(Also gonna tag some mutuals but u dont have to participate of course :3 @fluffymintthecat @that-one-weird-simp @stinkymonkey3 @azulin-bp @xannymay @kam-arcfire)
OMG!!! I LITERALLY LOST THIS! I'm so sorry... It's so Beautiful and I love the Blue Canvas... it's so precious to me! THANK YOUUU!! .... I'm so sorry I'm late ಥ╭╮ಥ
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I've been working on it for a little while now, and I'm still at the beginning of the script. A few new sprites have already been added, and two backgrounds have been updated! Since the previous update introduced a lot of new sprites, most of the upcoming scenes won't require many additional ones, although there will still be a few special scenes and brand-new backgrounds.
Before starting this update, I mentioned that I was cleaning up the game's code. Over the course of development, I've learned a lot and significantly improved the way I program, which has made everything much faster and easier to work on.
The coffee shop scene is a bit long, so I only have two screenshots for you today
Eu já venho trabalhando na atualização a algum tempo, e ainda stou no começo do roteiro. Alguns novos sprites foram adicionados, e dois backgrounds foram atualizados! Já que n atualização anterior eu adicionei varios novos sprites, boa parte das cenas não vai precisar de novos desenhos, mas ainda pode ter algumas cenas especiais com novoc backgrounds também.
Antes de começar essa atualização eui mencionei que estava limpando o codigo. Com o desenvolvimento de tudo eu aprendi bastante e melhore bastante a forma de programar mais facil e isso vai deixar as coisas ao menos mais rapidas
A cena do café é um pouco longa, eu tenho apenas 2 prints por hoje.
Summary: Doctor doesn't understand what love is, but somehow he knows that he loves you. This is him trying to encapsulate that messy, terrifying feeling in the bloody, visceral language that he knows so well. The one he's afraid of letting you hear.
Warnings for description of blood, gore and viscera — the reader isn't harmed and Doctor does not want to harm them, he's just learning a feeling he's not used to.
Read on AO3
You are so beautiful like this.
Not just beautiful either— handsome. Adorable. Ethereal even, though Doctor didn't like the idea of equating your visual appeal to something immaterial and metaphorical. He operated on the physical and the real, something he could hold and touch and observe to an almost obsessive degree. You aren't some fairytale or symbolic presence— you are real, a person that he can interact with in ways that his brain understood.
And yet, despite the physicality allowing him a constant excuse to observe and an object of fascination, Doctor is still so utterly confused by you. Confused by the way you make his heart race as though it would leap out of his chest anytime you so much as smiled at him. When you laughed at his jokes. When you listened to his theories. Entertained his questions. Joined in his dry, oftentimes dark humor even when the others didn't find it all that funny.
Those moments contained such serene joy that Doctor wondered if those feelings bubbling up inside of him are why humans could be so religious or spiritual— as if their bodies couldn't contain devotion so large and frightening towards a being outside of themselves that they had to place it elsewhere entirely.
A theory for another time, perhaps. One you might even allow him to ramble on about if the time was right and the evening late enough, with you unable to sleep against the ambiance of the circus— Doctor can never ignore the delight he feels knowing you trust him in such a vulnerable fashion. To sleep unguarded… it spoke volumes of affection that words couldn't do justice.
It isn't normal, after all, for a rabbit to slumber under a wolf's gaze.
While it's not the first time you had fallen asleep in his main tent while he worked, it's the first time you'd done so in his medical chair (which was amusing in itself). Something that was a source of terror for others, but a place of comfort for you— if Doctor was a reader of things beyond medical textbooks and botanical guides, he might have thought of something poetic about the situation, a certain beauty to be found in the layers of complete irony.
… he'd stopped working sometime ago. Though the pen was still gripped in his hand and the papers of notes and chemical results askew across his desk, all Doctor could do is stare at you sleeping so peacefully on the chair, body curled up with a blanket you had taken with you from elsewhere in the circus. Possibly Pierrot's tent, maybe from your own items that came with you when you moved out of that little apartment. Maybe somewhere else altogether.
