What Should We Call Me?

when i get rear ended for the first time

when i'm in the express check out line and someone in front of me has more than the maximum number of items

when most of the mail i receive is solicitations for donations

when i've finished all my work for the day by 10am

when my boyfriend makes salmon for the first time and he gives me a raw piece to try

when i leave from a visit to vaden

when the bitch in my sorority gets nominated for outstanding member at the greek awards

when i did flaming shots for the first time

when a couple starts fighting next to me on a mostly empty bus

when i get full credit on an assignment i did while drunk

when the people in my group project ask to meet four times to do something that will take an hour

when the people in my group project say that they are confused about the project

when my residents talk about their sex lives outside my door

when it's senior spring

when i lose track of my friends at a party

when my residents ask me random questions instead of using google

when i find out the crazy chapter advisor is having kids