Writing From My Feelings

I was watching apothecary diaries (FINALLY), just for this photo to pop up on my tiktoks FYP! I fear Xavier looks more like what I’d imagine if Jinishi then Rafeyal though Rafeyal acts more like him. From my analysis Jinishi and Xavier do have a lot in common. Both growing up royalty and having repressed emotions, secret identity, and the tendency to act immaturely despite their ranks or status (wether Xavier’s in hidden or not)

Both men are extremely possessive, and typically look for and follow their girls around EVERYWHERE they can. I think Jinshi acts like both men but Xavier is who he would look like and probably have the most emotion depth with. Still it could go the other way around as Rafeyal was also raised with a great deal of responsibility only Rafeyal doesn’t seem to mind. Where as Xavier and Jinshi resent their lives and the people they’ve had to be up until they meet their girls.

Xavier has a very controlled (like the rest of him) dirty mind. Yet when he does get the opportunity he has no problem letting you know what he’s thinking.

Xavier’s values aren’t clear, as he was raised to value philos and is known to be a character that constantly fights his duty and what he wants and just swaps between the two randomly. He doesn’t even know them which is what makes it so easy to be so nonchalant all the time.

The prince of philos can be attracted by giving him the pennie method. If you like him! Make it known, then act like you don’t even know him. He’s used to being neglected but praised for things that he doesn’t even know are truly him so if you give him attention just because and then take it away he’s putty in your hands.

Xavier is definitely the type to learn you like his hands and learn card tricks or pen tricks just to get your attention. Or just touch you more often in general. He will milk anything that will keep your attention on him.

If you have any sort of mental health issue, or health issue in general best believe that man is studying it. Buys at least three books on it that same hour after you tell him.

Is very serious with everything, even his insults and teasing. If he insults somekne it’s not going to be emotional it will be facts and it will never be anything he can tell the person can’t help + he only does it when your involved. When he’s teasing it so subtle that you don’t know he was teasing unless you play back conversations (like I do lol) and will make you kick yourself for not realizing he was joking or flirting in the moment.

He punches your plushies. Infront of you. And if you try to turn them around during sex he’ll turn them back. “Let them watch”

Actively eats your left overs. It started with just him asking if you wanted it, now he’s come to gauge when your done and he’ll just eat then right from under you.

Xavier tells you all the things he notices about you that you don’t notice. He wants to know what ever little mannerism and habit means!

Throws his head to the side and pouts whenever you insist on having a conversation with anyone he doesn’t trust or like and doesn’t hesitate to glare. You have to smack him and it still doesn’t draw him out of it. Some of your friends thought the pout was cute till it turned into the glare

I just want to know what you think of them as yandere and what you think are their training methods for their beloved.

Yandere LADS Xavier! Nonmc!

Warnings: obsessive/possessive behavior, gaslighting, justifying murder (xaviers end), dubcon, manipulation.

What kind of Yandere is he?

Xavier as a yandere is not much different than his normal persona. He's calm, collected, controlled and so is everything around him. He has the patience of a saint, the face and voice of an angel, and the mind of a weapon (since he was raised to be one almost).

Yandere Xavier is just as jealous and possessive, only he doesn't let that person interfere again. He also makes sure when they disappear that it never gets back to you or him in anyway. Yandere Xavier is just as much of a wolf in sheeps clothing, the only difference is instead of just grappling with his guilt and his morals like in the original game, he now grapples with an obsession he knows is wrong.

Yandere tendencies

Leave gifts at your door and windowsill without approaching you. chocolates, vouchers, money, stuffies, nothing too extreme but whatever he has or picked up for you.

Stalks you with most of his free time. He's still trying to convince himself that he is justified, he's just keeping you safe! if he's not sleeping, working, he's hot on your tail. Even if he's doing something random for someone, he always finds his way back to you.

Has a whole journal full of things about you. Your favorite foods, your favorite songs, your routines, places you go (even if it was just one). Even your period and other people in your life. He also has pages in these journals that are dedicated to his darker thoughts of wanting to keep you to himself. He just gets so caught up in the moment.

