Original Works

Shared

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Competition

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Corrupted

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Beachside Ménage Box Set

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Works in Progress

Eighteen Again

Rating: M Summary: After Hogwarts, things fell apart for Lily Evans and James Potter. Three years later, when she shows up in his life to work for the Order, James finds himself pushed back towards her in a situation that's not only dangerous for his life, but also his heart. [First Wizarding War; Second Chances AU] link: ff.net Ao3

Bought

Rating: M Summary: "I've given this this a lot of thought," he says, "And I want to buy you." [First Wizarding World AU featuring Slytherin!Marauders and Death Eater!James] link: ff.net Ao3

Completed Multi-Chapters

If You'd Like

Rating: M Summary: Lily had always driven James mad, but in all the best possible ways. Eventually, he came to realize that he drove her mad right back. A three-part collection of some of Lily and James' relationship "firsts." link: ff.net

Magic

Rating: M Summary: The first time Lily Evans and James Potter kiss, it's an accident. Admittedly, that accident is all her fault, but it's an accident just the same. link: ff.net Ao3

Voyeur

Rating: M Summary: As his seventh year begins and the First Wizarding World grows outside Hogwarts' castle walls, James Potter has one goal in mind: to finally win over Lily Evans. The only problem? Accidentally seeing her with someone else, of course—but it's not like that will stop him. [L/OC to L/J; Marauders seventh year/intro to the First Wizarding War] [Winner of JilyAwards 2020 Fav Smut/NSFW] link: ff.net Ao3

One-Shots

Eighty Days

Rating: M Summary: It took Lily Evans eighty days to come to terms with the fact that she fancied James Potter. Eighty long, miserable days. [sixth year] [set within Voyeur universe, but also stands alone] [rated M for inexplicit sexual scenes] link: ff.net

Hair

Rating: T Summary: By the time Horace Slughorn's annual Slug Club Christmas party rolls around, James Potter hasn't fancied Lily Evans for months, thank you very much. And yet it's her hair that finally undoes him. [written for Jilychallenge July 2021, and featuring matchmaker!Sirius, pining!Lily, and oblivious!James] link: ff.net Ao3

Happy Birthday Baby

Rating: M Summary: "I've been tasked with keeping you away from the common room." "For my party, I assume. You were a good choice—which is why the lads picked you, of course." A one-shot of James' birthday seventh year. PWP. [Companion piece to Eighteen Again, but can be read separately] link: ff.net

Meet the Parents

Rating: M Summary: "James! You can't—did you seriously just pull me away from your parents—who you asked me to come here and meet—so you could try to shag me?" "Yes. Obviously." A one-shot in which Lily meeting James' parents has absolutely nothing to do with actually meeting his parents. [Companion piece to Eighteen Again, but can be read separately] link: ff.net

Meet the Parents II

Rating: M Summary: "Oh, no. No, I'm not about to muck this up with your parents. I want them to like me, Evans, not to find me up here pounding you into your bed." A one-shot in which James meeting Lily's parents has very little to do with actually meeting her parents. [Companion piece to Eighteen Again and sequel-ish to Meet the Parents, but can be read separately] link: ff.net

Notes

dude.

This walrus is fucken lost.

But Wales has lost its collective shit about it. They're generally keeping its location secret to keep people away, but we get updates every day if it's still here, if it's happy, if it's healthy. We think it was in Ireland about two weeks ago, which is interesting, because it is not actually native to Ireland either. Why is it here? No one knows.

In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.

It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.

Some facts about Wally:

She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot

She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village

She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her

She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!

The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet

She’s believed to be two years old

Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female

The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?

He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)

His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck. 

Has he learned from this?

FOLKS HE HAS NOT!

He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:

What an Icon.

Friends, I took the shittest photo there has ever been of a Walrus. But I absolutely did get to see em.

A lifeboat wandered by to check em out at one point, and ey just... sank. Just dropped below the surface like Homer Simpson moving backwards into a hedge. After a while the boat left, and Wally surfaced again.

I can now confirm that ey really, really likes blowing water around like a whale, and also kept eyeing up that buoy next to em.

It's only a little one, but apparently we're getting Serious about this walrus, lads - the police are now stepping in to say that anyone interfering with Wally (examples of this interference to date: throwing things at him, taking boats and paddle boards out to him, throwing fish overboard to tempt him closer, etc) is committing a criminal offence and we must send evidence of Assholes to them. So that's fun!

Meanwhile, the tense stand-off between the RNLI and Wally continues over Who Gets To Use The Lifeboat Slipway. Here is a picture of Wally in full delinquent mode.

Here is the problem with 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato using the slipway of a lifeboat station as a spa bed: sometimes, canoeists get in trouble near Stackpole and need rescuing and then some underwhelmed Welsh coast guard is going to have to try to chase said predatory sea potato off the slipway so they can launch the boat.

Here is the problem with that scenario: an underwhelmed Welsh coast guard basically views 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato as a sort of ornery gelatinous cow, and so will try to do this with, and I am not making this up, a broom. But a ton of overgrown seal has no fear of brooms, so the attempt is not entirely successful under time-sensitive conditions while canoeists are actively drowning 10 miles away.

Solution? An air horn.

Which did work long enough to get the boat out, and then Wally clambered back aboard barely minutes later and fell asleep again. So trick learned, I guess.

Anyway, since I've apparently become Tumblr's primary Wally journalist, I thought I'd go for a cheeky visit again today so I could report on their condition FIRST HAND (you're all welcome, I have incredible integrity). Today I tried using a binocular over my phone camera with was extremely stressful and moderately successful - and I have two pieces of NEWS.

Story the First

Two dinghies with divers aboard suddenly turned up and sailed right up to them. There are Welsh Marine Life Rescue volunteers everywhere, and one woman immediately yelled "YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. MOVE AWAY."

Everyone on the cliff went silent. The boats went closer.

"YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW," yelled the beachmaster. "MOVE AWAY."

Tumblrs, they did not.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME?" she yelled. "MOVE AWAY."

At which point, the whole fucken cliff starts joining in, because Welsh people are Like That.

"Move away!"

"Leave 'im alone, mun!"

"Move away, butt, what you doing!"

"He's the size of an 'orse, bois, can't you see 'im from here?!"

"Bloody move you fucks, you'll scare 'im away again!"

(That last one was, I swear, an eighty year old woman.)

The boats, suddenly being yelled at by a whole cliff of Welsh people, sailed away. Later, we followed the beachmaster who was now on a mission, and found her with a couple of community police officers ripping the shit out of the divers. It was very satisfying.

Story the Second

I mentioned my binocular and phone trick. It came in handy. At first it gave me some very satisfying shots for a distance picture on a phone camera:

But, you know, whatever.

But THEN I got this picture:

which I got 0.256778 seconds before that majestic Arctic beast of purest beautiful nature untamed FELL OFF THE SIDE OF THE SLIPWAY LIKE A CAT THAT GOT TOO CLOSE TO A TABLE EDGE