zanahoria frita..

im so fucking stubborn

the end cap comes off :)

oh lard

my son he is sick he has every disease

we are nearing peak deviancy

happy back-to-school day

im so clever that its sickening

if i breathe wrong i'll lose him

it got too small for the clip. luckily i realized this eraser has the perfect holes

at what point does this stop being a pencil

he shall be stored like this.

knight is bug to me

really need someone to slonk my shit rn stupid style

goddamnit

me & my ex wife in divorce court trying to get the dog to choose which one of us he wants to go with

I've learned the hard way that you need to make sure everybody present is familiar with this tweet before attempting to quote it or else everyone is going to recreate that photo of those college students holding solo cups staring at you with disgust

and then I had to apologize to my mom for saying “hell yeah white baby.”

Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

🤏🤏🤏

get cropped idiot