Doesn't take pictures or break in! remember dude has MORALS! but anyone who crosses your path that he thinks could cause a threat or hurt HIS plans for you will not see the light of the next day. That is a promise he has secretly made to himself.

More than happy to be honest about how fucked up he is! he wants to talk about it, with YOU though. He wants to tell you all about his ideas of taking you away and starting a beautiful life together, but he's afraid you'll hate him. Still doesn't talk about it even after he kidnaps you unless you draw it out of him.

Hates talking about himself, you will have to force him. If you ask him something he will immediately deflect it to you, he wants you to consume him, if it isn't surface level prying he won't say anything until he knows he can trust you fully (by you behaving).

What is he like when training?

STRICT! this man is strict! I mean whiteboard with your chores and the punishments and rewards listed out STRICT! (if he kidnaps you). He gives you chores because he wants to keep you motivated. He was raised a prince, I like to believe he knows how to properly punish others.

Forced proximity is one of his favorite punishments! you want to scream kick and cry? thats perfectly fine but once youve tired yourself out you have earned yourself a whole day cuffed to him. That means sitting in his lap while he games, following him around while he tends to the garden, showering with him, sleeping in his room, going to the bathroom with him. RIGHT THERE. The whole time he'd just look so unreadable and try to tease you or tickle you but he's more than happy to sit in silence as long as you're there!

Corner/ time out. When you're feeling especially feisty and he's too tired to punish you properly be prepared to stand in a vacant corner of his bedroom while he naps. If you can't do that he'll take a page from Caleb's book and put bells on you. But your going to be stuck in his room with nothing to do either way.

SPANKING, this could lead to something more intimate BUT he's serious about his punishments, so he's not giving up halfway through just because he can see your ass. You get all your strikes then he'll think about other activities.

He uses his awareness to manipulate. When he does open up to you he will insist he knows what he's doing is messed up but if he could help it you both wouldn't be in this situation would you? He'd get all puppy eyed and whiny if you refuse to cuddle him or insult him. Because as far as he knows he's just doing this for love, even if its fucked up your certianlly not making it any better by still resisting him. Would totally pull the " I really wish I had a kiss goodbye to make me happy to go that way I don't die fighting and you rot here" or " So i bought you all that stuff and your just going to ignore me, one kiss please all I ask, no more"

Yandere Xavier is definitely coercing or trying to seduce you into his web. Imagine a long day of being forced near to him and working in the garden, He's shirtless because it's less hassle to jump straight into the shower he says. After you're done he's covered in dirt and sweaty and panting like a dog from digging in the hot sun and chopping wood. He notices you looking a little too long and grins at you. " Idle hands make idle work" he teases without stopping his task. Or During one of your lower days where you just don't know what to do, he kisses you by surprise but doesn't say anything about it, and is just so sweet to you the rest of the day. Holding you and cuddling.

All that frustration he couldn't get out during your first couple of days? Yeah, when he finally catches you at your lowest he's exploiting it and giving it back to you tenfold and in every position he wants. He wouldn't straight-on force you, he'd want you to agree to it at some point, whether it's just a nod or a kiss back, and then he just won't stop. His hand will be all over you as he warns you he won't be going easy on you and how much he loves you. He also wants you to come to him, he has no problem initiating, but it feels so much better to have to have you want him too. Whether it is just your eyes lingering too low on his sweats, or you giving him an inch. MAN needs to give you ALL the INCHES.

Definitely an " I thought you wanted this?" and a " But you love me don't you?" even if he baited you into giving in to him he won't let you go once he's got you in his arms. Yandere Xavier is either 100% or 50%. He wants to fuck you like a wild animal, face down, meanest face ever, with positions that will force you to constantly be looking at his condescending face as he makes you feel so good. Or 50% where he wakes up horny and doesn't care how you're laying he's getting some action, or he's so mad he makes you do the work. Makes you pleasure yourself by using him.

