Practical Christian Mystic

"Blessed are those who mourn..." - Matthew 5:4a

"Be Positive!" "Cheer up!" "If you can't change your circumstances, you can change your attitude!" Ugh... If you are having a bad day, it seems there is no end the onslaught of trite little sayings thrown out by friends, coworkers, and the waterfall of social media "inspirational quotes." If you are lucky, you might yourself an empathetic shoulder to cry on for a bit or a well-intentioned back-patting. But if you sustain a "negative" countenance too long, it is guaranteed you will inevitably find yourself on the receiving end of condescending lecture on "getting over it." While it is true that our attitude can greatly affect our ability to handle life's challenges, positivity too is often used as a mask for keeping those in need at a distance or deflecting our responsibilities to show actual kindness and compassion to one another. 

I'm Happier Than Thou

Those who consider themselves religious or spiritual are often the worst offenders. We are socially ranked based on our ability project happiness and ooze joy. Sometimes, I think publishing contracts for self-help books are based on how big a smile the author can produce. As people promote their various faiths, testimonials tend to have strong focus on how happy they are now and how great life can be if you "join us."

Our propaganda is almost exclusively centered around messages of "missing out" and "there is a better life waiting" - better almost exclusively translating as "happier." Just look at the title of any Joel Osteen book, and it seems the only point of faith is happiness. It's no wonder that those struggling with the harsh nature of reality, depression, or grief often feel left out and wondering if they are disconnected from the Spirit, God, or the Kingdom.

Be Happy! That's an Order!

For those who feel like being positive is a requirement for social acceptance; you're not paranoid, they really are out to get you! In Russia, those who speak out against the government are labeled as troublemakers, harassed by officials, and often jailed. In North Korea and China, you can't be negative at all. Just complaining about bad water or crumbling infrastructure can get you arrested. It is common throughout all human history that those in power demand "positive attitudes" from those they rule over.

This behavior doesn't just go away because we live in a democratic county. While not legally enforceable, those who lead our institutions, churches, schools, and businesses still have the historic tendency to suppress complaints through intimidation and guilt. When in power, our instinct is to deflect doubt rather than question ourselves.

Either You're Happy, or You're Hyperbolic

Hyperbole, taking something and exaggerating it out to an absurd conclusion, is a common tool in politics. We also use it every day to shame those who raise issues or complaints. "Oh! You think America has made foreign policy mistakes? You just HATE America!" "You think the Church has outdated views on gender? Well, I guess you aren't really a Christian then!" "You think black people have been unfairly targeted by our legal system? Well, you just HATE the police!" The reality is that we tend to notice the flaws in the things and people we love. When you look closely at anything you see cracks. But we aren't allowed to love and critique at the same time, you have to pick between complete allegiance and total rebellion.

False Positives

The real problem with all this forced frivolity is that we miss out on our chances to be genuinely fulfilled. Instead of taking the time to explore our grief, we have to "move on." Instead of examining a case of malaise, we are told to "cheer up!" Instead of deconstructing a troubling issue we are told "don't dwell on it."

In a world that has so many truly genuine and deeply disturbing problems, we act like those who struggle with depression as if they are broken and have no reason to be sad. Maybe they just can't tune out all the crap the rest of seem so happy to just ignore? Maybe, just maybe, it's the rest of us who are broken. Those who exude true meaningful joy are not those who avoid negativity, but those who have faced it head-on and made a decision to be a part of making the world a better place.

Genuine Joy is Given, Not Taken

There are genuine joyful people around, we all know how great they are to meet. They make people feel good to just be themselves, and make it clear they care about you. They are considerate, kind, and thoughtful, but they are not always “happy.” In fact, good people are often sad as they are more sensitive to the pain and suffering around them.

Their joy does not come from ignoring negativity, but facing it with a confidence that they can make a positive difference. In fact, if a person has real joy, then you know it is OK to be sad around them. In fact, you don’t even have to be happy to give joy to others. You can just take a brief moment to think, “maybe this person’s problems matter just as much as mine.” That thought is the seed of empathy, and the engine of kindness.

