“Do you mind?” Calum asked, holding up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter as you both leaned against the tour bus, waiting for Luke, Ashton and Michael to finish packing up so you could head to the next destination of the tour. 

    “Not at all,” you smiled at him and tucked your phone into your back pocket before turning to look at him.

    You were currently touring with 5 Seconds of Summer as their opening act, and you guys were close to finishing the tour. After almost four months on the road, it was safe to say that you were ready to return back home and get some well-deserved rest. However, as much as you were longing to curl up in your bed and binge-watch Netflix for the rest of your life, you also never wanted this to end. The shows, the audience, spending time with the guys to whom you had grown incredibly close to over these past few weeks and overall the atmosphere of being on the bus with the band. 

    But most of all, you were going to miss your late-night talks with Calum. 

    Generally just being with Calum. 

    You had already been friends before going on tour. But ever since it had become your routine to talk outside the bus during stops, Calum usually lighting a cigarette while you took sips from your bottle of water until it was time to step back into the bus and turn in for the night. You felt even closer to him than ever before. 

    That was probably going to be the thing you’d miss the most: your bus stop routine with Calum. 

    The way his eyes shone in the streetlights, the smoke leaving his lungs in long breaths, him asking if it’s okay for him to smoke next to you despite already knowing your answer, his teasing eye-rolling whenever you’d say, “that’s gonna kill you one day,” while pointing at the cigarette resting between his plump lips.

    Him. 

    You were going to miss him. 

    Logically you knew you’d still be able to see him, especially since you only lived about 20 minutes away from him. Still, the thought of not hearing his soft snores every night and having deep conversations at random rest stops in the middle of the night ate you up on the inside. It was pretty obvious what you felt for the bassist, but admitting it was something you didn’t even dare to dream of. Especially while you were still on tour and it could create unnecessary tensions between you, him and the band. Still, you couldn’t help but wish for things to be easier, for the tour life to go on forever and for you to spend the rest of your life with the man leaning against the bus next to you.

    “What are you thinking about?” Calum ripped you out of your thoughts.

    Shrugging your shoulders, you replied, “I’m gonna miss this.”

    “Me too,” he took another drag of his cigarette, “touring is always so much fun; it’s hard to believe it’s almost over.”

    “That’s not what I meant,” you mumbled, hoping he wouldn’t hear you.

    No such luck, Calum raised his eyebrows, silently asking you what you were hinting at. Before you had the opportunity to embarrass yourself, you heard loud voices coming towards you, Luke and Michael arguing about God knows what while Ashton was following his bandmates, typing something into his phone before tucking it away when he saw Calum and you leaning against the tour bus.

    “We’re all packed up and ready to go,” Ashton informed you after Luke and Michael had already disappeared into the bus.

    “We’ll join you in a minute,” Calum answered, holding up his cigarette for Ashton to see.

    “No rush,” he teasingly winked in your direction as he walked up the few steps into the bus.

    Ashton was the only one out of the four guys that knew about your crush on Calum. He had figured it out some time ago while you were touring in Europe and since he had become like a brother to you, you had approached him and asked for advice. The drummer had told you just to follow your gut feeling, which at first sounded like shit advice to you but the more you thought about it, the gladder you were for his ‘words of wisdom’.

    Before you managed to get lost in thought once again, Calum exhaled one last smoke cloud, putting out his cigarette before asking, “Ready to head inside?”

    Just as you opened your mouth to answer him, you were hit with the smoke he had blown out just a few seconds before. The moment you breathed in the smoke, you felt your throat closing in and began coughing violently.

    “(Y/N)? Is everything alright?” Calum asked, but you weren’t able to answer him, your chest tightening and you gasped for breath, feeling almost like someone was squeezing all the air out of you.

    “I-,” you tried taking a deep breath, which just ended in another coughing attack, “c-can’t...breathe.”

    Black dots started dancing in front of your eyes, vision blurring as you continued to gasp for breath. Calum helped you sit down, opening your water bottle for you and urging you to take a sip while yelling for someone to call an ambulance. All of this you didn’t notice, too busy trying to get at least some oxygen into your lungs. The water helped slightly, but you were still wheezing, coughing and gasping for breath. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Luke rush out of the tour bus, phone pressed against his ear. Your throat felt tighter and tighter with every passing second, and the last thing you saw before passing out, was Calum looking at you, eyes full of fear.

    That night the ambulance had taken you to the nearest hospital. The second they arrived, the paramedic had pressed an oxygen mask against your face, helping you breathe as you were loaded into the vehicle. You had woken up after a few moments of being unconscious, still barely able to breathe. Calum sat right next to you, your head in his lap, him holding onto your hands and speaking reassuring words to you. You didn’t really understand any of them, but the sound of his voice and his presence were enough to help you calm down a little bit. Once you were on the stretcher, you had asked if Calum could come with you, and apparently, the paramedics decided to make an exception and let him ride with you in the ambulance, holding your hand the entire time until you were wheeled into the examination room. 

    After a few tests, you finally got a result: asthma. The smoke from Calum’s cigarette had caused quite a bad asthma attack, but luckily the doctor had told you if you kept an inhaler at you at all times, the chances of having another attack that bad were pretty slim. With the diagnosis, and the advice to take it a bit slow the next few days, you were released. All four guys of 5 Seconds of Summer were waiting for you and crowded around you once they saw you walk into the waiting room.

    “So…I have asthma apparently,” you shrugged, holding up the inhaler you were given.

    “You’ll be alright, though, right?” Ashton asked.

    Nodding your head, you replied, “Yeah. The doctor said to take it easy, and if I feel like my throat is closing in again, I’ll just have to use the inhaler, and it should be fine. She also said that I could finish the tour, so that’s good news too.”

    “Thank god,” you heard Calum mumble as the others cheered, pulling into a group hug.

   Only two weeks later, the tour had officially come to an end. 

   To celebrate the great success of it, you gathered at Michael’s house together with the people that had helped make the tour possible. You had been wandering around the house for some time now, trying to find a certain bassist, but so far you had no success. After feeling like you had checked every inch of the house, you decided to go into the backyard, wanting to catch some fresh air and hoping to find Calum out there, maybe having a smoke and trying to get a few moments away from everyone himself. 

   Calum had felt distant lately. 

   Ever since your little hospital scare, he hadn’t really been spending time with you. No more late-night talks outside of the tour bus while waiting for the guys to finish up or while the bus needed to refuel. You were scared you had done or said something wrong, and after going over it with Ashton, you finally got the courage to confront him and ask him what was going on. Opening the door, you took a step outside, inhaling the chilly night air and letting out a sigh—finally some fresh air. You let your eyes drift around the backyard until you finally spotted Calum sitting underneath a tree that was decorated with some fairy lights. 

   “No cigarette?” you asked as you approached him.

   His head shot up upon hearing your voice, obviously ripping him from his thoughts.

   “No...I’m...I quit.”

   “You quit? Smoking?” you sat down next to him, his body visibly tensing as you did.

   “Cal...what’s going on?”

   “What do you mean?”

   You sighed, “I mean, that you’ve been avoiding me since my asthma attack two weeks ago. And now you apparently quit smoking? What’s going on, Cal? Did I-did I do something wrong?”

   Tears were rising in your eyes, afraid that something you did, something you were unaware of, had ruined your friendship with the bassist.

   “(Y/N), no. No. You did nothing wrong. It’s just-fuck,” he ran a hand over his buzzcut in frustration and whispered, “I’m the reason for your asthma attack.”

   “Cal…it wasn’t your fau-”

   “Yes, it was! I was smoking next to you and the smoke caused your attack.”

   “The smoke might’ve been the reason for the asthma attack but I had asthma before! If anything, I should be thanking you right now because if it hadn’t been for you and your smoking I probably never would’ve known I have asthma and would’ve kept wondering why I’m always coughing at night and running out of breath after singing on stage.”

   “(Y/N),” he took your face in his hands to force you to look into his eyes, “it is my fault. Whether you like it or not. I quit because I never want to see you like that, lying on the floor, gasping for breath. You-you looked like you were going to die, (Y/N). I can’t risk seeing you like that ever again, do you understand?”

   “You quit for me?” you whispered, not quite believing your ears.

   “Yeah, I did.”

   “You know you didn’t have to.”

   “I know. I wanted to. For you. And obviously also for my health,” he chuckled slightly, face slowly moving closer to yours.

   “Cal, I-”

   “Shh,” he gently shushed you before placing his lips on yours.

   His lips were warm and soft, tasting slightly of the alcoholic drink he had earlier that evening. Your hands, almost instantly and instinctively moved to the back of his neck, your nails slightly scratching his scalp in the process, causing him to let out a low groan. His lips parted slightly, his tongue slowly tracing your bottom lips, slipping inside your mouth once you parted yours. Roughly his hands grabbed onto your hips and pulled you into his lap before wrapping around your body and pulling you impossibly close. 

   A loud cheer from inside the house broke you apart, your head flipping around, afraid you had been caught, just to see everyone still busy drinking and partying inside Michael’s house.

   “You wanna go back inside?”

   Calum’s voice sounded hoarse and lower than usual.

   Shaking your head you replied, “How about we get back to my place?”

   To make your point clear, you rolled your hips, grinding against him and causing a moan to slip from Calum’s lips.

   “Sounds like a plan to me.”

    The towel wrapped around your body was already damp, and you hadn’t even set foot into the relatively big pool in your colleague’s backyard. Repeatedly you wiped your hands on the blue beach-towel, the dampness never quite leaving your skin and only drenching the fabric more and more with your sweat. 

    Why did you agree to this? 

    Why did you agree to Matt teaching you how to swim in order for you to finally deal with your fear of water? 

    Well, the logical answer would be to avoid the thing that happened two weeks ago while you were on a case with the rest of your BAU team. You had been pushed into the water surrounding the lake house the UnSub was hiding in, only for anxiety and terror to take a hold of your body and practically cause you to freeze up whilst submerged, forcing Matt to jump in and rescue you. 

    The truth of why you were standing in his backyard in your swimwear and a towel, however, was that you had a crush on the tall profiler you worked with.

    “Ready to give it a try?” Matt asked, a caring smile on his lips.

    Uncertainly you looked into the pool in front of you before taking a tentative step down the stairs leading into Matt’s pool. After discarding your towel and putting it to the side you took another step, and yet another until the water nearly reached your hips. Your lungs started getting tighter and tighter with every lap of water but before your fear managed to get a hold of you, you felt a rough hand carefully grabbing your hand.

    “You’re going great, (Y/N). One step at a time, and if things get too much we can always take a break and try again at another time.”

    You shot a grateful smile in his direction, his hand gently squeezing yours when you took another step towards, what you felt like, certain death, which in reality was just the deep end of the pool.

    Slowly but surely you made your way into the water until it reached your chest and you had to take a deep, shaky breath before looking at Matt who was sprouting a proud smile, making his eyes twinkle.

    “Ready to learn how to swim?”

    “I…” You trailed off before nodding your head, not really trusting your voice.

“I’m right here. Nothing’s gonna happen to you, I’ll make sure of that.”

    You couldn’t tell if it was simply Matt’s presence, the calming tone of his voice or the butterflies in your stomach distracting you, but after he showed you how to move your arms and legs and after repeating the motion several times, you felt ready to give it a try. And before you knew, you were swimming. Slowly, and quite unstable, but you were swimming nonetheless.

    Excitedly you turned to look at the tall man over your shoulder, “Matt, look! I’m swimming!”

    “Good job, (Y/N)!”

    At that point, you had turned around and wanted to stand in the pool, as you had done before, but with all the excitement you completely forgot that the part of the pool you were currently finding yourself in, was quite deeper than the entry. Once you stopped moving, you felt like your body was sinking like a stone and before you knew it, Matt had his arms wrapped around you, holding you to his chest while you wiped the water out of your eyes.

    “You okay?”

    “Yeah, just forgot this end of the pool is deeper,” you chuckled slightly, looking up into Matt’s eyes and immediately feeling yourself getting lost in them.

    “You know, I’m really proud of you,” Matt said lowly, moving one of his hands to wipe a water droplet from your face with his thumb, “You did amazing.”

    “Thank you.”

    Your faces slowly moved closer together, breath fanning over each other’s skin before your lips gently and carefully connected. Uncertainty your lips moved together before parting again, a quiet giggle leaving your lips, the smile on your lips easily mirrored by Matt.

    “Wanna go inside to order some food?”

     You were pulled out of your thoughts as you saw a glowing streak cross the dark and clear night sky. The corners of your lips pulled into a small smile almost by instinct as you watched Carol get closer and closer back to earth. Back to home. Back to you.

     The second her feet touched the ground you threw the blanket of your shoulder and basically flew off the porch, over the grass in front of it and right into your girlfriend’s arms, bodies colliding, lips crashing together and your hands getting tangled in Carol’s blonde hair.

     “I missed you,” you mumbled against her soft lips, getting a small smile in return.

     “I was only gone for a week,” she shrugged your comment off, drawing a roll of your eyes from you.

     “Yeah...but you were in space, Carol. Fucking. Space. That big thing above our heads.”

     “You know, technically it’s not above our-”

     “Don’t,” you chuckled as you held up a hand to stop your girlfriend from going on another scientific rant like the space nerd she was, “I know, I know. We’re floating around so nothing is really above or below us anyways.”

     In return, you got a cute, little pout from your girlfriend which caused you to press a short peck against her lips, the pout turning into a smile almost instantly. Taking her hands in yours you dragged her back into the cabin and pushed her into your shared bedroom while telling her to put on some comfortable clothing.