Waking up with one leg trapped underneath him and the other over his waist as he hunches into you.

“ good morning little star~” he’d smirk as he immediately switched positions. Laying you on your back and climbing over you, one of his legs keeping one of your spread and the other holding your opposite legs thigh open. His free hand gripping your throat to keep you on place as he rests his head ontop of yours on the pillow. His thrusts deeper and more punishing now that he knows your awake. He too big and to mean to care that all you can see is his chest and neck. Gripping onto his night shirt.

“Please Xavier” you plead as his pace picks up his breathing low and constant. You swear he might have fallen asleep again, despite his hips pounding like crazy. “ please what star?” He’d growl chasing his own high and damn near close. Not being able to stop himself from loving how needy you are despite only just waking up. “ I wanna-i” you aren’t able to get a word out as he goes even faster. His thighs smacking against yours and a low growl coming from his throat as he closes his eyes.

“No” he warns. It’s one word but it speaks volumes in his calm eeriely still quiet voice “

OR

giving Xavier head in his sleep, only to take it a step further and climb ontop of him, sliding his slippery wet cock inside you as you start to ride him, only for him to wake up. At first he looks so cute and confused, then his eyes darken as he grabs your neck.

“I didn’t realize you where this needy” he’d ask as his free hand stops your hips from moving. His eyes checking out your body as the hand travels up and grips your breasts.

“ did you want to have sex? Or just use me” he’d ask while you try to regain your composure from getting caught. Until you feel a sharp thrust from underneath you. His tip touching the right spot that makes you squirm.

“What’s your answer?” He’d questioned his voice heavy and louder as he’d glare gently at you. His hand grabbing your arm and pulling you back even if you only moved a few inches.

“ I-i want too”you’d whine driving him crazy. His hand with a bice grip on your arm would go down to your waist. While still holding your throat he’d give you the best ride of your life. His hips instantly pounding upward until he can’t feel his legs anymore. Even then he doesn’t stop though.

“ what a slutty star I have” he’d tease “ do I not pay you enough attention already?”

Just my take on Xavier and his character so far for my LADS girlies, He is the 3rd deepest character in LADS in my opinion next to sylus and then Rafeyal but also my favorite.

The wolf in sheep's clothing vs. the awkward coworker

He's not boring, he is very composed, calm, and good at hiding his true emotions behind a neutral face.

I hate seeing all the comments about him being boring, because to me (someone that likes sociology and psychology) he is far from it. He started sword training at the ripe age of 3 and has been pushed into his role of being the heir to the throne since then. From his awkward, quiet, and composed demeanor I believe he is confident only because of his title. Other than that, he's probably been made to feel like not enough for his sole purpose or made to feel embarrassed or ashamed for wanting a normal childhood (always having bodyguards around him when him and MC first meet). This is reflected in his possessive behavior where he thinks he's not good enough so MC will find someone else, or his intent on being MC's first everything and asking her to only do certain things with him in the game. This could also be because he probably lost his virginity to MC before he left, and while helping him escape his guards, she helped him have his firsts of fun and childish wonder. He associates firsts as all they had despite knowing MC had a thing for him.

The only times I've seen him even slightly lose face (so far) is when MC is in danger and he is about to kill his crew mate for hunting her down, the no restraint card, and he slipped a little in a tender moment when his date with MC didn't go as planned but he VERY quickly pulled it together. He RARELY gets out of character.

Xavier has admitted in school he never bothered with subjects he didn't like, deciding to just sleep or ignore them. I believe in some way he was acting out and when he realized even then he would still be pushed into the throne he gave up. He was aware of his title but still tried to do wrong to see if he would get any sort of attention or punishment, which showed a distorted sense of right and wrong. While the right thing to do would be to do well in school Xavier gave up because he realized he'd never be punished because of his title.