Don’t Be Bullied by Positivity

Bringing all back around to spiritual and emotional development, don’t let yourself be bullied by others into “cheering up” and don’t bully yourself either. One of the worst things you can do when you are sad, depressed, or upset is to repress how you feel for the sake of appearing normal. Even Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46) The Psalms are full of cries of anguish, doubt, and grief. Life is full of ups and downs, and we should accept them as they come without wondering what should be or what others will think. And if you find yourself tempted to tell someone to “get over it,” maybe take a second and ask yourself if you are helping them, or serving your own interests. 

The disciples, early Church Fathers, and even Jesus were really harsh on heresy. The tough language used to rebuke those who spread it have been perverted throughout the years to justify killing, torture, and various forms of social apartheid. We are told that “heresy” is referring to bad theology or inaccurate doctrine when, more accurately, heresy is ANY doctrine, theology, or requirement that make is hard for people to approach the Gospel of Christ.

The Gospel is Simple, Heresy is Complicated

The Gospel, as brought to the world through Jesus Christ and spread through his disciples was really simple. It had to be. They didn’t have the Gutenberg Press, the Internet, or any Xerox machines to hand out massive amounts of material. There was also *gasp* no Bible for them to all refer too. Early evangelists simply carried around little scraps of paper with sayings of Jesus.

It was enough to tell people, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22) The parables of Jesus, such as the Prodigal Son, the Good Samaritan, and others stuck in the memory quite well. The Gospel isn’t so complicated, it is so very simple. Then heresy came along and tried to muck it all up....

Heretics Wannabe Gatekeepers to the Kingdom of God

Jesus spent a good volume of red letters condemning Pharisees in the four Gospels. He rebuked those who, “tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders.” (Matthew 23:4) Specifically addressing the absurd rituals they had compounded around the Sabbath, he corrected them: “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27) Pointing out God gave us a day of rest for OUR sake, not as an additional burden.

The reason religious leaders hated the Gospel is it takes away their power over the minds of others. Therefore, as the Gospel spread, men popped up trying to say “Wait! There is more!” and add to the Gospel in order to make other people once again submit to them and lift them up between God and man.

“Since we have heard that some persons have gone out from us and troubled you with words, unsettling your minds, although we gave them no instructions,” Acts 15:24

This sentence was part of the letter written as part of the Jerusalem Council. People were trying to say that if the gentiles didn’t accept circumcision, they would not actually be part of the Kingdom of God. To this Peter responded:

“Now, therefore, why are you putting God to the test by placing a yoke on the neck of the disciples that neither our fathers nor we have been able to bear?” Acts 15:10

I recommend reading the whole chapter, as the discussion in all of Acts 15 is about not placing a burden on others that gets between them and the Gospel.

Heresy Always Comes From a Disdain for the Poor

“[Heretics are] those who have no care for love, none for the widow, none for the orphan, none for the afflicted, none for the prisoner, none for the hungry or thirsty.” -  St. Ignatius of Antioch, Ignatius to the Smyrnaeans

Heresy has always been used as a way to separate the rich from the poor, even if the specific heresy may seem to have nothing to do with it directly.  A lot of these examples can be found in Paul’s letters to the Corinthians, as they continually used disputes to group themselves by “worth.” (Example: Corinthians 11:17-22)

“Pure and undefiled religion before God the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their misfortune and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” - James 1:27

Let’s face it, those of us who “have” aren’t always comfortable thinking well of those who “have not” because then we might feel responsible for them. So much of what perverts the Gospel is an attempt to hide Jesus’s message about loving others and working on behalf of those less fortunate than ourselves.

Heresy is Theological “Fat”

Heresy isn’t about bad theology, it is about fat theology. Even if your doctrine is 100% perfect, it serves no purpose, and in fact becomes a source of evil, if you use it as a blockade to fellowship with others. The mysteries of God and heaven may be fun to discuss or ponder, but we have to guard ourselves from letting our theories form like cholesterol around the simple Gospel. We don’t have to agree with people to love them.

