Iām having the worst mental health day Iāve had in a while.
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@writtenlikeawizard
Iām having the worst mental health day Iāve had in a while.

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I am back to using tumblr to shout into the void. divorce makes me really sad and todayās news about mulaney and his wife are kinda crushing. thereās this couple that I barely know who also recently got divorce and I find myself scrolling their socials wondering what happened and when it fell apart. I love my husband and I want to protect and grow our marriage. I pray that our marriage continues to be solid and that we grow with one another.
thatĀ āooooā when someone got In Trouble in elementary school⦠that was a greek chorus
You are good, You are good, when thereās nothing good in me.
I bought a dress and it came in and itās too small and I look awful in it and I hate my body and wish I could love it and it sucks to want to love your body but look at it and despise it.

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Happy Indigenous Peoplesā Day!
āŖI wanted to redraw the comic I did of THAT scene in unwind ā¬
Connor grabs his arm, and looks into his eyes: How do you fill it? How do you fill the . . . the space?
And to Cam's own amazement, he has an answer: Bit by bit, and not alone.
Katniss: Our government kills 23 children a year.
Connor: That's cute.
Staying close to Godās Word is what gives us strength to run away from temptation.
l.m.c.a

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Iāll be honest, as Iām trying to write this post, my brain really wants me to write one about why it still matters that you sin even though youāre forgiven by God. In college, I had a huge group of friends. So big that I count 24 people in our āSquadā photo from my wedding, and thatās missing at least 4 people. SO naturally with a group this big, we had subgroups. Not exactly subgroups, but random assortments of people who would hang out together sometimes. One of these subgroups nicknamed themselves āTeam Sinners.ā They were the group of people who had more of your regular college life than others in our mostly Christian group. They liked to joke that āitās okay if we do a little sinning every once in a while.ā
And for a long time, that seemed to actually be true. It made some of us uncomfortable, but those on āTeam Sinnersā didnāt seem worse for the wear. Until it wasnāt.
Iām giving away a lot of information on here that if one of them were to read, it wouldnāt be pretty for me⦠but Iāve had a hard time healing from this situation despite it not really including me. And now, it feels like the words are just pouring out of me without my control. That I cannot stop myself from writing this post. This will likely end up in the trash, but the words need to be out of my body and onto the screen. So, here we go.
Team Sinners eventually let my younger sibling-in-law join their group. I was excited that they were getting along with my friends and I hoped they would help in the college journey. You see, I was graduated at the time, living 8 hours from this collegeās campus and I was excited for my sibling. I was happy that my friends were happy to be around them too.
But then we found out that they had hurt one of our other friends deeply. I donāt want to say too much and even with that past sentence, I fear it may be obvious what occurred. You may ask yourself what this has to do with the original topic, or you may be saying āduh!ā But I want to push this further.
Because the fault for what happened lies solely on one personās sinful nature. It was worsened by their refusal to admit sin and call it what it was. And then again heightened by trying to hide their sin.
But the culture of āTeam Sinnersā motto, that it was okay to sin because you are forgiven so it doesnāt matter what you do, lead to this situation. And they all are now hurting from this too.
Friends, I say this out of concern not out of judgement. We could drag my history through the mud and reveal the evil Iāve done. It is there, believe me. I am THANKFUL for the gift of forgiveness found at the cross. But when we see sin as okay or notabigdeal or minimize the fact that it is wrong, we neglect Christās sacrifice. He came to earth as a suffering servant. He suffered so that you live. He DIED so that you may have an abundant life. That sin was not easy to atone for, and while forgiveness comes to us freely⦠while we are covered and cleansed by Christ, we need to remember the WEIGHT and WAGES of sin.
I donāt know how I could have changed the outcome of this situation. I pray that someone reads this and is reminded to turn to Christ.
There are consequences to sin, earthly ones. God truly knows what is best for us. We need to strive to follow His Word.
Woah. Thatās a lot of law, Iāll admit. So I ask that in all of this please remember that Godās love and your worth to the Kingdom are NOT dependent upon your performance. Perfection is not a prerequisite to participation (hey @ohhappydani on insta). And it is NOT required for admission into Christās forgiveness.
As stated earlier, we could air out my dirty sinful laundry and I can tell you the earthly consequences. My family has gone through a lot with this, my friends have gone through a lot with this. I have been completely broken by this. What you do matters to God and your community.
So now, letās say you are in a situation where you have sinned and you read all of this and understand it. What do you do next? Repent. Give it to the Lord, ask Him for forgiveness and help. Be held accountable. I would highly encourage you to talk to a pastor. They will not judge you. I do not know that my sibling has done this, and it worries me.
Then find the appropriate way to apologize to the people that this has caused harm to. Nothing hidden gets healed, acting like everything is fine may seem okay but that doesnāt allow it to be brought to the light.
Lastly, use your voice. My favorite account in scripture is the story of the woman at the well. This account shows us that God turns what the enemy meant for evil to good. When the woman leaves Jesus, she is able to spread the Good News through her story of sin (notice: NOT THROUGH SIN but the story of her past). She says, āHe knew my sinā and now instead of the history of sin being shameful it shows Christ. Her story is redeemed.
Iām still waiting for this story to be redeemed. And I know that God may not answer that prayer in one of the ways I want that to go. But I know it will be answered when every tear is wiped away. When Christ returns.
So with that I pray, Come Lord Jesus. And I pray that you are reminded of the consequence and price of sin. But also that you would know the fulness of the gift of forgiveness in Christ.
Last year, a traumatic thing happened to me. Iām not at liberty to give any more details, but it involves my friends and family and Iām not healed from it. As the anniversary approaches, Iām finding myself feeling continually re-traumatized. I hate feeling like this especially when othersā trauma from the same event is worse. But I havenāt been able to heal, and it sucks not knowing and feeling distant.
cats (2019, dir. tom hooper)
The MandalorianĀ |Ā 1x06 - āThe Prisonerā
āMy sheep know my voice, and I know them. They follow me.ā
ā John 10:27

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man i wish coronavirus wasnāt happening and i could have a nice time at my favorite restaurants (sees a bunch of maga boomers having astroturfed public meltdowns about not being able to go to five guys burgers and fries) nevermind i dont care about eating out anymore
Thank you. Itās okay to mourn and miss those experiences privately. But when you go public with it and start demanding them, like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, thatās when itās a problem.Ā
I miss getting my hair cut, i look like count olaf. But Im not freaking out and demanding hair dressers risk their lives so I can upkeep my pixie cut. Because im not an asshole.
I miss just wandering around random stores and seeing all the pretty things on display.
But Iām not about to make retail workers risk their health because I wanna window shop