2. Xavier is full of emotions, and he lets them out through philanthropy.

Xavier shows himself as a very controlled man to the world, but if you look closely, you'll notice his lack of control makes him take jobs like being a hunter/ and Lumiere. Xavier became a hunter probably because he is the reason wanders are on earth to begin with (the backtrackers bringing them when they came), but as for being Lumiere its deeper. Having had no control of anything in his early life he chooses to take out that frustration (and MC's death), on people he deems to be morally wrong as well as wanders (some that is). Fighting being what he was born to do, has become a coping mechanism along with sleeping away his problems. He neglects his health and tends to only take time for philanthropy and MC and things to better himself for her. He admits he never really acts out on his anger and just pretends to not be. But I think he is constantly fighting what he wants vs. what he knows he should do. I believe the guilt for not returning to his timeline's MC eats at him despite having her int he current timeline. So he tries to bury it under good deeds.

3. Xavier also uses sex to cope

Need I say more? It's canon that this man is only focused on three things. Killing wanders, Mc, and sleeping. It doesn't even seem like he's trying to get back home, and that guilt is enough to keep anyone awake. His no restraint card proves this point; he even points out who he chooses to use to calm himself down. I'm not saying he's going around screwing anyone. I do believe he sticks to solo till he got back to MC, but I feel like it is something that isn't talked about enough. YES, he is a freak in the sheets, but what is he trying to get out that he can't say in words? I believe Xavier is a hypersexual person by nature, but sometimes guilt can push it too far (speaking from experience) even if he's not running to other people for it.

An example would be when he finds MC's bead in his tender moment while at the hot spring; he wants a reward, and when he thinks the reward isn't good enough, he gets a bit frisky despite being in semi-public. Even if he seems composed when it comes to his stress relief, he takes intimacy just as seriously as fighting wanders. He also has no problem manhandling MC in a lot of the tender moments or in the secret moments. Despite not showing his emotions or building up to what he wants, he goes straight for it. An example is how he throws MC on the couch after she pinches him, but he was expecting a kiss, and he was intent on getting one until she rejected it.

4. Xavier is manipulative (learned from childhood) because he believes MC is the one thing he should have to himself.

I genuinely believe that because he's a prince, he feels like he owes his kingdom his entire being. That means his time, his attention, his children (an heir), but one thing he does not owe them is her. She is the one thing he has to himself in his mind. A great example of his manipulating and possessive behavior is the call he gets from MC after he blows out the streetlamps because she was talking to her friend for too long. He doesn't hide he's jealous, just mildly dismisses it. Even so, he helps her because he loves that he was her first choice, and he knew he would be because of his evol. He made sure he caused a problem that no one could fix but him. That she would remember the night he used his evolve to guide her home and watch over her like an angel from heaven. I believe if she hadn't asked for his help, he would have still sent the ball and watched over her.

Other examples that are milder is in the main story when MC wakes him on the train by accident, he admits he is really hungry despite them both being barely acquainted. I do not believe Xavier would have done that with someone like Jenna or Tara. Or in his kitty card he doesn't want MC to leave so he lists off all the bad things he could do to hurt himself, as if he's not smart enough to know better. Using the big doe eyes that he probably learned worked really well as a kid and he's just kept the habit going to get his way.

Now I'm not saying Xavier is all manipulation and conniving behavior BUT, it is a big part of his character that a lot of what he shows us is to get what he wants. He will probably never show us those negative emotions just because unless he feels safe. He very much gives the "men don't cry" energy expect its " princes don't cry". I believe if you really wear him down a LOT and possibly scare him to get him to that point.

5. His love language is physical touch and quality time above all else.

Xavier COVETS his time with you; it's just his. When you're with him, you don't need to be with anyone else. He's proven this in tender moments, in cards, and in the main story. When he's spending time with you, you're spending time with him. It's you are spending time with him that makes him crazy. Whether it's just sitting in one of your apartments, sitting on the phone, playing a video game, or cooking, anything is good enough for him. You wanting to be around him when the rest of his family has always been so distant will always be enough. I genuinely believe he is a play-fighting, cuddling, indoor, soft, and small dates kind of guy. He plans them thoroughly when it's his turn and will hold your things for you while you both go through the motions. He isn't big on fancy restaurants or crowded places because he wants one time with you.