The Real Heretics

Most Gospel preaching, people-loving Christians have removed “heresy” from their vocabulary, mostly because of how the term has been used to persecute people. But I am wondering if we should take it back, to call out those who weigh down the Gospel with social and cultural obligations.

My Father in Heaven,

When I am discouraged, reveal how far I have come

When I am comfortable, convict me to press forward

When I am weak, bring attention to your sovereignty  

When I am strong, expose my weaknesses

When I am tired, let me rest in your grace

When I am restless, light the path before me

When I am impatient, give me a Spirit of peace

When I am complacent, stir in me a love for others

Help me learn to live that I might always be… ...at least a little hungry ...at least a little thirsty ...at least a little tired ...at least a little hurt ...at least a little uncomfortable,

for then I might not take too much, nor deprive myself too severely

Let me learn to run at such a pace to finish, and not quit

Let me not stop, nor grow too weary

Let me walk with you, Jesus...

Many atrocities have been committed recently, and throughout history, in “the name of God.” The recent strain of global terrorism has reignited the debate over the connection between violence and religion. For some, this is a debate as to whether some religions are more violent or peaceful than others, and to some it is a debate as to whether religion itself leads to violence.

As a Christian, I have also struggled to understand how common beliefs lead some to seek peace, but also seem to inspire others to violence. At this point, I have come to understand that I have been looking at religion all wrong. We are too distracted by the labels of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hindu, etc. There are really only two religions in the world: Altruism and Tribalism.

​All Religions Are Used to Justify Violence

Current events have put Islam in the spotlight as a possible producer of violence. However, out of all the Muslims in the world, of which there are over 1.5 billion, only a fraction of a percent are involved in terrorism. Likewise, of all the terrorist attacks in the world, only 6% are committed by those associating with Islam. In fact, in America, one-in-five of all reproductive healthcare facilities have experienced terrorists attacks by those claiming to be Christian, including a very recent shooting. Let us not leave out a recent group of Buddhists in Myanmar who are committing terrorism against other religious minorities. I could go on, but the point is that violent people come from all religions.

All Religions Inspire Amazing Acts of Charity, Mercy, and Peace

Gandhi was Hindu, Mother Teresa was a Catholic, and Malala Yousafzai, the young girl who was shot for proclaiming the rights of women, is a Muslim. There are great people from every religion and culture who have worked for peace and social justice. If anything, this reality challenged my youthful assumptions more than the acts of violence. Looking around the world, I see that the best people in the world don’t have theology in common, they just have a common heart. Which leads me to conclude…

The Labels We Use Hide the True Reality of Religion: There Are Only Two

I grew up in the fundamentalist Baptist community in which people are BIG on labels. I mean, if you weren’t a “pre-millennial, five-point Calvinist, fundamental, dispensationalist” you might as well been a heathen or a heretic. However, the problem is that we label ourselves according to our beliefs, not our actions. While we have tens-of-thousands of different labels, our actions are largely the same. We are either acting as tribes, or we are working to act altruistically.

The Religion of Tribalism

Christian or Islam, Baptist or Catholic, we group ourselves into “us vs. them.” We like to gather those who are like us, act like us, and look like us together into a group called “good people” and then classify everyone else as “the problem.” We use this behavior to justify social inequality, segregation, selfishness, apathy, and often even cruelty. This is called tribalism, and it is the true source of evil. Religion is just a convenient excuse to both define and justify the existence of our tribe as “righteous.” By claiming a belief as “holy” we think we are justified in treating those who believe differently as less.

“The scribes and the Pharisees occupy the chair of Moses. They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on people’s shoulders, but will they lift a finger to move them? Not they!” - Matthew 23:2,4 NJB

The Religion of Altruism

At the heart of every major religion around the world lies these core concepts:

We need to treat others as we wish to be treated.

