He's Got The Whole World In His Hands

Speed: I accidentally became important at work and it's ruining my life

Paul Heyman: Why did you attack us???????? Seth Rollins: Well there were the obvious reasons but for the Chamber specifically, that THING hurt my son! Je'von Evans: Thanks dad!

Seth: Okay, kids, you wait here. I'm gonna figure out how to break this to Becky. Becky: Break what to Becky? Seth: *deep breath* Hunter knows about the school kids. He went absolutely insane. It's all Roman's fault, not mine! Becky: Huh. Alright then. Seth: ...? That's way less of an explosion than I thought there'd be. Becky: Yeah, well, what can ya do? Seth: Okay, now I'm really worried. Becky: ...Look, if he's freaking out about the school kids then we can just sneak Je'Von on the list without him having to have a separate freak out. Seth: Oooh, good plan! Je'Von: Mom's smart. Becky: Yes, she is. Now eat your potatoes, you have a big match tonight.

Triple H: Hey, good job today. Heather: Thanks, sir! Seth Rollins: Y'know, I'm impressed you guys have managed to keep the whole family quiet from him for this long. Heather: Thanks, Dad, we try. Triple H: I HAVE *HOW* MANY GRANDCHILDREN? Seth: Oh no. Heather: *whimpers* Triple H: HEY EVERYONE! Seth: WHO TOLD HUNTER?!! Heather: Not me! Roman: Hey, so, remember when you told him about my kids to get him off your back? Well, I'm trying to get ready for Mania and he was annoying me. Seth: BRO. UNCOOL. Roman: Payback's a bitch.

Bianca: Hey, Asuka, can I ask you for a favour? Asuka: Maybe. What is it? Bianca: Well, since I'm off with this stupid hand injury anyway, I've decided I want a baby. Asuka: ....Why are you asking ME? Bianca: Becky. Lacey. Peyton. Billie. Carmella. Alexa. Emma. Naomi wasn't FEUDING with you but she used to be your tag partner so I'll throw her in too. Asuka: Huh. I'll see what I can do.

Liv: Hey guys! How've things been since I was awa - OH MY GOD why is our enemies list so long???? WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO? Finn: Rey's adopted a LOT of kids.

Dominik: My father was Eddie Guerrero. Randy: Dude, if that were true he'd have knocked you on your ass a long time ago.

Dominik: Guys, guys, guys, we have a problem! Finn: Oh, I'd say we have a few. Where would you like to start?

Adam Pearce: Rey, the Judgement Day is annoying me. As the General Manager of Raw, I order you to adopt someone. Rey: Wha - now??? Kinda short notice. What, do you people think I can just make adoption papers appear like magic? Adam: *stares* Rey: Well, I can't! I blew through my extra stack when we bought Triple A! Adam: *stares* Rey: Look, Zelina's husband is back on Smackdown, will you take a son-in-law? Adam: Only if he calls you dad. Alastair: Fine. Adam Pearce: Deal. *he leaves* Rey: Uh, thanks Alastair. Surprised you'd do that. Alastair: Zelina said to do it in front of the Judgment Day because Dom's an annoying little brother and she's mad at him. And she wants you to owe her one. Rey: Should've seen that coming. Okay, Zelina, what do you want? Zelina: The house has turned into a dude's club. Next time you adopt, I want more sisters. Rey: Why do you think I'm gonna adopt more - yeah, okay.

The Rock: It's getting too chummy on this roster. Fix it. Adam Pearce: Alright. *to the roster* Hey, gentlemen, who's the biggest 'That's My Wife' guy in this locker room? CM Punk, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton and the Miz: ME!! *two seconds and then the locker room turns into pandemonium* The Rock: Wow. Good job. Adam Pearce: Thank you. The Rock: Maybe too good. What's the off ramp? Adam Pearce: Off ramp? The Rock: Right. Hunter - HUNTER PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN.

Roman: So, you're having another baby, huh? Jimmy: Yep! Roman: Congratulations, man. You must be so happy. Jimmy: We are! We've wanted a baby for a long time. Roman: That's nice. Jimmy: Yeah! Roman: ...Jimmy? Jimmy: Solo had another baby last year and now he's ahead of me! I can't let that happen. Roman: Ah. There it is. Jimmy: IT'S BOTH! Jey: Hey, what about me? Jimmy: Catch up then!

Naomi: Asuka, what are you doing? Asuka: Checking the Raw Women's Championship for spikes. Naomi: ...Spikes? Becky: She thinks it pokes holes into condoms. Naomi: .....I MEAN-

*Alexa is dragging the new referee on the leash* Nick: Lexi? What've you got there? Alexa: You said he was my birthday present. This is so he can't run away. Nick: Lexi, no, that's not what I - *Lily turns her head to stare at him* Nick: ....Carry on.

Liv: I love Dominik SOOOOO much! Rhea: Great! Just remember rule number one. Liv: Which is? Rhea: If he cheats with you, he'll cheat ON you. Liv: That's not- Roxanne: Hi, Dom! Dominik: Hi! Liv: ...Shut up. *Rhea walks off cackling*