Welcome, Welcome

customer complained that their ice cream melted too fast…

sequel to this ig, customer was so upset about the portion size (same amount as cone amount) that she went to take a picture and send it to “corporate”

yes

I think we as people who have periods should be able to expel it rapidly all at once like peeing. There's a whole untapped potential out there. I'd let it all go in the back of a police cruiser

we should be able to shoot the blood out of our eyes as a defense mechanism. Like the horned desert lizard

Diversity win! The creepypasta haunting your Minecraft world is trans!

‎

going into the Headcanon bin

My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.

every time we serve chicken at work i think of this post

THIS IS GOLD

oh m god please watch the video it’s some of the most contagious laughter on the planet

When I saw this cross my dash tonight, I smiled and thought “yess, the chicken chicken chicken post, I get to reblog it again and inflict it on all of the people that have followed me since last time”, and then I scrolled down more and to my utter delight there was A VIDEO, needless to say my night has been made

I love that he was absolutely 100% prepared for a question in chickenese.

I would name my child grub grub and he would be a freak

I would name my child Grenda 2: the Sequel

I would name my child Dequavious Toothstump DinglePork Douglas

you would make such a good mother