn’t too nervous over. over the last few months, he had been working on his singing and rapping and they were at a level that he was happy with considering the short period he had been working on them for. though he still wanted to improve on them, he didn’t feel like he was as burdened with them compared to before. 

i’m here, with @lgcsejun

          yohan could sense that sejun was down. something was bothering him, and considering he knew sejun well, it was screaming at him that something was wrong. he couldn’t see the usual spark in him, and it was saddening to see. he didn’t know what was up, and after the last few months, yohan knew he needed to do something. sejun was there for yohan when he needed someone, he made sure he was okay, kept him company and got him snacks to cheer him up. he was thankful that he had sejun, and he was even more thankful that he was there for him. however, how was yohan’s turn to be there for sejun.

          the dorm was eerily quiet, which wasn’t normal. usually it was pretty lively, so something had to be done about it.

          looking around the dorm, yohan was on a mission to try and find sejun. he had made sure to change his clothes into more comfy but ready to go out, resulting in a random hoodie that he didn’t actually think was his and a pair of sweatpants. usually, he was able to find sejun pretty quick with the mouth of his, but today he was struggling. it took him a good 5 minutes to find him, only to find him laying on the sofa practically swallowed whole by a blanket.

a screen away.

[...]

     it’s a bit funny too, that they have to schedule their calls like this. like they’re penning appointments in at the doctor’s office or something.

     when his face fills her screen, somin can’t help the smile that appears on her lips. it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other in person—the notorious bubble tea date that she still has fond memories off, despite everything—and they haven’t had much time to really chat at all since she’s been busy with practice. “hey,” she greets back, keeping her voice low. her earphones aren’t noise-cancelling so hopefully she’ll be able to pretend she’s talking to her brother if anyone comes home.

     “how have you been?” she asks, trying still not to think too much into it. after the whole call out thing, she had been genuinely questioning her feelings for yohan. at the time, she had been pretty vehement about not having any feelings for him but now she’s not sure at all anymore. and this was a call on valentine’s day of all days. the struggle.

          yohan feels immensely bad, and especially so for getting somin in trouble. he would have thought she would suffer the most out of the two of them, considering she was a debuted idol and had way more to lose than yohan did. however, the staff made it pretty impossible for the two of them to meet, which meant he hadn’t been able to see her since everything had went down and truthfully, he missed seeing her. he missed seeing her face and smile, adoring the little freckle near her eye and making her all shy.

          he couldn’t deny that he was a little annoyed that the situation made them unable to see each other, but it was mainly his fault, so he had no one else to blame other than himself. it sucked, but there wasn’t much he could do right now. with somin getting busy, they wouldn’t have had as much time to hang out either way, and yohan was focusing on the workshops all of the trainees had to partake in.

          and he definitely didn’t think that they would be unable to see each other on valentine’s day, and it was sad. he had thought about what they could do for valentines day before everything went down and they were unable to see each other. and he didn’t want to risk being seen with her through this time, as hard as it was to admit and face. he had heard that she had her own manager too who was pretty much stuck to her side like glue, so it went out of the window quick. if he was seen with her, no doubt it would get back to the staff and there’s a chance he could be dropped from the company and somin could face worse repercussions.

sense of solace.

[...]

the thought makes her chest tight. she rubs it, not wanting to freak herself out in front of yohan. those are the thoughts that usually replay in her mind at night ( amongst other things ). between the dorms and actual training, haeun wasn’t getting a break any longer.

she sits next to yohan, knowing that his question was rhetorical more than anything. they were both in the same position — although yohan a little worse. he had been credited with being seen with an idol, no less. and with haeun. it brings her mind to that one meme: damn, double homicide. had she been in a better mood it might’ve made her giggle. but instead she keeps the thought to herself, turning to look at yohan.

“you’ve been taking it rough…have you been taking care of yourself?” all the while her brain wonders what the odds are that they get caught up there. would they punish haeun again since this is the second boy she’s been on the roof with? do they think of her as some floozy, some harlot? a part of her doesn’t care what they think anymore. she’s fed up. “it’s been pretty hard to do anything. it feels almost… wrong now to do anything.”

but she stops short of confessing her consideration of leaving.

          not once did yohan think he would be in this position, in a situation like this. he knew being a trainee had it’s limitations of what he could and couldn’t do, but he didn’t think he would find himself in this current situation. he feels stuck, stagnant. he felt like his chances were gone, torn from him and he felt lost. he thought that he would be okay to go out with a female friend, yeah, he was interested in her and maybe did some things that weren’t exactly the most friendly, but he didn’t think he would land in a hot spot like this. it just goes to show that even being a trainee, there were certain things you think you could do that you can’t, or have to be careful with.

          he hated being reprimanded in front of all of the other trainees the most. he hated the fact that his private life was outed like that, especially when he had kept it quiet about him and somin and their meetings. heck, he hadn’t even told sejun or kiha, but now they had an idea of where he was those times he wasn’t at the dorm, or why he was so smiley at times and who he was mumbling to late at night on the phone with his headphones in.

          it was just hard. difficult, he didn’t know what to do. he felt like he had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn to, even though he knows he has his friends, like haeun, sejun, kiha, but they were also going through their own things too. he didn’t want to be a burden.

          but in this moment of time, he’s thankful haeun was there. even if it wasn’t in the best mindset, he had someone around.

          he can barely respond to her, because his eyes are just stuck to the ground beneath him. his mouth feels glued shut, and his breathing feels like a shaky mess. uneven, short breath and then deep breath, how did someone even go about things in a situation like this? it was rare for the trainees to get in trouble like this in the company, because they knew to be careful, knew they were being watched. yohan wonders whether things would have been different if he hadn’t been so touchy with somin, or if they had went somewhere more private instead. but there was no use in wondering about things now, because it was done and he had to deal with this new situation he found himself in.

sunbae!

perhaps jaesun could be a little too overly confident at times, though he likes to think it’s because he tries to be overly prepared for things as well and therefore has a reason to be somewhat overly confident. however, he’s always had that type of personality too. he doesn’t think he would have survived this many years of being a trainee if he didn’t think he would actually make it. after all, it’s too easy to give up when the end doesn’t seem to ever come.

“yes, that’s true,” he nods his head as he leads them into the studio. “alright, so uh … what did you want to show me then?” he asks curiously, pausing for the other to take the lead. he doesn’t want to seem like the bossy senior or anything like that, so he wants the other to drive the session that they were going to have. he was curious as to what the other was going to bring. 

          just being in the same space as jaesun, yohan could quite literally feel the confidence radiating from him and he was slightly envious. he had so much experience that yohan couldn’t even compare, and he wouldn’t dare to. but being able to ask for some advice from someone like him who was so experienced and a sunbae to him, he felt extremely thankful. he feels like he could ask him endless questions and walk away with a whole new eager mindset to proving himself, because really, doesn’t every trainee want to make their sunbaes proud in some way?

          once they’re situated in the studio, it becomes a little more real what situation he’s in and he’s a little nervous. his lack of experience compared to jaesun’s was screaming at him in his head, but this was an opportunity to get some real, good feedback. and like jaesun had said moments prior, confidence.