     After making sure she was, in fact, getting into her comfy clothes you made your way into the open kitchen to prepare everything for your movie night, which had become a routine thing for you to do whenever Carol came back home. While waiting for the water to start boiling you pulled out a variety of snacks to place on the coffee table in front of your couch in the living room before turning on the tv and selecting the first movie to start film night.

     A thin layer of sweat covered your skin as you snuggled against the slightly damp body of your boyfriend, your breath slowly returning back to normal as your fingers began tracing random patterns on Isaak’s chest. The guard pressed his lips against the top of your head, tightening his arms around your waist at the same time while you both tried to enjoy the rare moments of silence. None of your friends knew about your relationship with the former soldier, Saints, not even Genya had figured it out and usually she was the first one to detect traces of romance between the people near her. Maybe it was the fact that the Grisha Triumvirate and the people surrounding your King were too preoccupied with trying to restore Ravka after the Civil War, or maybe your friend was just distracted by her husband but you liked to think that your _phenomenal_ acting skills kept you from getting caught. Truly, it was a miracle no one had seen Isaak sneak in and out of your room at night, the stolen kisses after you informed Nikolai you had to discuss something with the guards, telling him to already go ahead just for you to be pressed against the nearest wall with your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around you.

     “Do you think we should tell them?” you turned your head to look at Isaak, his brown eyes softening as he gazed at you.

     “I’m ready if you are, my love. We just have to consider what might happen and how people will react. A powerful Grisha, one of the most trusted advisers of the King, being in a relationship with a simple guard…I doubt many people will agree with this.”

     You tilted your head so you were able to press a quick kiss against Isaak’s lips, your hand sliding up towards his jaw, your touch light and soft, “We don’t have to tell anyone right away. I could test the waters to see what people would think? At some point, I’d like at least our close friends to know, I’m sure they wouldn’t judge…”

     “And if they do, you could always stop their hearts or make their lungs collapse,” Isaak suggested with a cheeky grin on his face, causing you to chuckle.

     “I’m a Healer, not a Heartrender, my love.”

---

     Keeping your relationship hidden became a lot harder once Isaak had to take over the role of Nikolai as the King of Ravka. Since Nikolai and Zoya vanished without a trace while trying to find a way to get rid of his…sickness in the Shadow Fold. You had tried to sneak into the chamber that belonged to the King, now occupied by your boyfriend, several times but one of the twins, Tolya and Tamar, seemed to always be situated in front of the big double doors, making it impossible for you to spend at least some moments in privacy with Isaak. To say you were getting annoyed by this would’ve been an understatement. You were getting aggregated, your body tense and your skin tingling at every moment you had to spend separated from the man you loved. The fact that Genya came up with the idea of Isaak spending more time with Princess Ehri of Shu Han only worsened your mood even more, so much, in fact, that even David had noticed as you let yourself fall into the chair next to him while he was hunched over his notebook, scribbling and drawing new inventions into it.

     “You seem stressed out, (Y/N). What’s going on?” he looked up shortly before going back to his notebook, his hand moving quickly across the page but you could tell that he was still listening even if he didn’t look like it.

     “Besides the fact that Nikolai is gone and we’re basically driving Ravka to ruins? Nothing much…” you trailed off, fumbling with the cup of tea in front of you.

     “I know it doesn’t look good but we’ll manage this,” David tried to cheer you up, carefully placing his hand on your shoulder and giving it a soft squeeze before he lost himself in his work once again.

     “Thanks, David,” you mumbled before standing up again, grabbing your mug as you walked out of the small room to get some fresh air before you were to go back into the palace to make sure your boyfriend wouldn’t mess up while talking with any of the important people that had come to the party.

     Parties had never been something you really looked forward to, so you completely understood Isaak for wanting to get away as soon as possible from the loud music, the drinking and feasting, and from all those people that wanted to talk to the King. You felt sorry for your boyfriend, you truly did, and you could only hope that Nikolai and Zoya would resurface as soon as possible so they could take over again and allow you some alone time with the brown-haired man you loved. But even though the current situation wasn’t ideal, you still had to admit that Isaak was doing an amazing job at pretending to be Nikolai. Saints, you couldn’ve sworn being in a different skin made your boyfriend more confident, much to your amusement.

     Raising your cup to your lips you took a small sip, letting the warm liquid heat your body from the inside, while your feet carried to towards the conservatory when you heard a familiar shout in front of you, coming directly from where you were headed. Quickly you sped up your pace, clutching the cup in your hands so tight you might’ve crushed if it wouldn’t have fallen from your hands the second you stepped into the conservatory, the scene before you causing your body to freeze, the cup slowly slipping from your fingers and falling to the pavement underneath your feet. Almost instantly everyone seemed to stop their shouting and turned to look at you, Tamar who knelt beside the Shu princess with a dagger sticking from her chest, Genya with tears running down her face as her husband David held her close, Tolya, Zoya and Nikolai, the real Nikolai, who was wearing what seemed to be prisoner’s clothes, stood around another body laying on the floor, a pool of blood covering the floor around the man who looked so very much like the king.

     “Isaak?” you choked out, your mouth going slack as tears filled your eyes.

     You felt like you couldn’t breath, your chest tightening with every intake of air, like a python had wrapped itself around you and was tightening around your body every time you tried to take a breath while your heart beat frantically in your chest. It was as if the world came to a stop, everything around you blurring as your eyes settled on Isaak’s body on the cold, grey floor when you took a careful step forward, almost as if you were afraid he would disintegrate right in front of your eyes. Seeing his motionless body still on the floor, the stillness of his chest, you couldn’t help but fly forward, collapsing on your knees as you buried your face in the place where his shoulder met his neck, your arms lifting his limp body up as you pressed him against you.

     “No. No, no, no, no, please…,” you sobbed out, salty tears stinging in your eyes before they rolled don’t your cheeks.

     You didn’t notice Tolya and Nikolai taking a step back, you didn’t notice that Genya stopped crying, you didn’t notice the tears that ran down your face and wet Isaak’s clothes or the sticky blood that coated your hands, all you noticed was the faint heartbeat in his chest, your healing abilities gripping tight onto it as a warm feeling spread through your body, setting your every nerve alight while Isaak’s heartbeat seemed to grow stronger and stronger with every passing moment.

     Almost as if nothing had happened Isaak let out a gasp, sitting up after he opened his eyes, blinking in confusion as he took in his surroundings before his gaze settled in your tear-streaked face.

     “(Y/N)? What happened, my love?”

     Without answering him you just crashed forward, connecting your lips with his as your blood-covered hands tangled themselves in his soft hair, leaving red streaks through it. A sob of relief tore itself from the back of your throat, ripping you away from Isaak before you leaned your forehead against his, the feeling of being reunited with the man you loved pushing your fatigue away from the forefront.

     Carefully your boyfriend reached up, his hands cupping your cheeks as his thumbs wiped away the tears that were covering your cheeks, the touch prompting you to finally open your eyes again, just to look into his, which sadly enough still looked like Nikolai’s.

     “I hate to ruin this moment but…does anyone mind explaining this?” Nikolai gestured to Isaak and you, both of you sitting on the floor before you slowly got up, offering a hand to your boyfriend and pulling him to his feet.

     Still wobbly and weak, Isaak leaned against you for support, you arm instinctively wrapping itself around his waist to keep him steady.

     “I second that,” Genya said while trying to keep a smirk from forming on her lips, ultimately failing with her attempt though.

     “Yeah, about that…” you trailed off, “We’ve been together for a while now but we just…we wanted to tell you but there never seemed to be an appropriate moment to break the news.”

     “It’s good to see you back, Nikolai,” Isaak tried to grin at his old friend but let out a wince as he did.      “You should sit down, Isaak,” Nikolai stepped over to where you were standing, pushing Isaak down into a chair while shooting a teasing smirk in your direction together with a quick wriggle of his eyebrows which you answered with a roll of your eyes.

     You already knew your King would never let you live down the fact that you, a powerful Grisha Healer who had the dream of becoming a princess when she was a child, ended up falling for a simple guard such as Isaak, who just so happened to be a good friend of Nikolai as well.

     After discussing how to proceed from where you found yourself at, Isaak and you were left alone in the conservatory with Genya, who was surprisingly quick to restore the way your boyfriend looked before she had turned him into Nikolai.

     “It’s good to see your actual face again,” you chuckled slightly once Genya left to deal with the guests until everyone would meet up with you again.

     “It feels good to be in my own skin, too,” Isaak mumbled, his eyes drifting off as if he seemed deep in thought.

     “Isaak? Is everything alright?”

     “I…I could’ve died, (Y/N). You saved my life,” he said as turned to look at you, tears shining in his eyes.

     Shaking your head softly, you reached up to press your hands against his cheeks and pull him forward into a quick kiss, “I did what anyone in my position would’ve done.”

     “I love you,” you boyfriend blurted out, clasping your hands tightly in his as he spoke those meaningful three words for the first time.

     “I love you, too,” you mumbled out before moving forward to connect your lips with Isaak’s, his hands tangled in your hair as he pulled you closer, a soft sigh escaping you as you silently thanked the Saints that you had the conservatory to yourselves for the next two hours.

     “Do you really have to leave?” you asked once again as your boyfriend pulled on his shoes before slipping a light jean jacket over his shoulders.

     “Sorry, love, but this meeting is really important and I already rescheduled it before. I can’t cancel again,” Tom explained, an apologetic smile on his face.

     Locking your arms in front of your chest you pouted your lips, sad that your boyfriend had to leave, even if it was only for a few hours. Still, you were in an extra need of affection and cuddling today, whether it was your period that had that effect on your or something else, you weren’t completely sure.

     Chuckling to himself, the actor leaned over the back of the couch, pressing a delicate kiss against your forehead, “You’re so cute when you pout like that.”

     “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget to bring something from Pret once you get back, preferably the-”

     “Tuna and cucumber sandwich and a carrot cake, I know,” Tom laughed at the perplexed look on your face as he finished your sentence for your, “Babe, I’ve known you for quite a while now. I know your Pret order inside out. And I know what my girlfriend prefers during that time of the month.”

     “Damn, I love you, Tom,” you grinned, pulling on your boyfriend’s shirt to get him closer to face so you could press your lips against his, lingering in that position for several moments before the Brit pulled away with a sigh.

     “I’ll be back before you know it. And then we can spend the rest of the day on the couch, watching Avatar and ordering take out later, alright, love?”

     “Sounds like a plan,” you threw a kiss in his direction as he moved towards the door, phone in one hand, keys in the other.

     At the sound of the door closing, the dog in your lap raised her head after being awoken from her nap, clearly looking and searching for Tom. Lowering her head back on your thighs, Tessa let out a whine that sounded vaguely disappointed.

     “I know, sweetheart. Tom will be back soon...hopefully,” you mumbled, placing your hand on her head.

     Tessa’s ears twitched slightly at the mention of Tom before she hopped off your lap, tapping over to the pillow next to the couch and rolling up just to fall asleep within the blink of an eye.

     Hours later, after the meeting with his agents and managers was finally over, Tom was happy to return to both of his girls. Holding the paper bag of food from Pret in one hand he slowly unlocked the front door to his apartment, only to be greeted by a slight that made him want to get his phone out and take a picture or two, and maybe even post them on Instagram. On the couch in his living room, you were curled up with a blanket wrapped tightly around you and Tessa snuggled to your side, her head resting on your legs.

     Carefully and quietly Tom sneaked into the kitchen to put the food he had purchased away before heading into his bedroom to change into some more comfortable clothes. By the time he returned to the living room he nearly stumbled over his dog, the grey pit bull standing in the doorway and waggling her tail at the sight of her owner, his legs clad in dark blue sweatpants and a white t-shirt covering his torso.

     “Hey, Tessa,” Tom spoke softly as he bent down to pet his dog, Tessa jumping up and down in order to reach his face and give him a ‘welcome home’ kiss, also known as washing his face with her tongue.

     At the sound of Tessa’s claws scratching over the hardwood floor, you slowly found yourself waking up, rubbing your eyes to get the remaining sleep out of them before sitting up, just to see your boyfriend laying on his back with his dog standing over him, tail wagging and tongue licking at every bit of skin she could reach while Tom was trying, and failing, to shield his face from her while quietly chuckling.

     “You’re back,” you croaked, voice a little rough from your nap.

     Hearing your voice, Tom quickly sat up, holding Tessa in his lap, his fingers gliding through her fur, as he grinned at you from his position on the floor, “Your food is in the fridge, love. I got some soup and baguettes for dinner as well.”

     “Awesome,” you beamed, standing up from the comfy couch while throwing the blanket off you before you headed to the kitchen to grab the sandwich you made Tom promise to get you.

     While taking a big bite, humming in satisfaction of the taste, you felt two strong arms wrap around you, your boyfriend’s chin resting on your shoulder while his fingers gently caressed your belly. When you got your period fro the first time after you started dating Tom, the both of you quickly found out that him gently massaging your lower abdomen tended to rid you of your pain quite quickly. And ever since you made that discovery, your boyfriend had formed a habit of subconsciously doing just that whenever he knew you were in pain from your period.

     “What do you say, you, me, Tessa, and some more episodes of Avatar?” he mumbled after quickly pressing a kiss against your cheek.

     “That just about sounds amazing to me,” you responded, taking your half-eaten sandwich with you as Tom tugged you towards his couch, sitting you down while he quickly made some tea for both of you.

     The rest of the day was spent with you and him cuddled under blankets together with Tessa, quietly enjoying each others company while eating the food Tom had bought at Pret and continuing the show you had recently started to rewatch, just for you to fall asleep on top of your boyfriend, the soft strokes of his hands on your back lulling you to sleep.

