❛ ░ &&. // ( carpe diem. )

Alright sorry. I tend to speak before I allow others the opportunity to do so. It’s a way of coping and defence mechanism on my behalf. I’ve become so immune to my rambling I get caught up in the words myself. Again sorry. Oh I know she does. I once asked her how her day was going and she gave me this big speech about. Though it was very interesting to say the least. She always had wonderful stories to tell. No, but a I did cross paths with a black cat. That should explain it. Actually no you won’t have too. I’m a great swimmer and I can hold my breathe for longer periods at a time. I guess all that rambling pays off, huh. 

It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I was only teasing you with the whole drowning thing, just in case you didn’t catch on and thought I’d willingly let you drown and die like that. By the way, I hope I didn’t come off as rude or something because I’m definitely friendly, I swear. I guess I’m just that sort of person who can either come off as overly insensitive when actually I’m it’s just my attempt at being funny, yikes. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t get my mom’s sense of humor and tell lame puns instead of literally scaring people off with my humor. Actually, my mom’s puns have always been kinda known for scaring people off, so maybe I’m not that different from her after all. You crossed paths with a black cat? Definitely explains it, Lani. Okay but no, it’s probably just a bad day. The black cat superstitions are just superstitions, I’m pretty sure you’re safe. Unless you’re one of those people who believes in that old 1560′s folklore where they thought that witches could turn into cats at night and prowl the streets cursing people with bad luck. Oh, really? How long? True, your talent for being able to talk continuously without breaks probably has rubbed off on your ability to hold your breath and not intake any oxygen. 

You know, the initial concern I had on the way out here might have been the fact I really l was not looking forward to turning into one of those god awful horror films. I can assure all of you that I refuse to be a cliche that simply hides in the closet while our killer closes in on us. The second any sort of sign of danger presents itself I will not hesitate to offer up one of you to find my way to safety. Although, rest assured, I will definitely make sure to give you a proper funeral and memorial service when I’m named hero of this whole..unfortunate scenario.

I was just beginning to think that I was the only one who saw that this place looks exactly like something you’d see straight out of a horror film. The huge lake right there in front of the cabin, a perfect place I might add to drop a dead body, or you know, drown someone. The fact that we’re literally miles and miles away from the city itself, surrounded with nothing but the open woods, so it’s a perfect location to massacre everyone and the police wouldn’t even be around or here fast enough to save us all. We’re practically asking to get brutally murdered by some psychotic killer, the setting says it all. Nice to know that you won’t have my back, or anyone else’s really when the killings start. I guess it’s safe to say that you’re obviously not much of a team player. 

MEET AVA MARIE BROWN!!!

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

Sutton: hOESNTLY WHY DID U THROW OUT THE TACOS I WAS SAVING THEM FOR DINNER TONIGHT WTFISS WRNG WITH YOU

Sutton: *HONESTLY BUT TBH HOESNTLY IS BETTER BC UR A FUCKING HOE AND I HATE Y OU SM

Sutton: WE HAD A PAC TTHAT U WOULDN’T TOUCH THEM OR DO ANYTHIG TO THEM AND THAT I WOULD  STOP DRAWING MUSTACHES ON UR DOGS WHERE IS THE RESPECT WE PINKY SWORE

Sutton: NEXT TIME I SEE U WE’RE CUTTING OFF UR PINKY BC U BROKE A PROMISE BRISTOL IRENE PARRISH U B  R O KE IT U VIOLATED MY TRUST

Sutton: WHAT KIND OF PERSON THROWS OUT SOMEONE ELSE’S TACOS

Sutton: UR BUYING ME NEW ONES IDC UR DOING IT OR WE’RE NEVER EVER TALKING AGAIN

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

[deleted] Sutton: i just wish you would talk to me again. i wish we could be best friends again and have fun sleepovers where we go out on late night adventures and kidnap dogs by somewhat seducing creepy guys and i just miss you so so so much. i miss having you there to bug me about stuff and to insult me and we’d bicker but then at the end of it all we’d hug and say nice things together and it’d be okay. 

[deleted] Sutton: i’m sorry i never said goodbye, i know i should’ve at least sent a text or told you i was leaving myself. i let you find out through other people when you deserved at least an explanation and i’m sorry. 

[deleted] Sutton: you’ve always stuck by my side through the good and bad and the thick and thin even when i was scared that one day you’d leave me to find another best friend but you didn’t and i was the one who ended up leaving you and i broke your trust and our bond and i was pathetic enough to never even fucking try with our friendship to begin with and i’m sorry.

