Time to tip the scales!

“This is a line of dialogue,” she said.

“This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a speech tag.”

“This is a full sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence.”

“You, mon petit amour, are officially on bed rest.”

Bonus:

Hey everyone, Abby here with another writing advice post! Today I want to talk about something more writing technique-related, and that’s the use of different voice types. The “active versus passive voice” debacle has been on the writing forefront for a while now, with a few debates on whether or not passive voice should be considered acceptable at all. Let’s break it down a bit:

What’s the difference?

“The book was thrown across the room by Nick.”

“Nick threw the book across the room.”

The first sentence is passive. You’ll notice that the subject of the sentence is also the object of the verb. The passive voice often goes unused because this is really just a roundabout way of saying, “Nick threw the book.” It also takes away from the general action of the statement, which is why many writers dislike the passive voice so strongly.

The second sentence — in active voice — is more like something you would read in everyday life. This keeps the action going and keeps the focus on Nick, the subject. The reader’s attention is kept on Nick. Why is he throwing the book? What are the preexisting circumstances? This feeling is harder to replicate in passive voice because the focus is kept on the book, the object of the verb, rather than the subject performing the action.

The Argument

There are a few reasons that some authors feel so strongly against the passive voice:

It takes away from the action of the statement. (This one we went over in the example.)

It clouds the meaning of the statement. We also went over this to some extent in the example. Using the passive voice is usually just a roundabout way of giving an active statement, and that can break up the flow of the writing.

These are the two most common reasons that writers dislike passive voice, but the passive voice isn’t always evil. Sometimes, it’s even preferred to the active voice!

When to use passive voice

If used correctly, the passive voice can enhance your writing in many different ways. Here are some examples of when passive voice may be helpful:

Creating suspense. “Someone threw a book across the dimly lit room.” “A book was thrown across the dimly lit room.” Which one makes you wonder more? The second statement, written in passive voice, creates more suspense. Who or what threw the book? If you don’t know who performed the action, passive voice will be your friend.

Avoiding blame. A downfall of the active voice is that it requires a subject; you need to know who is performing this action. Let’s keep using the same example, now in a different context. Imagine you’re at home and you threw a book, breaking your mom’s favorite lamp; you’ll get in loads of trouble if she finds out. So when she asks, do you say, “I threw a book,”? Probably not. You might use, “A book was thrown,” to confirm that someone threw a book but to avoid placing the blame on yourself.

In essence, passive voice is extremely helpful when you need to avoid stating who performed the action. Passive is not your enemy!

Forming passive voice

Passive voice is formed by using some form of “to be” combined with a past participle. Some examples below:

I was fired.

Last night, someone was killed on the streets.

Tomorrow, this homework will be done.

All three of these are passive because they follow that formula and, more importantly, they omit the agent.

Tl;dr — Remember that passive voice is helpful in some circumstances but not all; an entire novel written in the passive voice may quickly become a headache to both read and write.

Oh boy, there’s so many things you can describe! 

 Think about your character’s appearance and if there’s anything distinctive about a certain trait. Maybe they have an unusually small nose. Maybe they have larger ears that stick out, maybe their eyebrows are incredibly thick. There’s so may different things to describe!

Looking at pictures of other people can really help because you can compare pictures and see how different their features are. Try looking for anything noticeable that sticks out to you as a defining feature. There’s also a number of charts on Facebook that depict the different types/shapes of eyes, eyebrows, noses, etc. I find those incredibly helpful to look at, so it might be worth checking some out!

Here’s a list of things to consider when describing facial features:

Actual structure, like cheekbones; is their face more angular and sharp, or soft? Do they have noticeable cheekbones? Are they high or low? Is the jaw defined or no? Squared or rounded?

Shape of the head; is it ovular? Circular? More squared? Is it long? 

Nose; is it a large or small nose? What is the shape like? Is it hooked? Turned up? Wide and rounded? Thin and pointed? Straight? Crooked?

Eyebrows; consider the thickness and shape. They could be thick or thin, large or small, straight or arched.

Lips; are they large? Thin? Full and plump, or flatter? 

Misc.; does the character have any other noticeable features on their face? Freckles? Scars? Blemishes? Pimples? Birthmarks? Moles?

Eye shape; shape of the eyes can be a little harder to convey, as many eyes are rather similar in shape (some variation of a sideways teardrop shape). Still, you can note if the eyes are more heavy-lidded, if there’s any wrinkles or laugh lines around the eyes, if the eyes are turned up at the ends or down. 

Also, you could include whether your character has a monolid or not (basically whether the crease around the eye is visible or not, this is often seen in Asian men and women, especially Eastern Asian, and Indigenous peoples, though not always, and many other people throughout the world have them as well.) 