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     You could feel the springs of the thin mattress underneath you digging into your back as you tried to keep your slow breathing consistent, deep breaths causing your chest to rise and fall as you pretended to be asleep, hoping Zoya would finally drift off herself. 

    Upon setting foot on the Hummingbird, the schooner you were currently on, you had hoped you could share a cabin with Genya or maybe Nadia, who both happened to fall into a deep sleep quite quickly but after Genya paired up with her boyfriend David, and Nadia choose to share a room with Tamar you had to settle for Zoya. It wasn’t like you didn’t like Zoya, you actually found yourself enjoying her snarky attitude but your skin was starting to itch with the need to jump out of your bed and run to the deck of the schooner. Outside you could hear the soft sloshing of the waves against the hull, the gentle rocking back and forth caused you to crave the sweet abyss of sleep to embrace you but still, you kept fighting the heaviness of your eyelids until quiet snoring finally echoed off the wooden walls. 

    Slowly you slid out from underneath your blankets, tiptoeing towards the door only to stop dead in your tracks when you stepped on a creaky floorboard. Holding your breath you tried to listen to any sounds that might indicate that Zoya had woken up but after continuing to hear her deep breathing you continued your way through the schooner and to the deck where the cold wind of the night bit into your skin, nearly making you turn around and crawl back into your warm bed. Before your sleepy mind got to make that decision for you, you spotted the familiar outline of the reason why you had forced yourself to stay awake in the first place. Step after step you made your way towards the cockpit of the ship. Once reaching your destination you tightly wrapped your arms around the man standing in front of the ship’s wheel, golden hair reflecting the pale moonlight as he placed his right hand over yours, interlacing your fingers with his above his teal frock coat. Pressing your face against his broad back you tried, and failed, to stifle a yawn, your eyes staying closed as you rested your cheek against the soft material of his coat, your body moving in sync with his breathing.

    “Tired?” his smooth voice caused you to open your eyes once again only to see the teasing look on his face as he gazed over his shoulder.

    Nodding your head you mumbled a quiet “mhm” before you tightened your arms around his waist once again, trying to take in as much of his warmth as possible.

    “You know,” Nikolai hummed softly, “you don’t have to come here every single night, yes?”

    “I’m very well aware. But it’s the only time we are actually alone for once.”

    Wordlessly the young man lifted up his left arm, indicating for you make your way to his front, pressing your back against it, his muscular arms building a cage around you while his chin rested on your shoulder, his warmth engulfing you just like the smell of him that you knew so well from all those joyful nights spent together, his scent lingering on your pillow the next morning when you woke up to see him gone.

    After a few moments of comfortable silence that passed between you, it was you who interrupted it first, “Who knew the notorious pirate Sturmhond could be so romantic?”

    You shot a teasing smile over your shoulder to which Nikolai responded with a playful roll of his eyes.

    “I’m a privateer, my dear, not a pirate,” he corrected you, turning his head to press a quick kiss against your cheek.

    “So...where exactly are you taking us anyway? You haven’t said anything about our destination the entire time we’ve been away.”

    “Well, since you’re asking so nicely, we’re going to Novyi Zem.”

    Leaning your head back, you snuggled closer to your King, “Really? I’ve never been there before.”

    “Oh, you’re going to love it. This time of the year it’s nice and warm, the people are always nice as long as you don’t offer them a bad deal for their jurda or their splendid firearms.” 

    You could almost hear the dreamy smile in Nikolai’s voice, causing you to slightly turn around to face the man you fell in love with.

    “And there it is. Firearms, huh?” you asked with a teasing smirk on your lips.

    “Yes, firearms. After everything that happened in the last few...years, basically, we’ll need everything we can get to defend our country.”

    Humming to yourself you turned back around, training your eyes on the star-speckled sky above you as you tried to use your little knowledge to try and determine some sense of where the fuck you were.

    “Let’s not talk about politics right now, we should probably do that while the others are around. You said something about nice and warm weather?”

    “Oh yes, imagine the sun in a bright blue sky, the heat warming your skin, the birds chirping and the smell of jurda plants around you. You should probably also prepare to drink a lot since it’s getting quite hot around noon.”

    “Really? It’s quite hard to think about the sun and sweating when I’m currently freezing my ass off,” you laughed, your body shivering involuntarily as if to make a point.

    “And such a glorious ass it is,” Nikolai mumbled into your ear, before pressing a kiss against your neck and playfully letting one of his hands wander down and grab a handful of the part of your body you had been previously talking about, only for you to swat at his hand, letting out a cheerful laugh that echoed into the night.

    The next morning, when you sat down at the small dining table in the cramped eating hall of the schooner you couldn’t help but notice the thoughtful look Zoya send you every time she looked in your direction, squinting her eyes as if she knew something you didn't, which wasn't a necessarily rare occurrence.

    Placing your spoon of porridge down into the bowl again you turned to look at the Grisha you shared your cabin with, “Do I have something on my face or why do you keep looking at me like you’re not sure if you should strangle me or throw me over the rail?”

    “Well...I was ready to not bring it up but since you insist. Where exactly did you sneak off to last night?” Zoya asked while leaning her head into her hands, her elbows resting on the dining table in front of her.

    ‘Alright, (Y/N)’, you thought to yourself, ‘Play dumb.’

    “Uh, what?”

    Maybe not that dumb’, you mentally scolded yourself.

    “Oh, yeah, I heard you when you left our cabin last night. You’re not as lightfooted as you think you are, (Y/N),” Zoya smirked at you, the teasing twinkle in her eyes giving away just how much she was enjoying this right now.

    Forcing yourself to chuckle at the Squaller’s words, “Right, that. I just felt a bit nauseous, that was all. And I didn’t think you’d appreciate me throwing up all over our cabin so I went outside to get some fresh air.”

    Nadia squinted her eyes at you suspiciously, tilting her head to her right as she seized you up, “Somehow I’m not quite believing that.”

    “Well,” you said while standing up, desperate to escape the inquisitory eyes of your friends and fellow Grisha, “It’s the truth, Nadia, I get seasick all the time, I just never told anyone about it.”

    And with that, you took your bowl of rapidly cooling porridge and made your way back onto the deck, hoping the finish your breakfast in peace while the eyes of your friends followed you out the room, unspoken words hanging between them.

    “We all know that this was a complete lie, right?” Genya asked into her cup before taking another sip of the hot and way too sweet tea.

    Tamar nodded at the question, “She’s been travelling with Nikolai, Sturmhond whatever, for ever. If she’d get seasick there would be no way she would’ve voluntarily stepped aboard another ship.”

    “So we can all agree on the fact that she’s hiding something from us. We just need to find out what,” Zoya concluded, determined to find out what you were doing outside of your cabin late at night.

    That evening, when you were laying in your bed, the springs of the mattress poking your back once again, you found yourself in the same situation you had been all those nights before: waiting for Zoya to finally fall asleep just so you could sneak out to spend some time alone with your boyfriend. Despite being the King, Nikolai still volunteered to take the night shifts at the steering wheel, blaming it on the fact that he was a good navigator and that the night air helped him to sort out his thoughts when in reality he was holding you in his arms, pressing kisses against your skin while talking about everything and nothing at the same time. 

    You had been in a relationship with the blonde man for quite a while now but with the Darkling trying to gain power over Ravka and a literal civil war happening you had chosen to not tell anyone about the fact that Nikolai and you were dating. 

    Deep breaths from above you interrupted your thoughts, causing you to let out a sigh in relief, happy to be able to finally sneak on deck and spend time with the golden-haired King. Speeding up the stairs as quietly as possible you quickly found yourself with your back pressed against Nikolai’s chest, his arms wrapped around you and his face pressed into the crook of your neck, his hair tickling your skin as he left feather light kisses up and down your neck. Just as you wanted to turn around to finally press your lips together you caught the flash of something reflecting the moonlight at the top of the staircase that led to the deck you were standing on causing you to stop in your motion. Following your gaze, Nikolai squinted his eyes at the shadows of the staircase, letting out a sigh in defeat once he spotted the same thing you had.

    “I can’t believe it,” you mumbled, slightly irritated even though you knew it was only a matter of time someone was going to catch you and Nikolai. Especially when those someones were Genya and Zoya, together with Nadia, Tamar, Tolya and David.

    “You can come out, we know you’re there,” Nikolai shouted, releasing you from his hold but keeping one of his arms wrapped loosely around your waist.

    Slowly and one by one your friends crept out of their hiding spot and made their way over to where you were standing, next to the steering wheel of the Hummingbird.

    Locking her arms in front of her chest, Zoya raised her eyebrows at you before turning around to the others, “See? I told you there was something going on.”

    “You just didn’t expect it’d be with Nikolai?” Nadia teased the raven-haired Squaller.

    Mumbling some incomprehensible words before turning her back to you and walking back towards what you could only assume was the cabin you shared with her. 

    But before she made her way below decks, Zoya briefly turned around one more time, shouting, “You can stay with Nikolai so you won’t interrupt my sleep again”, over her shoulder with a teasing smirk just to disappear into the shadows.

    Tamar raised an eyebrow at you, her eyes flickering to the hand Nikolai had placed on your waist, “So...How long has this been going on?”

    “Oh, for quite a while now. We just figured we wouldn’t want to break any hearts by announcing our relationship,” Nikolai explained playfully, chuckling lightly as you swatted at his hand after he began to slowly move his fingers up and down your side, tickling you in the process.

    “Well, I’ll be damned. Right underneath our noses,” Genya exclaimed, throwing her arms up before making her way over to you, wrapping an arm on your shoulder and throwing a knowing look in your direction. After all, she had known about your not so small crush on Nikolai ever since you first met her in the Little Palace.

    “So...now that we know, I suggest we all head back to bed?” David yawned, rubbing his tired eyes.

    “Good idea,” Nadia agreed, grabbing Tamar’s hand and dragging her back towards the stairs and the cabin they shared, the rest of your friends following the two Grisha, Genya throwing one last teasing wink over her shoulder before she pressed herself into the side of her boyfriend.

    "Well, no need to hide anymore."

    Turning towards Nikolai you opened your mouth to reply but before you got to say anything you felt a pair of slightly chapped lips against your own. Instinctively you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, interlocking your fingers at the nape of his neck as your lips melted together under the clear, star-speckled night sky.

*****

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    Being a member of the King’s most trusted advisers had its advantages just as it had its disadvantages. Some days you felt like you were on cloud nine, seemingly floating through the Grand Palace with every step you took while other days you just wanted to crawl into your bed, tuck the duvet over your head, never to be seen again. 

    Alas, you continued with your duties, advising Nikolai with the matter of state, trying to restore Ravka’s relationship with the Fjerdans, the Shu and the Kerch while not driving your own country into ruins as well as teaching the young Grisha how to control their powers, specifically how to summon fire while not burning Os Alta to the ground. 

    Even as Nikolai left the capital of Ravka to journey to the Fold in hopes of finally getting rid of the monster that the Darkling had planted inside of him during the war. 

    On top of trying to drive out the monster, the King had hoped to find answers to the many unexplained appearances throughout the country, like statues that begun to weep and a bridge made of bone that sprung out of nowhere, all apparent miracles as the new religious cult that claimed for the Darkling to be a Saint had called them. So together with Zoya, Tolya, Tamar and Yuri, one of the monks from the ‘Cult of the Starless One’, Nikolai had travelled through Ravka only to disappear once they had reached the place where the Darkling had died. 

    Tolya and Tamar had arrived back at the Grand Palace with those news and you had to scramble in order to come up with a plan to keep the disappearance of the King under lock and key. 

    That’s where Isaak Andreyev came into play. He knew Nikolai quite well after spending time with him in the infirmary during their time in the First Army and had a similar enough figure to the King. The decision was made quickly, Isaak would take over Nikolai’s role as the King for as long as it took for you to get him and Zoya back from wherever they were.

    You had seen Isaak around the Palace grounds quite a few times, whether it had been while he was on duty as a guard or when he was studying in the library, the dim lights enhancing his already handsome features, and still you found yourself almost staring at him once he stepped into the windowless room with Tamar by his side. Never had you told anyone about this but over the course of the few months Isaak had spend in Os Alta you had found yourself developing quite the crush in him, despite having only met him a handful of times, usually in company with Nikolai who seemed to be quite prone to 'forgetting' he wanted to talk to his good friend and only remembering once you were accompanying him somewhere.

    “Please, sit, Captain Andreyev,” you motioned to the unoccupied chair in front of Genya and you, your friend’s hands resting in her lap, waiting to begin the transformation.

    Genya was quick to strike a conversation with Isaak while serving him tea, asking him about his health and how he was doing before you finally got the point of why you bought him into the war room.

    “The King is missing,” you started, before going on to explain the mysterious disappearance of Nikolai, Zoya and Yuri in the Shadow Fold.

    “We don’t know yet if the King is in need of rescue of beyond it, but we do know that if our enemies learn of the King’s disappearance, they'll sure to take advantage of our vulnerability,” Genya explained while stirring her tea with the golden spoon she was holding, “There is no clear line of succession for the Ravkan throne, and it’s essential that no one discovers we’re without a ruler until the King can be found or a strategy is put into play.”

    Nodding his head, Isaak mumbled a quiet “of course” while keeping his head down, intimidated by the people surrounding him.

    After taking a deep breath Genya continued, “But in two weeks time, seventeen princesses, noblewomen, and ladies of worth will arrive in Os Alta, surrounded by their servants and retainers, all of them hoping to meet Nikolai Lantsov and become Ravka’s queen. Unfortunately, we are short one monarch. That’s why we need you.”

    “Me?”

    “To play the role of the King,” you chimed in, Isaak’s head snapping towards you, a startled expression pinned to his face.

