Client: How much would it cost to print millions of copies?

Me: …

Me: Uh… Okay, well maybe you’d want to start with a smaller quantity and see how those sell first?

Client: This is going to be a big movie someday, so if you have a bulk rate I might as well get that.

Talking to her, it turns out that she does have high level contacts so I start to think maybe she does have a shot at success.  

Until I read her writing. It’s HORRIBLE. the text is full of obvious mistakes, there are full paragraphs without a single comma, there are three characters (3!) with the same name, and the whole story is just so confusing!

Me: Have you considered hiring a professional proofreader or editor? After all, you don’t want to pay and print millions of copies of books that are full of errors.

Client: Oh, there’s no worry of that. I studied English in college.

Me: Uh…

Anyway, she asked me to do the corrections I found to the best of my knowledge and even offered to pay me. I figured why not, signed an agreement, and proceeded to read that thing.

It was worse than I thought. Spelling errors everywhere. She frequently mixed up “their,” “they’re” and “there,” “are” for “our” and once wrote “hors d’oeuvres” as “ordures.” (I guess technically, that was French instead of English). I found so many atrocities in the first chapter it’s unbelievable.

Me: Pardon me, but there are really a lot of errors here. I just read a whole paragraph and couldn’t tell what was going on at all.

Her response?

Keep seeing some posts circulating about popular websites and wanted to make a version for apps.

These are apps I’m way too addicted to. Am I missing any?

P.S. I’m on an iPhone so these are iPhone apps, but probably have an Android version too.

Edit: Sorry for all the time I’ve taken away from your life

Commaful - popular fanfiction, story, and poetry community 👑

Bettr - the reason my friends are jealous of my Insta

Sweatcoin - get paid to walk

Tiktok - coolest videos on the internet (top 10 app in the world)

Spellbound - addictive horror 👻 and romance stories

Helix Jump - legit the most addicting game on my phone

Calm - Award-winning app for meditation and sleeping better

Tenkyu - tilt your phone and watch the relaxing magic happen

Slime Road - bet you can’t hit the bullseye ⚾️

Hempire - become a plant mogul

Dune! - Ride the sand dunes like a baller!! so much fun

Hotspot Shield - free proxy/VPN to bypass school filters

Betternet - free proxy VPN, like Hotspot, try both and see which you prefer

Terrarium - build the ultimate garden empire

Golf Orbit - ever played golf on mars?

Sling Drift - beep beep - level 70 is insane 🚗

1Q - get paid to answer simple questions 

Bee Factory - become a honey tycoon

Wind Rider - fly through a city in a wing suit

Spill it - drop balls and break glass

Fire Balls - shoot balls at obstacles. gets pretty hard

Paper - can you conquer all the territory and win?

Two Dots - a fun puzzle game. easy time killer

Planet Bomber - let’s nuke some planets

Ice Racing - race down a mountain at record speeds

Splashy - bounce the ball accurately to survive. requires focus

Snakes Vs. Blocks - even more fun than the original snake hehe

Twenty48 Solitaire - best toilet game

Knock Balls - shoot down blocks with a canon - surprisingly relaxing

Wishbone - fun game for comparing stuff like hair, celebs, sports

Hole - fuck up a city muahaha

Dosh - get paid to shop

Yarn - stories that are seriously creepy af