– s p l i n t e r

And Geun didn’t even see it coming, didn’t see it at all– -one-minute Jin was joking something ridiculous, pushing his hand up to his chest as Geun laughed, head bowing with it as he closed his tight and shook his head. It was on his lips, a quip birthing to tell him i’m not second in line to anyone, which wasn’t true, and not for a minute did he think it was ( because he was definitely second in line to this, had bid his farewell to letting himself lose his mind and body like this a long time ago ). It died before it could depart from his lips, though, just as his laughter eventually faded to a few huffs of breath here and there, caught somewhere between Jin’s gaze and the way the air was wrapping tight around him, the way he was feeling heady with it. ( It was the fall from the rush, yes, and it still sang so sweet in his veins. It was so good to him, so sweet as it cooled the sweat pouring down his spine and made his lungs feel like there were wings attached to them that pumped him higher with each breath. why did he leave this behind, again? ) There came another huff of a laugh, almost quiet between them, an after-thought—because Jin was staring at him. No, Jin’s gaze was resting on him so heavy, it was pulling Geun’s breath until it was lulled easy again. It was only a few moments, Geun was sure, but the silence wrapped around them long enough that Geun forgot to be affronted by the fact that he was here—simply staring at Jin. Being held witness to Jin. ( They were close, they had to have been; Jin’s hands were on his shoulders, and Geun’s hand still rested wherever Jin propped it during his ploy of dramatics. Geun was aware of it, but he wasn’t bothered by it. )

There he was, held witness by Jin.

It was shaping on his lips, a question, because something was changing in the air but Geun was too lost in his stupor to keep up with it fast enough. The laughter has lulled from raucous, to soft, to none– -and Geun was drunk, but Geun wasn’t unperceptive. Something dipped in Jin’s eyes, Geun knew because he was all but staring into them ( all on account of: he hadn’t looked away quick enough, and now he was caught in whatever quagmire was mulling itself up in Jin ), the longer the short silence stretched, the more Geun realizing it was in some ways tied to the man in front of him and all that was left hanging in the air. Geun was blinking then, trying to clear his head from its sluggish upheaval as his mind tried to alert him that something had changed: the bright, overexposed way the moment had uncurled around them was settling rapidly, steadily, into something more faded. But before he could piece himself together fast enough, Jin’s gaze was dropping from his and onto Geun’s lips, his jaw– -and there Geun went, distracted all over again for an altogether different reason now. When their gazes meet again, whatever question Geun felt like he should ask but didn’t know how to, whatever request he wanted to ask but shouldn’t have—all died on his lips. ( It was a record scratch, freeze frame, stop as soon as Jin looked at him again. Geun was sure the man wasn’t trying to pierce through him, but Geun felt it anyway, felt like Jin was looking past everything he’d stitched back up around him. It was unnerving, felt like leaving the raw end of a nerve exposed— –but it was the alcohol talking, wasn’t it? The sweet symphony of adrenaline treating his body right, wasn’t it?               Geun had never been good at lying to himself, but he would do it again: it was. )

Whatever stasis they had been held in for that brief passing moment of eternity shattered as soon as Jin pulled him in for another embrace. Geun let his hands fall to his side, arms coming up to circle around Jin’s middle with an ease as the grin on his face pulled up again, all too ready to flower. It was lazier this time, arms wrapping loosely yet securely around the other as he rested his head to the side—craning his neck just enough that it would give Jin enough room to work. ( Tactile; skin responding to touch before his mind could reel and catch up to the implications of letting himself get this familiar this quick. )