I’m waiting on happiness.

I’m waiting on friendships.

I’m waiting on relationships.

I’m waiting on love.

I’m waiting on family.

I’m waiting on recovery.

But most importantly,

There’s nothing casual about love to you. Casual means you can just flip a switch on love and turn it on or off. Casual means that you’re not the only one in the relationship. Casual means that at the end of the day, you’re not sure where you stand with that person – is it ok to text good morning? Is it ok to call on your way home from work? Is it ok to say, “I need to see you more than once a week?”

When it’s casual, you’re not sure. When it’s casual, there’s no way to tell.

When you dip your toe into the waters of casual love, you don’t know if that person will show up if you need them. Sure, the sex can be great, the conversations can be exciting, but when you need to call someone to talk about the terrible thing that happened at work – will they be there to pick up the phone? You’re not sure. And that doesn’t sit well with you.

Cause you’re not a casual love kind of girl.

You’re the kind of girl who wants a love that you can be sure of, a love that you don’t have to downplay. You want to shout your love from rooftops and you want to wear it on your sleeve. You want to hold it in your hands and take the time and energy to cultivate it every day.

There’s nothing casual about that.

You want to go out for margaritas and wake up the next morning to eggs, bacon, and the smell of coffee brewing. You want to have a night of mind-blowing physical intimacy, and you want to cuddle in bed for more than a moment the next morning. You want to talk until the wee hours of the morning, and you want to be able to sit in silence and know that there’s no need to fill the air with chatter, for the space between you is already filled with comfort and love.

You want the expectation of remembering birthdays, and names of friends and family members, and the stories of younger days that shaped you into the person you’ve become. You want to give, and you want to receive, and you want to be with someone who expects the best from you, someone whom you expect the best from, too.

There’s nothing casual about expectation.

And you know what? That’s ok. It’s ok that you don’t want a casual kind of love. It’s ok that you want someone to lean on and someone to love on. It’s ok that you want someone to live with, not exist with. It’s ok that you want to know that your person is going to show up for you, and it’s ok that you want to be the person that shows up for them. You need commitment, and consistency, and intimacy, and connection. You need to be in a relationship that wants to be rooted in something bigger than convenience.

Let me go if you only want me right now. If you only crave my touch at 4 am when you’re intoxicated and we’re the easy option. Do me a favor and keep your eyes off me. Even when our breath smells of loneliness and you can feel my desire to get high on your kisses, don’t fulfill it. Don’t look for my mouth if any pair of lips would make you feel the same. Don’t hold my body captive if you never plan to give me more than just your heartbeats.

Let me go if I’m the text messages you’re never excited enough to check right away but polite enough to reply anyway. Do me a favor and tell me the truth. Don’t respond to all my hello and end every conversation with ‘Let’s hang out sometimes’ when you’re definitely not keen enough to follow through. Don’t ring me up only because someone else doesn’t answer your calls and now you’re bored and want a substitute to keep you company. Because trust me, we both deserve more. On this Friday night I would like to be someone’s magic, not just hours and hours of meaningless banter that can only rely on substances to make it less painfully mediocre.

If you want someone to call only when you have time or when you’re bored and lonely. I’m not the girl for you.

If you only want to see me when you have no one else to talk to and you want to kill some time. I’m not the girl for you.

If you want me to tell you what you want to hear instead of the truth or how I really feel.  I’m not the girl for you.

If you expect me to be too understanding and too accommodating. I’m not the girl for you.

If you expect me to wait for you or keep playing your game until you make up your mind. I’m not the girl for you.

If you want to hang out with me then hang out with a different girl the next day. I’m not the girl for you.

If you want someone who will accept your inconsistency. I’m not the girl for you.

If you want someone who is chill and nonchalant. I’m not the girl for l for you.

If you can’t understand why I think not replying to a text is rude. I’m not the girl for you.

If you are still thinking about someone else and you want to me to be patient. I’m not the girl for you.

If you only want to have fun and be casual. I’m not the girl for you.

If you didn’t know it from the first time you looked into my eyes. I’m not the girl for you.

If you’re confused or hesitant about me. I’m not the girl for you.

I’m the girl for someone who is fully ready, who knows what he wants, who knows that he wants me. Someone who can see how passionate and loving I can be and wants to be a part of my life and a part of my heart. Someone who understands that I’m not perfect but I’m real and I’m willing to work on myself.

Someone who understands that I’ve been hurt before and I won’t let myself go through the same heartbreak twice. Someone who knows that even though I can be with anyone, I chose him.

I’m the girl for someone who’s scared to lose me, who won’t let me go without a fight and someone who understands that girls like me will walk away from guys who don’t appreciate them no matter how much they love them.

If you want someone to stay with you when you don’t appreciate her. I’m not the girl for you.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they will notice the littlest things about you. Even the things you try and hide. They’ll watch you closely and pick up on everything. They’ll read you well and know you better than you know yourself.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they are the most stubborn of all signs. They somehow always get their way. And you’ll find yourself just trying to appease them.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they take things very personally but it is in taking things personally you realize how sensitive they are. They’ll teach you to be a little more careful with the things you say and do.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they are really bad at hiding their emotions. Both the good ones and the bad ones. The good parts of it is they’ll wear their heart on their sleeve. They will love you hard and with everything they have. But when you hurt them you’ll see that clearly too.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they take on a lot and if you aren’t someone who is self-motivated or supporting all they do, they won’t see a need for you in their life. They are the type who bite off more than they can chew but in doing that they see a lot of success. They are cautious with who they give their heart to and try to make practical decisions. The type of partner they need is someone who understands a relationship will never be their number one priority.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they will never choose love first. They are heartbreakers. They don’t mean to be but they need a certain type of partner and they need someone who understands the type of partner they are able to be and not expect more than what they do have the ability to give.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they will teach you about true strength. They have this resilence and this ability to bounce back from things. They overcome about everything that crosses their path. And when things don’t go your way they will be the ones who carry you through it. They will be the ones reminding you no matter how bad things are, it will get better. They will shine a light on your darkest days and be the company when you don’t want any.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo because they do need a lot in a partner. They need someone who can listen to the things they don’t understand and the things they are trying to process. They need someone who can help them find clarity in moments they are confused.

Don’t fall in love with a Leo unless you are willing to let someone else be the center of attention. They walk into parties and their presence is known. They are the type everyone wants to talk to. The person everyone knows. And while you might admire their popularity and their charisma what they admire is having someone like you to stand beside them making them better.