    You continued to explain the plan to Isaak, Genya pulling out her pigments and other materials she would need to tailor him to look like Nikolai and before you knew it you were face to face with Isaak looking just like your King, even though he still spoke, sat and acted like himself. Admittedly, it was going to be a hard task to trick people into thinking the guard was actually the eccentric King of Ravka but you tried not to lose hope.

    Since you had known Nikolai for almost all your life, growing up together with him, you were the one that taught Isaak about how Ravkan’s King was expected to behave and move as well as some basic etiquettes at court.

    “Alright, with the silverware you’re moving from the outside in. So for the first course, you’re taking the fork and knife that are laying the furthest away from you and once you’re done you place them on the plate and move onto the next. Got it?” you explained to Isaak, glancing in the direction of the fake King.

    Even after working with him for several days in a row, the fact that he looked just like Nikolai still startled you, especially since you had to admit you liked his actual looks more than the way he did once Genya was done tailoring him. Once your eyes settled on Isaak you couldn’t help but let them drift over his face, taking in the smallest of differences between him and Nikolai. 

    You could’ve told Genya to fix those, sure, but you liked seeing the faint freckles peeking through on the bridge of his nose, the way his eyelashes seemed more curled and longer than Nikolai’s, their shadows dancing across his face as the candle in front of you flickered, or the fact that his lips seemed almost too full, pinker than you remembered your King’s lips to be, even though one might blame the colour on the fact that Isaak had been gnawing on them ever since you had been left alone.

    “Am I making you nervous, Isaak?” you asked quietly, the sound of your voice causing Isaak to look up from the silverware on the table you were sitting at.

    “Only a little bit,” he smiled sheepishly at you before turning so he was facing you completely, “I just…I’m not so sure if I can do this…”

    “You’ll be fine. One of us will be by your side most of the time and I’m sure you’ll manage to charm them all.”

    “Will it really be me, though? All these people will see Nikolai-I mean the King and not me,” his gaze settled on his polished boots, his finger nervously twisting in his lap.

    “Isaak,” you pressed with urgency in your voice, “Trust me when I say that you’ll do amazing. I grew up with Nikolai. I’m not trying to fool myself into thinking I know how his mind works but I’d like to think I know a good amount about how he holds himself and how he speaks to important people and so far you’re pretty close. No one will know you’re not him.”

    “You think so?”

    Nodding your head you shot a small smile in his direction which he mirrored quickly, his hands resting on his thighs as he looked around the room as if to make sure you truly were alone.

    “You’re an amazing teacher, (Y/N), and…uhm, you-you’re really pretty, too. Even prettier up close,” he mumbled the last part as he carefully placed his hand on your cheek, almost as if he was afraid you were going to turn him into ash.

    You could feel your breath hitch in your throat as you moved closer to him, his eyes darting back and forth between yours as your faces inched closer together with every passing moment. His lips brushed against yours just before the smell of smoke filled your nose, confusion spreading through you until you looked down at the piece of paper that you held in your hands, a small flame licking at the edge of the note.

    “Oh, shit,” you cursed quietly, letting the paper fall to the ground just for you to stomp on it in order to extinguish the fire, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know how that happened. I'm always in control of it and now I completely embarrassed myself. Oh, Saints, I-“

    Before you got to continue rambling on, Isaak pulled you into him, his lips pressing against yours, warmth spreading through your body as if it had been set on fire, sparks flying as his lips moved softly, tentatively, against your own. You could feel his fingers slowly creeping around your waist, burying themselves in your blue kefta once they reached your back. Butterflies seemed to dance in your stomach, the smell of the sweet tea Isaak had accidentally poured over himself earlier clouding your mind as your hands wandered up Isaak’s arms, meeting behind his neck, your fingers twisting the short hair in the back of his neck around themselves. It was like time had stopped around you, as if everyone paused in their movements while your lips were brushing against Isaak’s. Warmth consumed you as you leaned into the kiss, the world fading around you as the only thing you could think about was how soft his lips felt on your and how you never wanted this moment to end.

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     “Klaus, I can’t drive you around all the time, alright? I’m sorry but I have a life, I have a job, I have-“

     “I get it, I get it…I’m sorry, I won’t bother you again,” your friend huffed from your passenger's seat, causing you to roll your eyes at him.

     “You know that’s not what I meant. I’ll always be there for you, just…not for things like this, okay?”

     You reached over the central console to grab his hand, giving it a soft squeeze as you glanced over to your friend, seeing the soft smile that began forming on his face. Klaus nodded his head before reaching into the pockets of his pants and pulling out a crumpled chocolate bar. He quickly ripped it open before offering it to you. After shaking your head no, he shrugged and took a bite. While he was quietly munching on the snack you continued to drive back to your apartment, pulling up in front of the building before killing the engine of your car.

     “Thanks, (Y/N). I’ll be in touch,” Klaus said while opening the door of the passenger's side to get out.

     Before he could disappear into the night you rolled down your window, leaning your head out, “Stay safe and call me if you need anything.”

     He gave you a thumbs up before rounding the next corner and moving out of your view. With a low sigh, you sunk back into your seat, wanting to spend a few more minutes in silence before you had to face the chaos that would await you once you would step inside your apartment.

     After a couple of moments spent in silence, you dragged yourself up the stairs of your apartment building, silently cursing the broken elevator that your landlord seemingly would never fix while you took step after step until you finally reached your floor. Walking down the hallway you quickly checked your phone while inserting your key into the lock, following your daily routine like normal.

     “Mummy!” 

     Your daughter’s tiny arms wrapped around your legs almost immediately after you stepped into your apartment, her little hands tugging on your pants as you reached down to pick your five-year-old up.

     “How are you doing, baby? Did Amy take good care of you?” you asked her as you walked towards your couch where your best friend was waiting for you, her legs tucked underneath you, book in her lap.

     Nodding her head the little girl in your arms let out a soft yawn before pressing her face into the crook of your neck. You quickly motioned to Amy that you were going to put your daughter to sleep before you walked down the small hallway, slowly opening the door and stepping inside the dark room, avoiding the creaky floorboard on your way in. Carefully you bend down to place your daughter onto her bed, tugging her duvet around her before you placed a soft kiss on her forehead, mumbling “Goodnight, baby,” just to walk out of her room.

     With a long sigh, you let yourself fall onto your couch next to Amy, resting your head on the back of the couch before turning to look at your best friend who looked at you with a soft smile on her face, “Stressful day?”

     “Don’t even start. Work was the worst it’s been in a long time and then Klaus called and asked me to pick him up…I’m just done with this week,” you groaned before readjusting yourself, your eyes glancing over to the TV only to see a familiar face looking back at you. 

     The words ‘Reginald Hargreeves is dead’ were written at the bottom of the screen, other news repeatedly gliding along below the headline, while the broadcaster went over the police report. Your eyes stayed glued on the television even though the world around you sounded like you were underwater, everything far away and muted, as you tried to take in the news.

     The next morning, after you walked your daughter to her kindergarten you made your way to the building of the Umbrella Academy, jogging up the few stairs before stopping in front of the huge entrance doors, unsure whether you should knock or just walk inside and hope for the best. Before you got to make your decision you heard a car pull up behind you. As you turned around you saw Allison step outside, placing her bag on her shoulder before slamming the door shut and walking towards you.

     “(Y/N)? Oh my god, it’s been so long, how are you?” she smiled at you as she walked up the stairs, hugging you quickly once she took the last step.

     After Allison opened the door for you, letting you step inside the huge mansion, you turned to around to answer, “Well, it’s been a bit stressful but quite alright.”

     “Oh yeah, I get that. Are you here to talk to Diego?” she asked you, the sound of her heels hitting the marble floor echoing through the empty house.

     Before you got the chance to answer her Pogo, the advanced chimpanzee appeared to your right, holding his walking stick in his right hand, “Ah, Miss Allison, welcome home. It’s good to see you, Miss (Y/N).”

     “Thank you, Pogo, it’s good to see you, too,” you smiled at him.

     You had always liked him, even though he was Reginald Hargreeves’ assistant and beyond loyal to him, back when you were younger he often kept his mouth shut when he caught you sneaking in and out of the mansion to visit your friends, the Hargreeves children.

     “Where are the others, Pogo?”

     Allison looked around the big entrance hall, her eyes scanning the room for any hints of her siblings.

     “Your brothers should be roaming around here somewhere…as to your sister. I’m afraid Miss Vanya has yet to arrive.”

     “Alright, thanks, Pogo.”

     A while later you were leaning against one of the pillars in the sitting area, the Hargreeves siblings scattered around the room. As close as you used to be with these people, you couldn’t help but feel like an intruder. The glances Diego send in your direction certainly didn’t help with your situation either.

     “So, (Y/N)? How are you doing? It’s been a while,” Luther asked, trying to ease the tension in the room.

     Squirming, you pressed yourself closer to the column you were leaning against, “Well…uhm…it’s quite hectic but not too bad.”

     “Hectic is a bit of an understatement, huh, (Y/N)? With a little five-year-old running around its gotta be more than hectic.”

     You let out a low sigh as Klaus chimed in, shooting daggers in his direction with your glare at the mention of your daughter. You didn’t want anyone but Klaus to know, and he only found out by accident when you had to take him home with you after finding him passed out and hypothermic in an alley on your way home. Once he had found out you made him promise not to tell any of his siblings, especially your ex-boyfriend and the father of your daughter who was sitting in an armchair across from you, dagger in his hands which he had just been twirling a few moments ago, eyes wide in surprise as they darted between Klaus and you.

     “You…you have a child? Why didn’t you tell us, that’s great? I didn’t know you were in a relationship,” Allison turned to look at you, a smile resting on her lips.

     “I…I’m not in a relationship,” you mumbled.

     “How old did you say they are?” Diego asked as he stood up, tugging the dagger in his hands back into its sheath.

     “She’s five.”

     Diego nodded his head at your answer, pursing his lips as he realised what your words meant, “W-why…why di-didn’t you t-tell me?”

    Taking a step forward, you tried to reach out for his hand, hoping your touch would be just as soothing as it used to be all those years ago but his quick reflexes allowed him to pull away before you even reached him. His siblings sat in silence as they watched your interaction, Klaus cursing himself out for letting your secret slip while muttering for Ben to stop laughing, even though none of you could see the ghost of the dead Hargreeves sibling.

     “I’m sorry, alright? I wanted to tell you but I…I didn’t think it was gonna be safe, Diego. You and I, we both know how dangerous your job is, we both know there are people that want to hurt you and your siblings and I just…I didn’t think it was gonna be a safe environment for a child. I’m sorry…,” you trailed off, your eyes leaving him and settling on the floor beneath your feet.

     "You could've told me, you should've told me. She's my daughter and I didn't find out until now. Would...would you have told me? Would I know about her without Klaus slipping up?"

     "I don't know, Diego, I-"

     "Y-you keep saying th-that."

     You could see the anger radiating off of him, his clenched jaw, the way his shoulders tensed and his hands hung next to his body, formed into fists to keep them from shaking. Desperately you wanted to reach out. You hoped, no, knew you would feel the sparks you once felt when you still got to call Diego yours but you were more than aware of the fact that you had ruined everything between you the second you decided to walk out on him, the pregnancy test tucked inside your bag while Diego had begged you to stay.

     "Maybe we should all calm down and-"

     "Shut up Luther," Diego and you both turned towards the massive man, the look in your eyes causing him to take a step back and snap his mouth shut. After taking a deep breath you tried to reach out once again. This time Diego allowed you to take his hand into yours, your thumb instinctively running in circles across his knuckles like you used to do.

     “C-can I meet her?”

     His quiet voice caused you to look up from your joined hands, hope filling your former boyfriend’s eyes as he turned his eyes on you. You couldn’t help but nod your head at him, whispering a small “sure”, a small smile settling on your lips.

     Before you knew it you were standing in front of the door to your apartment, Diego waiting patiently for you to unlock the door.

     “I…I need you to know something before we go inside, Diego,” you turned around, fumbling with the keys in your hands.

     Placing his hand on your shoulder he smiled softly at you, “Whatever it is, it’ll be fine. I just…I just want to meet my daughter.”

     Nodding your head, you took a deep breath before pushing your key into the lock, twisting it until you heard the click. As soon as you opened the door you heard the footsteps of your daughter coming in your direction, her little body jumping up and down as she ran to meet you.

     “You’re home early,” your daughter squealed in delight, happy to see her mum earlier than usually.

     Picking her up you turned towards Diego, his body tense as he stared at the little girl in your arms.

     “Harper, there’s someone here I’d like you to meet.”

     “Hi, Harper.”

     Diego took a step forward, Harper’s eyes glancing at the space between her and her father.

     “She…she’s blind. She can’t see you,” you mumbled, pressing a kiss to your daughter’s cheek before handing her over to Diego who carefully took her into his arms.

     Harper’s tiny hands gently slid over his face, taking in his features like the scar above his right ear, “Hello, what’s your name?”

     Diego shot a cautious glance in your direction, unsure of whether to tell her the truth or not.

     “He’s your daddy, baby.”

     Her little eyes widened in shock for a few moments before she wrapped her arms around Diego’s neck, snuggling closer to him while mumbling words you couldn’t understand but which caused Diego to chuckle slightly before he pressed a soft kiss against Harper’s cheek. A soft smile spread over your face, a warm feeling spreading through your body as you looked at your daughter and Diego in front of you. Maybe Klaus's slip up wasn't so bad after all...

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     “So, this is how it ends? We’re being shut down and send off to different precincts?” you frowned at Amy after the daily morning briefing with Holt and the rest of the squad.

