rage & love

“Are you ever going to stop saying I’ve to not hate you?” A smile played on her lips as she eyed him, eyebrow raising. “I think we’re pretty on point with the no hating you thing, but I guess that’s the smart thing. You’ve been released whatever it is…”

Carson felt a wave of comfort, some sense of homecoming, as they slipped into each other’s embraces and Wyatt told him he loved him. This was where he was meant to be. Maybe he wasn’t such a cynic after all. “You too.”

Carson found a smile after Wyatt turned back to him and started to loosen up his shoulders. Just the tiniest bit was enough. Carson could work with that. “It better be,” he said, coming closer and wrapping an arm around Wyatt’s waist. “We’re making it last, I hope you know.” With Wyatt graduating after summer and Annie… Carson just knew she had a hand in all this somehow. And he knew anything she “helped” them with would come back to bite him in the ass. But for right this minute, he didn’t mind.

Listening, she followed him in and with a nod to what he said she got it, maybe she wouldn’t ever understand but now Wyatt was a walking-talking attraction. The boy incarcerated to just be announced he was innocent yet Skyler knew he wasn’t. The girl closed the door behind them and spoke lowly. “Okay… I just need to know… Why are you released? What do the police think they know?”

Carson followed him in, trying his best to shrug off Wyatt’s response. He didn’t want to think about it, for just a few minutes. “Stop apologizing,” Carson murmured, stepping forward and taking Wyatt’s hand. “I’m just glad you’re back. I-” He couldn’t finish, didn’t know what to say. He squeezed his hand gently.

“I know.”  Wyatt gnawed at his lower lip, squeezing Carson’s hand gently.  It had been hell, being away from everyone he loved.  A part of Wyatt knew he deserved it, though.  He stared around at the box-filled room, a chill running up his spine, and then he turned back to Carson.  “It’s really, really good to see you again.  To be with you.” 

“Okay, no, don’t say that.” A frown crawled onto her perked lips before  she leaned  down and gently helped Wyatt up, her eyebrows arching together as concern filtered her small features.”Things won’t be the same that’s obvious, I have Dylan to think about… But you’re out Wyatt, give me a smile at least.” She moved and opened his door for him, flashing the boy a smile gently, it was obvious everything which had happened really fucked with him. Skyler wasn’t about to make his life harder.

Sure, Wyatt had not exactly admitted what he did to Riley in the female’s room that night, she simply confirmed it for herself, but the look in her friend’s eyes: the guilt. A look the brunette knew too well from her mother whenever she would relapse and drink then proceed to lie. The police had the right man, so why were they saying otherwise? How do you go on with your life, even after being accused for murder, she had to see him for herself.

It was brief but Wyatt definitely saw the brunette coming straight towards him before he quickly tried to duck away and collided with his door, she slowed her pace to  contain her own laughter but immediately spoke up. “What? Did’ja already forget how to open a door? Wow, prison really does a number on someone who was wrongly accused of murder.” Perhaps she should have kept her voice down but Skyler wasn’t quite aware if she was angry or just worried.

Their last encounter had been bittersweet, but Wyatt wouldn’t hold it against Skyler if she was pissed off at him.  Even now, he had no idea why he’d done what he had.  “Guess I’m just so used to the bars.”  He mumbled weakly, curling into himself at the tone of her voice.  Needless to say, some of his cellmates, if not all of them, hadn’t been too pleased with him getting out early, and he had the marks to prove it.  

Carson couldn’t believe he hadn’t been here right when it all happened, but he was busy dealing with more of Annie’s bullshit. He was furious with himself for not being here for Wyatt. Even if he couldn’t do much, just to offer some kind of support. He hurried up the dorm stairs and stepped into the hallway to find Wyatt trying to get into his room without much luck. “Wy-” he called quietly, at his side in seconds. “Need a hand?” he asked with a small smile, opening the door for him.

Hearing Carson’s voice after a week apart damn near made Wyatt weak in the knees.  He was on edge, of course--how could he blame anyone for being on edge nowadays?  Swallowing away the lump in his throat, Wyatt nodded, a small smile on his lips.  “Um.  Yeah. “  He stepped inside, putting the box next to the few other boxes he’d dropped there within the hour.  “Thanks.”  He turned to look at Carson, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “The lawyer told me not to call anyone. I wouldn’t have listened to him if I hadn’t already...you know, had that rendezvous. So...I’m sorry.  For just--showing up, I guess.”

unsurprisingly, wyatt’s roommate had bailed following the controversy, so he was left with a dorm all to himself.  toting the last box of his things, wyatt was heading down the hall when he spotted a familiar face.  the media had turned into a carnival--it was a miracle he’d gotten through the backdoor in one piece.  still, wyatt froze, his heartbeat unsteady in his ears as his hands began to clam up.  he knew what he’d done, and he was ready to face the outcry of retaliation against his release.  still didn’t make him any less nervous, though. letting out a curse under his breath, wyatt turned and crashed into the door of his dorm, forgetting that he hadn’t turned the handle.  all he could do was hope the person didn’t see him.