We need to invest effort in understanding others, rather than rushing to judgment.

We need to practice mercy, forgiveness, and charity to counteract the evils of the world.

We need to work together for something greater than ourselves.

The problem is that these concepts are actionable, meaning that we have to DO them. Believing is easy, but doing is hard. The hardest thing for us to do is change our behavior. Even harder, is to change our behavior in such a way that doesn’t seem to benefit us. The hard truth about these core concepts is that they all require us to change our behavior in a way that makes us vulnerable. That is why we prefer to think we can just “believe” and be fine.

Do Beliefs Matter at All?

You believe in the one God—that is credible enough, but even the demons have the same belief, and they tremble with fear. Fool! Would you not like to know that faith without deeds is useless?- James 2:19-20 NJB

I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I believe the Scriptures are inspired by the Holy Spirit. I believe Jesus taught us to love one another, to practice forgiveness, mercy, and charity, and to put the needs of others before our own.  Most of all, I believe Jesus meant what he said. Because of this, I am in constant struggle to change my attitudes and behaviors to align with the values he taught. However, those beliefs only matter to me. If those beliefs didn’t change my behavior, then they wouldn’t matter at all.

If your beliefs help you grow kinder toward your fellow man, then those beliefs are good. However, if your beliefs motivate you to act callously, cold, or cruel to others, then your beliefs have no value to God or man. In the Religion of Tribalism, we use beliefs as social status and segregation tool. In the Religion of Altruism, we use beliefs to challenge ourselves to live for something greater than ourselves and grow our compassion for others. Even the Scriptures tell us that Our Father in Heaven declares that cruelty done in his name is unholy, while any act of kindness is blessed (Matthew 25:31-46).

Do We Declare Allegiance or Proclaim Repentance

The an act of repentance is required in all faiths. It is an acknowledgement that we understand our own part we have, are, and will play in adding the fear, hurt, and pain in this world. With this acknowledgement, we make a decision to work toward being a source of love and kindness. In Christian language, we acknowledge our sinful nature and commit to follow Jesus’s example toward compassion. The sacrifice Christ made on the cross is both an example of love in the face of violence, as well as a divine act of forgiveness to humanity so that we know we are free to keep moving forward.

In tribalism, however, conversion to a religion is staged as an act of allegiance. Leaders of tribalistic communities demand loyalty to whatever their brand or label happens to be. Any doubt, questioning, or critique of a tribal community is seen as disloyalty or treason. Those who align the most the ideal of the tribe are raised up the social ladder, while those who fail to live up the ideal are ostracized. Tribalism is the source of all radicalism, extremism, and terrorism.

Let’s Change the Conversation

But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God." Luke 18:16 ESV

“Get ahead” seems like such an innocuous phrase. It is such a mainstay of our culture we don’t even think twice about it. Often, the most frequent reason children are given for why they need to study, work hard, or do what they are told is so they can “get ahead.” But if we just stopped for a second to analyse those words, we would realize there is a cold and violent root to that expression: leaving others behind.

The Divergent Hunger Games

The words we use reflect the heart of our culture, and “getting ahead” is certainly a pillar of our society. If you look at the stories young adults tend to relate to, they are all very violent stories about competitive social cultures. In other words, young people feel like they are born “worthless” and have to fight to gain value in the eyes of the adults around them. While hyperbolic, The Hunger Games and Divergent are very real examples of how young people are feeling.

“Get Ahead” Implies a Brutal Competition

There is a lot of hidden and emotional baggage given to a child when they think they have to “get ahead.” Not the least of which is an idea that they are in a kind of brutal competitive race with their peers. “That’s right little Johnny, if you don’t do better than everyone else, then they will just drag you down.” It creates an immediate sense of fear and animosity on a subconscious level. I often wonder if this a big reason bullying and cruelty is so common among children.

