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One of my favourite Kaeya headcanons is that when he was a small child and a very new member of the Ragnvindr household, still recovering from the physical stress of travelling and the illness caused by the storm on the night he was abandoned, he turned to reading. There was nothing else to do really, and Crepus owned hundreds of books, almost a full library. Some were for Diluc, but he was mostly interested in reading historical gestas - the deeds of knights before him. It was pretty nerdy, and not at all what Crepus had expected, so there were so many volumes of fiction just sitting around gathering dust.
So, poor Kaeya, reeling from the loss of his family and his home, bearing trauma that no child should ever have to know, picked one up in secret, fearing that he might be told off. After lights-out he would take the book he'd chosen out from his hiding place under the bed, and hold it up to the window to read by the moonlight until morning. He adored it, and it certainly helped him improve his language skills (not that he spoke much at this age). Each time he finished a book, he would sneak it back onto the shelf he'd taken it from when no-one was looking and pick out a new one.
For a long time, the healers Crepus hired couldn't figure out what was causing such exhaustion in Kaeya, until one night when he decided to check on him at random, and caught him in the act. Kaeya was petrified, and thought for sure that Crepus would tell him off, maybe punish him in some way. But Crepus just smiled, ruffled his hair, and told him that if he wanted to read he ought to do it during the day so he wouldn't strain his eyes. But he left him in peace - I think Crepus understood that Kaeya had been through so much for his age, and needed space to process things. Getting angry would only harm him, and besides, who doesn't want a well-read child?
So Crepus very happily funded Kaeya's reading habit, and would bring back any requests Kaeya had from the Knights of Favonius library every few days. I even think that Kaeya began to write his own little stories from time to time, and now as an adult, keeps those notebooks hidden away in his home, which is how we get things like Kaeya telling children lampposts are made of trapped souls, and him really fostering Klee's creative streak. All the Mondstadt kids know that Captain Kaeya tells the best stories anywhere, and that if they ask really nicely, he might even sneak a book or two from the library for them...
Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes but we keep living anyways.
a/n: angsty angst yes yes..
Albedo
Some people can't really see what's going inside the head of the elusive chief alchemist of the Knights of Favonius. Especially, within the days after your funeral. He was quieter than usual, staring off in the distance while Durin and Klee look at him worried. They've tried to speak to him but it's hard on them as well. Since, they also lost their other big sibling.
Albedo himself feels there is something missing where his heart should be, a gaping hole of love with nowhere to go, his tears have been shed, and all that sits is your laugh, your smile, and the little ways you showed him how to live and breathe.
Who will swoon at his wit? Who will admire his work while asking a variety of questions that sometimes has even him stumped for an answer. You brought even more light to his world and suddenly—you're gone. His world dimmer and numb as he continues his work. Is it defying fate and the gods of Teyvat themselves if he wishes to bring you back?
Wanderer
How much sorrow could a puppet take? He has taken countless titles and names but being yours was the sweetest thing he'd been called. He usually detests sweets but you wormed your way in either way. Scara could only laugh in bitter sorrow, had he not learnt? How fragile and easy human life is to take? He should've protected you, he should've been fast enough, you shouldn't have been the one to die.
It should've been him instead—now he'll never hear your annoying voice in his ear telling him about your day, he'll never gaze over you—amused, whenever you ate something too sour, worst of all he'll have to live his life without you.
He knew with his lifespan that would've eventually happened but you still had years to be by each other's side. He thought he'd see you grow older, wiser, and still the most beautiful person he's ever loved. But fate is cruel and the gods have taken you from him leaving him in a state of numbness. Sometimes in the dead of night he calls out your name. Even though he knows you're not there to answer with his name on your lips.
He knows Lesser Lord Kusanali and Durin are worried but whenever his eyes close—he swears he can still feel you.
Kaeya
The Calvary captain has certainly had his fill at both Angel share and The Cat's Tail. He wobbles up to his usual seat by the bar expecting Charles but was unfortunately met with the pitying gaze of his older brother—Diluc. He dodges his look, he can't stand letting his brother see him in this sorry state. You've been gone for a few days—heh it wasn't a hard mission surely?
Then why did you come back cold? Was it him? His vision did lose control the moment he saw you. Nothing mattered except you, he remembers begging Barbara, Jean, Varka to do something—anything to bring you back to him.
The sinner himself even prayed to Barbatos himself to help him just this once to save you. Yet, he never answered and you were already buried with all the memories you two shared. Now all Kaeya has done is work, work, and work—recklessly throwing himself in work and alcohol. If he didn't he'd be restless. Kaeya sees his brother soften as he slides him a cool glass of water instead, he doesn't realize it himself but Kaeya was crying staring at the table.
