really holding space with that

i want them to talk.

now hear me out! i still want a crescendo of violins overlaying a beautifully shot pinnacle!

i just think there is a really great opportunity to capture something that i find all women experience but stands out a lot to queer women. before i was with partners who i felt comfortable enough to talk to, it felt like i was thrust on stage to play a role of a character whose story i know, but whose lines and blocking were never taught to me.

i don’t want or need a full conversation in the bedroom, but there is something so incredibly safe and erotic about asking what someone wants, telling someone how good they feel, asking for more—about women seeking pleasure and demanding it from a willing and enthusiastic partner intent on providing.

so i crave a scene where, of course, francesca whispers into michaela’s gasping mouth, ‘tell me something wicked…’

i want michaela to tell francesca to remove her dress, slowly, as her eyes devour her.

i want, ‘you’re perfect,’ to almost escape francesca’s mouth when she sees michaela’s body bare for the first time (and every time after).

i want francesca to nervously bite her lip so michaela pulls away just slightly to look at her, to search her face, gently stroke her brow to watch the muscles relax, and, rather than ask if she wishes to stop or continue, say, ‘would you like to stay like this for a moment?’ with such a gentle smile francesca aches as if her heart is trying to reach toward michaela.

i want francesca to shake her head and say, ‘no, i would like you to kiss me again.’

i want a soft chuckle from michaela as she moves her kisses from francesca’s lips to her jaw down to her pulse, ‘you must remember to breathe, darling,’ followed by another small laugh as she feels francesca inhale, then soften and melt into the bed and her touch on her exhale.

i want that first gasp at that first touch.

i want that, ‘you feel so good,’ to be said with reverence, that ‘michaela—’ to escape francesca like a woman on the brink of discovery, that ‘you’re so close—i can feel you,’ to be mostly moaned, that ‘please,’ to be desperate and quickly followed by, ‘ther—that!’ another discovery like a lightning strike.

i want ‘michaela!’ to burst from francesca like a force, not of choice but a need to name the source of where this feeling has come from.

i want a whispered admission against francesca’s ear, ‘you’re so beautiful when you come undone, i fear i shall want to find every way to do so.’

i want the answering, ‘there is more?’

i want the smile, a kiss on francesca’s neck that turns into a little nip, i want the, ‘much more. shall i show you?’

i want michaela’s delightful surprised giggle as francesca rolls them over so she is pressing michaela into the bed, ‘yes, but… show me how i can make you feel this way.’

i want, ‘you do not have to—’

i want, ‘i want to.’

i want, ‘it is your first—’

i want, ‘and it will not be my last.’

i want francesca to see michaela open her mouth to offer another reasonable excuse for francesca to escape any feeling of obligation, and instead press her lips to michaela’s, a kiss that deepens in a way she only recently discovered, ending in a tug of michaela’s bottom lip between francesca’s teeth, making her gasp into francesca’s mouth.

i want francesca to say, ‘i think you will find me to be quick study,’ as she reaches between them and swallows michaela’s moan.

PUT HER, YERIN, MASALI AND CLAUDIA IN THE SAME INTERVIEW