***If you have an Asian character and you’re trying to describe their eyes, please take the time to look into how to properly describe them and certain phrases and words that should be avoided. I’ve included a link below about describing “Asian eyes” and the history behind it:

http://writingwithcolor.tumblr.com/post/101967940901/wwc-guide-describing-asian-eyes

One last thing is, you don’t have to spend a large amount of time describing your characters and every single detail on their face. Give your readers enough information to satisfy them, and then allow your readers’ imaginations to do the rest. So totally go ahead and describe your characters, but don’t feel obligated to include a description of every single facial feature of your character.

Here are some charts I found that may give you ideas (note that these don’t include the only types/shapes that are possible, these are just common ones)

Eyebrows

Eye shapes

Face shapes

What they take for granted? Take it away from them.

The one thing they know for certain? Make them doubt it.

Their worst fear? Throw it at their damn faces.

Make their plans fail. Make them cry. Make them question things and fuck up and then learn about them and the way they react in the process. 

1. Have a goal

While it may sound like I’m stating the obvious here, your character needs to have something they want to accomplish. Maybe they want to be the best at something, see a place, fall in love, conquer the world, or something else. Whatever it is, they need to have something that they desire beyond all other things. Ideally, give them more than one goal. Make them have to sacrifice one to achieve the other, to add extra drama

2. Have a reputation

Maybe they’re the best artist in their class or they’re great at juggling. Perhaps they slipped on the stairs in front of their whole village. Either way, give something for the locals to remember about them. That way it can give you a starting point for the interactions with other characters

3. Have a friend

Whether a friend, a coworker, a sibling, an army buddy, or someone they saved, have someone close to your character whom they’re close to and wish well. Yeah, angsty “I have no friends” characters can be fun, but in small doses; eventually the reader gets fed up with them. At the very least the character needs someone to talk to or bounce ideas off of

4. Have a home

It may be a neighborhood they grew up in, their parents’ house, or a room they’ve been renting in a tavern. Hell, it could even be a person if you so choose. Everyone needs to feel secure at one time or another

5. Have a signature item

Now, recognize that this may not work for EVERY character, but it’s up to you to decide what will fit and what won’t. In many cases, it can work. A signature item is something that is recognizably YOUR CHARACTER’S, be it a weapon, a scarf, a toy, or a piece of jewelry. It’s something that makes them feel like themself

6. Have a problem

This should be something other than the problem addressed in the main plot line. Maybe a member of their family is sick, they are broke, or they’re failing their classes. This helps make your character seem more realistic because NO ONE has one problem at a time

7. Have a secret

This can affect the plot or not; either way, it helps make your character more well rounded. Maybe your character can’t read, left their crewmates to die when a kracken attacked their ship, or made their long lost sister run away. If you choose to have it affect the plot in any way, this secret should embarrass your character, make it so that other characters don’t trust your character, or somehow endanger them and the people they’re close to if found out

8. Have a reason to be brave and to fight

Maybe it’s because your character wants to be like their hero, maybe it’s so they can repay a debt (like if someone saved their life previously), maybe it’s for their child, but your character needs to have a reason to occasionally face their fears

I was lucky enough to get a commission from the incredibly talented @nipuni!

Almoners: ensured the poor received alms.

Atilliator: skilled castle worker who made crossbows.

Baliff: in charge of allotting jobs to the peasants, building repair, and repair of tools used by the peasants.

Barber: someone who cut hair. Also served as dentists, surgeons and blood-letters.

Blacksmith: forged and sharpened tools and weapons, beat out dents in armor, made hinges for doors, and window grills. Also referred to as Smiths.

Bottler: in charge of the buttery or bottlery.

Butler: cared for the cellar and was in charge of large butts and little butts (bottles) of wine and beer. Under him a staff of people might consist of brewers, tapsters, cellarers, dispensers, cupbearers and dapifer.

Carder: someone who brushed cloth during its manufacture.

Carpenter: built flooring, roofing, siege engines, furniture, panelling for rooms, and scaffoling for building.

Carters: workmen who brought wood and stone to the site of a castle under construction.

Castellan: resident owner or person in charge of a castle (custodian).

Chamberlain: responsible for the great chamber and for the personal finances of the castellan.

Chaplain: provided spirtual welfare for laborers and the castle garrison. The duties might also include supervising building operations, clerk, and keeping accounts. He also tended to the chapel.

Clerk: a person who checked material costs, wages, and kept accounts.

Constable: a person who took care (the governor or warden) of a castle in the absence of the owner. This was sometimes bestowed upon a great baron as an honor and some royal castles had hereditary constables.

Cook: roasted, broiled, and baked food in the fireplaces and ovens.