     “Seems like it. I mean, it’s like the Captain said, we don’t have a fancy special task force so I bet they’re gonna keep the Seven-Four up. I can’t believe it, (Y/N), we’re never gonna see each other again.”

     You could sense the distress radiating off your friend and colleague so you quickly sat down on the chair beside her desk, gripping her hand to bring her attention to you.

     “Listen to me, Amy. The precinct might get shut down but that won’t keep us from being friends. We can still see each other. I mean…Jake and I gotta figure out a way to see each other as well.”

     “Oh god, Jake and you, how could I forget about that. I’m such a horrible friend. You’re not gonna see your boyfriend ever again and I’m sitting here, complaining about not working with you anymore,” the Latina babbled on, causing you to roll your eyes at your friend.

     “Amy! Shut up. You’re bringing all of us down with you. Make the best out of the last few hours you got. Like, I don’t know, getting mentorship from the Captain,” Rosa chimed in from her desk, causing you to shoot a thankful smile in her direction.

     After Amy left to go and talk to her ‘mentor’ you let yourself fall onto your desk chair, letting out a soft sigh as you let your gaze wander around the bullpen, trying to take everything in before you’d have to leave and start at a different precinct. Even if nothing was 100% set yet, if your Captain was certain you were being shut down then surely there was no hope left, even though your boyfriend, Jake, had tried to lift up the mood by promising to find a big case and solve it before the hearing later that day. You didn’t want to admit it but you didn’t believe he’d manage it, you had lost the little sliver of confidence in the precinct after the briefing.

     “Hey, it’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry,” Rosa’s voice pulled you out of your daydream, seeing her stand in front of your desk, her arms locked in front of her chest.

     “I know, I just can’t help but worry. Thanks though, Rosa. You’re an amazing friend.”

     Giving her a soft smile you decided to work on some paperwork in order to distract yourself, trying to do the best out of the last few hours with the Nine-Nine.

     A short tap on your shoulder was what diverted your attention away from your paperwork, spinning around in your chair you came face to face with the man-child you called your boyfriend, Jacob Peralta.

     “Could I interest you in taking one last ride with me, my lady?” he tried, and miserably failed, to fake a posh accent while holding up some car keys. 

     Giving him an unimpressed glance you were just about to turn back around to continue your paperwork when Jake took your hands into his and pouted at you, “Please?”

     “Okay, okay, let me just grab my jacket and we can go,” you chuckled, letting your boyfriend pull you off your chair, grabbing your jacket in the process as he dragged you through the precinct, into the elevator and outside, where a blue Ford Mustang waited for you.

     “Jake…please tell me you didn’t buy a new car.”

     “Oh-oh no. It’s from the impound lot. Don’t worry, I don’t have the money to buy a new car,” he explained while leading you to the car, opening the door for you before jogging around the front to sit down next to you, starting the engine and driving off the parking lot of the 99th precinct of the NYPD.

     “Peralta, you’re a genius,” you imitated Holt as your boyfriend stopped the car on top of a lonely outlook outside the city.

     “Have I told you how much I love you today?” he grinned at you, pulling your face closer to you, his lips hovering over yours. 

     You whispered out a soft “Not that I remember” to tease him before finally crashing your lips onto his. There was something desperate in the kiss you shared, something needy, his hands keeping your head in place while you tangled your fingers in his soft brown locks. Letting out a sigh you quickly shimmied off your jacket, tossing it into the back of the car before you climbed over the centre console into Jake’s lap, your fingers tugging at his hair once you were seated, his hands holding your hips in place, the slight bulge in his pants pressing against your core.

     “We shouldn’t be doing this out here, or should we?” you panted against his swollen lips, your foreheads pressed together as you both tried to catch your breath.

     “We don’t have to if you don’t want to but…” Jake gently nipped at the skin of your throat, causing you to bite your lips in a hopeless attempt to muffle the noises that threatened to spill out of your mouth.

     “You’re giving convincing arguments, Peralta. Can’t argue with this logic,” you smirked before your lips collided once again, this time way more aggressive, your arms wrapped around his neck while Jake pulled you impossibly closer to his chest as your tongues engaged in a battle for dominance. 

     Clumsily you tried to get rid of your pants, parting from your boyfriend to wriggle out of them only for your elbow to hit the horn, both Jake and you jumping at the sudden loud noise. 

     Chuckling you let your head fall forward onto Jake’s shoulder, groaning in frustration, “Car sex looks so much easier in the movies.”

     You quickly climbed off of his lap, sitting down in the passenger seat to remove your pants along with your panties.

     “Come to Papa,” he said while patting his bare thighs, his jeans and underwear pushed down to his knees. 

     Rolling your eyes at your boyfriend you quickly slid back over the centre console, placing your knees on either side of his hips, “You’re spending too much time with Charles, he’s rubbing off on you.”

     Without a response Jake pressed his lips back to yours, his hands finding their way to your hips, digging his fingers into your skin, causing you to whimper at the sensation. His lips parted against yours, his tongue entering your mouth as he raised up your hips which allowed you to finally lower yourself onto him, a soft groan escaping the both of you now that he finally filled you up. Your hand gripped onto the top of the leather seat, your face pressed into the nape of his neck while your moans and whimpers fill the silence inside the car, mixing together with the sound of skin slapping against skin and Jake panting at the feeling of your walls wrapped around his member. His grip on your hips tightened, rolling them forwards and backwards, his pubic bone rubbing against your sensitive clit. Hot pleasure shots through your body, the coil inside you tightening with every thrust, every roll of your hip, Jake’s hot breath brushing against your ear together with the occasional groan as he whispered dirty praises to you.

     “Fuck, Jake,” you couldn’t help but moan out, your walls fluttering around his member, causing his hips to snap up, his tip brushing deliciously against your sweet spot as you let yourself fall forward, your chests colliding as you clung onto his broad shoulders, your hips moving up and down at a face pace.

     “Shit, Jake, I-“

     “Let go, (Y/N), let go,” your boyfriend groaned, his fingers digging into your soft flesh as you felt yourself inching closer and closer to the edge with every push of his hips until you finally felt the coil inside you snap, releasing a strangled moan as you dragged Jake with you down the path of hot pleasure, his loud grunts ringing in your ears, setting every nerve inside both your bodies alight. 

     He paused for a moment as you try to catch your breath before he carefully slid out of you, a small whimper escaping you at the loss of contact. 

     Wrapping his arms around you he held you closer to him, wanting to savour every second of this moment, “I love you.”

    “I love you, t-“

    You were interrupted by a knock on the window beside you, both your heads snapping to the source of the noise only to be greeted by one Charles Boyle to stand next to the car.

    “Charles, how may we help you?” Jake asked after rolling down the window, facing your slightly annoyed colleague while you hid your face by burying it into your boyfriend’s neck, heat rising up your neck to your cheeks in embarrassment.

    “By putting on your clothes and hurrying up. We still have a case to solve, remember?”

    Waving him off, Jake quickly replied, already rolling the window back up as he did, “Yes, yes. We’ll hurry.”

    All you could hear was a muffled “Good!” before Charles finally left to go back to his car.

    “I can’t believe it,” you groaned, internally and externally cringing at the fact that Charles caught you having sex.

    “Relax,” Jake mumbled, his lips pressing against yours to help you calm down, his big hands softly holding your head in place while your fingers played with the hair in the back of his neck, your surroundings slowly fading away.

    The detective parted slightly from you, pressing his forehead against yours, “Round two?”

    “Mhm,” you nodded your head slightly, “sounds good.”

    Leaning forward again, you reconnected your lips, Jake’s tongue slipping out of his mouth to trace the outline of your lips. Just as you wanted to open your mouth a loud honk brought you both back to reality, ripping you apart as you threw your head back to let out an annoyed groan.

    “I’m going to kill him. I swear, the second our precinct is shut down, he’ll be a dead man.”

    “No, you won’t,” Jake tried to argue, only causing you to throw a glance in his direction while you climbed off his lap to pull your underwear and pants back on.

    “Don’t challenge me, Jake.”

    “I’m not,” he raised his hands in surrender before turning the engine back on to drive back to the Nine-Nine, “I’m just saying. You won’t kill him because the precinct won’t get shut down. I’ll find a way to make sure of that.”

    And as ridiculous as it had sounded to you at first, being almost completely sure that within the next few hours you’d have to say your goodbyes from the squad, Jake actually managed to save the precinct from being shut down together with the help of Gina’s fanbase, which started a petition after your boyfriend had given an inspiring speech which Gina just so happened to live stream for her fans to see.

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     You stood at the edge of the massive craft called the Pelican, looking down, through the mist, to wait for Nikolai’s signal. The stupid prince had decided to disguise himself as a soldier with some of his people in hopes of finding Alina and her little group of runaway Grisha after the Darkling tried to get her to join his side countless of times, the Grisha ending up on the throne of Ravka while you were trying to come up with a plan of how to get rid of him and destroy the Shadow Fold, the Darkling's creation.

    “How’s it looking?” Natasha, one of the tidemakers, asked you whilst continuing to summon the mist that hid to Pelican from curious eyes.

    “It can’t be much longer,” you replied, your eyes squinting to see the columns of smoke rising above the trees, coming closer and closer to where you were waiting.

    You were just about to turn around to look at the crew, seeing if anyone needed to rest when you saw a certain golden-haired man break through the tree-line, followed by a group of Grisha and soldiers of the First Army following them.

    “Prepare to pull up the platform,” you shouted over the deck, several people scrambling to the consoles to open the cargo hold and reel in the cables that were attached to the platform.

    Grabbing the whistle that hung around your neck you waited for Nikolai to come to a stop. The second he did so you blew into it twice, letting two shrill whistles blow, signalling for the platform to be lifted up into the craft.

    While the platform rose you saw three figures leap off of it again, one of them looking suspiciously like Tolya who was basically a giant which lead you to believe the other two must have been Tamar, his twin sister, and Mal. Looking down you couldn’t help but silently curse out Nikolai for not letting you come along, the prince having put the command of the Pelican into your hands while he was busy chasing after Alina. 

    A flash of light drew your attention back to the field below you, seeing one of the soldiers of the First Army sliding onto the ground, sliced into two perfect halves by what you assumed must’ve been Alina using the Cut. The Inferni on the platform send waves of fire over the field, burning all the bodies left behind to destroy any sort of evidence that the Sun Summoner had been there before the platform finally entered the cargo hold and, moments later, Nikolai emerged from below decks, followed by everyone else. From where you were standing you could identify several of the Grisha who you had spend several years with when you were living in Os Alta, spotting Zoya’s dark curls, Nadia and her younger brother Adrik as well as David, even though you had barely seen him at the Little Palace, you were still happy to see them all alive. Before you managed to get lost in thoughts you saw Nikolai strutting over to where you were standing, shouting commands at the rough Grisha working for him.

    “Good job,” you greeted the privateer, a cocky grin spreading over his face which immediately made you regret the words of praise that had left your mouth.

    “I-“

    Rolling your eyes, you interrupted the blonde prince, “Don’t say it.”

    Raising his hands in defeat he let out a low chuckle that made your heart beat faster before he glanced over to the white-haired Sun Summoner who was leaning against the railing, her eyes peering at the landscape below.

    “I’m gonna check on her.”

    “Do that,” you smiled, turning to give orders to one of the Squallers to take a break, seeing as he had been on duty for several hours now.

    Nikolai made his way over to Alina, the girl wiping away tears that had rolled down her cheeks, “First vomit, then tears. Don’t tell me I’ve lost my touch.”

    “I’m just happy you’re alive,” she replied while blinking away the tears that had formed in her eyes before engaging in a conversation to update the prince about the status of the Second Army, which had been reduced to the sparse numbers that found themselves on the deck of the Pelican.

    “So…(Y/N)’s here,” Alina diverted the conversation after discussing her sudden change of hair colour and the potential plans to bring down the Darkling.

    For a small moment, so short the girl nearly missed it, Nikolai’s expression wavered, his eyes turning soft as he glanced over to where you were busy keeping the craft on course before he gathered himself, his expression turning blank as he locked his arms in front of his chest in a defensive position, “Yes, I…She wanted to help you and the other Grisha at the Little Palace but I dragged her to the Kingfisher.”

    “Does she know?”

    His head snapped to the right, his brows furrowing at the Grisha in front of him, “Know what?”

    “That you’re in love with her,” Alina replied with a self-assured smile on her lips.

    “I’m-I’m not in love with her,” Nikolai protested, losing his composure.

    "Mhm, sure," the white-haired Sun Summoner smiled at her friend before she strolled across the deck, away from him, Nikolai's hazel eyes following her as he gaped at the girl.

    After pulling himself together he quickly walked back to where you were standing, making sure the journey to the Spinning Wheel would go by smoothly, especially when it got to navigating the Elbjen.

    With perfect precision, like always, the Pelican entered the hangar of the Spinning Wheel, crew members throwing lines over the railing for the other workers to catch them and tie them to the floors and walls as you touched down with a thud and a deafening screech as the hull scraped against the stone floor.

    “Ready?” Nikolai asked as you both walked over the deck to make sure everything was secured and ready to unload.

    You nodded your head as you followed the blond man towards the railing, ready to get off the craft and into a nice, hot tub to relax your tense muscles. Before you got to do that there would be several things you’d have to attend to, being basically the second in command to Nikolai.

    Speaking of the prince; pressing his finger to his lips, Nikolai signalled for you to stay quiet as he sneaked up to Alina and Mal who seemed to wonder how Nikolai had managed to build something as magnificent as this, even though they both hadn’t even seen the best part of the building.

    “Want to know my secret?” he asked, causing the couple to jump, a quiet chuckle escaping you as Nikolai glanced back at you, a twinkle in his eyes which you couldn’t quite identify.

