revolution

Send me one or some of the following:

                                   I ACTIVELY WORK TO MAKE PEOPLE DISLIKE ME                                    SO I DON’T FEEL BAD WHEN THEY DO     •     •     •

*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*

*Slaps you*

*Kisses you on the lips*

*Bites your lip*

*Rubs your shoulders*

*Dumps ice water over your head*

*Winks at you*

*Flips hair at you*

*Throws a ball of paper towards you*

*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*

*Slams the door shut behind you*

*Storms out of the room*

*Wraps my arms around you from behind*

*Kisses your neck*

*Nibbles on your earlobe*

*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*

*Strokes your hair*

*Caresses your cheek*

*Holds you in my arms*

QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION

“You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?”

“I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel.”

“Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

“Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”

“If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you.”

“Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”

*Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”

QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“I don’t know you, but thanks.”

“You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?”

“We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again.”

“Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?”

“It’s none of your business. We just met.”

“Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”

“I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry.”

QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION

“Did you get that email I sent you last night?”

“No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”

“I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!”

“I know what you’ve got in that top drawer.”

“I can’t believe you’re drunk at work.”

“You know, most people watch porn at home.”

“Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband.”

“Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!”

“If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too.”

“You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?”

QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION

“Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”

“We lost the playoffs.”

“The girls team beat the boys!”

“I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office.”

“Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours.”

“I heard they were fucking in the bathroom.”

“She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!”

“She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth.”

“I can’t believe we’re graduating this year.”

“Being a freshman sucks.”

“I slept with a sophomore last weekend.”

“She/he told me they were a junior!”

“Why are those freshmen staring at you?”

“Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?”

“How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?”

“Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”

“I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“I definitely failed that test.”

“I got an A on my essay!”

QUOTES - SASS EDITION

“Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out.”

“I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number.”

“Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”

“I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give.”

“What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains.”

“Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“At this point you might as well ask for my autograph.”

QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION

“You know I’m right! I’m always right!”

"Shut up. Just shut up!”

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

“You’re lying.”

“I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you.”

“I can’t look at you.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“If you say one more word, I swear…”

“Pipe down, you’re making a scene.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Now I know why people think you’re neurotic.”

“You must be crazy.”

“I’m not backing down.”

"You can’t hide the truth forever, you know.”

“What’s your issue?”

"You make me so angry.”

"This has nothing to do with you.”

QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION

"And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

“I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

“I’ve never been good at this. I don’t do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”

"You’re the one that I want.”

“I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”

"Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind.”

“I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life.”

“I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”

"I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now.”

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I need you more than you will ever know.”

“I love you more than I could ever express in words.”

QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION

*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*

“I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!”

“I brought vodka and ice cream.”

“You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads.”

“I can’t believe you went without me!”

“I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?”

“I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!”

“I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up.”

TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION

[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?

[TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.

[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.

[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.

[TEXT] Do you even love me?

[TEXT] What happened to us?

[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.

[TEXT] IM26C4U.

[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.

[TEXT] I couldn’t care less.

[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.

[TEXT] I still love you.

[TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.

TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION

[TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.

[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.

[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??

[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.

“And I fell in love instantly.”

“It’s probably nothing.“ 

“It becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is.“ 

“If you see something, say nothing and drink to forget.“ 

“And you may find, as time passes, that you remember it less and less.“ 

“Look, I’ve probably said too much.“ 

“If you don’t hear from me again, it has truly been a pleasure.“ 

“We are not history yet.“ 

"You are safe now." 

"You can let go now." 

"We have nothing to speak about. There never was." 

"I have chosen to not be certain of anything at all." 

"There are many things I wish I could remember." 

"I do not live but I exist." 

"I don’t know if he listens to me sometimes." 

"We can do this together, you and I." 

"You don’t know what to say." 

"I know what I saw." 

"Regrets just bear us down." 

"You are all to me." 

"Think nothing of it; it’s forgotten." 

"There—now you know. Has that filled an emptiness for you? Are you any happier now?" 

"I have something of urgent importance to tell you." 

"And for now, existence is enough." 

"No, not you! Not you!" 

"Please, stay safe inside." 

"I just don’t believe violence is ever the answer—it is a question. The real answer is far more terrifying." 

"We can get along." 

"I’m coming in there." 

"There must be something beyond this something." 

"I will try not to be long." 

"I don’t know where I am." 

"I told you I would be back." 

"I let that woeful beast live." 

"We have each other." 

"As with life, and as with all things, it will pass." 

"Am I in Hell?”

“I am certain that there must be more to us than just us." 

"Let’s not dwell on our corpse strewn past; let’s celebrate our corpse strewn future." 

"I probably won’t miss you." 

"Well, let’s just find out together, shall we?" 

"And it’s just no good anymore. We can’t carry on like this." 

"Nothing is real, I don’t think. Whatever; who cares?" 

"When I die, I want to have earned it." 

"The present tense of regret is indecision." 

"The future tense of fear is either comedy or tragedy." 

"I can disappear if I want to." 

"And what if the void is not as void as we thought?" 

"Time is weird; so is space. I hope ours match again someday." 

"We should all be so lucky to set our own futures." 

"I fear for what we know." 

"I fear for what we don’t know." 

"We have nothing to fear and never did." 

"It is likely I will learn nothing from this." 

"After everything that happened, I just wanted to see you." 

"It is too late for us." 

"But maybe you shouldn’t sleep in your home anymore. Just in case." 

"Your sadness will know no bounds." 

"Nothing will be the same." 

"Nothing has ever been the same." 

"When something is this weird, one shouldn’t assume to understand anything specific about it at all." 

"Ignorance may not actually be bliss, but it certainly is less work." 

"No one has ever known anything—not really." 

"I don’t know much about anything at all, honestly." 

"Everything is some level of probably, nothing is a promise." 

"You don’t know, and so it might very well." 

"Nothing ever really happens to me." 

"Thanks, that means lot. Not to me, but your words hold a lot of meaning intrinsically." 

"So it’s best just to stay away." 

"It cannot give you what you need." 

"Oh, you don’t even want to know." 

"But it wasn’t what I thought it would be." 

"I’ll be back as soon as I can." 

"You have no idea how often it is just you and me." 

"There always seems to be something upsetting you." 

"It’s not that there’s nothing coming to get you; there’s everything coming to get you. But relax anyway." 

"Don’t worry. All is as it was meant to be." 

"It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting, don’t worry." 

"This is because I am also slightly malicious. Sorry about that." 

"Thinking about it now, nothing seems good, let alone perfect." 

"And those imperfections in our reality are the seams and the cracks into which our outsized love can seep and pool." 

"And sometimes we’re annoyed. And disappointed. And that, too, is a part of how love works."