Carson looked back down at his ring, bloodshot eyes wide, and held Wyatt’s hand in his own. “Of course I will.” He nodded, looking back up with a sad smile. Or maybe more… Pained. He already missed Wyatt so much.

Carson shrugged a little, but he wanted just to listen to Wyatt’s voice for hours longer. All night. All day. The rest of forever. But by the time he’d finished, Carson was already reaching up to kiss him gently. It lasted a while. It would’ve lasted longer, if Carson had his way. But he knew better. “I’ll come visit you. Okay? Don’t tie things off too well, ‘cause you’re not getting rid of me yet.”

“Who said I wanted to get rid of you?”  Wyatt grinned, kissing Carson back with an eagerness.  He felt his heart lurch, smile turning down briefly.  “Believe me, I’d love it if you tried, but I don’t know how likely it’s gonna be for you to get through.  Just--don’t punch a guard, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, yeah?”  

Carson didn’t want to let go, but Wyatt pulled away and Carson remembered they should probably step inside. He locked the door behind Wyatt, glad his roommate had promptly moved out after he found out about all this. There was also the fact that Carson beat the shit out of him after he said some unfavorable things about Wyatt. But for now, he was the only one here. He liked it. Sort of. “I’m glad you did,” he said quietly, coming closer. Maybe if he stayed on top of him, he’d never have to go. “But I’m not gonna ask how. Just in case you get caught.”

Carson thought he might be dreaming- or, no, more like hallucinating- when Wyatt told him he loved him. He’d been waiting for those words, almost without knowing it. “I love you too,” he whispered, voice breaking. He moved forward to kiss him, grab him, but Wyatt pulled something out of his pocket. “What- Why did you want your class ring, of all things?” Carson asked, almost ready to laugh. It seemed silly, with everything they’d been dealing with. But he nodded enthusiastically when Wyatt asked how he was. “Yeah. I’m good. Just… Worried about you.” Wyatt would be able to tell he was lying, but Carson didn’t want to worry him. If nothing else, he was sure Wyatt could see how exhausted he was.

“Seriously?”  Wyatt raised his eyebrows, a big smile threatening to crack away at his face despite the circumstances.  “Isn’t that what all the sweethearts do these days?  Or--maybe in the fifties.  I dunno.”  He shrugged, fussing with the ring for a moment before really taking the time to study Carson’s expression.  “I was hopin’ you’d hold onto it.”  

Henry considered hugging Wyatt but another reaction overwhelmed him. He gave Wyatt a hard shove. “I’m so fucking mad at you right now.” His voice sounded hurt, “you’re going to leave me and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Henry had always had Wyatt’s back and had helped him get out of sticky situations before, but there was nothing he could do about this one.

“It’s fine,” he spat out, “you have to put yourself in his shoes, man. What would you do if you had found out that Riley killed me and Dylan knew about it? I took care of it anyway. I acted like I didn’t know anything.” Henry really couldn’t blame Dylan for wanting to kill him. He would feel the same in his position. But that didn’t mean Henry was going to roll over and let Dylan kick him to death. He would fight.

“You fucked up big time,” he agreed, letting out a nervous laugh, “I’m going to miss you so much, man.” His life wasn’t going to be the same from that point forward. Wyatt had been in his life since they were in actual diapers. Henry wondered if he even knew how to live without his best friend.

“I know you are.  I know.”  Wyatt’s lower lip trembled.  He’d been associated with Henry for so long that it was hard to remember an instance where they’d had to deal with things as separate individuals.  He was overwhelmed by Henry’s infallible loyalty--he really lied, just like that.

He reveled in the silence for a moment, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “I’ll miss you more.”  He murmured, wondering if he actually deserved the luxury of being able to miss someone.  What he’d done was awful, selfish, and misguided.  Wyatt didn’t know if he could be seen as anything but selfish these days.  

Henry didn’t feel comfortable answering the door late at night. He half expected it to be Dylan when he opened the door. The boy had been avoiding him ever since the Formal. It was just a matter of time before Dylan found out that he had lied about how much he knew. It scared the hell out of him that he was able to lie so easily to Dylan. He didn’t deserve that. His best friend had died and he had every right to he gutted. The closest Henry could relate was having Wyatt taken away by the police and even then he knew it didn’t compare.

The moment he saw Wyatt in the hallway he grabbed his shirt, pulling him in quickly. Henry shut the door and blocked it, “What the hell are you doing here?” He couldn’t even say he was happy about the visit. Henry was doubtful that he was out on good terms and quite frankly, he wa worried that Dylan would catch them. “Dude, I’m not trying to be a dick. But I feel like I’m seeing a fricking ghost right now.”

Wyatt let out a yelp when Henry pulled him into the safety of the dorm.  “I --”  He chewed on his lower lip, shoulders sagging as if he was a puppy with it’s tail between its legs.  “Not a ghost.  It’s me.  I...had some loose ends to tie up.”  He admitted.

Carson hadn’t left his room much this past week. Taylor checked on him. Dakota too, actually. He thought, cynically as ever, that she probably wanted to make sure another Greenfield boy didn’t OD on her watch. But he wasn’t on her watch, so if he did decide none of it was worth it anymore, she shouldn’t feel bad. Those were the stupid, ugly things that actually made him kind of laugh, in a decidedly fucked up way.