Cottars: the lowest of the peasantry. Worked as swine-herds, prison guards, and did odd jobs.

Ditcher: worker who dug moats, vaults, foundations and mines.

Dyer: someone who dyed cloth in huge heated vats during its manufacture.

Ewerer: worker who brought and heated water for the nobles.

Falconer: highly skilled expert responsible for the care and training of hawks for the sport of falconry.

Fuller: worker who shrinks & thickens cloth fibers through wetting & beating the material.

Glaziers: a person who cut and shaped glass.

Gong Farmer: a latrine pit emptier.

Hayward:  someone who tended the hedges.

Herald: knights assistant and an expert advisor on heraldry.

Keeper of the Wardrobe: in charge of the tailors and laundress.

Knight: a professional soldier. This was achieved only after long and arduous training which began in infancy.

Laird: minor baron or small landlord.

Marshal: officer in charge of a household’s horses, carts, wagons, and containers. His staff included farriers, grooms, carters, smiths and clerks. He also oversaw the transporting of goods.

Master Mason: responsible for the designing and overseeing the building of a structure.

Messengers: servants of the lord who carried receipts, letters, and commodities.

Miner: skilled professional who dug tunnels for the purpose of undermining a castle.

Minstrels: part of of the castle staff who provided entertainment in the form of singing and playing musical instruments.

Porter: took care of the doors (janitor), particularly the main entrance. Responsible for the guardrooms. The person also insured that no one entered or left the castle withour permission. Also known as the door-ward.

Reeve: supervised the work on lord’s property. He checked that everyone began and stopped work on time, and insured nothing was stolen. Senior officer of a borough.

Sapper: an unskilled person who dug a mine or approach tunnel.

Scullions: responsible for washing and cleaning in the kitchen.

Shearmen: a person who trimmed the cloth during its manufacture.

Shoemaker: a craftsman who made shoes. Known also as Cordwainers.

Spinster: a name given to a woman who earned her living spinning yarn. Later this was expanded and any unmarried woman was called a spinster.

Steward: took care of the estate and domestic administration. Supervised the household and events in the great hall. Also referred to as a Seneschal.

Squire: attained at the age of 14 while training as a knight. He would be assigned to a knight to carry and care for the weapons and horse.

Watchmen: an official at the castle responsible for security. Assited by lookouts (the garrison).

Weaver: someone who cleaned and compacted cloth, in association with the Walker and Fuller.

Woodworkers: tradesmen called Board-hewers who worked in the forest, producing joists and beams.

Other medieval jobs included:

tanners, soap makers, cask makers, cloth makers, candle makers (chandlers), gold and silver smiths, laundresses, bakers, grooms, pages, huntsmen, doctors, painters, plasterers, and painters, potters, brick and tile makers, glass makers, shipwrights, sailors, butchers, fishmongers, farmers, herdsmen, millers, the clergy, parish priests, members of the monastic orders, innkeepers, roadmenders, woodwards (for the forests). slingers. Other Domestic jobs inside the castle or manor:

Personal atendants- ladies-in-waiting, chamber maids, doctor.

The myriad of people involved in the preparation and serving of meals- brewers, poulterer, fruiterers, slaughterers, dispensers, cooks and the cupbearers.

Writing With Color – Featured Description Posts

Some of our most useful posts on describing People of Color, all in one place.

Words to Describe Hair

Words to Describe Skin Tone

Describing Asian Eyes

Describing Wide Noses

Describing Undead & Sick Dark Skin

Describing POC and Avoiding Caricatures

Describing Unnatural Skin Tones: Green

Describing Unnatural Skin Tones: Jaundice

Indicating Race of Characters (FAQ Questions #3-4)

Not Indicating Race at All – Note: You Probably Should

Praising Beauty Without Fetishizing

Olive Skin, Race and Ethnicity

Specific Description Posts  

Describing Skin as Swarthy (Spoiler alert: it’s sketchy)

Describing East Asian Skin as Porcelain (Spoiler alert: it’s also sketchy)

Describing Skin as Russet (Spoiler alert: it’s alright)

Describing PoC as Exotic (SA: it’s othering)

Describing Skin as Ebony (SA: it’s cliche)

Describing Natural Hair as Cloud-Like (SA: it’s cool)

Describing Black Hair as Unkempt (SA: it’s offensive)

Describing Black Hair as Kinky (SA: it depends)

Describing Skin as “Dark as Night” (SA: it also depends)

Describing Skin as Like Dirt or Soil (SA: See above)

Describing Skin as just “Dark.” (SA: it’s vague)

Describing Black Hair as “Nappy” (SA: it ain’t recommended)

Describing Skin With Food (SA: it’s a no-no)