    Leaning forward he looked left and right between Alina and Mal, “I have a lot of money. No, really. A lot of money.”

    “And a lot of people loyal to you,” you quipped in, placing your hand on his shoulder as you stepped off the Pelican.

    After Nikolai was done shouting orders to the dockworkers he ushered everyone into the small, rectangular box that would get you to the main room of the Spinning Wheel. Preparing yourself for the bumpy ride up you wordlessly gripped onto Nikolai’s hand, not wanting to show just how much you hated the short ride but at the same time not wanting to drag yourself up the four flights of stairs. Casting a quick look at you he gave you a reassuring smile before pulling the lever, causing the box to shot upwards.

    The second the gate slid open you rushed out of the small box, hearing Nikolai’s laughter behind you which you assumed was due to the expression of your guests and their reaction to their first ride with the elevator from hell. Walking over to a table covered in different documents, maps and plans you greeted the people around them some giving you a smile while others looked at you with respect and maybe a little bit of fear. Being Nikolai’s right hand seemed to pay off with every passing day even though you hated that some people seemed to be intimidated by you, you were just another Grisha girl after all.

    “Alright, fill me in, Andrei, what have we got?”

    The man pointed out several new cargos and shipments that were planned for the next few days as well as going over a loose schedule you had wanted to make, after agreeing upon it with Nikolai of course. 

    The next hours were spend rushing around the Spinning Wheel, attending to whoever needed to talk to you and solving problems whenever Nikolai was nowhere near. Just as you wanted to head into your room, ready for a well-deserved hot bath, you heard news of Genya being inside the Spinning Wheel and the King demanding to see her immediately. Sighing you turned back around, silently saying goodbye to your hot bath and making your way to the war room.

    A few moments later you were standing in the room Nikolai had declared war room, the walls covered in maps and blueprints, Nikolai leaning against his desk which was covered in clutter, his arms and ankles crossed as he was deep in thought. You kept your respectful distance, gaze cast downward since you didn’t want to spare a single look at the King, his frail form leaning against the chair of his wife. Alone looking at him causing bile to rise in your throat. When the doors opened you saw Alina, Mal, Tolya, Tamar and another Grisha with a shawl covering her face step into the room.

    “I didn’t ask to see this witch,” the King looked down at Alina, who bowed regardless of how insulted she must’ve felt.

    “Where’s the traitor?”

    Almost instantly a girl with a shawl wrapped around her head stepped forward, causing you to hold your breath as she revealed her scared face, her single eye and her matted, dull hair. You let out a soft gasp at the appearance of your former friend, your eyes flickering between Genya, Alina, Nikolai and the King, trying to take in everyone’s reaction all at once.

    After revealing what kind of poison she had used to weaken and cause his current state, and explaining that she poisoned the King by poisoning her skin, so that every time he touched her he took in small doses of the alkaloid just to purge it from her skin after every single time a few moments of silence fell over the room.

    “Did he force you?” Nikolai interrupted the silence, Genya nodding once in response.

    Casting your eyes towards the blonde prince you saw him clench his jaw, tension filling his body, “Father? Did you?”

    “She’s a servant, Nikolai. I didn’t have to force her, just as I didn’t have to force the others,” he sneered, his eyes flickering over to where you were standing.

    Swallowing the lump in your throat your eyes shifting towards the ground you were standing on, feeling several pairs of eyes looking in your direction, all at once.

    “No,” Nikolai breathed out, taking a step in your direction which caused you to look up, blinking your eyes at the young man before nodding your head once, ashamed that you ever let it go that far.

    Nikolai was quick to declare that Genya would have to go to trial once the war was over, his voice tense and strained as he did so, Genya taking it surprisingly well.

    The king broke into a smug grin as he heard what his son said but to his dismay, Nikolai wasn't done yet, “Father, you’re ill. You have served the crown and the people of Ravka, and now it’s time for you to take the rest you deserve. Tonight, you will write out a letter of abdication."

    “I will do no such-“

    “You will write the letter, and tomorrow you will leave on the Kingfisher. It’ll take you to Os Kervo, where you’ll be seen safely aboard the Volkvolny and across the True Sea. You can go someplace warm, maybe the Southern Colonies.”

    The Queen let out a gasp of shock, holding a hand her to her heart, “The Colonies?”

    “I am the King of Ravka!” the King shrieked, “This…this traitor, this-“

    “If you remain, you will be convicted for rape...for several cases of rape,” Nikolai interrupted his father again, trying his hardest not to snap at him.

    “Nikolai, you can’t do this. They are servants!”

    Letting out a groan in exasperation, the young prince raked his hands through his hair, “That doesn’t justify what you did to them, father. You will write that letter, you will board the Kingfisher and leave this place, or face trial for your crimes, and if you’re found guilty, then I will see you hang.”

    “It’s my word against theirs. I am the King-“

    “And I’m a Saint. Shall we see whose word carries more weight?” Alina stepped between Nikolai and the King, trying to bring an end to the conflict.

    “You shut your mouth, you grotesque little witch. I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”

    “That’s enough,” Nikolai snapped, his patience wearing thin as he ordered for the guards to escort the King and the Queen to their room.

    Just as you were sure the King would finally shut up he turned towards Genya and you, “At least now you look like what you truly are. Ruined. As for you…I hope you’ll find Nikolai a better lover than me.”

    With that he strode out of the war room, leaving you with shock sitting deep in your bones. You truly despised that man, and if it wouldn’t have been Genya you would’ve tried to kill him yourself.

    After Nikolai made sure to let Genya know that she would have to face trial as soon as the war against the Darkling was over he ushered everyone out, Alina hesitating for a moment before leaving you with the future King, his hands pressing against the surface of his desk, head hanging low as you approached him.

    Gently you placed your hand on his shoulder, causing him to slowly turn around before you wrapped your arms around his torso, his head falling onto your shoulder as he let out a low sigh, your fingers playing with his soft, golden hair.

    “I know you don’t want to hear it but…you can’t be mad at them,” you mumbled, trying not to be too forward.

    “Not be mad at the girl who caused the weakness and inevitable death of my father as well as sided with the Darkling?”

    Nikolai took his head off your shoulder, his hazel eyes looking deeply into yours as you placed your hands on his cheeks, hoping you’d find the right words to explain your view on the situation.

    “No-I…listen, from what I know about Genya she values her beauty and her appearance a lot, and she sacrificed that to save Alina, one of the only people that ever bothered even paying attention to her. She stood between the Darkling and Alina and Mal when you were escaping him. I’m not saying you have to become her best friend but the way I see it? She changed. She’s accepting her faith and that seems like a big change to me. And Alina and the other Grisha were just trying to protect her. Just…think about this okay? If not for her, do it for me,” you said, hoping he’d value your words enough to consider pardoning Genya.

    Letting out another sigh in defeat Nikolai gently shook his head, a small smile appearing on his lips, “I hate it when you’re right.”

    Shrugging your shoulders you let out a soft chuckle that died on your lips as soon as you felt Nikolai’s breath fan over your face.

    Slowly your faces were inching closer and closer, your noses almost touching as he blurted out, ”My father touched you?”

    Taking your hands off his cheeks you took a step back, fumbling with your fingers as you began to pace up and down in front of the blonde prince.

    “I was hoping it wouldn’t come up,” you mumbled as you felt Nikolai’s hands on your shoulders, stopping your pacing.

    “So he did?”

    “Yes,” you breathed out, letting your hang low as you felt tears rise behind your eyes.

    Wordlessly Nikolai wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry without any commentary from his side as he was just holding your body, sobs shaking your body as tears spilt from your eyes, letting you take your time before the words rushed out, telling him about the King's hands on your skin all while Nikolai was intently listening to you, his jaw clenched as he let you speak freely, cursing out the King.

    The next day you found yourself back in the main hall of the Spinning Wheel, friends and fellow Grisha assembled around one of the tables as they filled you in about everything that happened since the Darkling’s attack on Os Alta.

    “And he just dragged you away?” Nadia asked, looking at you with curiosity shining in her eyes.

    Nodding your head you couldn’t fight the smile tugging on your lips at the memory of Nikolai throwing you over his shoulder to get you to the craft, “I wanted to help you so he just picked me and carried me onto the Kingfisher. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help during the fight.”

    “Don’t worry, (Y/N). It’s probably for the best,” Tamar smiled at you before you felt a pair of hands clapped down on your shoulders out of nowhere, causing you to jump and everyone around you to burst out laughing.

    “Didn’t see that coming, did you?” you heard Nikolai’s smooth voice coming from behind you.

    Jumping out of your chair you turned around to face the golden-haired prince, jabbing a finger into his firm chest, “Don’t do that!”

    Turning back towards the table you went back to the previous conversation about the insides of the Spinning Wheel, telling everyone where they could find what whilst trying to ignore Nikolai's presence behind you. Alina stood beside you to take a closer look as you felt Nikolai pressing up behind you, his front against your back, hands on your hips, the heat of his body radiating off of him. 

    Turning your face to the side you couldn’t help but let your eyes flicker over his face, your gaze lingering at his lips for a few seconds before you quietly cleared your throat and turned back to the documents on the table in front of you, avoiding the glance Nikolai send in your direction, a soft smirk spreading over his face before he took a small step back, as well as avoiding the grins your friends wore in front of you.

    Later that day you were rushing down the stairs, going over incoming cargos with Sofia, telling her which boxes should go where and which were prioritised, when Nikolai seemed to appear out of nowhere.

    “Excuse us, Sofia, I’ll need to talk to (Y/N) in private for a second. Surely Nevsky will be able to help you,” he shot a quick smile in her direction before the prince wrapped his fingers around your wrist and dragged you into one of the many hallways.

    The second you were out of sight from any possible curious eyes he pressed you against the hard stone wall, his breath hitting your face as he placed his hands on either side of your head, your breath hitching in your throat.

    “I’m sick of this game, we both know what we feel for each other…I-I really want to kiss you,” Nikolai blurted out, moving his face closer and closer to yours, his nose brushing against yours as your hands slid up his chest.

    “Someone could walk by,” you mumbled, your lips almost touching by then.

    “That’s the thrill of it, isn’t it?”

    You rolled your eyes slightly before closing the distance between the both of you, his soft lips pressing against yours tenderly, testing the waters. Moving your hands over his shoulders you tangled your fingers in the golden hair at the back of his neck, giving the strands a soft tuck to urge Nikolai on, confirming to him that you were comfortable with this, his lips on yours, his arms around your waist, pressed against a wall in a dimly lit hallway of the Spinning Wheel. Slowly, his lips moved over your jaw, leaving pecks on your skin before he settled on your neck, pressing kisses against your sensitive skin.

    “What if we get caught?” you moaned quietly.

    “That’s the-“

    “Don’t say it,” you chuckled breathy, clinging onto his back and burying your fingers even deeper in Nikolai’s hair, his hips pressing against yours which caused your breath to hitch.

    Nikolai’s lips moved skilfully over the skin of your neck, sucking, nibbling and biting, teasing you in all the right ways as soft moans wanted to escape your mouth, the sound muffled by his broad shoulder. Just as you felt his hands move down your back, settling on the curve of your butt someone cleared their throat on your right. Shoving Nikolai away from you, your head snapped to the right, spotting Alina, Mal and the twins, Tolya and Tamar, all four of them spotting shit-eating grins on their faces while heat rapidly rose up your neck, making its way onto your face while Nikolai sheepishly rubbed his the back of his neck.

    “Was-was there something you wanted?” Nikolai coughed nervously, glancing at the Grisha and the otkazat'sya.

    “You were the one that wanted to talk about getting the third amplifier unless…you’re busy otherwise?” Alina’s eyes flickered to where you were leaning against the stone wall, causing you to silently wish the ground below you would open up and swallow you whole.

    Regaining his composure, Nikolai straightened his back, quickly glancing at you before stepping forward, “We’ll be in the war room in five minutes.”

    After the four intruders were gone the blonde prince turned towards you, taking your hands into his, his hazel eyes looking deep into yours.

    “I want you to know that I’m in love with you, (Y/N). After all of this is over I hope you’ll give me chance.”

    “Who said anything about not giving you a chance now? I’m in love with you, too, idiot.”

    You pressed another kiss against his soft mouth, ruffling your hands through his hair before strolling away to the make-shift war room. After a few steps, you heard fast steps approach, Nikolai catching up with you just to take your hand into his, intertwining your fingers, happy grins spreading over both your faces as you looked at each other, love radiating from your eyes because you somehow managed to find a sliver of happiness even in times of your entire country being at war.

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     When you first joined the Avengers you thought you would be pretty damn useless during missions, your powers not really helping you fight any bad guys or allowing you to sneak into buildings. 

     Your only power was to heal injuries, and even that had its limitations. 

     You were only able to do what a regular doctor could do, only you could use your hands for it and didn’t need to rely on any machines and tools. Still, you usually felt rather useless, and the fact that you were the youngest team member only added to it. Most of your time at the Avengers compound was spend in the labs with Dr Banner, as you called him most of the time even though he told you countless times to call him Bruce. 

     The older man admired your interest in science, the way your eyes lit up whenever you watch him work and he loved that you actually listened to what he explained to you, not just pretending, unafraid to ask questions whenever you couldn’t keep up with his babbling. He was your mentor and his opinion on you mattered a lot to you. To be fair, everyone’s opinion matter to you as you looked up to every member of the Avengers but Bruce had been the first person that was actually able to explain your power to you and help you learn how to control them. And this allowed you to go on missions with the rest of the team, not actively but you would always stay behind, patching up any injuries after the fight was done.