[deleted] Sutton: you always brought out the best in me and believed in me when no one would, you would always be the one to give me that boost of confidence i needed and honestly, i didn’t need some plane flight or staying in california for a year to realize how the only thing i needed was my best friend there with me through it all. because none of it’s worth it, it’s not worth it finding myself and who i want to be, it’s not worth becoming that person when i find it if you’re not with me through it all to tease me about things and talk about dogs and yell at me for accidentally doing something wrong with briston.

[deleted] Sutton: you know, before i left, or even got that phone call from berkeley i had a gift for you that i never got to give you or ask you about. 

[deleted] Sutton: i was supposed to give you a key to my condo so you could move in with me or i move in with you because all i really wanted was to be with my best friend everyday and stay up late watching disney movies while taking care of our dogs and i don’t know, bickering about who was supposed to wash the dishes last night and fighting about how i probably always leave my laundry laying around and taking on the world together as two badass best friends but i never got the chance to and i think i regret that the most. i regret giving up all of that, and i’m sorry. 

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

Sutton: whdyt he fuck did u have to bitE MY LIP

Sutton: im soem o why cna’t dju just stop the avoiding and ignoring thisang and just LOOK a tme aor just talk to me atl east or YELL AT ME orsho u tat me or something god jsut give me a reaction i jneed to be yelled at i need u to talk to me i needm y best firend pleaple

Sutton: i asked codydt omarryme last nigaht and he said yes and w’re engaged and no body reallysknows yetso rm aybeythdy do but all i wanted to do after itah appened was tell u all baout it and talk about hwo u oculd plan it bcf i know yo uwoudl makeot perrfet and i know it was always our dreamf or u to plan my wedding ando wu  can

Sutton: but i us wish u wer atcually here takoing to me

Sutton: alsoi sewar to gdo avannahs trying to ge5 me i swaei m not evne joking why does no one else believe me but shes ou tgo ge TME

Sutton: p.s. bristson missses u he miseses his other mom and ji do too

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

Sutton: eric’s back and all i want is to see u two fight it out tbh i wanna give him a good punch to the jaw but would that be too rude i mean i know ist been a year but i’m still hella salty at him wtf 

Sutton: also has savannah said anything about me jw bc thats another thing she does she likes to trash talk me

Sutton: why do u like to hang out w her anyway when u know shes a hoe smh i swear shes doing it just to bug me its drIVINGM E crzazy

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[deleted] Sutton: tbh i’m still salty about you and bristol

[deleted] Sutton: she’s my best friend and sometimes it jus t feels like people are constantly stealing her away from me like savannah and you and cammy 

[deleted] Sutton: i jus tfeel like one day she’s going to realize how better you are than me and then forget about me and ditch me and just make you her new best friend and it’ll be like her and i were never even friends to begin with

[deleted] Sutton: it just constantly feels like someone’s going to replace me and then cody and bristol won’t be my friends anymore and they’ll go off and be friends with someone like you

[deleted] Sutton: why coudln’t you just form some kind of a lesbian friendship bond with someone else hwy

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

Sutton: cans i tesll you asdecret hahah shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh don’ tetll anyoen about tit ok sthis is our secrel

Sutton: thb i kidna dug the whole squadi ncest thding udi d for me liek hoenstly im flattered i reallyam if i wenr’at engagedi ‘d 10/10 go see for msyself whaatsd all teh fuss is about u

Sutton: don’te tele l the restfo the squad shis bu tur slow ly beocming m yfaovrite squad member from the sqsad

Sutton: FUCKDKi don’dt think i akws suspposed to etlld anyone about the aiengament yetkskd

Sutton: o hwlel u heard it here firsskkids im enganged toa taocbell

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

Sutton: DEJDIUEDEDUDEUDUDE

Sutton: SO REMENRBER JULIAN?? TEH VAMPIRE GUY WITH TEH SILVER TOOTH WHO LIKES DICKS?????

