23 .

Let’s cuddle and have unprotected sex all day and get you pregnant

duck titties will be banned on the 17th 😪

I use to be hurt when someone stopped fucking with me but now man if ya wanna go then go. Life goes on.

its so fuckin strange that one day, we’re gonna meet someone who falls head over heels in love with us?? isnt that fuckin weird?? theyre gonna see my favourite food in the supermarket and be like “oh ____ would love this!” theyre gonna wake up in the morning next 2 me and thank god for having us meet. theyre gonna look at me as if i’m the sun, moon and stars!! thats so fuckin odd

Thats pussy babe!

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

no offense but this is a cinematic masterpiece

Working in retail is wild, people just tell me things about their personal life and I just stand there. I don’t know how to respond to “my kid just died” or “I’m getting a divorce” like that’s sucks… $13.48 is your total.

I hate the awkward transition too…… they could be telling me something deep and I’m tryna find the best time to ask if they want their receipt emailed…..

Let me nut in you

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

Storu

me: *likes a person* person: *likes me back* me: o shit….sorry…..this is all …too much…gtg

If I don’t get some weed and some dick soon I’m gonna fuckin lose it

Bitch a mood lmao

on sight

⚰

This post got better omg