“Get Ahead” Implies Success is Only Possible Through the Failure of Others

On the topic of competition, yes, in sports you only win if someone loses. The problem is that we are learning more and more that succeeding in real life means you succeed alongside others. Lifting others up and investing in the well-being and success of those around you will bring much more reward than working to defeat everyone. When we grow up with the pressure to “get ahead” we aren’t looking for ways to help others, we are looking for ways to defeat others.

“Get Ahead” Implies Superiority Over Our Fellow Man

The ultimate end of “get ahead” is the heart of slavery. It is the belief that if we are rich and successful in life then we must just be better people than those who are poor. It is the belief that those who have deserve it, and those who have-not deserve nothing. It is how we tell ourselves that if we are fortunate enough in life to climb to the top, we should feel no obligation to those we climbed over and around. It means that, in our hearts, we are OK with some people living at the service of others.

Instead of “Get Ahead” Let’s Tell Children to Work Together

I have heard some people theorize that children are inherently cruel when they are immature, I am not sure I believe this to be true. Watching my own children grow up, I would argue they seem equal parts competitive and compassionate. I think we have an option which side to nurture. Children should not be conditioned to feel good when they best another, but rather to feel a sense of responsibility to help each other based on strengths and weaknesses. 

What We Mean is Not What is Heard 

I expect that almost any parent reading this who uses the phrase “get ahead” does not mean it to carry so much baggage. I realize that most parents are just well-meaning and want the best for their children. Nevertheless, it is critical to examine our own backgrounds and ask ourselves “is the world we grew up in the same one we want our children to recreate?” Yes, many of us had to “survive” into adulthood, but maybe our children can thrive instead.

Poem: Thy Kingdom Come:

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." - Matthew 10:39

In the comedy What About Bob? the character Bob, played by the legendary Bill Murray, finds himself tied to explosives by his now violently exasperated psychiatrist. Of course the goal was to blow him up, but Bob, who persistently thinks the best of everyone, assumes it is some kind of therapy. The "treatment" cures Bob of his issues in life, and he goes on to patent and promote "death therapy." However, Bob wasn't the first person to use "death therapy" to gain perspective on life, it is the core paradox of Jesus's teachings. The reality is that if you want to enjoy life, you have to give it away.

Do You Hoard Life or Invest It?

“If we look at life as some precious treasure we must hoard, the demands made by others on our life are like losses. And death is the final loss, a final failure to hold on to our life. But if we look at our life as a treasure [to be shared], every service we give to others is a fulfillment of our life’s purpose. And death is the final giving, the total giving.” - Edicio de la Torre

I heard the above quote during a sermon by Paster Jeff Minor of Life Journey Church in Indianapolis. I almost jumped out of my seat because it so perfectly summaries the "riddle" of daily life. At the center of Christian life, and true discipleship of Jesus, lies a critical choice to live our days by giving our life away, instead of trying to hoard it unto ourselves.

Worldly wisdom thinks of “life” as those moments where things are all in our favor. Vacations, leisure, celebrations, and comfort are seen as “life" while things like work, training, helping, and service are considered "interruptions." Yes, we may see a virtue in serving others, or feel a sense of righteous sacrifice in volunteer work, but we don't put in our "living" category. For most of us, our daily time is spent doing things we don't like very well to get to the good stuff. We don't see our daily life as an investment in others, or the world around us, we see it as something to navigate so we have more "life" for ourselves.

Work Can Be Living - The Day I Began to Overcome Stress

This topic means so much to me because it probably saved my life. I was suffering from extreme stress and anxiety because it seemed like getting everything done was going to be impossible. Everyday I tried to fulfill all my obligations so I could squeeze in some "living" at the end. I felt a growing resentment for work, even well-paying work, because it just added to wall between me and living. The scary thing was, I didn't even know this was going on in my heart. Then one day I read this selection by Kahlil Gibran, taken from the book The Prophet:

Work is love made visible.      And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.      For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger.      And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distills a poison in the wine.      And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man's ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night.