Sutton: FUCK DKUDE HES GETTING MARRIED TO SOME COP AND THEY WANSTUG S TO COME TO THE WEDDING!!! HES HAVING A DICK MINT FALVORED CAKE ASKDGJK

Sutton: HE TOLD ME TO TELL U UR HIS MAID OF HONOR!!!!! ASKDJGJJKKJS

Sutton: i wonder why hes getting married to a cop though isn’t that a lil bit too ironic

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

Sutton: whdy teh fuck why can’tepople just donaet moeny to us salerady so we xan becme RICH ffkuck i saijd why twICe habaha

Sutton: i jsut wnat to beocm rich and run aways withs you and rbady tehzom bie dog so swe can become one big h apily familys together

Sutton: ura struglgling artist im a struglgng human beign who doesn’t knowh ow to tie her shoes why can’t tehwhole world ujust be fair

Sutton: alliof our friends are become richakn d we’re stll here using couposndfo for free tacos at taco bells evne thgouh the atcos makem e need to go pepoo poo

Sutton: fUCk i s aid xan i meant ****CAn

Sutton: i nkew a xan once she was g iurl scout that came to mydoor bu tdinstead of makign me busy cookies she makde me buy her 1d imagisnes wha t nice girl buts then she randolmly said “i know hthats whehre i bureied her bosdy” and i siad whaft and shske saod wht im still ocnfused

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

Sutton: i need to pee but i can’ tget up wtf im so laz y

Sutton: el tell me to get up i think ill listen to u if u say it

Sutton: eLOSIE cries where are u when i need u to make me go pee i’m literally going to pee myself

Sutton: whY CAN’T MY FUCKING BLADDER JUST BE NORMAL AND HOLD IT IN I JUST WANT TO FINISH THIS GODDAMN EPISODE WHY CAN’T I HAVE NICE  THINGS

Sutton: so i finally went to pee and now that my bladder’s not bugging me anymroe i’m kinda sad bc it gave me something to be upset about and go bother people at 4am in the morning 

Sutton: do u think my bladder’ll come back if i sing the circle of life meanwhile holding up a picture of a uretha

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

Sutton: FUCKUFKUFKUCK ELOISE LEOISE

Sutton: IM DEAD LIM LIETRALLY DEAD IM GOING TO DIE FUCK

Sutton: THERESH A HUGE ASS RAPTOR IN MY FUCKINGD CONDO I SWEAR T OGOD I JUST SAW THE SHADOW WTF IST MAKING MOISES FUCK SAVE ME

Sutton: CHRIS PRATT ISN’ THERE TO BE THE RAPTOR WHISPERER WT F DO I DO THEY’RE GOING T O D E VO UR ME FUCK

Sutton: I RTIED TO SPEAK RAPTOR TO THEM BUT THEY’RE GROWLING WHY ARE THEY NOT RESPONDING BACK TO ME

Sutton: oh

Sutton: its just briston and rileya hahahahahaha i should prbably stop watching jurassic world and go to bed

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

Sutton: aria told me u asked her for ten more dollars so u can have more money then me is this true 

Sutton: i thought we were supposed to leECH OFF ARIA TOGETHER UNTIL SHE WENT BANKRUPT BC OF US

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

Sutton: msy brackelet gost stcuks to m my hariirhir

Sutton: wtfm its’ bene 15 minusetes andsmy arm is srratarting to hrut from ebign in  thsi pos ition heLSP

Sutton: i neod hdelp PORN semnd Hell

Sutton: wtf audtfocorrect *Popcorn herpes

Sutton: i geive up

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

Sutton: ok so i know this is random as fuck but i just wnated to let u know that i really appreciate u and i’m really glad we talked and got to bond and become friends because you’re actually a rlly cool and chill person even though when i first heard of how some italian girl was threatening my pun queen title and i was very bitter and salty about it and ready to fight u when we finally talked i’m glad i didn’t actually fight you bc ur a good person and a cool friend and don’t tell anyone i said this but ur not that bad at puns that is all ily

Sutton: also can u give me another five dollars

Sutton: i totally didn’t just send that long ass para just to ask for more money than eloisewhaaat

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

Sutton: is it weird i really want to trip on acid again

Sutton: honestly idk but the whole sacrifice ritual thing kind of had a kinky aspect to it and turned me on???? g tg I NEVER SENT THIS JUST FORGET ISTDGKJAK

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

Sutton: honestly i don’t even know if it was worth it moving across the country just to go to berkeley and become a law student

Sutton: i thought if i did i’d eb able to figure out who i am and what i want to do with my life, you know???

Sutton: and the idea of being a lawyer and being the kind of person that’s strong enough to stand up for what they believe in has always stuck out to me and i want to be that person i want to be strong and confident and i want to be the kind of person who knows who i am but i don’t even fucking konw what i want to do with my life and it sucks because i lost so much because of it

Sutton: i lost bristo land cod yand i hate it so much because i lost my two best friendsi n the entre world and the two people i run to first when something good happens in my life