Neatness In Chaos

max being reunited with his peter:

He was 23 when his first novel was published. After six years of writing professionally every single day. The Carpet People was a lovely novel, from a lovely writer, but almost all of Terry’s iconic truth bomb lines come from Discworld.

The Colour of Magic, the first ever Discworld novel was published in 1983. Terry was 35 years old. He had been writing professionally for 18 years. His career was old enough to vote, get married and drink. We now know that at 35 he was, tragically, over half way through his life. And do you know what us devoted, adoring Discworld fans say about The Colour of Magic? “Don’t start with Colour of Magic.”

It is the only reading order rule we ever give people. Because it’s not that great. Don’t get me wrong, very good book, although I’ll be honest I’ve never been able to finish it, but it’s nowhere near his later stuff. Compare it to Guards Guards, The Fifth Elephant, the utterly iconic Nightwatch and it pales in comparison because even after nearly 20 years of writing, half a lifetime of loving books and storytelling Terry was still learning.

He was a man with a wonderful natural talent, yes. But more importantly he worked and worked and worked to be a better writer. He was writing up until days before he died.  He spent 49 years learning and growing as a writer, taking so much joy in storytelling that not even Alzheimer’s could steal it from him. He wouldn’t want that joy stolen from you too.

Terry was a wonderful, kind, compassionate, genius of a writer. And all of this was in spite of many many people telling him he wasn’t good enough. At the age of five his headmaster told him that he would never amount to anything. He died a knight of the realm and one of the most beloved writers ever to have lived in a country with a vast and rich literary tradition. He wouldn’t let anyone tell him that he wasn’t good enough. And he wouldn’t want you to think you aren’t good enough. He especially wouldn’t want to be the reason why you think you aren’t good enough. 

You’re not Terry Pratchett. 

You are you.

“Yes,” I said.  “But I like seeing how authors grow.”

A Substitute mom

A bimbo

A mean bisexual

She/Theys

He/Theys

A token straight who's on thin ice

An astrology bitch who has everyone’s birth charts memorized

And a short king

Over time I’ve collected a ton of useful links for writing, and now, I’m gonna share the best ones on here.

Characters:

- Accents

- Writing actors

- Addictions/Bad habits

- Characters with amnesia

- Anxiety

- Apathy

- Autism 

- Badass characters

- Name ideas (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

- Bipolar disorder

- Blindness

- Deaths (2)

- Careers

- Character questionnaire

- Secrets

- Cocaine

- Comas

- Depression

- Skin colours

- Ditzy characters

- Eating Disorders

- Elders

- Eye colours

- Flaws

- Hinduism

- Kids

- Marijuana

- Multiple Personality Disorder 

- Narcissistic Personality Disorder

- Night terrors

- OCD (2)

- POC characters

- Pregnancy

- Psychopaths and sociopaths

- Rebels

- Asexuality

- Sarcastic characters

- Schizophrenia

- Shy characters

- Virgins

- Voices

Time periods

- Ancient Egypt

- Ancient Greece

- Ancient primary sources

- Fashion through history

- Medieval clothing

- Slang of the 1950s

- Victorian dialogue 

Dialogue/Character interaction

- Banter

- Body language

- Dialogue tips (2)

- Fight scenes

- Insults 

General tips

- Avoiding cliches 

- How to write child birth

- Colours (2) 

- Tips for co-writing

- Creating titles

- Describing clothes

- Editing tips

- Epilogues

- Food places

- Creative writing genres

- Guns

- Wounds (2)

- How to write historical fiction

- Prompts

- Quotes

- Characterisation

- Types of crying

- Writers block

Romance

- Date ideas

- Falling out of love 

- Friends with benefits

- Healthy relationships

- Kisses

- Lesbian smut

- Romance tips

- Sex scenes (2)

Supernatural/Horror

- Demonology

- Horror cliches

- Satanism

- Serial killers

- Supernatural powers and abilities

- Vampires

- Werewolves

- Witchcraft

- Zombies

Fantasy

- Fantasy references

- Fantasy inspiration

- Mythical creatures

- Talking animals

Music/sounds

- Harry Potter ASMR room (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11)

- Lord of the Rings ASMR room (2) (3) (4) 

- Game of Thrones ASMR room (2)

- Epic songs to write to

- Instrumental music

- Playlist for character deaths

- Rain sounds

© (c ) copyright 1990-2011 Rebecca Sinclair

Bo Rhap boys as The Onion headlines

Bonus:

a guy challenged abe to a duel once. lincoln very much did not want to duel this cat.

so lincoln agreed, on the condition he got to choose the weapon. maybe that was how it generally went in 19th century dueling culture, i have no idea.

the guy said “sure”

lincoln said, “ok. broadswords.”

so that poor would-be opponent shows up on the day of the would-be duel, and abe is outside, doing, like, some quick sword warmups.

now, back in lincoln’s day, he was, as any american schoolchild can tell you, the tallest fucking dude on the entire fucking planet, so please try to even imagine the majestic reach of this stovepiped giant’s condor-like wingspan.

(wingspan plus broadsword.)

abe’s enemy takes one look at this, does some quick mental calculations on his own arm length (mortal, human), turns around and goes home.

the best part is that, as i remember it, lincoln of course had no fucking idea how to swordfight. it was the 1800s. we had guns. he’d just been, like, waving this giant sword around haphazardly, whacking at tree limbs, making his arms look as big as possible because he knew this joker could see him, and he knew that guy didn’t know that lincoln didn’t know what the hell to do with a broadsword.