The days sucked because he couldn’t go anywhere without people whispering, watching him. He knew he looked like shit. It was no big deal, though. He was figuring shit out. He was allowed to do that, wasn’t he?

But the nights, staring at his laptop, wondering what Wyatt was doing… They were far worse. Especially considering just how bad his insomnia had been. Finally, finally he was just beginning to doze off, chin tilting toward his chest, when a knock on the door scared the shit out of him. He jumped, dropped his laptop, and had to take a second to catch his breath before he could answer the door. And when he did… He had to catch his breath all over again. Carson froze, momentarily, and then wrapped Wyatt in a tight, close hug. He never wanted to let go.

The first thing Wyatt noticed was that Carson, while he looked like shit, was still as handsome as ever.  He was really going to miss being able to just walk over to his dorm.  He held Carson back tighter, running his fingers through his hair and letting a long breath fall from his lips.  “I had to see you.”  He mumbled, pulling back to catch a glimpse of his emerald eyes, which--he noticed, didn’t sparkle this time.

“The drama club?” The dancer gasped dramatically for fun, grinning a little more. “Leia and Kat would both have my head, I’ll pass thanks.” Woman. If she wasn’t completely devastated she would have smacked the back of his head for calling her that but she held back any forms of violence, at least for now.

Ooft. Exclaimed the girl as Wyatt took her by surprise again and wrapped her into a tight hug, her eyes welling up again but she fiercely blinked them back. “Oh god, you’re going to make me cry.” Skyler wrapped her arms around Wyatt protectively. “I’ll consider it,” She teased. “I think I’m cutting alcohol out of my system, I know I was surprised too. I just… I think it’s best we all avoid it, yeah?” Part of Skyler wanted to spill to Wyatt what Annie had on her but old news really did not seem important anymore, his life was technically done for. 

“Well, for the whatever they say for hard times stay strong in there, ‘ight? Carson, Kota and I, we love you, honest. You did a lot for me here, taking my mind away from home, and I cannot thank you enough.” Skyler placed a firm peck on his cheek, her hands holding his face to look at her. “Promise you’ll be okay?”

Wyatt buried his face in the crook of Skyler’s neck for a moment, taking the sweetness of the limited freedom he’d granted himself.  He was bound to get into more trouble, but there was nothing he couldn’t handle.  “For realsies?”  He pulled back and looked at her, then gave a short laugh.  “Not to be like, oh, me of little faith.  I--that’s awesome.  So, then....knock back a water or fruit punch or something.”  He ruffled her hair playfully before giving another bear hug.

The mention of Dakota and Carson made him shiver, and Wyatt sniffled audibly.  “And...and Henry.  You gotta keep an eye on him.  Because they’re not gonna take this lightly.  I just--wish there was some way I could still keep an eye on you.  I’m not even sure if they’ll allow you guys to come in.”  He was doing his best not to cry, but it was proving to be a difficult task.  “I’ll manage.  I promise.” He took a pause, as if memorizing the scene around him.  “God, I’m gonna fuckin’ miss you.”

Skyler bitterly laughed at the comment about Dylan, looking away as her head shook. “Only I get to mention my brother, not you, not after what you put him through, okay?” That had to be clear very quickly, of course she wasn’t going to say anything, Dylan would definitely be done with her for good and that was a heartache she avoided at all cost. 

It took a moment but she relaxed her shoulders, taking a couple of deep breaths and exhaling them calmly before she turned to face Wyatt with an expressionless face. “Testify? I don’t know what you’re talking about sir, I barely knew Wyatt, I think we shared a class together? I really couldn’t say, Riley and I, we were friends but I really hope you got the bastard.” Her lips quirked into a small smile as she finished. “I’d never testify against you.”

Slowly, she moved towards the boy then past him to where her crown sat, opening the bedside table’s drawer she gently peeled out Wyatt’s crown for King and moved back towards him, gently sitting the crown on his head. “I know you didn’t really even get to see it but you’re handsome, and you will always be my favourite drinking buddy.”

“Right.  Fair enough”  Wyatt gnawed at his lower lip, nodding in agreement.  To be honest, he’d probably have Dylan on the list of apologies if Dylan wasn’t guaranteed to beat the shit out of him.  After everything that’d happened, Wyatt still stuck by the belief that he deserved any and all punishment. 

He watched Skyler cautiously, almost curiously, and rolled his eyes at the near theatrics.  “Should really think about joining the drama club.”  He muttered, eyes threatening to spill over with the tears he’d held in since he’d gotten into the back of the police car.  “Just--I don’t know...listen to your heart?  Or whatever the fuck they say to do in hard times.” Still, he was moved by her words, and he did his best to offer her a smile.

Wyatt’s chest felt tight with the realization that this was going to be the last time in a long time that he’d hang out with Skyler.  “Shucks, woman.  I don’t--wait, this isn’t made of plastic?! Shocking.”  He couldn’t help it, then--he tugged the girl forward into a fierce hug.  “Knock one back for me later, yeah?”