i feel so upset in a way i dont know how to vocalize or even understand in my head. i feel rejected and inadequate and i avoid relationships for this reason, but every time i let my guard down i just feel so stupid in the end. i know i should pour love into myself- and i do, but part of me just wants to love someone so deeply that they can feel it even when out of contact. i don't know what it is that i do wrong that makes this happen everytime, its like i only attract people that are "good for me" when i'm not ready, but when i feel stable i meet someone who restarts all my progress. and i hate when people say things like "each failed relationship is a lesson of what to expect and accept" because i dont feel like i learn anything other than a new insecurity or that people arent ever as trustworthy as i think they are. of course my mind has a way of overdramaticising things though, so Im aware that everyones not untrustworthy, but at times it feels like it. there are days where i cant help but feel like im meant to be alone, or meant to give love and never recieve, meant to heal but never be healed, and i know it sounds corny but i'm a corny person so get over it.
snowghoul
kaledo-art
2087
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
