Save Me Holiday

geopolitical tension is on a decline, hopefully.

expected this even 4 months ago.

emiiiirrrrraatttteeessss still standing tall.

the future is great, the model survived and emerged stronger.

as to me. im alive.

offers evrywhere but im not taking. no longer wanting the smoke. peace is the only option.

posting this just to ping you. well not sure if you remember this. not sure if you still care. im not expecting. just getting this out of my system.

hopefully will not get flagged.again.

The Hauge is better than most cities in Europe, currently being occupied by hundreds of pinoys b3cause of d 3 0, algorithm now can track most things, so t0 put irregularities on post could break trails. Phil is in bad shape and will continue to spiral down. bad leader, corrupt practicess. Its like the PNoy's time again but worse. Should we activate juansmind again? or

should i stay away from this. I almost got k*ll*d the last time and this is not my first rodeo either. Dont vote for philip S. Please dont add more stupid people in the senate for fuck sake.

tho im nunpartisan on politics now, bigger plot twists about to happen, be ready. the hague move was just the beginning as per mmy resource pperson. dont believe me im a no body. i here things, see things but cannot verify. invest on gold for safety. The trail in Morocco wasnt a mistake after all. desert gives you wisdom, helpful boots, map reading skills still on point. should I go back to the motherland this year? airport transfer sux, doing tumblr just to kill time. make time. how long does it take to be not bored again? wasting time on transfer as if i have a spare to waste. 3 exits, 1 lift, 2 walkalator, and 4 security checks with k9. a guy that looks like a professor, a blond chick with a kid, 4 sus guys, may have military background as well, old man, old lady. 4 russian man, could be from Moscow.only 2 exits are working come on. policia is checking me from a far. I shoudnt have wear this hoodie, breaking trrrails is hard. just for the algor, not to catcech mee. should chrck for other airline now, mayB airarabia, or qatar airways. lilo and stich doll presenting in front of me, what is thiss signs im seeing?. im getting tired. Europe kept me walking for days,

So after many years.

I had a brief chance of coming home.

Havent excerised my native language for years.

Yet, something swiched in me. and started talking again. saying like "gago ano yan" made me laugh like a young me would always say. hahaha freakin cool.

I took some chance to visit a particular person but my security didnt allow me too. Said the place is near to some places I shouldnt step foot on.

I had the chance to meet familiar faces. But I cant share details due to security threats.

MOA has 3rd floor now. and about to have its 4thfloor.

Seaside is shit now. cause of expansion maybe.

New express roads. New LRT station "Redemtoris" to Sucat.

Im putting it here to serve as a reminder for me that I came home even though its just a brief stay.

Will I be back soon? I cant say. It took me 3 years to have this chance.

Was I wishing to stay longer? I think you know the answer to that.

Was I able to meet the person I want to meet?

no. I think shes still recovering from her pregnancy so better not. Maybe someday Ill meet her again. if not maybe in the nextlife.

Also shes happy now i think. so If I put my shadow on them, Im taking away her chance to be really happy. and I cant accept that. She deserves better. And thats what shes getting right now. well Im just guessing.

Thanks Mnl. while our meeting was short. You are always worth the wait. Next time ill bring more clothes cause im sweating bullets. haha "tangina gago ano yan?!" hahahaha

I became a tourist to the country I used to defend. to the country I used to call home. Lifes funny side.

The White Move

like the game of chess, The white move on offensive end. To push, to attack. The strategy is to win on being on the aggressive end. Wrong.

The key is to be both attack and defending.

At this point the "match" between you and me is on both winning. You get to expirience all the happiness. I get to expirience to see things more positive which is also important as I am on my way to the last part of my recovery.

Am I too late? that was my initial reaction, but the truth is, I just arrive on time. on time to see you winning.

What a great way to end a story, a poem, the plot twist that i think i already know even before all this. A vision that I already know, from the last hug. I wasnt the one. What to do next on this loop? A new story? Introduce a new character? Should I be on the Black move? or stay on the course? A daily or a weekly blog?

As I am writing this, The white move is the decision. Money and Fortune is still on the table. New places to see. New people to meet. New stories to tell.

We already said our farewell a long time ago.

I know.

Mixed of emotions running.

Its all my fault. I know.

Am I happy for you?

Yes, yes I am.

Do I want to forget the Idea of you?

No, Never.

The slow burn thought of you. I bleed your name. Money, fortune doesnt matter any more. I am too late.

I know. its all my fault.

I am not expecting any thing nor want trouble. I have many of it already. I just want to write and post just incase you want to know, my side of story.

I know, I know I dont matter.

All the words im writing, old stories, old promises. Old me, hahaha you used to make fun of my age yet, here you are starting a new family.

I know, It should have been Me, Us.

I know, its my fault. (No regrets, I hope you believe me) and even if you dont, I know.

I dont matter.

I can keep going on this, writing scribbles of thoughts, till i get tired, till i get bored. Till i get nothing left to say.

I know, its impossible for me to stop these mind to run around on loops. The Idea of you.

To infinity and beyond. Ill be praying for you. Ill be cheering for your success.

Living your best life now and that is good.

Be present and take as many photos as you can.

Time goes by fast like a blink of an eye.

Be with him, support him.

As a family, you must prioritize him and your baby morethan your parents.

Build a strong family unit.

cross roads

pavements

concrete jungle.

vs

a boat

sea

stress free philosophy.

rebuilding mental health is the goal.

insert ➡️shit happens⬅️ then bounce back. repeat.

read on stoic shit. grasp reality. then die again.

repeat.

endless loop of failed me X wanting you but not possible to have you.