What exactly is he doing here? Aki has no idea. Sure, he agreed to this - he knew what it entailed, he knew it wouldnât be easy, but at the time it seemed like a decent idea. At least, it seemed like trying to talk about it would give him some kind of opportunity to try and find a way to move on. And if he can help Xavier in the process.. well, thatâs something too, right? besides, maybe itâll be easier to talk to someone he knows he can trust than a stranger. God only knows what that would be like, trying to talk to someone he doesnât even know about the tangled mess in his head.
So here he is, stepping awkwardly into Xavierâs office and doing his best to stay calm, even though he knows whatâs to come isnât going to be easy. âNo problem.â A lie, they both know it. âHopefully I can actually give you something to work with.â He says as he settles down on the couch, hands clasped tight in his lap as Xavier explains. âShould be fine. Itâs not like my schedule is full right now.â Aki answers with a weak, empty laugh.
âUh - right, okay.â Wherever heâd like. Wherever heâd like is back in his bed at Lauraâs place, hiding under the covers because even thinking about talking through any of this seems near impossible. Heâs not sure what heâs supposed to do, how heâs supposed to explain to Xavier, to anyone how he feels, but.. he told Xavier he would try. âI.. have no idea where I should start, to be honest.â He says with a weak laugh, trying - and failing - to loosen up. âI havenât really talked to anyone yet. Every time I try it just - doesnât work.â
Itâs clear Aki is feeling a bit uncomfortable, exposed even -- Xavier makes a small note of it as he speaks, because itâs what he has to do. It helps them both, if he can double check his notes, and see how his body language changes talking about it, and helps him remember what he exactly says. Plus itâs required for the class, to have patient notes. Both of them are feeling a bit tense, on the spot -- and Xavier canât even begin to imagine how hard this is for Aki. If heâs feeling a bit overwhelmed, the sheer choice of talking points must be hell for his nephew.
âThatâs understandable, really, and more common than youâd expect. We donât have to start with the -- with what happened. Letâs start a little simpler, instead, something less broad. How are you feeling this morning, about these sessions?â He pauses, and gives a bigger smile, chuckling a bit. âYou can be completely honest, too. It wonât upset me or hurt my feelings, promise.â