It doesn't matter to Doctor precisely where the blanket came from— all the same, it's not his body wrapped around yours. Not his feathers caressing your skin, feeling your heartbeat thump low and rhythmic in the center of your chest. It isn't his hands on your chest, his teeth at your pulse—
Ah. Those feelings again. The ones that made his heart begin to ache. Not… painfully. Just… ache. Like a wound that has healed over but not fully knitted together. Like there was ice in his chest cavity, cold and numbing and sharp and seeping. Of course that wasn't the case; the chance of having any sort of cardiac issue was rather nonexistent, and Doctor knew he didn't literally have ice lodged inside of his ribcage.
That would be rather illogical.
But still, he ached merely watching you sleep and breathe and exist near him. So gentle, so fragile, so… lovely.
"Sometimes I wish I knew how to say these things I feel for you, sweetie," Doctor murmurs, voice filling the quiet space. "I don't have the words you do. You are so very good with your words— I have never wanted to hear someone speak as much as I do with you."
He pauses, listening to the dull, gentle, beautifully rhythmic beating of your heart. A heart he has heard quicken and skip and slow and thensome.
Such a beautiful, lovely thing it is.
For a moment he feels… jealous. Jealous? Yes, he supposes it is jealousy weaving through him, leaving the creature unable to concentrate on his work the longer you lay there vulnerable and unconscious. Jealousy is an… especially strange emotion— it isn't confusing by any stretch of the imagination, but Doctor is left powerless against its powerful weight all the same.
"I can't chase you like Pierrot, charm you like Harlequin," Doctor muses to himself, looking down at the scalpel in his hand and how it slices through the flesh of a specimen he probably won't be able to dissect properly. He's too distracted. So he continues, "I am not as diligent as Ticket Taker nor as confident as Jester— and I don't believe my words or hands could ever be as gentle as hers were."
He sighs, dropping the metal tool with a clatter against the metal tray, the scent of old blood making Doctor feel more agitated than relaxed. He allows himself a moment to change his gloves not for himself, but for you. You, the little human who needs to be treated gently in comparison to them. The human with a sweet smile. The human who is so stubborn. The human who, despite everything they had been through together and individually, seems to care about them all a great deal.
Love and jealousy and hunger and ache— to Doctor they're all the same feelings, muddled and gray-toned inside of his colorblind heart. But he wants so badly to see the shades, the nuances. Some part of him desires nothing more than understanding. But when understanding fails, observation and study often make up for it. Maybe that's why Doctor enjoys his experiments— to try and understand all the parts of the world that make no sense in a way his brain.
He stalks towards your sleeping form, voice low and gentle, but dripping with something he couldn't describe. It tastes almost like blood.
"You know how hard it is to let you walk out of this tent? The restraint I have to enact so that I don't strap you down to this very share you seem to be oh-so-comfortable in?"
You don't answer, obviously unconcious and (given how you snuggle even deeper into the blanket) completely unaware of Doctor's own monologue.
He huffs. How can frustration and affection swirl so perfectly within him at such a sight? How can he make you understand all of these feelings threatening to burst from his chest and bleed down his torso?
"I want to love you, sweetie, but I do not know how. I don't know what love is like— I just know…" he sighs, mask suddenly feeling too tight across his face. It's an annoying sensation that reminds him of when he's molting, all itchy and uncomfortable. "… I want you near me. All the time. I want your smile. Your laughter. I want you to tell me about your day. I want to share space with you, to see you fall asleep on my chair and my bed—"
Doctor has to chuckle, breaking him off from his thoughts. He barely remembered to sleep in his own bed— but maybe with you waiting for him, he'd remember more often.
"It is a shame you are not a monster," he finally says, grief filling every syllable. "I cannot bite you. Cannot… mark you. My kind is… not intimate in the way humans are. Familiar, intimate even? You hold my hand without reason and ask me questions without needing the answer. So confusing of you, sweetie…"
He sighs, reaching a hand up to adjust the mask over his true face, wishing for a moment he could take it off and lean over you like a ravenous phantom just to indulge in the addictive taste of your flesh and blood.
