I haven’t used this account and this app in over and year (probably), until I decided to open it and read something. I was going through the old posts when this one caught my attention; it’s not one of the newest ones but I can’t stop thinking about it.
Last april I finally decided to begin a mental journey for my own health, and the last discovery I made was that I actually exist. Because of my parents, and all the adults around me, I grew up in silence, always worried to make noise, to the point that I actually forgot I had a life, I was a life, and I still am.
Going back to these posts, knowing at the time I was asking to be heard by someone who always ignored me makes me so sad and angry. Sad because I’m still paying for that time, still fucked up because I was ignored. Angry because I was a child who just wanted to be loved by her parents.
In this long journey, I’m learning that I didn’t deserve it, none of us do. We all deserve to be protected and heard, so we don’t end up thinking we’re just a shadow, but people.
“I exist” means is the first step to the total control on our own life, no matter if they want to hear us, because we’re going to talk anyway, loud and clear.
I don’t think someone is actually going to read this but I want to say to all the young people ignored by their family: it wasn’t your fault. They had to take care of you and they failed, but one day you will take care of yourself and you’ll make you the happiest you’ve ever been. You can do it. Just breathe and remember that you exist.
germansingergirl
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origamiaround
romaincrisis
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