6. Xavier is goofy and petty, but it's because of his childhood.

Especially in Xavier's tender moments, you see his true personality shine through. My favorite example of this is when he pretended to be a bird to ask MC for a reward for finding her bead. Or when MC was drunk and couldn't say her feelings without communicating through a doll, and he didn't bat an eye at her and actually played along. He wants to be her safe space as much as she is his. He then jokingly mentions it but doesn't further tease MC because what they spoke about was serious to their relationship, even if she doesn't remember. Despite having lived so long, he's still trying to reclaim his own childhood. He's finding that voice he never got to have when he was younger. Despite it barely being noticeable because he stays calm through it like it's nothing, it's definitely there. His being petty is evident in how he refused to help MC after bursting the streetlamps because she talked to another guy, just to do it anyway. Or in one of his tender moments where they are battling for MC's new oven, and Xavier eggs her on by audio ably deciding what to make. Even in another one where she gushes over an actor, and he quotes her exact words and proceeds to hate on the guy for a good two minutes.

7. Xavier is the "perfect" boyfriend but he's also very damaged.

He's very stoic, and it's hard to get much of any reaction out of him, but he's more than willing to plan a date time by time, event by event, just for MC. But his character also means that he needs someone who doesn't mind taking care of him back. He needs someone he can rely on and trust despite not being very trustworthy himself. In the end, he's just learned some very bad behaviors and coping mechanisms. But hides behind his whole " good but unfeeling" shield like a true knight. Meaning that when he does snap, he snaps in over a long period. Maybe he sleeps more, he's crankier, he neglects his health even more. This means he needs someone willing to look at him, someone that's supposed to be their rock, and be his. Though he will act confused and disinterested the first few times, he will slowly play along when he realizes there's no catch.

I am obsessed with Xavier from LADS, and I wanted to give my own take on Xavier

Not proofread lol MDNI!!!

You and Xavier meet by coincidence; maybe you bump into him while he's doing some work at a friend's shop or out in public. He's smitten and teases you and helps you clean up or find what you need.

The type that will hold you on Facetime and want to sleep on the phone immediately when the sparks start flying. "You've got me hooked on you just to take yourself away?" " What else do you have to do right now?" He'd asked with a pouty look as he tilted his head at his phone while making ramen.

For your first date, he plans it, reading somewhere online that women love men that take initiative. He plans every detail from the moment you leave the house to when he'll have you back home. You just have to get ready.

You're his home screen for his phone, and he takes any excuse to take a picture of you.

Eye contact KING will sit and stare into your eyes for hours if he could. Wants to see into your soul.

Has a notes app full of things about you. Favorite color, birthday, your orders at your guys' favorite food places. All until he commits them to memory.

Likes to spin you around and admire every outfit you put on. It could be his shirt after a long night or a beautiful sundress on a hot day.

Will BEG you to come over and cook with him. " I mean, I could do it while you're on the phone if you want to watch me blow my apartment up."

Takes you to his favorite hotpot place where he doesn't let you lift a finger. He cooks all your meat and even places it on your plate.

"Let me; I know how to cook it perfectly through." "It's hot; be careful. Here, I'll get it for you."

Will let you order two things that you want and take the one you don't want as long as it's something he's willing to eat (he eats everything)

Loves being needed, loves being your hero. Won't bring it up, but when you acknowledge him with appreciation or praise, he will blush and try to play it off. Even if it makes him swell with pride to be of use to you.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't?" "Anything for you, darling."

Sleepy make-out sessions after naps. His lips leave tiny kisses on your shoulder and neck to wake you, his hand gently rubbing your tummy as he spoons you in closer. Once you're awake, he'll turn you towards him, and his lips are all over you.