     And exactly that was what you were currently doing, fixing the bullet wound in Clint’s right side, numbing the area with your powers to pull out the bullet only for white light to spread from your fingertips, swirls of light entering the wound and closing it from inside. After only a few moments you were done, helping Clint off the stretcher as he thanked you. You smiled at him and proceeded to see where your help was needed next, seeing as many civilians had been injured in the attack the Avengers fought off.

     “(Y/N)! Over here!”

     You turned around to see Tony waving you over to him. Quickly you jogged over to the billionaire, leaping over rubble and sliding to a stop only to see a familiar red and blue suit laying underneath a car.

     “He’s injured, I…I’m gonna lift the car but I’m afraid you need to hurry. Can you go that?” he asked gently yet with urgency in his voice, alarming you of the risk Peter was in.

     Nodding your head you swallowed down the lump that was forming in your throat, “Okay.”

     Kneeling down next to Peter’s body you waited for Tony’s signal, his suit helping him lift off the heavy car as you began to work your magic, the energy that left your fingertips finding any wounds and injuries in an instant, healing your friend slowly from head to toe. You could feel your power reaching its limits, your vision getting hazy, black spots dancing across it but tried to push through it, taking deep breaths to focus. 

     A new surge of energy flashed through you, your hands radiating as more and more swirls of white power left your body, wrapping around Peter’s arms, closing the gaping wound in his chest only to finally move upwards to his head, entering his body through his nose and mouth to heal any internal injuries. 

     Finally, he woke up with a gasp, his eyes flying open which allowed you to shut off your power, your body relaxing for a few moments before your vision turned back. The last thing you heard was Peter yelling out your name, his arms catching you before your head hit the pavement underneath you as your eyes fell close from exhaustion.

     You couldn’t help but squint at the bright light that was shining into your eyes.

     “Thank god, you’re awake,” the person above you sighed in relief, the light moving away from your eyes as he lowered the flashlight.

     “Wha-what happened?” you croaked, trying to sit up but, to your dismay, several hands continued to hold you down, pressing you against the hard pavement underneath your back.

     “You passed out,” Bruce explained to you as he handed you a bottle of water for you to drink, your eyes scanning your surroundings, falling onto Peter’s worried face within only several seconds.

     “Peter, I-“

     “No, no. I’m alright, thank you so much, (Y/N), you saved my life,” the boy assured you, giving your shoulders a firm squeeze.

     Pressing his fingers against your wrist one last time Bruce stood up from the dusty ground, wiping his hands on his pants, “You need to rest for the next couple days but you’re lucky, seems like nothing serious happened.”

     You slowly sat up once Bruce was gone, your friend, and crush, Peter crouching down in front of you.

     “Don’t ever do that again, (Y/N)! You could’ve died.”

     “Peter, I’m okay. And you could’ve died just as well, so don’t blame me for wanting to save your stupid ass from death,” you turned your body towards him, lightly punching his arm.

     Letting out a sigh he settled down next to you, taking your face into his hands to get your full attention.

     “I just…I don’t wanna lose you, (Y/N). I wouldn’t be able to handle that and seeing you passed out I-I panicked. I guess…I guess I just finally realised that I’m in love with you,” he mumbled the last words, his voice barely reaching your ears but to his dismay, you still heard him.

     “I…I’m in love with you, too, Peter,” you smiled at him, leaning forward to press a shy kiss against his chapped lips.

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     “I know this must be a shock for you,” the detective, whose name you had already forgotten, guessed, causing you to scoff at her. 

     Shock. 

     Of course, you were shocked, more than that, even. 

     Who wouldn’t be when they get woken up by a detective asking them to come to their precinct just to tell them that their best friend was murdered the night before? The second the words left the detective’s mouth you felt like your world was collapsing around you. 

     Marina was your best friend, she had been there for you during every breakup, bad grade and other typical high school drama while you stood by her side when she was diagnosed with HIV as well as when she discovered that she was pregnant with the child of Samuel’s brother Nano. As much as it had pained you to know she would leave with the father of her child you told her, several times, that if she needed any help you’d be there for her, not caring what other people would say about you. 

     And now she was gone. 

     Someone had killed her and the detective in front of you wouldn’t tell you who was responsible for her death. For all you knew, they might’ve suspected you as well but after you clarified that you weren’t at the party, that was held in celebration of another successfully finished school year, when Marina was murdered the blonde woman showed more sympathy towards you. You had left the party early due to a migraine, rushing home as soon as the pounding headaches started where you immediately laid down and fell asleep, your parents confirming your alibi to the police.

     “(Y/N), can you tell us anything about this trophy? It doesn’t matter how irrelevant you think it might be, anything you know can help us find out who did this,” the woman asked you, sliding a picture of the bloody trophy across the cold metal table. It was as suddenly you finally registered what happened, the picture making you realise what you had been trying to deny all this time. 

     “Marina is dead,” you mumbled, almost as if you were in trance, to yourself, the lump that was forming in your throat causing your voice to sound nasal and rough.

     “I’m sorry. We’re gonna do anything we can to find-“

     “Can I go to the bathroom?” you blurted out, pushing your chair back as you felt tears rising behind your eyes.

     Opening the door for you the detective didn’t even get a chance to say anything else to you as you stormed past her, pressing your hands against your eyes as you furiously tried to stop the tears from spilling down your face. Just as you entered the waiting hall you nearly collided with a body, the person’s hands steadying you by gripping onto your shoulders. Looking up you looked into the eyes of the brother of your dead best friend, Guzman. Before he could say anything to you, you took a step back, his arms falling to his side as you scurried through the big entrance hall into the hallway that led you to the bathrooms. Absentmindedly you recognised your friends and classmates sitting on the wooden chairs, their eyes following you as you rushed past them.

     Throwing open the door to the bathrooms you couldn’t help the sob that left your mouth, pressing your hand against your mouth to stifle the sobs that wanted to escape you as you pressed your back against the cold, white tiles of the bathroom, slowly sliding down until you were sitting on the hard floor. Hugging your legs to your chest you let your forehead rest against your knees, tears freely falling down your cheeks and onto your shirt, wetting the material.

     Just as you were wiping the tears from your cheeks the door next to you opened, revealing Guzman who immediately saw you sitting on the floor of the bathroom with wet eyes, tears running down your face.

     Without a single word he sat down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shaking shoulders to pull you close to his body, the smell of his cologne filling your nose as you leaned your head against his shoulder. Silent tears escaped both your eyes, his wetting the top of your hair in the process. Not that you cared, you were both mourning the death of a loved person after all.

     “She really cared about you,” Guzman interrupted the silence, causing you to look up to him.

     “I really care about her, too…cared about her, too. She was my best friend after all,” you choked out.

     Guzman tightened the grip around your shoulder, pressing you even closer to his muscular chest as your tears wet his t-shirt while his hand ran up and down your arm, the motion slightly calming you down.

     You spend several minutes sitting in complete silence, both of you trying to figure out your thoughts, what to do, what to say next. All you knew was that your life was turned upside down, thrown off the rails, with the death of your best friend. But if that explained the weird sensation you felt in your stomach? You were not so sure.

     Before you knew it there was a knock on the door, Ander poking his head through the door to check on the both of you.

     “We’ll be out in a second, Ander,” Guzman said before the boy got the chance to say anything.

     Nodding his head Ander closed the door again, leaving Guzman and you alone.

     “(Y/N), I-“

     “Guzman, I’m-“

     You both tried to speak at the same time, causing a soft chuckle to escape the both of you.

     “I’m sorry for being such a jerk to you all this time. I hope you can forgive me at some point.”

     “No, I’m sorry. I was prejudiced and treated you like the worst person on earth. Marina really loved you and she always said you were better than I thought. I-I guess I should’ve listened to her earlier.”

     You looked up into his blue eyes but before you open your mouth again Guzman’s lips crashed into yours, knocking all air out of your lungs. After a few moments, you reached up to tangle your fingers into his soft hair, pulling his face even closer to yours as you felt yourself getting lost in the kiss.

     You didn’t know if you were kissing because of the pent up emotions, because of the loss of Marina or because you both felt like you needed the other but if there was one thing you were sure of, it was that you knew you had to learn to live with the pain of losing someone you loved, and maybe even grow from it.

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    This entire night had been an absolute disaster for you. First you all had to dress up to attend this fancy party to convict the leader of this big drug-dealing ring, then Jake and Amy were paired up to go undercover as a couple while you were ordered to stand at the bar, letting tipsy, old white men slur disgusting things into your ear just for you to discreetly push them away, not wanting to cause a scene. All throughout the evening you couldn’t help but let your gaze wander back to Jake and Amy, seeing the both of them dance with each other, quite intimately as well, made your insides boil, your gaze hardening and intensifying as you leaned against the bar.

    “What’s with the long face?” Rosa approached you, leaning against the bar as you continued to keep an eye on the guest, or at least tried to.

    “Nothing. Just…leave me alone, Rosa,” you replied with a grumpy voice, trying not to let your friend and coworker know the real version why this case had been wanting you to pull all your hair out. 

    Rosa, however, knew you much better than you thought, seeing right through you as her eyes followed your glare, seeing Jake and Amy dance with each other as they had to pretend to be a couple for this case. Smirking to herself the dark-haired woman set off, leaving you to sulk all by yourself while trying to find a subtle way of letting her best friend know that you were jealous of the woman he was dancing with.

    “Green’s really not your colour, (Y/N),” Jake mumbled into your ear after ordering a drink for himself once you were done with the case, the drug boss arrested and the squad gathered at Shaw’s to celebrate.

    Turning your face towards your brown-haired coworker you raised an eyebrow at him, “Huh?”

    “Oh come on, I saw the way you looked at Amy and me earlier. It was kinda obvious.”

    “I’m not jealous,” you frowned, trying to convince yourself more than Jake, “Why would I be jealous of Amy and you? There’s nothing to be jealous of…right?”

    “Oh my god, you are jealous!” he grinned, happy about his victory and you admitting to him that you were, in fact, jealous of Amy.

    “I’m not!”

    “Oh, come on, (Y/N). There’s no use in denying it, we all know it,” Rosa smirked from behind Jake, fist-bumping her best friend which ultimately tipped you off.

    “God, I can’t believe you two,” you groaned, placing your drink back down onto the counter before walking out of the bar to get some fresh air, Jake following you after paying both your drinks, having a feeling that neither of you would return.

    Once outside Shaw’s Bar you were leaning against the brick wall, trying to find the emergency package of cigarettes you always had with you until you remembered how Jake had forced you to throw every single package out, urging you to finally quit your unhealthy habit despite having several unhealthy habits himself. Hearing steps approach you lifted your gaze from the pavement underneath you, seeing Jake walk up to you, his hands tugged into the pockets of his jacket.

    “Listen, I’m sorry for upsetting you, (Y/N), Rosa and I were just messing around,” Jake explained while leaning against the wall next to you.

    Averting your gaze, you looked back down onto the pavement, eyes focusing on an old piece of gum as you mumbled, “Well, it’s not that nice when people joke about your feelings.”

    “I…So you-you do have a crush on me? Rosa wasn’t joking?”

    Jake pushed himself off the cold brick wall, stepping in front of you lift up your face, forcing you to look at him.

    “Yeah…I-I guess?”

    “Well…,” Jake trailed off, running his hands through his short, brown hair before you could hear him whisper a quiet ‘Fuck it’ to himself.

    Before you were able to ask what he meant you felt his lips crashing onto yours, taking your breath away while the detective softly pressed you against the wall behind you, the cold bricks pressing into your back. Running your hands up his arms you could feel his tense biceps underneath your fingertips, giving them a quick squeeze your hands continued to wander upwards, tangling themselves into the hair in the back of his neck before Jake pulled away again.

    “I really didn’t mean you hurt your feelings earlier, I hope you know that. I would love to take you out on a date sometime, only if that’s okay with you of course, but since we just kissed I’m guessing you’re gonna say yes. Then again, I don’t wanna make this decision for you so please, take your time and-“

    “Jake,” you interrupted his rambling, sighing while you leaned your forehead against his, “Just let me sleep in your stupid t-shirts and hold your dumb hand, you piece of shit.”

    You pressed your lips back onto his before he got another chance to go back to rambling, effectively shutting him up this time.

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     With a deep sigh, you stood up from your position on your bed in the Avengers headquarters, making sure to not put too much weight on your injured leg as you limped out of your room to search for your boyfriend. You had only recently arrived back in the United States after the tragedy that went down in the kingdom of Wakanda and Thor had disappeared shortly after your arrival, saying he wanted some time for himself. 

     To say you were worried about the God of Thunder would’ve been an understatement. You cared deeply for him and seeing him isolate himself, not being his cheerful and bubbly self, hurt you more than you wanted to admit. Turning a corner you entered one of the many hallways, empty of any people, so continued to walk through the huge building, trying your best to find your boyfriend in the labyrinth of hallways and lab rooms.

     It was hard to not notice him, his giant body sitting hunched over on the wooden bench in the hallway, grey jacket stretching over his broad back while the god continued to fiddle with his fingers. His head was hanging low, eyes cast downward, as he was deep in thoughts, not noticing you approach him.

     You could only imagine the thoughts spinning inside his head, now that you were back in the Avengers headquarters together with Steve, Nat and Bruce, trying to come up with a plan on how to bring everyone back. 

     Your friends. 

     Your family. 

     All dead. 

