I Am Torchbearer And I Will Not Give Up On Him

or... get this man an autism assessment.

in 'the ønly band in the wørld', tyler talks about feeling he can't quite be himself at shows where his family is present, and how they separate stage him out from the true him, when really he feels like the same person.

"i'll start saying things to myself like, 'maybe don't do that weird thing'" pg229 of the extended edition

"i don't know if i'm comfortable with her [rosie] seeing me as two different people" pg 230 of the extended edition

"i feel like a lot of the people i know and love put the tyler who performs onstage in a closet somewhere [...] it's like they let him do his thing and put him away again" pg231 of the extended edition

i feel like he has surpressed a lot of how he wants to act in his normal life, and feels he can only let it out on stage. but at the same time he really struggles with the duality of that. of people seeing his stage persona as separate, when to him it is the most real.

i love seeing him stim, and i know a lot of you do too. it makes me feel more comfortable about myself, especially as i share so many of the same ones as he shows. he feels so much emotion through music in a similar way to me and i love watching him show it. it makes me so happy to see him properly express himself and i wish he would let it out more.

anywayyyyyy... these are my first ever gifs! it was kind of fun to learn, but i am a perfectionist and i want them to be the best they can be. unfortunately i was not working with the best quality of videos, but i like how they turned out. i hope you enjoyed my little autistic analysis >_<

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