Oh, the taste…
You can't wake up now. You can't open your eyes to see him like this, shamefully feral and on the edge of sanity. You're not supposed to see him like this, the terrifying creature that he is to most humans. You're not supposed to be afraid of him— not you. Never you.
"I want…." Doctor takes in a deep breath. It's amazing how big his hand is compared to yours, the size difference stark and stunning in how he holds the headrest of the chair in a hapless attempt to calm himself.
"I want to hold you. Tight. Tight enough that your body melds with mind. I want our ribs entwined and our hearts to beat together— every drop of blood, every scrap of viscera—
I want to be so entirely part of you and you of me that nobody could identify one from the other. I want to feel your pulse sing for me, I want our organs to dance together and our veins to knit into eachother like a mating veil so that we are always and forever complete, I want—"
He stops, words and noise ceasing entirely the moment you begin to stir. Doctor immediately as back and adjusts himself, even reaching a hand up to his leather mask to make sure it was still on tight and secure— you don't need to wake up to that yet. Maybe one day he'd let you see him. Maybe one day.
"Hmm…. Doct….tor?"
Your eyes flutter open, a soft and small motion that he notices instantly. His blood is still searing inside of him, choking him for a sense of decency he knows that humans feel most comfortable with. He has to force an answer across his tongue and pretend he doesn't want to grab you and secure you onto his table so that you could never ever leave him—
"You fell asleep," he says, the act sublime. "I was… about to clean up for the evening. Didn't mean to disturb you, my sleepy, oblivious little patient."
You're too groggy to pick up the odd wording. Doctor tilts his head after a moment.
"Are you well enough to go home?"
You blink, then let out a yawn. Doctor suddenly understands all of the things that Pierrot goes on about whenever he's being overly sentimental, all the things that he once pondered about. Oh, how suddenly Doctor begins to understand it all.
This wretched, terrifying, beautiful, obsessive feeling they call love.
Because there's nothing in the universe that could compare to the emotions inside of Doctor's body soul and heart when your soft lips part to answer him with such delicious honesty:
"…Could I stay with you tonight? I'm… really tired actually."
It's a good thing you can't hear their heartbeats, because otherwise Doctor wouldn't have been able to hide his utter elation. He wouldn't be able to hide the way his body tenses at the thought of you sleeping next to him— he'd probably end up wearing his uniform, and you'd probably ask him about it, but none of that mattered when he knew he'd spend the quiet hours of the early morning watching you slumber with his hands settled on your waist.
He could count your breathing rate. He could notate all the blemishes on your skin. He could attempt to calculate the rhythm of your pulse and how your body relaxed in unconscious.
"Of course you can, sweetie," he finally says, pretending to be feeling everything he isn't in that very moment. "I enjoy having you around me." I love you. "You are always welcome in my tent." I want you to stay forever.
Doctor doesn't know for sure what love is, but he thinks he's on the right track— perhaps some more experiments are in order.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Good news, everyone! The plush from Gimme Swag has released and is now available for purchase!
Just go to the link above to order your favorite yandere boy! Please be aware the current estimated shipping date is between December 30th and January 30th!
This campaign is in partnership with Gimme Swag, and it's only available for a limited time!
We know many of you were worried about missing the first pre-order, so this is your chance to finally bring Pierrot home and have him in your arms!
The campaign will only be available for 30 days. Once it ends, the plush will no longer be available for purchase, and there won't be any extra stock available.
So be sure to keep an eye on the campaign dates so you don't miss your chance!
Today is Ticket Taker's birthday! Thank you all for your kindness! I've seen so many amazing fanarts and works of art! Thank you so much!
I'm a little delayed, but I finally managed to finish the additional artwork today, even though I still don't like how it turned out >.<
Hey everyone! We have a quick update for those who follow us here, who were able to be part of the preorder many months ago for the Pierrot plush from Gimme Swag!
In case you didn't see the email, the remaining balance for the preorder charge will be processing on June 30th!
