My grandma never talked about it but there was a generational narcissism and abuse problem that had alot to do with contoll and image. And I think patriarchy is partly to blame, since if they couldn't controll their own lifes they would controll and punish their kids.
It's not just good will and longing that gets passed down but abuse, controll and trauma too. And men are often to blame for that too. Wether it be absent or abusive fathers, emotionally stunted or hands off partners who didn't do their share or even sons who where favoured over daughters.
Many had kids untill they had a son, just for the daughters to be parentefied and forgotten about. Its a cycle of abuse and neglect prepetuated by patriarchal structures that men to this day still almost never see or acknowledge.
They called themselves "protectors" when they where really just abusing generations of women to come, the ripples of generational trauma and abuse down the female family line long outliving their own existence.
I want to retroactively go back and murder all of them.👍🏻