cmon and slam

yurts

house tents

were definitely onto something.

im actually inside something. my cozy yurt.

ive got two slices of pizza in the fridge if anybody wants some

if nobody wants it Ill eat it

going once, going twice

the pizza is doing a great job of filling the void left by unrequited love and absentee friends. very dleisous

i love the crunch

take it from him folks he loves the crunch

Why does he need glue? What is he making?

👏 none 👏 of 👏 your 👏 business 👏

I thought this was kink thing until I realized it was reblogged by staff of tumblr….unless it is a kinky thing…..

👏 get 👏 your 👏 mind 👏 out 👏 of 👏 the 👏 gutter 👏

You’ve heard of Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary. Now get ready for New Enemies Junior Cat Battleground.

the moment I saw this woman I was completely overcome with the feeling that she was, at that very moment, somehow divorcing me

when I first tweeted these I had to try to hide them from my two psychologist parents but then they got so big that my neighbor told them about it and so they sat me down to ask if I needed help.

randy made a song about two capybaras fucking

I need to end all my correspondences with “Get me” now

This is