Wichita

He just stared at her now and wondered why he had ever slipped that band onto her finger. He stared and stared until the very boundaries of his being inflamed with agitation.

Never be pregnant? He wanted children. They had gone over this.

Hadn’t they?

“What I’ve done? You’re standing there telling me that this is going to be a fruitless marriage - what the hell am I supposed to say to that huh? That I’m glad and that I’m sorry? But you really need to get your priorities straight if you think that’s going to happen. I’m not apologizing. I. Don’t. Apologize.’

He never had. not to anyone. That was probably why so many people were dead because of him. they expected too much. But killing Wichita? He wasn’t sure if he could.

Although right now she was testing that sorely.

He finally ascended the stairs, steps easy and taken carefully. One and then another and then another until he was standing mere feet from her looking at her expectantly.

“So-” he began, hands coming up to rest on his hips as he looked over at her. She really did not care about the level of fear he was trying to emanate onto her. “-when are you going to make me a father?”

How could she marry someone so stupid? Wichita rolled her eyes as he yelled up at her. She knew he wanted kids. She knew that when she met him. Even though she didn’t even know Carl existed then, Wichy could tell he was good with children. Not so much with grown ups. She had played along when they were dating and then had found a clever excuse or two to stall the conversation of ever having kids of their own.

Then when she found out that Rick was actually divorced, with a kid, things changed. Wichita suddenly had a whole new husband. After learning they had more in common then either of them ever imagined, they became too busy to talk about kids of their own. Lori was dead, Carl was theirs and they had appearances to maintain. Not to mention, the desires that were left to satisfy.

But he had to have known there were parts of her she just couldn’t give up. Not even for him.

“Rick, I am not one of those little brats you push around and toy with. I’m your wife. That means you apologize to me and only me. Especially when you screw up this badly.”

There was still that edge of competition, knowing he had been married once before. Loving Rick was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she wasn’t going to give him up. She would have everything she wanted. Her love for him and her lust for power. A baby would be the one thing Lori had given him, that Wichita would never be able to.

Once he approached her, she stood her ground. He was not going to just intimidate her. Wichita had been off her game lately, but not enough to let him win. She was sick-- a cold wasn’t going to ruin her.

Not that he hadn’t thought of it.

When he heard Wichita come in he didn’t greet her but he did look. She looked beat and really he couldn’t blame her. Sometimes this place got the better of you, Rick would have liked to pick up and leave but his reputation- that was something he just had to uphold.

Just as he stretched out he let out another yawn and made to close his eyes- but then he heard a thump and then another. Brows furrowed he slowly sat up and looked over once the loud crash came. Yeah, that was the drawer and he was pretty sure that was his wife up there on the second floor waiting for his reaction.

Sighing heavily and giving a roll of his eyes he got up and moved towards the drawer to look up at the culprit standing up there. She was all kinds of furious and if it hadn’t been at him he would have said she looked all kinds of good when she got that look in her eye. But those were his things and she was obviously pissed at him so he drew in a breath and set his hands on his hips.

“Another nap, dear? Should I start looking into retirement homes for you? Maybe there you would get better rest. At the very least, it would help you keep your mouth shut.”

Didn’t he know how serious this was-- how serious she was? Wichita glared down at him. “Are you really that stupid, Rick? Do you need me to spell it out for you?”

There had been problems between them for the last couple of weeks, but Wichita had convinced herself it was just the two of them adjusting to their life without Carl.  It had to be that or the fact that she had been sick for a few days. Who wanted to deal with their stupid husband while being sick? Even if it was her fault, Rick had no right to do what he did.

“I went to the grocery store this morning and guess who I ran into? That bastard of a friend of yours that you insist on keeping alive. And he told me something interesting. He said you thought I was pregnant.”

Wichita thought about going down there and attacking him. Causing him pain was only fair after the humiliation he caused her. But she left the space between them to keep herself from being tempted. 

