there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

We need more women characters who are Male Protagonists. You know. Slightly haggard. She's splashing cold water on her face and gripping the edge of the sink staring in the mirror for a minute. She's coping badly with her deadwife

DID YOU KNOW that sometimes characters lie. out loud to others and internally to themselves, and it'll happen right there on the page. other times they are just flat out wrong and don't know it. oftentimes they don't ever find that out. a sizable portion of any story is decidedly not cold hard fact.

“hallelujah” by leonard cohen being played as an easter and christmas song, “zombie” by the cranberries” being played as a halloween song, and “born in the U.S.A.” by bruce springsteen being played as a Fourth of July/generic us patriotism song have got to be a special trifecta of the most no-listening-comprehension musical moments that happen on seasonal playlists every single year 

please i need him to die on 4th of july gaudy as fuck 'america 250' celebration that would be the funniest thing ever i wouldn't even bitch about the fireworks. i wouldn't even do that.

pls god where is the fourth of julie goodbye 2007 hello 2008

in the searched field. straight up "homoing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My sapients

sorry liberals, there are only three sexualities: homo, pan, and gorilla

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister