If he loved you he would care that he hurt you. Say it again. Say it again. He would care.

Stop saying “I miss you”. Just say “I want to see you now”.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

“I love you.” she said. “And I think I will always love you. I think I loved you before I met you and perhaps the universe conspired to help me find you just so I could love you. Just so I could know what it felt like to love someone like you. I’ve loved you for a very long time and even when there was distance between us, I still loved you from afar. And now.. I think.. maybe.. just maybe.. it’s time for me to love you from afar again.. silently.. secretly.. just like I have for almost more than a year. It’s not that my feelings toward you have changed. They are stronger if possible… but.. we both know that I lost you somewhere in between what was and what could have been but what never was. I know you have moved on and it’s okay. It’s okay to move on. You never made any promises to me. but the thing is.. I feel lost.. Lost amidst waves of people that want you.. and we both know I can’t swim so I am drowning. The waves keep knocking me over again and again. Never in my life have I cared about silly things like this. Never have I cared about other women. Then I don’t understand why I suddenly care so much. The truth is.. there are so many of them that want you.. and I am lost.. I am confused.. because I am just another random woman in your life.. while my life.. you are everything. So maybe.. it’s time for me to love you from afar again. Maybe that’s what’s best for both of us.

“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”

Don’t fall in love with the good, easy, put together parts of me. Fall in love with the mess that I am, fall in love with the chaos in my eyes and the storms in my heart.