Too Much and Not Enough

My first book, Too Much & Not Enough: Surviving and Living with BPD, is a compassionate, practical guide to understanding Borderline Personality Disorder through both lived experience and evidence-based coping strategies.

I'm also currently writing my second book, The Weight We Carry: Surviving and Living After Trauma, which explores trauma, healing, relationships, and recovery with the same honest, conversational approach.

What you'll find here

Sneak peeks at upcoming chapters

Behind-the-scenes writing updates

Development notes and occasional drafts

Thoughts that may eventually become part of a book

General writing updates (and probably the occasional "why did I think writing a book was a good idea?" moment)

This blog isn't meant to replace @borderlinereminders or @traumasurvivors. Those are still where I regularly share peer support, resources, and educational posts.

Instead, this is a place to follow the books themselves and everything that goes into creating them.

I'll still share major book updates on my other blogs, so don't worry if you don't want to follow multiple accounts.

I thought that would be an easy chapter to start on since I had written a good blog post on it. Navigating Sex After Trauma. I thought it would mostly be a copy and paste. Haha, I was very wrong.

I wanted to expand on it a lot for the book so I think it ended up 2-3x a long with some structural changes.

My first book, Too Much & Not Enough: Surviving and Living with BPD, is a compassionate, practical guide to understanding Borderline Personality Disorder through both lived experience and evidence-based coping strategies.

My second book, The Weight We Carry: Surviving and Living After Trauma, which explores trauma, healing, relationships, and recovery with the same honest, conversational approach.

The first is not available yet. It's still going through edits with my husband, but I am done with it!

I tried to be gentle in the BPD one where I could, but that one basically goes "Here's a behaviour or skill you may struggle with. Here's why that can be harmful to you. Here's why you aren't a bad person for struggling with it. And here's how you can work on it."

But the trauma one is "Here's why you may feel this way, and here's how you can be kind to yourself, and here's some tips to move forward if you want."

Also, to those that missed and are confused by this, I am working on another book that is similar in design to the BPD book but about trauma. The BPD book is not forgotten! It's complete! But my husband is doing his edit through it, so there's nothing left for me to work on for it. I'll tag the trauma book as 'the weight we carry' going forward if you want to ignore that tag since you didn't follow me for this one.

Find me elsewhere on:

Written by someone who has lived with the diagnosis firsthand, this book explores the fears, emotions, relationships, and challenges that often accompany BPD without judgment or shame. From emotional permanence and splitting to reassurance-seeking, conflict, favourite people, self-blame, and recovery, readers are guided through experiences many struggle to put into words.

At its heart, this is a book about hope. Not the promise of becoming a perfect or "fixed" version of yourself, but the belief that healing is possible, relationships can improve, and a life worth living can be built one step at a time.

Although, I haven't tried to write a little author thing... That might be harder.

This is the Google Drive where I am uploading chapters after I've finished my third edit, and my husband has finished his.

I will continue to upload chapters to this drive.

Even after publishing and officially selling the book, it will continue to be available for free. At that point, I will do a combined PDF of the book and I will look in offering epub docs in case people want the book on their ereader.

If you'd like to see the final chapter list, you can check below the read more! (I'll also try and edit to link the individual documents for the chapters once they're uploaded.)

Do I indent the beginnings of my paragraphs? I've seen 'yes' and 'no.'

Some say that self-help books don't typically indent their paragraphs, while others say it's proper?

Part of what I'm doing is adding optional activities, but also companion worksheets.

My friend pointed out that sometimes stuff like this can help break up reading. They are completely optional, but I think they add something.

So, while the book is not yet published, if you want to take a sneak peak at some of the worksheets on my website you can! I'm currently finished part one, and making my way through the other parts now. They're here!

And if you're curious, Activities that have been added so far!

Chapter 3: Emotional Permanence

Your First Anchor

Chapter 4: Splitting on Others & Ourselves

Shades of Grey

Chapter 7: The Shifting Sense of Self

The Parts That Remain

Chapter 8: Who Am I Without the Chaos?

What Safety Makes Room For

Chapter 9: Diagnosis: Devastation and Validation

What This Diagnosis Explains

Chapter 11: Wanting to Be Heard

Translating the Need

Some of these focus on self-discovery, some on relationships, and some on creating practical tools you can return to when things feel overwhelming. The goal isn't homework. It's building a collection of reminders, insights, and supports that help you navigate life with BPD.