If You're A Server You Understand

When that one dude comes in with his fucking entire office and sits for 3 hours including the rush on his fucking computer making graphs and orders nothing but water?!! Like tf that's all I ever see boi go do graphs in your car and get tf outta my booth!!!

Me forgetting we have an open kitchen at our restaurant, and having the remind the rest of the staff to shut the fuck up so the customers don't hear us destroying their hopes and dreams

Hearing Dancing Queen by Abba for the 13th time during your 8 hour shift.

had a table of 5 “out of towners” today, offered to sign them up for our restaurant’s loyalty program to save them a sum somewhere around $10 off their $50 dollar check. they said no, had no complaints the entire meal, and when they left i saw those bastards tipped me $2.00 ON A $51.00 CHECK. 

*customer yells across restaurant for your attention*

"Can I see your gluten free menu?"

Coming home after a double and sitting down for the first time in 9 hours

When u had a good comeback to one of ur tables and u go back to the kitchen and all ur coworkers heard u spit testaments

"Hey could you take my shift on--"