It hit me like a slap to the face. I was working to get done, but not to working to love. The very next day I woke up with the realization that there is no reason for me to work unless I loved those I worked for, and that my work was my way to show it. All the sudden my life wasn't the few hours a day I had to myself, but the whole day I got to use my gifts and talents to help others.

Sweet Rest for the Joyful Working

"Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep." - Ecclesiastes 5:12

When we live our days to give away and invest our life in others, even rest and leisure now have greater purpose. Our bed is no longer an escape from the demands of the world, but a holy place of peace where we restore ourselves for good work. As the paradox of giving away our life makes living joyful, so is it that when we work with love, rest is more satisfying.

So many workaholics, such as myself, feel guilty about resting because they know the work waiting ahead of them. When we see work as a part of life, it clears our minds to temper our pace. No longer do we work to "get done" but rather to work well each day. Rest becomes, not an escape from work, but a part of it. Rest and labor are two parts of the same thing, like breathing.

"It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep." - Proverbs 127:2

Living to Die Well

Hoarding life is like a tyrannical "bridezilla" who demands a perfect fantasy wedding - disappointment is the only possible outcome. Life is chaotic, the future is unknowable, and we are always changing. If we hold onto our expectations, they will drag us down like cement shoes. Being a disciple of Christ is to live each day giving our life away. After all, it is only the life we give away that we get to keep after death. Embrace "Death Therapy" and start living the joyful life Christ came to show us!

Meditation Fodder

When others need your time and attention, do you see that as an interruption to life or life itself?

Do you volunteer for things to "fill your quota" or as an opportunity to live fully?

Do you see work as a part of your life, or something you get through in order to live?

What decision do you think has the greatest impact on your life? Where you go to college? Who you marry? Perhaps, what career you pick? When we think about important decisions we have been trained to think BIG. But what if I told you that the decisions which impact your life the most are the small ones? What if your whole life is determined more by when, how long and well you sleep, how you pray, and how you schedule your day more than any BIG choice you think you are making? 

The Choices I Would Make Differently

In my early adult life, I was very ambitious. Not that I wanted to be rich or famous, but I had specific goals in mind. Some of those goals are very common, like wanting to earn enough money to comfortably provide for my family. The problem was that I had blinders on, neglecting daily life in pursuit of those goals. I would let my health, relationships, and even simple maintenance go by the wayside thinking I would “get to them later.” 

Once I started making daily life a priority; sleeping well, eating well, taking time to nurture relationships, saving time for myself to read and think, then the BIG things began to change. In hindsight, my greatest mistake in life was sacrificing today in pursuit of tomorrow.

Big Choices Are Slaves to the Small Ones

“As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.” Job 4:8

Foolish people regret choices, but wise men regret attitudes. You can't live every day of your life grumpy, stressed, and tired and then think that you are going to make a good decision when the time comes. If you live every day of your life thinking negatively about someone, then you aren't going to keep yourself from "saying the wrong thing" in the heat of the moment. 

If ambition burns in your heart, then you shouldn't be surprised when you look back and see a damaged relationships. The choices we so often "regret" are just the times when we end up reaping what we have been sowing for years. “Attitude” is basically just a word to sum up our small choices we make daily: how we react to people, how we approach our work, etc.

  You Don’t Really Even Make “BIG” Choices

Not to get too “Matrix” on you, but the reality is that we really don’t make big choices. You have already decided on them. The job you pick is based on your skills and passion, your skills are based on your choices of learning, your learning is based on your talent and priorities. You pick one similar job over another based on which one you think will best get you to your life and career goals. Your life and career goals are based on your worldview. To summarize, the “BIG” choices are really determined by your small choices combined with what is available. 

Small Choices Are More Powerful and Longer-Lasting

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap”  - Galatians 6:7

The good news is that making great small choices adds up over time to true sustainable fruits. The phrase, "you will reap what you sow," is as much a promise as it is a warning. If you make great small choices every day, they will eventually add up to great big outcomes. Like my mistake, I thought the little things would wait until I had the big things handled. It turned out, taking care of the little things meant the big things took care of themselves. An example of this is an article I wrote previously on making the bed. 

