xoxo

I might’ve drank too much… alcohol is so high in calories it’s disgusting…. But… at least I had fun and isn’t that the most important part!!?

Sure, I maybe felt physically better and didn’t get headaches as much, i could carelessly eat dinner with my family, and I wasn’t as clumsy at work. But damn… mentally I’ve never hated myself more, I was scared to see my friends, I couldn’t go swimming with them because of how fat I feel, I can’t fit into my favorite pants anymore, I couldn’t enjoy partying with my friends because I felt disgusting for putting on so much weight, and was afraid they’d notice…

And my face is fat… (⊙_⊙)

I’ve locked in this week I think

Hopefully I’ll relapse

And obviously I wasn’t recovered, I don’t think that’s what was going on - I just threw my control out of the window but continued to want to be skinny… which is pretty contradictory ᵕ-_-