living on

And she wanted for a moment to hold and devour him, wanted his mouth, his ears, his coat collar, wanted to surround him and engulf him…

so he’s gone and you’re trying to let this go with him but it just won’t leave and you just can’t forget. this is an ache like lazarus; it is alive when it shouldn’t be, it is back and bigger than ever. it hurts that the memories are so soft and at the same time so goddamn wrecking ball. he was never as gentle as you remember. this was never as perfect as your naive high school eyes saw it. it’s hard to let go when the hurt is a leech and you are always bleeding. it’s hard to breathe easy when your head is always underwater.

Don’t ever hide who you really are. Be your true self. If you find someone who loves your true self, hold on to that love with both hands, cherish it, let it keep you warm and feed your soul. If someone tells you that they will love you more if you change for them and you stop being true to yourself then they only loved an idea, a fiction. They never really loved you.

It’s 5am and all I think of is how lucky I am because If i listen close enough, I can hear your sleepy breaths and only an hour ago we were listing off reasons why we love eachother and oh god am I in love with you.

Personal freedom starts from the inside. That is, from choosing to step out and to leave your past behind you, and to free yourself from chains that other people wrap around you.

One day you’re going to meet someone who will love you unconditionally, accept all of your shortcomings and make you feel that you’re worth having. One day, someone out there will save you from loneliness you’re feeling right now and show you that in this life, we can be happy and be over the clouds if we want to. One day, someone will travel for hours just to hold you close, feel your presence and make you feel that you are worth travelling for. One day, someone will never get tired of loving you, pacifying you when you’re angry until you become okay, feed you with your favorite food and be your best friend at the same time. One day, this someone will walk down the aisle for you and prove that you don’t need perfect relationships, you just need to be contented and be grateful for what you have. This someone will be excited to spend the rest of his days being your lifetime companion. He will come, just be patient.