Slow and deep kisses that have you both panting afterward.

Doesn’t mind kissing you with product on your lips, his lips are almost always chapped, so he doesn’t mind sharing the product. Even if it’s lip gloss or he all of a sudden has a bright pink lip combo.

Reads to you from his favorite books about space and galaxies. Will even read your favorite works to you as well! The kind of Boyfriend who pulls you into his lap when you're upset and just read.

He would love it if you read to him too to help him sleep after tough missions or days! Or even just because.

LOVES teasing you, whether that means leaning in to kiss you just to stare at you instead of actually giving you one or grabbing your waist or shoulders in very suggestive placements in public.

The type of boyfriend to watch you dance in the kitchen to your playlist and join after you ask. Throwing himself around with you with the widest smile on his face. Only because he knows it'll be an amazing nap one you guys have waltzed and thrown your heads around for a couple of minutes. Even lets you stand on his feet as he glides (dude is graceful).

Practically lives at your place and vice versa; he wants you all in his space. Your hair stuff is in his bathroom. Your clothes in his drawer; hell, he'll even take some of your Plushes on the couch.

Learns how to do your hair! Wether its curly or coily Constantly asking you questions and recommending products that he hears are popular.

If your hair is coily or curly, he loves watching the curls bounce and will pull at them and BEG you to show him how you do your baby hairs.

"Is your hair low porosity or high?" "What does 4C mean?"

If it's wash day, he'll try to help to give your arms some time to relax. Constantly have to ask him not to touch your hair, but he gets all pouty.

"But it's so soft."

The type of boyfriend who gets is " I don't trust others" jealous, not "I don't trust you" jealous.

The first night you spend the night, it's planned after so long of holding himself back. He lotions and oils you down, making sure you're comfortable and giving your whole body his love.

I haven't heard anyone talk about this, but I feel like Xavier would love play-fighting. Seeing as he loves using his strength against MC (pinning her, holding things out of her reach) in the cards, I think he'd be all over it. There's even an interaction where the MC pretends to shoot him, and he plays along. Dude is down for play fighting; he's all for it.

"Don't run now." " I have to punish you"

Loves foreplay just as much as actual sex and will probably take the opportunity to dry hump. In his sleep, pinning you while play-fighting, while your cooking? It's never enough to satisfy either; he'll just do it in passing. Then give you an innocent look.

" I was just adjusting" or " did you like that?" all while his blue eyes would get big and then sink in a pout.

Firm believer he doesn't need actual sex; he'd be perfectly content with a heavy make-out session and dry humping. Feeling you in his arms and rutting against you is perfectly fine for him.

That whole "normalize putting your girlfriend in the corner" trend. Yeah, I feel like he would actively participate. If you do something he doesn't like, he's turning you around and marching you straight into the first corner. He talks too much about punishment.

I think Xavier is for the girls who didn't get to have a childhood, either, or the girls who are hyper-independent but want to be someone's priority for once and be taken care of. He plays that role perfectly.

Hides his feelings all the time; it takes a lot to get them out of him, especially if he's in a bad mood. He's always too consumed with making sure you're okay, and he sometimes forgets he has to be happy with you. When he's upset, it's not too obvious, but there are signs. Be prepared to baby him while he just stares off like he doesn't love it but is slowly melting.

Will pout and try to tease you but in the end play along and let you baby him this once. (It’ll happen again)

Obsessed with your entire being, always asking new questions and wanting to do new things with you.

The kind of boyfriend that won’t let you fall out of your routine. Even if he’ll want to be apart of that routine (permanently) he’ll ask you about your day and want you to go in detail and if he notices you didn’t do something you normally do he’ll ask.

Will work his way into your schedules without disrupting, so don’t be surprised if he just so happens to be walking past your job or school at the exact time your free.

Will ask you to buy cloths far to big and sleep in them so you both can swap cloths easier (even matching couples hoodies), and he can smell you on long missions away instead of just having you on the phone at night.