And for those who were not part of the preorder, Gimme Swag's campaign will be launching on the 30th as well so you can purchase your own Pierrot plush then. The plush will be available for purchase for 30 days!
We will of course share that link here once the campaign is live, so keep an eye out for it!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
THIS IS BEAUTFIUL AHHH! I LOVE THIS AND THAT CUTE BLACK CAT AHHH!!! I SEE MY NAME IN THE ENVELOPS TOO!!! <#3 Thank you so much and just want to add @tazz-was-here's contributions as <3 she does so much for the construction/posts/organization of the blog <3
@aswwtteatime: To Doctor: are you scared of apples? :>
I don't think I understand the meaning to the question, sweetie. I am not intimidated by any particular fruit.
@will-of-the-wisps: To Everyone: Do you have any allergies (such as medication, food, environments, etc.) that we should be aware of for your safety? Doctor might be more adept to answer this question.
I don't think discussing my patients would be appropriate. Though, if you're curious about me, I can tell you I dislike peaches. They make me itch.
@feral-soup-lives: To Doctor: what is the most beautiful sight you've ever laid eyes on?
Baby rabbits being born. They're adorable. Tiny little things, all white and covered in blood and amniotic fluid. Beautiful.
@artsy-little-mushroom: I have a question for the Doctor
As someone who works as an autopsy tech when I am not doing my art, would that be a job you'd be interested in? When someone is found dead they immediately get brought to us IMMEDIATELY after they are found dead, so we work on everything from someone who died 30 min ago to someone who was just found but died months ago. We usually dissect the individual to extract almost organs including the brain
Wait, that's what it's called? Hm... I may have some experience with that. Though I'm still not entirely sure whether the organs go in the refrigerator as well… ah. Forget I said that, sweetie.
@craykaycee: Hello~ oh what fun! Happy anniversary!! Hmmm to Doctor: I'm studying the arts and have trouble depicting anatomy and muscle groups, would you be available to lend a hand to help with my studies?
Once you've opened enough bodies, finding each muscle becomes second nature. They're all exactly where they're supposed to be. I could point them out for you sometime, sweetie.
@unabashedmongerfrienddean...(the rest of the username cut-off): To the Doctor: Based on your observations, why do you think Harlequin goes through the trouble of angering Pierrot? Is it for attention? Or something else? I can't imagine he enjoys being stabbed so much.
Harlequin's judgment becomes unreliable under certain conditions, but It would be inaccurate to describe the behavior as attention-seeking.
@ilsu-yeet-death: To Doctor: do you keep a record on your crew's medical details? Is it difficult to care for everyone when I assume you don't have much overlap with human physiology, or does data on other animal classes make up for that?
Let's just say I maintain rather extensive records, sweetie. However, your assumption is incorrect. I am thoroughly familiar with both human and animal physiology. I've spent many years studying each.
@k4fz1el: To Doctor: Oioi Doutor, eu tenho uma perguntinha pra você!~ Since you're the one who takes care of your family when they're sick or injured, what would happen if you were too unwell to not be able to take care of yourself? Would any of them have enough knowledge to help you?
Notálgico , ouvir esse idioma sweetie. Everyone knows how to handle most situations by now. I've also left detailed notes regarding certain specialized procedures, should they require guidance.
@dismal-angel909: To doctor: Im really into psychology! Its a very fascinating thing, do you think that if you learned how to use it maybe you could give more care (or fear) into your patients? It is a double edged sword if one learned the tricks to the mind!
Psychology is a vast and remarkably complex field. That said, I believe I'm generally capable of communicating the appropriate message to my patients, even without formal expertise in it.
@asewine: To Doctor: I've noticed there are many...dolls? puppets? in your tent--hanging from the ceiling, lying on the floor, everywhere. I happen to be interested in this kind of thing. Could you tell me more about them? Do you have any favorite ones?
Fascinating things, aren't they? I wouldn't say I have a favorite, however. If you'd like to learn more about them, you'll have to visit my tent another day, sweetie.