     They vanished right in front of your eyes after Thanos had managed to collect all Infinity Stones, wiping away half of earth’s population. You all had tried to stop him, back in Wakanda but it didn’t work. In the end, you only had to watch your loved ones turn to dust, scattering in the wind while you were trying to comprehend what the hell was going on. Just the thought of watching Sam disappear right before you brought tears into your eyes, he was your best friend, had been for years. He was the one who took care of you when your heart got broken by your ex-boyfriend cheating on you, he was the one visiting you in hospital when you got injured on a mission and he was the one who introduced you to Thor, your current boyfriend and the man who was sitting before you, troubled with survivor’s guilt, his hands raking through his short hair before resting his head on them.

     “Babe?” you quiet voice made Thor look up, seeing you limp around the bench, still injured from the fight, your leg in a brace which limited your movement as well as the fact that you had bruises covering your entire body, several broken ribs and a big plaster covering the laceration on your forehead. 

     The god held out his hand, helping you settle down next to you as you leaned your head against his broad shoulder. He didn’t bother faking a smile, knowing you’d see right through him.

     “This is all my fault,” he whispered, mostly towards himself, not meaning for you to hear his words. Needless to say, you did anyway.

     Lifting your head up you looked at the side profile of your boyfriend, his eyes focused on the wall in front of you, “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

     Thor slowly turned his face towards you, grief and sorrow clouding his eyes as he looked at you.

     “They’re all dead because of me. Sam, Bucky, T’Challa and Shuri. All those soldiers that died for nothing, protecting the soul stone with their lives. So many people sacrificed their lives and now they’re dead because of me, because I didn’t kill him. Heimdall and Loki, too. My brother is dead, my people are dead because I lead them into an ambush. I could’ve saved them, I could’ve stopped Thanos but I didn’t. Innocent people died and I…I did nothing,” Thor croaked out, his voice turning rough, tears welling up in his eyes as he spiralled down a path of guilt and agony, “Do you not understand, my love?”

     He had lost everything, his father in Valhalla, his planet destroyed because of his crazy sister of death, a majority of his people dead, Loki killed by Thanos, half of earth’s population gone and he blamed himself for everything.

     “It’s not your fault. All of this, it wasn’t you. You did the best you could and no one is blaming you for what happened,” you tried to convince your boyfriend, grasping tightly onto his hand, aggravation clear in your voice.

     Thor, however, had other plans. He jumped up from the bank you both were sitting on, pacing up and down in front of you while running his hands through his short hair, tugging on the strands before he came to a stop right before you.

     “Stop! Stop telling me these lies when we both know it’s my fault. Don’t you see? I’m the reason your best friend is dead, (Y/N). Sam is dead. And so is Bucky. Most of your friends and your family is dead just because I messed up and you’re trying to comfort me? Be angry at me, tell me you hate me, scream at me for being the reason the people most important to you are gone.”

     “Don’t you think I know?” you fumed, tears clouding your vision, your red-rimmed eyes staring up into your boyfriend’s eyes as you dragged yourself into a standing position before him, purposefully ignoring the hand he offered you to help you up.

     “I know that they’re gone. I know that my parents are dead. Fuck, I tried to call them, I tried so many times but they didn’t pick up the phone so I know they’re gone. My parents are dead. My best friend disappeared right in front of my eyes and we have no fucking clue if Tony or Peter are still alive, hell, we don’t even know where the fuck they are but you know what? This? All of this mess? It’s not your fault. So stop pitying yourself and look around you, we need you here, and I can’t stand seeing you like this because I love you. And nothing in the whole universe will ever stop that. Not even that purple asshole.”

     Lowering his head you could see the tears collecting in your boyfriend’s eyes as he sat back down onto the bench, prompting you to follow suit, taking his offered hand as you gently lowered yourself next to him in order to go easy on your injured leg. Once sat down you help your arms wide open for Thor, your boyfriend not waiting long before burying his face into your chest.

     “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my love,” he whimpered, his tears soaking through your shirt.

     You couldn’t help but let shock take over your body, never before have you seen your boyfriend in this state, usually always pretending to be hard on the outside even though he was an absolute softie behind closed doors but you had never seen the God of Thunder openly cry. His reaction only caused your own tears to roll down your cheeks, allowing yourself to show your emotions for the first time ever since you saw your friends turn into dust right in front of you several days ago.

     “It’s not your fault,” you repeated yourself, stroking your boyfriend’s muscular back while tears continued to fall from both your eyes, drenching your shirt and wetting his hair, “You did the best you could do and no one blames you for that, you hear me? It’s not your fault.”

--

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     “No, not there, Paddy,” you could hear Tom scold his younger brother in the living room. 

     Chuckling to yourself before returning to cutting up the vegetables to help Nikki with the Christmas Eve dinner while quietly singing along to the Christmas music that was playing all through the Holland house.

     “You should consider doing that professionally,” Nikki chimed in next to you.

     “Huh?”

     “Singing, I mean. You have a really pretty voice.”

     “Uh, thank you but I don’t think it’s something for me to be honest,” you smiled at the mother of your boyfriend before both your heads snapped towards the entrance of the kitchen, a huffing Tom standing in the doorway.

     “Do you need any help, mum?” he asked before walking over to lean on the counter next to you.

     “No, we’re good. Shouldn’t you be helping your brothers?”

     “They’re being insufferable. Paddy is just hanging whatever ornaments where he likes and Sam and Harry are messing around with the tinsel,” the Brit sighed, pushing himself off the counter just to stand behind you and wrap his around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder and pecking your cheek.

     “You alright, love?”

     “Perfectly fine, I love your family so much,” you beamed at him, appreciating his concern since he knew how much spending Christmas with your family usually meant to you. 

     However, this year he had invited you to spend it with him and his family, seeing as you two had been dating for quite a while and he wanted to involve you more with his family. You agreed, under the condition that he’d spend the next Christmas with your family to which he couldn’t say no to. 

     “Tom!” Sam yelled from the living room, causing your boyfriend to groan and unwrap his arms from your waist.

     “Well, I’m gonna leave you both to it,” he said while walking out of the kitchen to see what his younger brother wanted to him.

     “Regretting your decision yet?” Nikki teased, knowing damn well how chaotic her family could be around Christmas time.

     “No, definitely not,” you chuckled slightly, “At least it’s not boring.”

     Just a few hours later you were all sitting on the huge couch in the living room, stomachs full with dinner and deserts, dressed in your pyjamas while watching ‘Love Actually’ and drinking hot chocolate out of hand-painted mugs.

     “I hope you had some fun today,” Tom mumbled into your ear after setting his mug down on the table beside him, yours joining his as you handed it over to him.

     “I did. Your family is amazing.”

     You pressed yourself closer to your boyfriend, pulling the red fluffy blanket up to your head.

     “I love you, thanks for spending Christmas with us, darling,” Tom pressed his lips to your cheek before he cuddled himself more into the soft pillows of the couch, pulling you with him and wrapping his arms tighter around you.

     “I love you too. Merry Christmas, Tom.”

     “Merry Christmas, love.”

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     “I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” your fiancé sighed dramatically while carrying the Christmas tree you two had just bought.

     “I told you, Sebastian, I’m not getting a fake tree. Either a real one or none, there will be no disgusting plastic in my living room.”

     “I forgot how passionate you were about Christmas trees,” Sebastian chuckled as you held open the door to your apartment building for him.

     “Well, what can I say? Christmas is my favourite time of the year and the smell of a freshly cut Nordmann fir is unbeatable.”

     “Gotta agree with you there.”

     “Tilt it a little to the right,” you instructed Sebastian as he adjusted the Christmas tree in its stand.

     “Yours or mine?” he asked while holding the stem with one hand.

     “Mine.”

     Your fiancé tilted it slightly until you told him to stop and after he fixated the tree in the stand he went and stood beside you, locking his arms while you both looked at the beautiful tree.

     “I’m pretty sure it’s as straight as we can get it,” he said before turning to you, waiting for your response.

     “Yep, it’s perfect, let’s go and decorate it.”

     You hurried into the little broom closet to pull out the box with Christmas tree ornaments you had acquired over the years, placing it on the coffee table in your living room and spreading out the different baubles.

     “You're fine on your own, babe?” 

     Sebastian wrapped his arms around you, knowing very well how you usually wanted to decorate the tree on your own, not needing or wanting anyone else’s hands to mess up your work.

     “Yeah, I’ll call you if I need you,” you answered, ultimately excusing Sebastian to go and read the book he had only recently started while you took out the first bauble and placed it onto the Christmas tree, starting to long process of decorating the tree until it finally matched your expectations.

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Tag Lists

(after 3 strikethroughs you’ll be removed since I was unable to tag you)

Forever Tag List: @marvelsbunch @trees-and-ink @stardustbooknerd  @heartbreaker6995 @alex–awesome–22 @caswinchester2000 @sheridans-dynamos

Sebastian Stan: @thisismysecrethappyplace @thebookamongmen @stanclub

Ficmas: @black-widow-fangirl @idk–1zs @technolilly @swinchestersgirl@sincerelyfan @poortrashwithnoaesthetic @blackloveangel13 @definitelyravenv @archivemyface @f3tch-caine @everythingbooknerd @brujademente

     The next morning you woke up to snow falling outside your window, the smell of coffee wafting through your small apartment. Shooting out of bed you quickly gazed at your alarm clock, afraid you had missed your alarm only to see that you technically still had another ten minutes until you needed to get up. You quickly got dressed before you were greeted by Diana standing in your kitchen and making some breakfast for the two of you.

     “Good morning,” she smiled while you sat down on one of the two stools at your breakfast bar, the older woman placing a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes in front of you.

     “You didn’t have to, Diana,” you shook your head at her in disbelief.

     “I know, but I’m so grateful that you invited me here and let me stay with you. It’s the least I could do.”

     After you both ate your food you quickly packed some of the presents you got for your friends and teammates, including JJ’s sons who just so happened to be your godsons as well.

     “Let’s go then, shall we?” you asked Diana, slinging your bag over your shoulder, keys in your hands before you opened your door and let her step out into the hallway, locking in behind you. 

     You led Diana down to the garage to get into your car and drive to the BAU building. The ride there went by smoothly, both of you almost effortlessly keeping a conversation going which you were beyond glad about. You loved Spencer with all your heart but sometimes you got worried what his mother thought of you, however, your worries had been completely unnecessary after all since Diana was absolutely enjoying your company, happy that her son found such an amazing girlfriend.

     Just a few minutes later you parked your car and walked into the BAU together with Diana, getting her a visitor pass and leading her into the elevator which took you to the floor your team’s office was at. As soon as the doors opened you both walked towards the meeting room, the windows luckily covered so that no one could see Diana and you approach.

     “Ready to surprise Spence?” you turned towards your boyfriend's mother who replied with a quick ‘yes, of course’ while nodding her head.

     You raised your hand to knock on the door before opening it and stepping inside.

     “Mom?” Spencer gaped as his mother walked inside behind you.

     “Surprise,” you beamed at your boyfriend as he walked over to where Diana and you were standing, hugging his mum tightly and pressing a kiss to the top of her head before turning to you, grabbing your face in his hands and connecting your lips in a quick kiss. 

     Shocked you looked up to the genius, knowing very well how little Spencer liked to display any sort of affection at work.

     “I love you, (Y/N), thank you so much,” Spencer mumbled pecking your lips again until he wrapped his arm around you, still too much in awe of what his girlfriend managed to pull off.

     “So you…you didn’t have to give a lecture?” Penelope asked while walking over to you and giving you a quick ‘welcome back’ hug. Leave it to Garcia to make a two-day trip seem like you were gone for a year.

     “Yeah, I flew to Las Vegas and back yesterday to pick up Diana. Emily let me take the jet.”

     All eyes suddenly drifted towards the black-haired woman.

     “What? I’m a sucker for family reunions,” she chuckled softly.

     Hours later all the presents were passed out, everyone’s stomachs were full and you were all sitting around in the meeting room, Spencer and you cuddled up on a sofa with Henry napping in your lap, his face pressed against your chest while he was fast asleep.

     “He’s so cute,” you whispered to Spencer your hand softly caressing his chubby cheek.

     “You’d make good parents,” Diana chimed in causing Spencer and you to look up at her sitting in a chair just a few feet away from you, Emily and JJ nodding next to her.

     “Well…maybe one day,” you smile up at your boyfriend, knowing that as much as he loved his godsons, Henry and Michael, he wanted to have his own kids someday.

     “Really, you’d want that?” 

     Spencer turned his body completely towards you, Emily, JJ and Diana going back to their previous conversation while occasionally glancing in your direction with smirks on their faces which you didn’t miss.

     “Yes, I…You’re the only one I can imagine starting a family with. I know I said something different a bit ago but I think you somehow managed to change my mind. Or maybe I just hope our child turns out as cute as everyone’s kids.”

     “Well if they’re gonna be anything like their mother then our child will be the cutest thing on earth, right after you,” Spencer smiled at you, his words causing the heat to rise to your face.

     “Debatable,” you chuckled before pressing yourself back to his side, his arms wrapping around you and Henry while pressing his lips to your forehead.

     “I love you, (Y/N), happy Christmas.”

     “Happy Christmas, Spencer.”

PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK! I’D APPRECIATE IT A LOT :)

Tag Lists

(after 3 strikethroughs you’ll be removed since I was unable to tag you)

Forever Tag List: @marvelsbunch @trees-and-ink @stardustbooknerd  @heartbreaker6995 @alex–awesome–22 @caswinchester2000 @sheridans-dynamos

Criminal Minds: @m00sethemurderer 

Spencer Reid: @castellandiangelo

Ficmas: @black-widow-fangirl @idk–1zs @technolilly @swinchestersgirl@sincerelyfan @poortrashwithnoaesthetic @blackloveangel13 @definitelyravenv @archivemyface @f3tch-caine @everythingbooknerd @brujademente