But he was in a position to make sure she got some rest. To make sure that she could still hold onto hope in the midst of all of the let downs that she had been suffering from. Their world had become a graveyard and for her to give up- he wouldn’t blame her, in fact it would be the most understandable thing she could do. He just didn’t want to be expecting that.

For a brief moment he was slightly surprised by the softness of her hand as she touched the side of his face. He had almost forgotten how different he must look, and felt too. He didn’t feel like he was- actually he felt more like he was hiding now than he had felt before.

Still he let out a small breath of a laugh, eyes lowering as he nodded slightly to her words. “I’m still in here.” he answered as he lifted his hand and covered her hands that touched his face. He wondered what level of comfort she could fall into if he told her he loved her, if he told her that her surviving was the reason he kept striving- she knew that didn’t she?

Sighing at her latter words he lowered his hand and looked towards the thinly curtained windows. He wondered if anyone was watching much like Aaron had been watching them out in the woods.

She was dressed, ready to run at any moment, Wichita could easily pull off her jacket and kick off her shoes. Wichita sighed, pulling away from Rick. She was frustrated with the choice she had been left to make. What were they surviving for anyways? Everyone they loved was gone. Either they could trust a place like this or they couldn’t. 

“Guess it would be a shame to waste this room. Who knows what they’re going to do with us tomorrow.” Wichita pushed herself off the bed and slid her jacket off. She kicked her shoes off, before going over to the door. She closed it and locked it. No, it probably wouldn’t keep them safe, but it made her feel better.

But, still, he moves further into the room and drops down to sit at the side of the bed, only able to see her from the corner of his eyes. She looks so small where she sits there, high contrast between her dirty shoes, pale skin and the clean bedding she’s sitting on.

‘None of it does.’ he agrees with a nod of his head. Although this was what he had wanted to find when Judy had still been in his arms. She could have grown up in a real place. But Judy was gone and this- this house was just a lost cause.

Her question is piercing and he knows what she means. Her sister. that’s why they were here. He had to claw out some hope for Wichita, some kind of it no matter where he thought it might be. He didn’t have strength enough to conjure some up out of nothing for her. He needed to find it.

And he would.

Ever slightly he turned somewhat to face her, hand reaching for one of hers, setting it barely on her skin. They were both clean for the first time in a long time. He could hold her, make the cold go away but the stillness is surrounding them and that won’t help any.

She stared down at his hand on hers and finally let out a long breath. “Tomorrow,” she agreed. Wichita didn’t know how she was going to wait till then. She was so used to being on the move. Safe places weren’t real anymore-- not to her. Wichy didn’t know if she just wasn’t used to it or if there was something truly off about this place. She had been missing so many of these comforts for so long, like a shower and a bed. But now, Wichita wanted to give them up and run out there.

“Hey,” Wichita said suddenly. Her tone was completely different, ready to change the subject from weakness to something that had nothing to do with her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.” Wichita confessed as she moved her hand to touch the side of his smooth face. Rick had never been much to a mystery to her. She had always thought she knew who he was, deep down. Now he felt like an entirely different person. “Is that really you?”

She was teasing, of course, unable to resist now that there was nothing to do, but just sit. They had showered and she was sure food was somewhere, but their other task had been to rest. But if she laid down right now and closed her eyes, Wichy would lose what little control she had left.

wxchxta

There was nothing safe about this place, no matter what everyone said. All that he saw were buildings and houses and more things that could fall and crumble apart. And that wall, he kept his eyes trained on that wall more often than he probably should have, uneasy and uncertain about how and when they should survive here. This house had belonged to someone else probably, this town was made up of false hopes and lies. People who trusted in the word of someone who didn’t even know what it was like out there.

They hadn’t looked around however, they hadn’t asked about Little Rock, they had simply been inserted into this house and been given a chance to be more human. Shower, shave, change their clothes, be alive. But he still didn’t feel alive, hanging by a thread that still said he belonged on the other side of that wall.

Those walkers wouldn’t stay out there forever.