He misses your voice, your anger, your frustrations, and your joy. He misses it all and wished he could keep you company just once more to see you.
Varka
Few have seen the grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius so downtrodden and silent. His usually boisterous laughter dimmed into a polite chuckle when the Knights tried to lift the master's spirits but even they can feel the lost of you. After all, the grandmaster always bragged about you, spoke about your achievements, and how lovely you were to him. He laughed loudly when the Knights complained about how much he kept taking about you.
Though, seeing him now was unnerving. He didn't run away from paperwork and did his duties to the letter. He went around Mondstadt but not with the same fearless bravado and charm.
On some nights, some could hear sobs coming from his office. Other nights, his broken laughter could be heard along a chorus of calling your name. Most likely looking through your photographs. The grandmaster doesn't waver much in his duties but there's always this air of melancholy in his words, his smile, and his actions. He mustn't break down. For you and for Mondstadt.
Easier said than done honestly, he thinks to himself sitting by your gravestone with a bottle of wine and memories shared between you. The good, the bad, and everything in between. You were both supposed to live till you were wrinkly old people loving each other till your dying breath. Varka chuckles lovingly defeated as he pours you both a drink. To us.
Lohen
The peculiar vice captain of the fifth company had always been a mystery to most. He was thrilled in battle and moved as if he was the arrow itself—cold, sharp, and precise. So, it was terrifying seeing him sluggish a moment then switching up to his usual demeanor once there was an audience. Though only few could see the change in him—it wasn't unexpected when his reason to live each day the best he could passed away just a mere two weeks ago.
Lohen, pierced through the monsters like a bullet using his bow when it called for it while dealing the finishing blow with his pole arm. Hes been like this for a while, spacing out after every kill like he sees you off in the distance—waiting to treat his wounds if there were any. Sometimes he did it on purpose just to see you fret over him.If he were a regular knight that would've been an issue but even as the massive axe comes for him—he dodges like he expected it taking the metachurl down in under a minute.
After every battle, his eyes still search for you and when he doesn't see you a maniacal bitter laugh erupts as he walks away waving off people's mixed reactions of confusion, pity, and understanding. You held his heart, his name on your lips, and the smile on his. He doesn't know how long till the numbness reaches his soul without you as he walks off to visit your grave again tonight.
Baizhu
Immortality could have saved the both of you. He wouldn't have to loose you if you were immortal, wouldn't he? Baizhu muses to himself behind the counter of the Bubu Pharmacy where he continued the business. He didn't want to remain idle not when that idleness cost him you.
He wishes he was stronger and more capable. Maybe then—you wouldn't have slipped from his fingers right into to deaths cold hard embrace.
He's spent days crying at night just wishing you were beside him, waiting for him, and just talking to him about nothing and anything in between. It's within those moments that Changseng becomes quiet looking at Baizhu breaking down at night while at day he remains composed and at the point of acceptance like he wasn't begging and clawing for the gods to bring you back to him while he coughs and sobs gripping your side of the bed—it still smelt like you and that brought forth another round of tears of both comfort and yearning.
To hold you again, to see you achieve your wildest dreams, and to be you. Just you. Qiqi sometimes remembers and asks Baizhu where you were and each time he patted her head gently, eyes softening, smile soft yet heavy as he answers, “Just on a trip.” And each time he wishes it were true.
a/n: written before Lohen release so might be a bit ooc
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His breath hitched with every soft caress of your hand on his lipstick stained face. Azul Ashengrotto knew he was done for the moment your lips add another hue of red on his face. He wanted to look away, to get away from the overwhelming feeling you put him through everytime you were this affectionate.
His firm hands grip your sides as he tries to let out a steady breath. He trembles despite the effort when you smile while slithering your arms around his shoulder.
“Are you alright, Azul?” Your words linger just as much as your touch that traces him from his hair to his collar. He heaves out a shaky breath, glasses fogging up, his hand staying in place. “I'm quite alright, my pearl.” It would be convincing if he wasn't turning the shade of Sebastian from the little mermaid.
“I'll believe you when you stop looking like boiled octopus.” You lean down leaving another kiss on his neck, then his jaw, taking a moment to look at Azul. You gingerly take his glasses off.
“It'll get in the way.” A cheeky grin spreads on your face. He sputters for a moment when you finally kiss his lips. His eyes widen, his grasp on you momentarily tightening before his body relaxed beneath you, eyes shut—melting into the kiss. You pull back after a few seconds while Azul tries to regain his senses eyes fluttering open.
“... One more please, angel.” His eyes dart to your lips hand moving away from your waist, “or a few..” Azul smiles like he just found a new loophole on a contract. You lean in teasingly close, “Go ahead, Azul.” Testing the lipstick on your boyfriend was definitely a good idea.
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