The Real “BIG” Choices

Here are some of the real choices which determine the course of our lives which we so often overlook:

A Good Night’s Sleep Choosing to get a good night’s sleep is essential to a healthy life. Sleep affects so much of your thoughts and emotions. If you live on little sleep, you will see everything in an increasingly negative light, anxiety will grow, and your relationships will suffer. If you are sacrificing sleep for the illusion of “getting ahead” you are heading for a wall. I learned that no matter how desperate I think things are, it is almost never worth losing sleep over to meet a deadline or beat the clock. Sometimes, the holiest things we can do is face the day well rested.

A Healthy Lifestyle Eating well and getting exercise are often the first to suffer when you are chasing a goal. Eating healthy takes planning and is difficult in the daily rush, and working out can seem like a big time waste and distraction. However, these things add energy and clarity to our day. Ignoring adds up to truly devastating consequences.

Judging Others How you think about people, talk about people, and view other people is probably one of the biggest drivers of your life. Every negative thought is a seed which will grow into conflict, and every negative word is a promise of division. We so often unintentionally neglect those around us as we focus on our own problems. Making ourselves available to be aware of others and taking the time to understand those different from us may seem inefficient, but is ultimately the most productive thing we can ever do. 

Listening Liken to the above item, I have found listening to be the most powerful career advancement tool. I have come to believe that the things everyone wants most from their coworkers is to know they are understood. We are often so obsessed with being understood, that we often bypass the process of understanding others. When someone feels like you understand them, they also feel like they can trust you.

Stillness  Taking time every day for prayer and/or meditation, even if it’s as simple as a walk, is so important to making sure your emotions, your thoughts, and your choices are healthy. Nothing can seem like a bigger time waster than doing nothing. But a little bit of nothing goes a long way. A lot of anxiety and stress comes from a build-up of thoughts and experiences that we haven’t taken time to process. They grow into a monster that makes us afraid of the silence. It is like that junk drawer you dread having to clean someday. Stillness helps us clear out the clutter of our thoughts, and we often find great treasures amongst them.

Changing Focus In this light of prayer, what we pray for makes a big difference. Do we pray for “things?” Do we pray for ourselves or others? Do we pray circumstances to change, or for us to change? To we ask God to open our eyes, or do we ask for favors? Little choices like these make a big difference when facing the challenges and decisions of daily life.

Thankfulness and Abundant Living Especially in America, our culture has become so workaholic and shame based that we think it is virtuous to neglect our own lives in pursuit of success. The “retirement culture” says to put off your passions until you are “done” working. The biggest victim of this mindset is the modern marriage. If you can’t find ways to enjoy your family, relationships, and even spending time with yourself, you will burn out before you have a chance to retire. I am not talking about indulging. In fact, a good habit of thankful living helps keep bad impulses at bay. If we don’t enjoy and show thankfulness for what we have, what point is there in God giving us any more?

Doing Less If all these things sounds great but “impossible” for our busy schedule, then perhaps we should consider cutting out some responsibilities? Maybe our home is too expensive, maybe we have too much stuff to take care of, maybe our debts are too great, or perhaps we simply commit to too much. If we don’t have enough time to do something fully, with joy, and with a calm spirit, then we probably shouldn’t do it at all.

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” - Psalm 46:10a

The Small Choice Challenge

I never liked "let go and let God." First because it seems trite, but also because we have a level of responsibility over our lives, even when things are out of our control. Instead, consider your responsibility to take charge over smaller decisions, and then trust God for the big things. In other words, don't "let go" but do focus on the journey rather than the destination.

It may seem hard to believe that big choices will take care of themselves, but I challenge you to give it a try. Think through your average day, and look for opportunities to make small changes. Greet people generously, do your best to remain calm, take time out for prayer and thought, and find a way to enjoy the day as an act of worship. You will see very quickly how your perceptions change and the fog of modern life begins to lift.