Turning from the window he walked away, his boots thudding off of the wood panels as he went in search of Wichita. He knew that she was going to be uneasy, he knew that she was probably full of nerves. She had lost her sister only to take up word that she might be here. If there was a possibility-

Lightly knocking on the door he leaned in the threshold and looked in at her. She looked so different here in this room, her hair dampened out, her eyes downcast. He wanted to ask her if she was alright- but asking her that was going to only wring out the truth. The truth that they were probably both afraid to be alive in a place as normal as this.

What was normal, anyways?

She had already had so many luxuries that her sister never got to have and she wasn’t taking advantage of them. Who knew how long they would have them for? Nothing was a guarantee anymore, but especially not something as nice as this place.

Wichita wasn’t sure what Rick thought about this place, but Wichita was still unsettled. She kept picturing something happening while Rick and her were in their separate showers. If she couldn’t get to him in time, she would never forgive herself. Wichy had waited till Rick stepped into the bathroom, before following after him. She sat down on the floor, leaning against the door as sound of the water running took over her senses.

When the water turned off, Wichita pushed herself off the floor and trudged to her own bathroom. Her shower was fast and she quickly changed. She didn’t hesitate to put her shoes back on, in case they needed to run. Those people out there acted like they had given them their lives back, but Wichita didn’t trust them.

She noticed Rick had done the same. His boots were laced up and he seemed to be weary of the house. But he had also shaved. He looked so different. How did he really feel about where they were?

A mix of FoB lyrics off of different albums that can be used as starters

“We’re only liars, but we’re the best.”

“We’re friends when you’re on your knees.”

“You only hold me up like this cause you don’t know who I really am.”

“Sometimes I just want to know what it’s like to be you.”

“I wanna teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way”

“I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday”

“Hell or glory, I don’t want anything in between”

“It’s just a matter of time until we’re all found out”

“I swear I’d burn the city down just to show you the light”

“I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive”

“I’ve got headaches and bad luck but they couldn’t touch you”

“We’re the lifers, here to the bitter end”

“You always fold just before you’re found out”

“I’ve been dying to tell you anything you want to hear”

“That’s just who I am this week”

“Is this more than you bargained for yet?”

“And if you say this makes you happy then I’m not the only one lying”

“Nothing comes as easy as you.”

“I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake.”

“I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses”

“I’m hopelessly hopeful, that you’re just hopeless enough”

“You’re the only place that feels like home”

“Always weigh what I’ve lost against what I left”

“Find a safe place, brace yourself, bite your lip”

“The best of us can find happiness in misery”

“I don’t blame you for being you but you can’t blame me for hating it”

“You said you’d keep me honest”

“This has been said so many times that I’m not sure if it matters”

“I know this hurts, it was meant to”

“Your secret’s out and the best part is it isn’t even a good one”

“Baby, seasons change but people don’t.”

“They say your head can be a prison.”

“We’re the new face of failure”

“I just want to be a part of this”

“One day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster”

“I thought I loved you it was just how you looked in the light.”

“Thanks for the memories”

“Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes”

“I could learn to pity fools as I’m the worst of all”

“We’re so miserable and stunning”

“I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you”

“I’m alright in bed but I’m better with a pen”

“Isn’t it tragic?”

“And I’m so sorry, but not really”

“The truth hurts worse than anything I could bring myself to do to you”

“I’m coming apart at the seams”

“I don’t care what you think as long as it’s about me ”

“They always bring up how you’ve changed”

“I’m in love with my own sins.”

“What if you peaked early?”

“I will never end up like him.”

“Oh darling I know what you’re going through”

“You can only blame your problems on the world for so long”

“I wanna scream ‘I love you’ from the top of my lungs”

“I will never believe in anything again”

“Change will come”

“I’ve got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match”

“My mind is a safe”

“What makes you so special?”

“You put my head in such a flurry”

“Have you ever wanted to disappear?”

“Please take me back”

“I’m a nervous wreck”

“Tonight the foxes hunt the hounds”

“We are wild, we are like young volcanoes”